Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@Downtherabbithole83 those lines look pretty good to me, though I fully appreciate your concerns. I was slow to get a good line with DD and her condition was one with relatively low HCG. But your lines are better than mine were with her.

Do you have a bereavement midwife or other contact with the hospital so you could perhaps ask for a blood test to see if levels are progressing as they should? It’s probably still a bit early to see much on a scan, I imagine.

@Vic231 I’m sorry I didn’t reply before - I couldn’t remember if I had day 3 tests or not - probably did, as I think I had most! Have to admit that I never stopped TTC though…! How are you getting on?

Ah thanks for taking the time to reply @Dinosaurus86 - the colour of line isn’t as much of a concern to me as the lack of progression is… almost no change at all over 48 and then 96 hours.

It’s because of that that I’m realistically waiting to miscarry… I feel like if it’s not viable that would be the best way for it to go and sooner rather than later ideally. However, I did contact the doctor on Friday when I was concerned it looked like another chemical and they’ve booked me in for blood tests at the beginning of November so if it’s hanging on in there, at least that’s a step towards getting some answers.

I love how this group is still going - when I started it, I couldn’t find anything similar on mumsnet and when I mentioned tfmr people tended to ignore my comments. It’s been such a good support for me and so many others! Thanks everyone!

Hey all, I'm still here lurking in the background. My username changed but I posted back in March/April after my own TFMR. Still not a sniff of a positive test. In the meantime, I've turned 40 and bang on started getting peri symptoms which is making we worry that I will never get my baby or family. Around me everyone has continued to get pregnant including my co-manager who I get to watch grow and go on maternity leave whilst I am still here growing ever more sad and bitter.
It's a shit journey and as always, I am sorry we are all on it.

Sorry you’re having such a rubbish time @giadaros - have you seen the GP about your peri symptoms?

I was going to say the same re. your tests @Downtherabbithole83 I think they look good, but totally understand protecting yourself with caution. Hopefully the blood tests tell you more - can’t believe it’s nearly November - due date month for me 💔 Got everything crossed for you.

Soo grateful this thread does exist. Haven’t found anywhere else where people just get it.

Thanks @Thornberry1 - pretty sure AF has just started to arrive but I guess it’s good to know it’s possible 🤷‍♀️

Hope November isn’t too awful for you - personally I found it a relief to move past the due date. Felt I could move on properly which I found comforting.

I have an appointment on Tuesday morning with my GP, hoping to get some oestrogen cream for down below as the itching has been driving me insane! That's my main symptom. My periods are still regular which gives me some hope but the thought of my oestrogen levels dropping is scary. I don't feel anywhere near ready for this stage of life when I am still just trying to get a healthy pregnancy. It all seemed so hopeful at 37 when I was starting this journey but at 40 with 2 miscarriages and a TFMR it feels very heavy.

I am also very grateful for this thread. I am so sorry we all had to face this but it's a comfort to know I am not alone.
My due date was last month. The lead up to it was hideous but I'm not sure I feel much better. Now I just keep thinking that I should have a newborn...

@giadaros that sounds really difficult - hopefully the cream will provide you some relief! Do you use opks or anything like that to give you an idea of whether you are ovulating as and when you’d expect?

Due dates really are a hard one. I’m currently on holiday and your post made me realise without the tfmr we’d have a 5 month old now and definitely not be here… it’s more of a weird thought than an upsetting one though!

Hey ladies, I have spent the last week reading this entire thread and feel so grateful to have found it. I’m so sorry you are all here and have experienced TFMR 😢we lost our little boy on 23rd August at 15 weeks. It’s been a long recovery for me after having some big bleeds and finding retained tissue/needing iron infusions. I’ve wanted to start trying to conceive again, so tracked our ovulation over this last month and DTD during when we got a positive test (last weekend).
Annoyingly I’ve been spotting all through ovulation and my two week wait so I’m not sure how likely it is to be able to conceive as I’m guessing my body isn’t quite healed yet. The GP doesn’t seem too bothered that I’m still spotting, but I’m nervous something is wrong as it’s every single day. It is brown/pink blood. I’ve had some swabs taken to rule out infection.

congrats to all you ladies that have gotten BFP’s, I’ve been cheering you all along silently as I read the thread. You give me so much hope. Our little boy was my first (partner has a daughter from previous relationship) but she was unplanned so it was his first planned baby. It hurts not having a living baby.

I just wondered, is anyone on here still on the TTC journey?

Sending you all so much love x x x x

Hey @Downtherabbithole83 , how are you getting on?

