Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Hi. I just found this thread a couple of weeks ago - I had a TFMR at 23 weeks in August. Feel pretty desperate to get pregnant again, which I feel weird about but I think is common. I’ve found this thread really useful & hopeful too. Still waiting for my first period at the moment.

Hi @FairyPools89 and very sorry you find yourself here too. I understand the conflicting feelings. We had our little girl tfmr in early July. The visceral need I felt to be pregnant again has worn off to some extent, but returns when I’ve had a period, so I think ttc is the right thing for us. I hope you get through this first cycle soon. Mine was quicker to return than I’d expected - about 5 weeks.

It’s 4 weeks today for me so hoping it’ll return soon 🤞Such a bizarre mix of feelings. Thank you for your reply - finding this thread has helped me to feel a bit less alone in it all!

How are you getting on @FairyPools89? Have you joined the Arc forum? I haven’t posted much there but have spent a long time (probably far too long) reading all the threads. I find it sort of comforting to read about others in the same situation.

Hi everyone, I hope you are all ok? A bit of a ramble incoming...

I had quite a moment this afternoon. About this time last year (when I was about 14 weeks pregnant) I went to an event with my
Husband and met this lady who was a friend of a friend. Fast forward to today and this afternoon we went along again... I was greeted by her and her now 6 week old baby. I just couldn't believe it. She wasn't pregnant when I first met her and there she was today with a baby and I still don't have a living baby 😔 I can't quite get my head around it, it feels like the longest time ever has passed but also no time at all.

I'm whippeywhippet btw after a username change x

Yep I’m nearly two years on from my TFMR, two rounds of IVF, months of natural trying and absolutely nothing.

Keep being told IVF might work the next time… not sure what they’re basing that on.

However, everyone, everyone else that I know who’s had any issues has all had their miracles and all happy and fine. So you’ll likely be one of those!

Totally get how you feel @Vic231 That must have been really hard.

I was trying to explain this feeling to someone yesterday. It's like when you put a destination into your SatNav and it says - this will take 2hrs and you'll arrive at 5pm. But you suddenly hit stand-still traffic and you're not moving. Time to destination is stuck on 2hrs but somehow it's 6pm then 7pm then 8pm, but you still have 2 hrs to travel. And everyone else is in the fast lane and arriving on time.

Hopefully that lady knows how lucky she is and we'll all get our luck soon. Where are you at at the moment? Are you tracking / trying naturally?

I've just found out I have pcos, so now a little roadblock to add to my analogy!

Oh @BlackThumb that's so tough. Doesn't mean it can't be you either. I really hope it happens for you when you least expect it!

@Thornberry1 how weird you were only talking about it yesterday! But I love your analogy, that's such a good way of putting it and it really helped me reading that and knowing others feel the same. Well after my TFMR we waited 5 months to try again and then I've had two early losses since June. The EPU have booked me in for bloods this week so will see if there are any answers from that. Apparently answers come quite quickly but then it's quite a wait for the consultant. Once the bloods are done and if there's nothing obviously wrong then we will start trying again. The EPU have said I can be on progesterone from the off with a future pregnancy.

I've also been following 'it starts with the egg' and taking the recommended supplements and following some of the advice from there.

I really like that analogy @Thornberry1 . I am lucky I do have a living child. It's like we've already been to that destination once and it was fab and we'd like to go again but somehow we're now stuck trying to get there, or you get half way down the road and you suddenly get turned around and have to start the journey all over again which just seems so unfair.

Also @Vic231 I know that feeling. Bumped into someone I've not seen in ages who was surprisingly pregnant with her second baby. I actually shamefully made some crap excuse in the supermarket about being in a rush and just got away from her because I didn't think I could actually hold a conversation with her. And I do recognize how unbelievably lucky I am to already have a child, but it still stung a lot. I was also weirdly quite angry at her about it (in my mind not out loud) and it's very unfair of me as it's not like it was her fault.

Hey guys! Hope everyone's doing ok this week.

I joined the Arc forum last week and got such a lovely email from them. They also recommended a podcast (Time to Talk TFMR) and I've found it sooo helpful. A lot of you may have already listened but thought I would share just in case.

They've got episodes on TTC and loads of other areas / emotions of TFMR, and some specifically for dads too. Think it's helped me to realise a lot of things. Linking here on Spotify but you can get on any podcast app I think:

Also (maybe this is weird / random and feel free to ignore) but I've got a little playlist I've been adding to and thought I would share some favourites..

