Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@Thornberry1 thanks so much for reaching out.

@MrsScotland glad to hear you’re still ticking along well.

I’ve not been able to see the GP yet - I’ve tried to get an appointment but it’s still the 8am lottery with them. I’m going in this week for a smear test with the nurse so I’m hoping I can ask her what she’d recommend and maybe speak to the receptionist and see if I can book an appointment in advance.

I’ve tried to do research on whether they’ll prescribe Clomid at my age and can’t get a definitive answer. It seems not, and I wonder if I’ll get the same issues with going private. One of the concerns is that it is not effective after 40, another is that it is more likely to lead to a multiples pregnancy which they’d want to avoid.

I’m on cycle 3 CD11, been doing OPKs every day of this cycle to understand my baseline, and been temping every day too. Have had some CM today and yesterday which may be a good sign. I’m just hoping the previous 2 cycles were acting as a reset and things get back to normal.

Being able to try for a baby again is all I’m really after at this point. The bar is literally so low right now!

@MrsScotland It will! I’m hanging to all hope! Not waiting on any further apps or info from hospital. Amnio fluid was tested further for anything else and if condition was generic and all was fine. I have the easy@home ovulation strips I used the past 2 months but have only just now downloaded the pre mom app to track them. I also ised to use Natural Cycles so still have the thermometer so going to start measuirng BBT when I first wake in mornings and log on pre mom app too. Been taking the NHS folic acid with vitamins c and d since July 2023 and midwife said to just keep them going so have continued. I’m so pleased for you and can’t wait to hopefully join you on the journey soon! ❤️

If anyone has any more advice or tips keep them coming! ✨

Update from me, our 7 week scan yesterday was great. I can't tell you how well supported we've been from the lovely Screening Midwife who took us through all our options etc last time. We met her yesterday at the EPU, and took us through to a separate waiting area away from all the couples waiting for their scans. Then she came in with us during our scan, along with a student midwife, and they had told the Sonographer our history so everyone was so supportive and lovely. Our Midwife said 'Awwh there's your wee prawn' on the screen - it does look like a prawn at this stage! I was measuring 2 days ahead so that's all good, and everything is looking as expected at this stage.

We were then taken into the counselling room (although we were asked if we were ok to go in there as we'd been in there with our TFMR, very considerate) and we discussed next steps. I like a plan. I am going to have another scan at 10 weeks and if I am measuring the right gestation I will have the NIPT. We can have a CVS if we want, regardless of the NIPT results. I'm totally undecided on that as yet, because it does carry a very small risk of miscarriage.

This morning I'm feeling my worst yet, was nearly sick when I opened the fridge to prep my packed breakfast and lunch for work! Finding it pretty hard to get up and out the house on time. I am going to bed so early, like 9pm, and then wakening up about 5am.

@MrsScotland that's wonderful, so glad you had a positive scan and good experience at your hospital. What a relief! It does sound as if they have been hugely supportive with the offer of extra scans.

We have a scan with a fetal medicine consultant on Friday at just over 9 weeks. It was supposed to be 10 but the consultant is on holiday that week. I don't think she will be able to tell us anything about the nuchal measurements at this stage (which is where it all went wrong last time) but hopefully if anything untoward is seen then she will be able to say.

Feeling much more nervous as I get further along now. I have all these wishes and plans for this pregnancy and baby and feel so nervous of it all going wrong again. Only time will tell!

That sounds like a really great experience @MrsScotland so glad to hear of somewhere getting it right.

In contrast I was refused any sort of early scan or the NIPT on the NHS, and when I went to my 12 week scan my blood pressure was high - I said well it’s due to being very nervous after my TFMR, they didn’t even acknowledge it that I’d said that.

Couldn’t look at the scan and explained why, still no real acknowledgement. I felt very ignored and am looking to move hospitals.

Oh @BlackThumb I am so sorry your hospital have not been very considerate. Did you have a particular point of contact who gave you your options etc last time? I was supported by the Screening Midwife, and then she came to see us after we had our follow up and post mortem results with a Consultant about 8 weeks. They both told me to contact the midwife as soon as I found out I was pregnant again and they would arrange the extra appointments.