I think a few of us here are still ttc @MilkyAndFluffy - so sorry you are here too. I am lucky enough to have a living DS, but we had fertility problems having him, so I am not sure how ttc will go for us. I got pregnant surprisingly quickly with our DD we tfmr but my cycles have been weird since and this is the first month I haven’t spotted around ovulation, so fingers crossed. I’m just entering the two week wait again. I think I was still spotting generally at about your time post tfmr too (ours was early July).

@Dinosaurus86 thanks for your reply lovely. It’s nice to know I’m not alone on this journey; but I’m also sad you haven’t had got your positive yet - I have everything crossed for you. I’m hoping you’ve had all your bad luck between fertility issues with baby number 1, and a TFMR with number 2. I hope you fall with a healthy baby very soon 🙌can I be cheeky and ask what your method is? Are you using OPK’s or temp monitoring or just looking out for EWCM etc

You sound a week behind me at the moment, I ovulated last week so currently 6dpo (it feels like it’s been forever , I haven’t missed the TWW). What are you plans for testing etc?

thanks for sharing about spotting during ovulation, it’s good to know it is a thing after what we’ve been through and I’m hoping it’ll settle for me in the next few cycles like yours did xx

Hi @Dinosaurus86 - started bleeding properly today which to be honest is a bit of a relief. I’ll message the GP again tomorrow as I’ve let him know about met concerns regarding not being able to hold onto any pregnancies though I’m very aware this might be an egg quality issue rather than a physical one with me! Blood test still booked for Thursday and I think he still wants me to go to that.

So yes, I’m still on that TTC journey too @MilkyAndFluffy. It’ll be a year since my tfmr this November - caught three times definitely but we don’t seem able to get past 5 or 6 weeks. I’m fortunate to have two living daughters (with my ex) and a step-daughter but we really want a child together… we have started having the conversations about when do we admit defeat and stop trying (I’m 40 and he’s 41) but we’re not quite ready to do that yet!

Hi @MilkyAndFluffy so sorry you are here but please don't feel alone as we have all been in the same horrendous boat. I am still TTC but it hasn't been easy. TFMR dec last year at 25 weeks, then 2 losses around 5 weeks since. I don't have any living children and other and some days it feels like a living nightmare, but I'm trying to also remain positive!! X

Sorry @Dinosaurus86 I missed this before! All my tests have come back normal so we are cracking on! Have a consultant appointment early next year to discuss the results but we've been told they are all within the early range x

Hi @MilkyAndFluffy
I'm so sorry you've found yourself here. My little
Girl was born in June at 16 weeks. I'm on my third cycle since my period restarted but this was the first month I ovulated. I had a chemical pregnancy this week but I'm okay, just glad everything is going back to normal.
I've had a really tough week this week, thinking about my little girl a lot. I've been up and down since it happened.
Please be kind to yourself and try not to put too much pressure on xxx

Hi @Downtherabbithole83 - how are things? Have you had your blood test?

@Vic231 good news about the tests! Have you had scans etc too, or just bloods? (Only asking because my bloods previously were normal but I had an issue picked up on a scan).

@oneweecraw so sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy. I’ve been thinking about our little girl a lot more again too, as the due date approaches. It is hard.

@MilkyAndFluffy any signs of a bfp yet this month? It’s too early still for me to test. I’ve also been avoiding it. Caved last month when several days late but I find it really distressing to see a negative test when I should still be pregnant with my DD. My method currently is just to “relax” (ha!) - I do look out for ewcm but I decided not to go back to opks etc until after our due date, which is December.

@Dinosaurus86 thank you! I've had a lot of scans where they have checked my ovaries and said they couldn't see any cysts and lots of follicles but no specific scans (if that even makes sense?!). And I carried to 25 weeks with our little girl. What was the scan where they spotted something (if you don't mind me asking!) x

Hi @Dinosaurus86 - I had my blood test today so hopefully will see results tomorrow. I am coming to the end of AF/loss bleeding but my test lines are still the same… not even slightly lighter. I’m both mildly concerned (worried about ectopic…) and frustrated (just want to get onto next cycle and try again) but otherwise I’m okay!

How are you doing? The tww is just the worst…

@Downtherabbithole83 im so sorry to hear you have had struggles getting past week 5/6 mark, i have my fingers crossed your blood test results come back with something that explains it but is easily fixed so they can prescribe you something to give you some hope. completely understand you and your other half wanting a child together, and what a difficult thought to even had to consider the conversation of it never happening or giving up - i really hope there is a way around it for you without it coming to that 🙏do you have any indication when you will get your results back??

@Vic231 you are right, im so sad we are all here, but its such a support to have this forum with people who understand every emotion. so sorry to hear about all your losses, im sending you so much baby dust!!! how are you getting on this month? its so hard to stay positive when there is so much negative thats happened, and not having a living baby is difficult, but we have to cling on to the hope that one day we will bring a little bundle of joy home. i can totally relate to your emotions, its harder some days more than others.