For a proper cry - Bigger Than the Whole Sky (Taylor Swift)
For a pick me up - Surviving (Bastille)
For a shake out - Pursuit of Happiness (Kid Cudi)

Thanks @Thornberry1, I’m on the arc Forum too (it seems fairly quiet but I’ve been working my way through reading all the old threads. Not that I’m obsessive or anything…) but haven’t listened to that podcast. Will add it to my list. Currently I’ve been working through the tfmr ones in the worst girl gang ever podcast, which I also find fairly helpful. Am in the two week wait at present so need distractions!

@Thornberry1 totally agree about @timetotalktfmr. It's an incredible resource and such a comfort to hear other women describe what we've been through x

Hi everyone, just here to vent. Currently about 3 days late. I have a fear of pregnancy tests since the tfmr. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing a negative one, although obviously logically I do know I’m no longer pregnant. Anyway, bit the bullet earlier and got a negative so now feeling very blue. I guess it’s just a wonky cycle.

Oh @Dinosaurus86 I'm so sorry. That's so hard. Do you have anything nice planned or a box set to watch to distract yourself?

I also feel like a rant 😂 I'm waiting on my second lot of bloods to be taken at the end of the month during my period and we have been told to not TTC whilst we wait for the tests (obviously skewed if you're pregnant!). I'm obviously very grateful to have the tests but there's something about TTC that brings me a bit of hope and knowing that we are preventing it, makes me feel a bit down x

@oneweecraw I also realise I never checked in with you to ask how your consultant appointment went? I'm so sorry!

Sorry to hear that @Vic231 - can totally understand. Since losing DD, I can’t (emotionally) bear to dtd with protection, so have just avoided when necessary. Probably not the healthiest approach!

Are your bloods the day 21 progesterone or something else (Sorry I’m sure you’ve explained upthread, I have a brain like a sieve)?

If I’m honest, I’ve just been moping rather than doing anything nice or constructive. Harumph.

How's everyone doing this week? Sending love ❤

I start my first round of clomid on my next cycle (hopefully a couple of weeks' time) - up and down between anxious and hopeful..

@Dinosaurus86 I've had bloods done for thyroid, clotting etc and I'm waiting on cycle day 3 tests. Do you (or anyone else) know what this does or doesn't show? I've been told not to be pregnant when you have them done to show a baseline, like I mentioned before DH and I were refraining from DTD for this reason, until last week 🤦🏻‍♀️ then when I opened my flo app (which I'd been having a few cycles off of whilst we wait so as not to obsess) we only DTD right on ovulation day! So im back in the TWW again.

Just a bit worried that if I am pregnant this cycle (which feels a bit slim, but I guess it only takes once!) then I might miss finding out something that allows me to support the pregnancy to finally bring a baby home - if that's makes sense? So if anyone knows anything about the cycle day 3 tests I would be appreciative.

What will be will be, is what I've been telling myself and either outcome will be good, I'll either be pregnant or having blood tests to move forward on my journey x

I’m gutted we were told last week that my DH’s sperm count is very low and IVF is our only realistic option as I also have low eggs and cysts on my ovaries. Trouble is I wasn’t able to work much following the TFMR and we went through our savings. It just all seems so unfair.

Hi all, hope everyone is okay. Thought I’d update you all on my current situation as I’ve got BFPs again this month (2nd time in 3 months, 3rd time since Feb) and AF is currently a week late but as you can see from the pics, line isn’t progressing at all (but also doesn’t seem to be fading much either like it did quickly with previous chemicals). It’s obviously a non-viable pregnancy and hoping it sorts itself soon as I’ve got little questions about it possibly being ectopic…

This never happened before my tfmr - previous pregnancies were a strong positive and then no issues holding on to them. I just don’t understand why everything seems different since the tfmr. It’s making me worried that all my eggs are now going to have chromosomal issues as I know this is a common reason for chemical/early miscarriages.

Just needed to vent really…

How are you doing @Downtherabbithole83? Did you test again yesterday and today? Everything could be fine! Really hope it is. Did your GP / hospital say they'd offer you early scans for the next time you're pregnant? Mine said they would do at 6 weeks, so maybe try to get some reassurance / answers if it's a possibility? Even if it's not progressed enough to see much, they'll be able to rule out ectopic hopefully🙏

Hi @Thornberry1 - I haven’t taken a test today because we are now on holiday for four days! I’ve bought a couple of clearblues with me more to keep an eye on possible period arrival… I’ll do one tomorrow and one on Friday.

They haven’t mentioned early scans or anything for me - I have a blood test at the beginning of Nov on the off-chance I’m still pregnant (though I don’t think that is likely.

@Thornberry1 here’s an update for you - tests taken Sat, Mon and today. As you can see they’re not progressing as they should but frustratingly are also not getting fainter either (if anything today’s is slightly darker…)

I’m now panicking that maybe this could mean one of the chromosomal conditions where low HCG is an indicator 🤦‍♀️

Sorry, forgot image