Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Hey ladies, mind if I join?
I had a TFMR for trisomy 13 in January 2023. Been ttc since August with no joy. At this point, I don't know what terrifies me more - never being pregnant or being pregnant and worrying it will happen again

Hey @samilicious sorry to hear about your TFMR last year and your current TTC journey! I am only on my 3rd month TTC and am just desperate to be pregnant again so in some ways I understand (albeit I’ve not been TTC as long). Is there anything you’ve tried different each month or?
I completely hear what you say about the fear - for me personally the fear of never being pregnant and having a child outweighs the fear of trying but the fear of being pregnant is real. I just try and tell myself that the majority of pregnancies are uncomplicated and we were dealt just really crap cards but hold on that hope that the next time all will be well and the care you will hopefully get will make that easier. Each pregnancy is different and there is no reason what happened to you should happen again - doesn’t get rid of the fear as I’m the same but I really try and tell myself my odds are the same as anyone else again and surely lightening can’t strike twice.

Well I think I might be out this month 😢

Im about 6 or 7 dpo, period is still about 8 days away and today I’ve had a headache that I normally get just before my period and some mild cramping

Bit odd it’s started now when there’s still over a week to my period, but maybe my hormones just aren’t back to normal yet after my TFMR 🤷‍♀️

Oh well on to the next month I guess

@jt130593 you never know until your period comes! Honestly I’ve spent the last few months doing the opposite and convincing myself I was pregnant as I had all these symptoms which I never got before period but lo and behold period came each time. Also your body is still very much adjusting and you just never know - hold on to some hope! I’m about to enter my TWW tomorrow and I HATE it but this month I have promised myself to not symptom spot and not get addicted to testing - I’ll last about a day I’m sure 😂 I know it’s really difficult with each day and the wondering but keep going!

@Rumbleinthecrumble - how are you doing?

Thanks for asking @EMcG3. I told my husband the news and he was surprised, happy but apprehensive which probably sums up my reaction. I still feel quite detached from the pregnancy which I think is probably a coping mechanism. Just trying to wait for different milestones/hurdles and keep my anxiety levels down.

I have to log the pregnancy with the local midwife team next week, and self-refer to the hospital. Their website suggests if you’ve had a TFMR you should contact the screening team as you may be eligible for an NIPT rather than the usual screening test. This is promising but not holding out hope given the consultant I spoke to when I signed off on the TFMR said they didn’t offer NIPT or additional scans and instead would offer a CVS or amnio rather than the usual screening which he acknowledged didn’t make sense as they come with a risk and are more expensive to perform than a blood test! Plus they are done later than the NIPT.

How are you getting on with your 6m old? You must be starting to see new changes all the time 😊

Rumble there has been some sort of campaign to make the NIPT available on the nhs for those who have had a tfmr before. The charity ARC know all about it so if you get any pushback form your hospital, email ARC and they should be able to give you something to support it

@MrsScotland I didn't know that. That's really helpful to know. X

No problem. Sorry I don’t know the detail of it but I think it’s very recent and hasn’t trickled down to all the hospitals yet. Fortunately it already in offer in my area - glasgow.

@Pickled24 thank you! I've dipped in and out of testing, this cycle I didn't test (ovulation stuff). Was using strips, then CB which I kept breaking somehow 😂 it took me a while to ttc our 3yo daughter, I got really stressed and down as we'd already had another loss so was like reliving each month, and only conceived when I'd "given up" (that old annoying chestnut), so I've "given up" for a few months now hoping to trick my body to no avail 🥲 totally get what you're saying about the fear - I think that's closer to how I really feel too but I'm too scared to admit it in case it never happens. What is your ttc approach currently?

@Rumbleinthecrumble well done for telling your DH, that must have taken some deep breathes! Always worth asking about NIPT. We had a managerial staff change at my hospital inbetween the fetal medicine scan and follow up appointment and the policy on them changed it's now the same as @MrsScotland

Also reading your stories about celebrating due dates and scattering ashes / attending funerals was really beautiful and emotional for me.

I went through BPAS so I could get surgical management as it wasn't offered nhs (had MVA due to gestation showing much smaller / younger than they were judging by earlier scans I'd had privately for reassurance). Someone at BPAS told me I could keep the ashes, then at the appointment said I couldn't because the remains were too small no undertaker would cremate them. I was so emotionally exhausted I just went with it but I really regret that decision now. I couldn't even look at scan pics but later got one printed. Initially I wanted to distance myself from it, but you never know how you'll feel later in the grieving process do you

@Rumbleinthecrumble This is lovely to read, I am very hopeful for you. For me the shadow of my TFMR was very heavy until I passed the mark when I terminated. It got better again when I passed the viability threshold and better again when I got into the final stretch where you are checked a lot and I had many growth scans.

My baby is an absolute gem. He is just the happiest little guy. I am also delighted to have him, in particular, and it is odd to try to square against an alternative life in which I would have had the other baby who didn't make it.

TMI - sorry!

I’m waiting for a call back from my bereavement midwife, but just wondered what other people’s experiences were in the mean time as I’m panicking and my brains spiralling (very anxious).

So my first period after my TFMR was more painful and heavier than normal but was told to expect that really.