@oneweecraw im so sorry to hear about your little girl, and im sorry you have had a chemical pregnancy this month. your body is trying which is amazing and im praying and have everything crossed that this is your month. how frustrating you had to wait 3 months to ovulate - i bet that was a long wait, but im glad you now are and can hopefully get cracking this month! I wish there was something i could do to help with your wobbly week, but i have them too. from everything ive read and who ive spoken to, being up and down is normal. parents arent supposed to lose their babies, the world doesnt prepare us for that so sometimes it feels like a big slap in the face all over again! feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about her, or cry. it helps me to speak about my little boy, but everyone else in my 'real world' seems to have moved on because they arent stuck in the grief. i hope you have a good support system to help you through the tougher days/weeks.

@Dinosaurus86 no BFP this month for me, i was greeted with AF 3 days ago, pretty heavy and clotty so im a little nervous. i think after all the bleeding issues ive had the last 11 weeks and retained tissue, heavy amounts of blood really make me scared now. especially because im scared to go back very aneamic as it made me feel really poorly. i never had heavy periods prior to my pregnancy so this is a big difference for me, i just hope everything is going to be ok. its soooo easy to cave when waiting to test in the TWW, its such a long time to wait!! have you caved yet or are you holding out? i found it easier to not even have tests in the house so even if i got tempted i wasnt able to, but it does take some serious will power haha!! great idea to take the relaxed approach, i have everything crossed its paid off for you! when is your AF due (ish)?

@Downtherabbithole83 sorry have just seen your last message that you get the results today hopefully??

hmm was your bleed later than your normal period was due by much? it does sometimes take up to 2 weeks to get the HCG levels out of your system following a loss. so sorry you have this added stress, when all you want is to get back on track. i dont really know what to suggest other than potentially calling the EPAC and asking for a scan to see whats going on? its not what you need though... sending you love

So after ovulating on day 19 (late for me as i always had 27 day cycles and ovulated on day 13/14), my AF arrived on day 29 (so i had a 28 day cycle) which i was shocked about as i was expecting a later AF due to the later ovulation. I had been spotting pink/brown blood everyday since the last period and through ovulation / TWW so i was nervous that things werent back to normal. My GP did some swabs for infection, came back that i have thrush so had the tablet to try and sort that out! Not sure if that could be the cause of the spotting though.... So I got in touch with my bereavement midwife who booked me in for an ultrasound. That was yesterday, they said they could see something on the scan but they arent sure if its a blood clot because im now on my period, or retained tissue from the TFMR. They said its smaller than 2cm (maybe like 1.5cm ish) but they couldnt be certain which it was. They have offered me a hysteroscopy within the next 6 weeks to have a look properly as what it is and if it is tissue, remove it.

Has anyone had a hysteroscopy before? Im really terrible with pain and really nervous about it, but also just want to get back on track to TTC. I would love any opinions or feedback / thoughts on the procedure if anyone has had one - an honest one so i know what im in for! Im praying that when this heavy period finishes, ill not have any more spotting and that should mean things have cleared up but i dont think ill be that lucky (negative nelly). Sorry for the giant messages ladies, but i just needed to get it all out of my head somewhere!!!

@MilkyAndFluffy haven’t had my results yet but the line on my test today FINALLY looks a bit lighter. I also stopped bleeding today so hoping we’ll soon be in a position to try again.

Sorry for what you’re going through. I have no experience of a hysteroscopy but I’m sure someone on here will have…

@Vic231 I had a uterine polyp suspected on an ultrasound but had to have another dye procedure to look at it properly (the one where they also check your tubes). My dr thought it was creating a hostile environment and stopping the lining from thickening properly. But at that point I wasn’t getting pregnant at all, so I’m sure that’s not an issue for you. Fingers crossed it will happen soon. I’ve been trying to up my supplements.

@MilkyAndFluffy I had a hysteroscopy with biopsy to remove the polyp. I will be honest: for me it was bad. I had it privately (to get it done quickly) and I couldn’t afford to have it under general. If there’s any chance of a general then I’d say take it. But it’s not bad for everyone. Maybe mine was worse because it was right at the top of the uterus so they had to go all the way in. They were kind but I found it traumatic, but I felt it was my only chance of having a baby. And I did then get pregnant the following month and that was my living DS. My worry now is that it will grow back - which happens. I’ll probably go back to my original doctor again in a few months if I still don’t get pregnant again. Very sorry for your AF - my first couple after the tfmr were scarily heavy but they’re back to normal now. I’m still in the 2ww. I don’t think I’ll consider testing until next Friday/Saturday.