Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

So sorry about your mc @whippeywhippet. I have been unsure about increased risk after tfmr. It doesn’t sound like there is any clear increase, rather that it’s just sadly very common.

I’m now two weeks post tfmr. It was awful saying goodbye at the hospital to our little daughter and we have her funeral next week. I’m still planning to ttc asap. At the moment I’m still bleeding though. How long did that last for everyone? It has lightened but I’m still getting random heavier times.

The midwife advised me to wait for one AF for psychological rather than physiological reasons, but I really don’t think I’m going to - I got pregnant quite quickly with the DD we just lost but it took over a year for my DS, so I really don’t want to wait.

@Dinosaurus86 I'm sorry for your loss. I think I bled for a week or two afterwards, but I can't really remember now... it definitely wasn't long. Fingers crossed it happens quickly for you.

@Dinosaurus86 I think I bled for a couple of weeks too. I hope you are doing ok.

I totally understand where you’re coming from in not wanting to wait for a period and to just start ttc, I was tempted to do the same but my GP said having that one period makes future date calculations a lot easier. As any future pregnancy is going to be an anxious time I didn’t want to exacerbate that anxiety had I got pregnant straight away by not being able to date it properly and therefore potentially miscalculating milestones. I don’t think there is a right or wrong decision on when to ttc I just thought I’d put this out there for you to consider xx

I only bled for a few days but had a surgical D&C so might be slightly different. But I also wanted to TTC straight away! Didn't happen (think my body was still recovering, felt loads of pressure in my pelvis etc) and also wasn't sure when I was going to ovulate - first AF came 6 weeks after TRMR which was longer than I thought. But to be honest, trying made me feel better even though it didn't happen that cycle. So I would say do what feels right and if it doesn't happen then you can start tracking the month after.

Now on cycle 2 post-TFMR - we've tried really hard this month and now in the TWW.

Sending so much love for next week @Dinosaurus86 xx

Thank you everyone ♥️

@Dinosaurus86 thinking of you this week. I found the funeral very sad but also comforting that she was now at rest.

After giving birth to our daughter I bleed constantly for 3 weeks and then off and on for a future 10 days. However I did have retained tissue that was very painful and I think prolonged the bleeding a bit.

Hope everyone's doing ok ❤
I just wondered, did people find they had irregular cycles after their procedure? My AF is late (pregnancy tests negative) so just wondered if I could still be adjusting.. this will be my second AF post-TFMR.

I bled for 9 weeks solidly after my TFMR and then the bleeding ramped up so I ended up back at hospital for a scan... which showed that i'd gone straight from postpartum bleeding into a period (which I then bled for another 3 weeks).

12w of bleeding was brutal and then it took two or three cycles for some vague normality to return. My cycles have been a little irregular since I had my living child 6 years ago though so I can't blame it all on the TFMR.

I have missed the window for conception for the last few months and I am starting to wonder if I should even bother any more. Meh.

Also sorry to all those who've suffered loss recently. For me after miscarriage and TFMR it has always got easier over time so I hope it does for you too.

I think my first cycle was definitely weird and not viable, second also seemed like it was in an adjustment phase and I caught the third cycle. I'm now 28 weeks and feeling very fortunate.

Well almost 3 months on from my tfmr, first proper cycle trying. DTD at all the right times and got to 12dpo so was really getting my hopes up. 2 years ago today on 4th aug 2021 we found out we were pregnant with our living son who’s 16m today, 4 is our lucky number, and as a big fuck you I got my period.

Hug your son right and know that it will all be ok one way another as you have him.

Three years on from my TFMR, three cycles of IVF and I’ve never even got an embryo, but there are still things to be thankful for.

@BlackThumb Too right - got to remember there’s so much to be thankful for. It’s such a journey, and I haven’t even been on it long! Some days I feel good and like my old self and others I find like I just don’t care what people are saying, can’t engage and feel I’ve totally lost my sparkle.

