Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@AMothersLove123 thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sure it will help someone who finds themselves in the same shoes later on. As others have said, your daughter will only ever know your love and will never know pain, keep reminding yourself of that in the tough times.

I hope you and your family are managing to take some time to digest everything and hold each other close. I too remember the rawness of the first few weeks after the TFMR - I found my emotions very unpredictable. Sending you healing vibes.

Went in for a dating scan today and was measuring 10 weeks so could have the bloods taken for the NIPT. Now I have to wait and see. I’ve been told there may be a chance that the result is inconclusive as there may not yet be enough of the baby’s DNA in my bloodstream. That would mean going in again to be re-tested which feels like prolonging the agony.

Clearly the sonographer was not briefed as to why I was having a scan at 10 weeks so I had to explain which felt awkward.

Hoping I can keep things together this week for the wait. I’m terrified about receiving the call from the FMU, when the midwife was explaining the process to me as soon as she said they’ll call with the results I felt a sense of dread.

@Rumbleinthecrumble so annoying the result might be inconclusive and they didn't tell the sonographer! I have been told NIPT was 8 weeks so good to know this (if I ever manage to conceive again). Must be so horrible waiting for the phone to ring. Hope you find a way to get through it and got everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

Has anyone ever called the FMU for genetic counselling after struggling TTC?

It's been 18 months since my TFMR and nothing. Going through GP for other checks and going to request a test for Ashermans after my MVA. I was allowed MVA at 16w because I was only measuring 11w, but don't know if the progression of tissue and process has caused scarring. Hopefully GP will put me forward for tests now usual tests have come back clear so I don't have to go private but we'll see

Thanks @samilicious, been feeling very overwhelmed today. Really struggling to keep my emotions in check, burst into tears as I went past the road I’d had to pull into to take the call with my amnio results last year. The fear of what the NIPT result will be is just so strong - I don’t know how I’ll cope if there is something wrong again.

@Rumbleinthecrumble I remember this really clearly from my post-TFMR pregnancy. I don't have much to offer for today, but what I can say is once we were passed this, a lot of the weight lifted off of my pregnancy and it was a better experience. Getting through the 20 week scan also really helped. Best of luck with it all today.

@Rumbleinthecrumble thinking of you and hoping you get nothing but positive news as soon as possible!

@AMothersLove123 just wanted to see how you are doing?

@Pickled24 thank you for asking. It’s a mixed bag at the moment. I have times where I am ok and then it hits me - immense sadness, guilt, anger. I think this is what I should expect going forward. Physically I feel fine. I have had a couple of very brief episodes of cramps but my bleeding is much less now so I’m hoping for no retained products to add further complications. I plucked up the courage to test hcg earlier (10 days on) and it was a very very faint line so my body is catching up with all that has happened. Really hoping to TTC again as soon as possible but I know I need to manage my expectations there too. Starting with tracking BBT and OPKs just to see what is happening. Fingers crossed this is your month. I conceived this pregnancy the month after a chemical, I hope that is the case for you too.

@AMothersLove123 I am glad physically you are feeling ok and hoping no more cramps or any retained product for you!!
Mentally is definitely the bigger challenge and you are going to have ups and downs but over time it will get easier and I hope that guilt lessens I struggled with that for a while but that part has got easier - the sadness and anger is still there but more manageable and you are in the depths of it now but there is light at the end of this tunnel and I hope your daughter looking down on you will give you that strength over time!! You took away her pain and suffering don’t forget that 🩷
I know exactly what you mean TTC was all I could think about but in some ways I’m glad for me personally didn’t happen straight away as I don’t think mentally I was ready, I don’t know if I every fully will be but I want to bring a baby home so bad so that fear outweighs it all - thank you so much that chemical messed me up a bit but I’m just continuing! Sending you lots of love and strength over these weeeks and if you want to chat anytime we are all here regarding what’s happened or embarking on the hell that is TTC again 😂

Got the call late this afternoon that this pregnancy is low risk. Obviously that is only one hurdle, but I have a huge sense of relief. Started shaking when I saw no caller ID and didn’t stop until 10 mins later.

I completely forgot to ask if they knew the sex of the baby. For those of you who have had an NIPT via the NHS were you given that info? I know they can give that detail as a friend had one privately, but unsure if it’s routinely checked in the NHS test.

Obviously I don’t care what sex the baby is, but I’ve got a fair few friends who want to give away kids clothes so would be helpful to know.

Hey @Rumbleinthecrumble just wanted to say how happy I am to hear your results were low risk - how are you feeling?
I have no experience with NIPT but wanted to acknowledge your post and results - hope you are doing okay and that relief you have got since the call is still there :)

Hi! There is alot of posts on this thread but yours seemed most similar to my situation. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find your update so was wondering if you your happy ending after your tfmr? Thank you!! We just tfmr in may at 15 weeks Xxx x

Thank you so much @Pickled24. I am still relieved although not quite settled. Have the official dating scan the week after next which I see as the next milestone. Been feeling really wiped out which I think may be letting go of some of the anxiety.

Had a read up and I don’t think that the NHS checks for the baby’s sex in the NIPT, from what I gather there were concerns about it being used for gender selection although that doesn’t make much sense when it’s only offered in very special cases where I can’t imagine anyone would choose to terminate if it wasn’t the gender they wanted.

I’m just hoping for a healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy and really don’t care what the sex is.

How are you feeling? Have you been TTC this month or did you decide to take a break after your chemical? It’s so hard to know what to do when you feel so bruised by the process. Hoping you’re being kind to yourself.