What was the reason for your TFMR, if you don't mind me asking? I feel a bit frustrated with the differences across different NHS areas and their approaches to NIPT. In my area you are offered it if your CUB screening (NT measurement, PAPP-A and HCG) come back with a risk ratio of less than 1 in 150. Which seems a very reasonable way to do it, as I appreciate it's an expensive test.

I really hope you can get the care you need and deserve, never be afraid to advocate for yourself. Perhaps you could call the EPU of an alternative hospital, explain your situation and ask if they could provide more care and reassurance for you given the circumstances?

I was told that I would not be offered the NIPT at 10 weeks if I got pregnant again, and would have to go private if I wanted that. Nor would they provide any early reassurance scans unless there was a valid reason e.g. suspected miscarriage. I’d just have to follow the normal screening process.

Sadly it is a complete postcode lottery for the way certain things are handled. I wouldn’t have the option of trying another hospital as there would not be one in a reasonable distance from my home.

In other better news, I have ovulated this cycle which made me burst into happy tears having been so stressed. It was 4 days earlier than usual, although obviously I haven’t returned to my normal cycle length since the TFMR in November so no idea what my new normal will be. At this point I may as well have shares in the Easy@Home test strips 😆

I’m starting to get period-like symptoms so pretty sure we’re out this month, but can cope with it better knowing at least we’re able to try.

@Rumbleinthecrumble great news about ovulation. I hope that it continues for you. Are you doing BBT now?

I am so sorry to hear your hospital hasn't been supportive either, just not fair.

@MrsScotland Yes, I’ve been doing the BBT as well. Throwing everything at it. Looking into acupuncture locally too.

Morning, how is everyone doing? @Rumbleinthecrumble sounds very positive that you started ovulating again! My cycle took 4 months to return to normal and although I think I was ovulating during that time, it was quite late in my cycle and I was experiencing very heavy periods and breakthrough bleeding between periods and around ovulation. That all suddenly stopped and my cycle returned to normal and I conceived. Very much hope you have a similar experience.

@MrsScotland how are you doing? We had our scan with fetal medicine at 9 weeks last week which was all fine, although I think it was really for reassurance as it was too early to see any detail. The consultant said she would happily see me again at 16 weeks if I feel I need it. 12 week scan is now booked for two weeks time and I feel my anxiety creeping up daily.

Morning ladies

Well I've made it to 10 weeks and have a scan and NIPT today, all being well. I have absolute fear of going and there's no heartbeat, I don't know whether to not look at the screen until they tell me?

How is everyone else getting on?

Good luck @MrsScotland. I did ask them at my 12 week to check first if there was a heartbeat before showing me. I really hope it goes well. They also took me straight for the scan first - rather than hanging around with bloods, other questions etc.

Good luck @MrsScotland! Sending positive thoughts and good wishes your way. Been a bit confused by easy@home tests vs. Clear Blue. Got a peak (dye stealer) on the test strips yesterday morning but still empty circle on CB. Had a high reading but not peak on the strips this morning but a static smiley on the CB. Everything I’ve read suggests it would be the other way round.

I really hate TTC, POS and driving myself round the bend on Dr. Google 😂 At least I seem to be ovulating again.

Hi Crumble

Ahh I am bamboozled by the smiley face tests! I just stuck to the strips! Remember I said I had a LH peak, but then my temp didn't confirm ovulation, and then it happened again two days later? There's a possibility something liek that could be going on? I found once I was tuned into it, the ovulation cramps and bloating were unmistakeable! Oh so sexy, the bloat, I'd feel like I would pop with a pin!

Good news at my scan today, everything measuring as it should and baby did a little stretch and kicks for us! What a relief! I also asked her to look at the NT even though it's a week or so too early to officially measure it. It was 0.9mm, oh so different to the 8mm it was in our T18 baby. A week to wait now for the NIPT results, I am so hopeful this will be our time 💛

Brilliant news @MrsScotland it must have been such a relief. Great to see baby moving around too. Good luck for the NIPT results, it’s all sounding positive x

@MrsScotland so glad things are looking more positive for you this time around. I hope you're managing to enjoy it.

We had our 12 week scan last week and everything is looking great and had the screening results back already - all low risk. We'll have another scan with fetal medicine at 16 weeks and then onto the 20 week scan as normal after that, fingers crossed we get there.

Best of luck to everyone trying and everyone pregnant, it's a tough road!