I’ve just started my second period and have been passing tissue like clots. Kind of light brown beigey in colour? Most of them have been really tiny, but last night I passed one that was about an inch in length, half an inch in width.

I vaguely remember them telling me about clots when I was in hospital after giving birth but to be honest there was so much information I didn’t take everything in. Just wondering if it’s normal to have clots and is the colour, size normal?

(I tested negative on a pregnancy test 3 weeks after being in hospital)

@jt130593 The clots are normal in my experience, but I had heavy periods pre-TFMR.

Just a quick update on news from my hospital - I called up after my self-referral mentioning the note I’d read that said an NIPT may be offered after a TFMR and I was told the rules changed 2 months ago and they will now offer this. They said they’d normally suggest waiting until after the first dating scan at 11.5 weeks but my dating scan last time wasn’t until almost 14 weeks and I said I’d rather have it done as close to 10 weeks as possible.

They said they could arrange an early scan to confirm baby is at least 10 weeks and then give me the NIPT. Feeling slightly relieved although obviously extremely anxious about those results when they come.

It’s been a while since I have posted on this thread. It’s lovely to hear so many success stories.

I’m also sorry to see there are new posters as nobody wants to be a member of this club but I am glad they have found this group as I have gained a lot from the support on here and I am sure they will too.

Thank you for starting this thread @Downtherabbithole83 and I hope that you conceive successfully without trying and not putting yourself under any pressure. Good luck with the marathon too!

My TFMR was in January 2023 and we have been trying unsuccessfully since then. Yesterday we had our first IVF appointment and we will begin on my next cycle later this month. I’ll have my 42nd birthday next month so this feels like my last chance to ever have a child so I am hopeful. I know this is a TTC thread and I’m off to have IVF but I will keep you informed how I get on.

Wishing everyone the very best x

Has anyone ever used any vitamins when TTC specifically the proceive conception?
I’ve read a lot of positive reviews, but then there’s also a few that say it’s massively delayed their periods with some people having cycles of over 50 days! Just wondered if anyone has had any experience or whether I should just stick to boots folic acid and vitamin d?

@jt130593 I had a consultation with the people at Zita west and they have got me on a specific regime now. It's expensive but no side effects and doesn't change the cycle x

@jt130593 I recent read It Starts With The Egg which talks about lot about chromosomal abnormalities, and suggests this plan for recurrent loss (though it can take 3-6 months to kick in), plus a Mediterranean low glucose diet and avoiding BPA and phthalates as much as possible (goes into more detail why in the book)

Screenshot here from what I wrote out and posted on another thread 😊

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay there's a lot in the book about things to take and when leading up to IVF with all the research behind it - not sure what your timelines are but just thought I'd mention. Good luck on the next party of your journey! 🍀

Hi @jt130593

I was taking Her9 half heartedly before our TFMR pregnancy, so I started taking it properly after that. I liked that it had folate (rather than folic acid), omega, Vit D, basically so much more that all was really good for conception. Have a look at the breakdown of the ingredients.

https://her9.co.uk/pages/preconception

I was prescribed 5mg folic acid from my GP due to age and BMI over 30, I had been taking this prior to my first pregnancy too.

I added in 600mg of Ubiquinol for egg quality, I was only taking this for 2.5 months before I fell pregnant with our rainbow so I can't say if it made any difference but I felt it was worth a shot.

I am veggie and eat a tonne of veg, a very Mediterranean diet with wholegrains, nuts, legumes, pulses etc. As well as crisps, wine etc so not an angel but the base of my diet is good! I got my husband on daily walnuts as they are meant to be very good for sperm!

Thanks everyone! I’ll keep researching maybe. My cycle seems to have gone back to my regular so far (just had second period after TFMR) so really don’t want to take anything that’s going to throw that off!

Hi ladies, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on this thread but have been keeping up with you all. It’s been a long road since my TFMR last year, with a lot of health problems along the way!

I just started fertility talks with my GP to get other half’s semen analysis done so I knew everything, and at the end of the year I was ready to start private IVF because it’s been years for me TTC and im sick of it!!

however…. I think im going slightly mad…. Can anyone see these lines??????? Very very faint so prepare to squint. Don’t want to get my hopes up, im very fragile with TTC these days.

im 10dpo today and both these tests are early detection so 10ml sensitivity and both taken with FMU.

reason for testing, crazy amounts of white discharge over the last weekend and on 8dpo I had the most serve sharp pain on the left side of my lower stomach, it doubled me over it was that painful. Niggles there ever since but nothing ‘painful’. Anyway…. I think I could be pregnant? 😩🥹

I’ve played with some filters (seen other people to do previously) as apparently that confirms if it’s a line or an indent. The clearblue defo has a blue tinge to it and came up after 20-30 seconds

@MilkyAndFluffy I can see a faint blue line on the Clearblue test. For what it’s worth, I did a test at 13 DPO and it didn’t come up with a line so I thought I was out. I did another 4 days later and it appeared. 10 DPO is still very early to test and get a definitive result. For your own sanity (and bank balance) I’d maybe leave it a couple of days before testing again. Good luck, will keep my fingers crossed for a definitive positive!

@Rumbleinthecrumble thanks so much lovely. And thanks for sharing your BFP happening so much later on! My period is due the weekend so I’ll see if it turns up!