@Rumbleinthecrumble i am sure you are mentally and physically exhausted! You should give yourself a wee treat after this next scan something to look forward too after if you can even some food / treat yourself to a wee outfit for you even a wee face mask just anything! I know it doesn’t really help but just try and remember the majority of pregnancies are smooth and well but we have just been thrown the shittest card which makes us worry and think the worst - are the hospital being good with you?
I am okay thanks so much for asking back on the TTC wagon this month even though I know I’m only 34 it’s still my first pregnancy and I have pcos and would love to have a couple of kids so trying to just keep going - my anxiety has been really high since my chemical for some reason I just keep going over and over and on google constantly about what my daughter had and torturing myself and just overthinking the pure fear of falling pregnant and how would I make it to 20 weeks where everything went wrong but also scared not to fall pregnant - my goodness what a head mess but upside booked a holiday and off in 2 weeks with my husband!!

Hi Rumble

Delighted to hear your NIPT was low risk, it is just such a relief. I totally appreciate that the relief is short lived and then I was onto the next milestone but that's only natural! We are 11 days out from our anomaly scan and I've been telling myself that I will relax a bit more after that and start buying things!

I had NIPT on the NHS both times - first time after a high NT at the 12 week scan, second time on this pregnancy because that last baby had T18. I was told the NHS wouldn't tell you the gender from the NIPT.

I think we're holding out for a surprise anyway!

@Pickled24 Each part of the process seems a challenge and I feel for you as I know PCOS brings an added complexity. You can only focus on the here and now. I don’t blame you for continuing with TTC after the chemical - in many forums I read of people conceiving the next month after a chemical although anecdotal feedback isn’t always helpful as it can build expectations and make you feel like an outlier if it doesn’t happen for you. I’m sending you positive vibes and hope you have a fabulous holiday 💕

@MrsScotland thank you and hope the 11 days pass quickly and you have a smooth and uneventful anomaly scan. I’m not sure I could wait for a surprise although it is a lovely thing to do!

For those that are a bit further along in their journey, how long after your TFMR did it take to conceive again?

@Rumbleinthecrumble

@Pickled24 I have PCOS and I took Inofolic before conceiving both my TFMR baby and the baby I'm currently pregnant with. There's some brilliant studies on it, worth taking a look.

@jt130593 it took 4 cycles for me to conceive again after my TFMR. 3 of those cycles were very strange - heavily bleeding, late ovulation and mid-cycle bleeding. I conceived the first month my cycle returned to normal.

@Gingerk1tty thank you I’m on my fourth month of taking Infolic alpha and have noticed a huge difference with my ovulation and periods!
I'm finding myself getting so so anxious at the thought of falling pregnant yet it’s all I want - I’m so worried I won’t cope and will struggle did anyone else feel this way during TTC? I just want to know I will cope if I get pregnant and not go down a hole but no one can predict that but I’m struggling to talk myself out of this pit atm of pure fear!

@Pickled24 glad it seems to be helping you as well. I was also very scared of falling pregnant and wondered how I would cope if the same thing happened again. But I also knew that getting pregnant would be the only way to heal my heart a bit after losing our TFMR baby lady September. It's very hard but I didn't see that there was another choice. Since I've been pregnant I have found it harder to bond with the pregnancy in the same way I did with my son who is now 2 but I'm gradually getting there. I have also had quite bad anxiety around scans but I've just had my 20 week scan and all went well so I'm a bit more at ease now and enjoying the kicks.

@Gingerk1tty thank you for coming back to me and I’m so glad to hear your 20 week scan went well and you are enjoying the kicks!
I can imagine re the bonding due to what happened last time. I don’t even just have a fear of the same thing happening it’s now anything at all as I love forums but it’s opened my eyes to what else goes wrong but I want to bring a baby home so bad so I need to just keep going!! Thank you for replying nice to know I’m not alone in these consuming feelings

@Pickled24 yes I too worry about something else being wrong. My son was born healthy and I almost can't believe I could be so lucky again! I'll only believe it once she's here I think. Sending you strength and hope it happens for you when the time is right.

I’m with you on this! Longing to be pregnant again but also terrified of getting a positive test. We’re now on month 6 TTC since TFMR. My periods and ovulation have been very regular and like clock work since the month after TFMR. I’m using ovulation strips, tracking BBT and having sex at all the ‘right’ times and struggling with the fact it’s just not happened yet. It’s so difficult!

@Pickled24 youre not alone with how you’re feeling.
I had my TFMR in March and we’ve been TTC since as I think being pregnant is the only thing that will heal me slightly. I spend the couple of weeks up to ovulation hoping that this is our month, and then I spend the couple of weeks after ovulation being absolutely petrified of a positive test

Morning ladies

I had a TFMR for T18 in October, it had taken us 18 months to conceive so I was really worried it wouldn't happen for us again.

My periods came back after 5 weeks and they were a bit heavier, which I was actually pleased about as previously they had been light and short, and I was worried I didn't have enough lining.

I fell pregnant on the fourth cycle, taking the following. I was also doing all the BBT, LH strips etc. I actually had a weird cycle the month we conceived. I had a LH surge and ovulation cramps, but my BBT didn't rise to confirm. Two days later, I had the cramps and EWCM again, and my BBT went up the following day. We didn't manage to DTD again in those two days, so it just shows it's really important the sperm are up there and waiting!

Vitamins everyday:
Ubiquinol 600mg & Omega 3, 6, 9 (Just over 2 months of taking this before I fell pregnant again).
Her9 pre/during/post natal multivitamin inc things like Omega 3, folate, choline, vit D, iron, zinc, selenium etc.
Prescribed 5mg folic acid as my BMI is over 30 and I'm 39.