Hey,
just hoping that I can jump on this thread. I had a TFMR on 14/03/2024. Just recently finished my first period and so we are going to TTC this cycle.
My TFMR was my first pregnancy. I’m funding it really tough to stay positive, and feel like that was our one chance to have a baby
Just wanting to speak to people to understand what I’ve been through and how I might be feeling

Hi JT
Firstly I am so sorry you find yourself here. I felt the same, I was 39 the month after the tfmr, it had taken us 18 months to conceive and I was worried it wouldn’t happen again.

It is good your period has come back ok. It was 5 weeks exactly for me and then we started trying. It took 4 cycles, by then I was starting to panic a wee bit but then it happened! I am due on my 40th birthday, scraping on in there!

Are you taking any supplements, or doing ovulations tests etc?

*

An update from me. I’m now almost 12 weeks and our NIPT came back low risk which was such a relief - I was so worried it would be T21 this time. Still don’t feel out the woods yet but all good progress

@jt130593 I can totally realte! I had a TFMR 15/12/2023 at 17 weeks. My first pregnacy too. We just got married in September so everything was like a dream until it wasn’t. It is such a hard thing to go through but it’s given me a strength I never knew I had! At 25 years old it felt like my world had been turned upside down, I absolutely did not think it would happen to me and I really really struggled with it mentally! I turned 26 last month and my mind is saying ‘I wonder if I’ll have a baby this year’. The negative tests and period starting last cycle knocked me as that almost confirmed we won’t have a 2024 baby, and now approaching what would of been babies due date next month I can feel emotions heightening again. Every day is different, feelings each day are different but i’m not losing hope! My advice is to let it out and don’t bottle it all up! My 1st period came 4 weeks to the date after TFMR then we started trying again, and now on our 4th month trying. I get really frustrated as we conceived first try last time and feel like i’m beating myself up because it’s not happened again yet, but trying to think about the blessing we’ll feel when it does happen and that my body will know when the right time is. My periods each month have been like clockwork so it’s good to know my cycles have went back to normal. This thread has held me together and kept me going reading everyones stories and i’m sure it will help you too. It’s good to know your not the only one and the support is there! We’ll get those babies! 🌈✨

@jt130593 @erinnn0420 i couldn’t have written what you wrote better myself everything you said is exactly how l feel!! I’m sorry you find yourself here JT and for what you have been through, I lost my first pregnancy at 27 weeks in January and like Erin it has given me strength I never knew I had, brought my husband and I closer together and I tell myself if I can get get through this I can do anything. I still struggle a lot at times and find myself crying most days but there are also good moments in there and I try to think of a happy future and cling on to hope. I miss my daughter more than anything and after giving birth to her it made me realise more than ever that I wanted to be a mother to a living child.
This is my second month of TTC and my period is late but all negative tests so I think my body is still adjusting and I won’t lie I do find it pretty tough the negative tests but we’ve been through the worst already we can do this! My counsellor tried to tell me it’s my bodies way of telling me I’m not ready - not sure I fully take that on board but I try! My biggest fear is not falling pregnant again, I’m 34 have PCOS but we need to cling on to that hope. You’ve been through a horrible journey but there will be a brighter future and your little angel will guide you :) these boards are so helpful, I don’t usually comment but even find reading others peoples posts so helpful!

@MrsScotland @erinnn0420 @Pickled24

thank you for your responses, it’s nice to talk to people who have been through the same thing because I’ve kind of felt I don’t fit anywhere else in the baby loss community.

With our last pregnancy I came off the pill in Dec 22 and I tracked my cycles on the flo app just going off my body and my symptoms and it gave me a really accurate indication of timings. We had the discussion start of Dec 23 to stop avoiding my fertile days and just seeing what happened, as most people we knew it had taken them a few months to conceive. We were so extremely fortunate that we fell pregnant that first month! I don’t want to upset anyone by saying that I know some people have a really tough time, and we both felt so so lucky it happened that way.

I’ve never tracked with sticks before, but I bought some of the clear blue advanced sticks more so because I just wanted some indication that my body was back to “normal” and to have things to input in my app. My period came back 4 weeks to the day of my TFMR, and the last 4 days I’ve had the flashing smiley on the ovulation sticks. I don’t want to get obsessed with the testing as I feel like that will stress me out, but I’m glad I’ve found my high fertility and that matches with the app as well so we will see.