Yesterday I felt actually wretched and so angry that my body wasn’t playing ball and really panicky that I’d never get pregnant again (cycle all over the place) but today I ran a 10k pb and I feel sooo grateful and proud of my body and what it’s been through.

Hang in guys! Hug your kids / pals / family and enjoy a nice glass of wine x

Hi all, hope everyone is doing okay? I have my 6 week catch up today with the consultant to diagnosed my daughter. I feel so anxious, luckily I don't have to go into the hospital, it's online but I'm still so triggered by it. Did anyone else feel like this?

Aw @oneweecraw I remember that feeling so well. Our bereavement midwife actually offered us to meet with a different consultant as the thought of seeing the consultant who blew our world apart at the ultrasound was too much (he also didn't have the best bedside manner so that didn't help either). The new consultant we saw was lovely and was nice to start afresh, he will also be our consultant for future pregnancies. Is there the option to postpone and ask for someone else? Thinking of you!

Thank you for replying and I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. So, this consultant was from the fetal medicine clinic and I really liked him, the consultant I saw in hospital was awful. He was a total arsehole and I initially received an appointment to his clinic which I declined and asked to go back to this man. I think it's just the feeling of talking about the medical side of it again which is triggering, that said, I'm desperate to know the plan going forward etc so I know I need to have it.

@oneweecraw oh wow, this is exactly the same as us! Why is it like that 😞 so rubbish! Glad you saw the nice consultant though! Yes it is exactly that, I kept explaining it to my husband that I felt like it was a plaster that needed ripping off. Make sure you ask all and any questions that you have, our consultant actually thanked us for asking so many. I have my fingers crossed for you x

So glad you've said that! I've got a list 🤣🤣 I was worried I wouldn't be able to ask!
Thanks so much for replying, hope you're doing okay now x

@whippeywhippet
Also, why are these obstetric consultants so bad?!?! I feel like it's the one area that you need to be so empathetic and they're not! The one I saw came to see me after my daughter was born, took two personal calls and then told me to go home and try again! Awful.

@oneweecraw 🤣 no problem! I was like 'oh and one more question' 😂 also if you are there with your partner, I asked the questions and he wrote down the answers. I was worried I wouldn't be able to take it all in at the time and whilst I did, I have definatley come back to the written answers on several occasions to reassure myself that we did the right thing and to look to the future - my brain often tries to trick me into thinking otherwise so to have it written down from the actual appointment is so good x

That's such a good idea. I've got them written on my computer so I'll get him to type as I talk. It was quite funny because I went through them with my Mum the other day and she, very kindly, pointed out that some of the questions were not really rational so rather than asking "did smoking a house party in 2003 cause this", stick to the main issues 🤣

@oneweecraw sorry our messages crossed! Wow, that is awful! Ours (whilst scanning and before telling us what was wrong - which at the time we didn't know anything was, we thought it was just a regular scan) asked me if I had penchant for unpasteurised cheese(!!!), if I work with chemicals or had travelled to a destination that had zika...

Then when I had to have an MRI to fully diagnose our daughters condition the staff were talking to me about their own children!!

Then when I was in labour another consultant was adamant that our daughter had to have a full post mortem, even though we were told it was our choice and her condition was so clear through other tests etc that we didn't need it. He was so adamant that the midwife asked him to leave. He also had brought his assistant with him who was heavily pregnant. I felt very sorry for her but also I thought surely she didn't need to come in the room and could have waiting outside?!

Sorry such a rant!

@whippeywhippet
Omg, I could've written this. That's so awful. I'm so sorry.
Yes, same!! They tried to force the post mortem on me too and I had to put my foot down.
Just so bad!

@oneweecraw haha! I am so with you on the irrational questions 😂 also be prepared that for quite a few of my questions the answer was, we just don't know. Which whilst difficult, I've also come to realise that it was a very unlucky thing to happen to us. Let us know how you get on, if you're ok to share x

I will, thank you so much for replying this morning! Settled my wee troubled mind xx

@oneweecraw all in this together ❤️