My period was a bit odd I had cramps and spotting for 4 days before I fully came on. And then afterwards I’ve had cramps and odd spotting as well which I’ve never had before. So I’m not convinced that we will fall this month because of that, but we are giving it a go anyway!

After my TFMR I just kept taking the prenatals I was on. I’ll be honest I’m really new to all of this, not having any issues conceiving the first time round I was quite naive to all of it and so don’t really know what supplements etc are recommended. So if anyone has any tried and tested I’d be open to some suggestions!
@MrsScotland congratulations on your pregnancy and your NIPT results! I hope you continue to have a healthy pregnancy 🌈

Hi JT

dont worry about upsetting anyone, we’ve all been through the pain of losing a much wanted baby. I hope this is a really
good sign for you and you will be pregnant again soon. A lot of us feel the same, TTC again became the main focus.

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you and what was the reason for your TFMR?

I was already taking a higher dose folic acid from the GP as I am older and have a BMI of over 30. They also recommend it if you have had a neural tube defect like spina bifida or
any Family history of it.

I also take a pre/during/post natal women’s supplement called Her9. I liked it because it had Vit D (also recommended by the NHS), choline, folate and Omega 3 amongst other things. Omega is meant to be really
important for baby’s brain.

Finally I started taking Ubiquinol after the TFMR as it is meant to help with egg quality.

i liked ovulation sticks too but tbh we tried to just have sex every other day from day 11 of my cycle.

@MrsScotland
i’m 31 next month!

We went to our 12 week scan and were told that our babies arms had not developed past the elbows, at that stage it was too early to know whether there was another issues. But we were told that it could be linked to other defects/abnormalities.

We had a further scan at 16 weeks and we found out that our baby had really complex heart abnormalities. We had testing done and there was nothing found that would account for the abnormalities and were told it was just one of those things.
I did have what looked like an amniotic band and also had a single umbilical artery which can impact babies development. But we were told that we would never know if these contributed. It’s great to know that it wasn’t something genetic that we could pass on again if we were to conceive, but I’ve found not having any explanation quite hard. I feel like I would be able to accept it more if there was a reason, I’ve felt quite angry. Why me, and why my baby?

I was taking the Pregnacare plus so I’ve just carried on taking them. But will look into ubiquinol!

Yeah I’m not going to use the sticks everyday I don’t think I don’t want to get stressed over them. I just wanted to get an idea of what my cycle was like after the TFMR, I felt like I knew my body and my cycle so well pre TFMR after being on the pill for so long!

Since getting the high reading we are just going to try to have sex every other day for the next week or so!

@jt130593 try and be kind to yourself also, the first tries of TTC after such a loss are hard (I know I’m only on try 2) but it does bring up a lot of emotion. Maybe some advice or maybe not but I am trying to focus on eating good again (I did gain a bit carrying for 27 weeks) back to exercise and lots of vitamins I also take ubiqnol alongside vitamin D, C, folic acid, and fish oil (also take inofolic alpha for pcos) that way at least we can make ourselves feel better whilst back on this journey! Stay hopeful that’s what I am trying to do but praying I fall pregnant soon - do you know how your care will be managed going forward? I found that useful to know before starting TTC again and we will be under the care of fetal medicine for the whole duration and scanned every 4 weeks but for me just knowing what it would all look like helped a bit of the unknown! Sorry if I’m rambling xx

@Pickled24
thank you. Yeah I have tried to keep up with the vitamins, eating well and a bit of exercise. I’ve found exercising especially going out for walks on the brighter days has really helped me mentally after the loss.
I think I’m going to try the ubiquinol, where do you get yours from?
im trying not to put pressure on it as see so much about people saying they haven’t fallen, then as soon as the pressure is off they fall. I’m trying to look at it like my body has been through a lot and I will fall again when it’s ready. I just see so much of people saying you are more fertile after a birth, not sure how true that is!
This is something I spoke to our fetal medicine consultant about, I know that pregnancy after loss is going to be so difficult mentally so wanted to know what to expect care wise. We were told we would start off under fetal medicine, would have extra scans etc up until they can see that everything is developing as it should. Once they are confident there are no issues we were told it is likely we would be discharged from fetal medicine and our care would revert to any “standard” pregnancy. I think I’ll probably end up paying for private scans after that to try and ease any anxiety!