Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Hi all, although very early for me (I had a surgical tfmr at 16 weeks, 3 days ago) I am already lurking here and thinking about ttc again. I am 40 in a couple of months and this is my third pregnancy this year following a couple of years of not being able to get pregnant. I don't have any children and after getting a good 12 week scan, really thought we had nailed it this time. The happiness lasted a whole 24 hours until my midwife called with my screening results based off my bloods. The last few weeks have been horrendous and the only way I have managed to get through was by disconnecting myself completely from the pregnancy and trying to disconnect from the termination process.
Here's hoping that we are all seeing some positive tests and healthy pregnancies soon 🤞

Hi all, first cycle tracking and TTC this month. I'm only 4DPO and tbh not holding out much hope as it was my first cycle after period since TFMR - but was just glad to see that I ovulated (and boy did I know it, the uncomfortable bloating was something else this month, I'd forgotten what it was like!)

Hope everyone else is doing OK x

First cycle after TFMR for me - hopefully my body is back to normal now.

Hi all ❤
I'm still lurking but not posting really. My anxiety is quite bad.
I'm 6+4 today and have my first 'reassurance' scan at epu later this week. I can't help but think it's going to be bad news again. I've not only suffered a tfmr, but also after that, a missed miscarriage, so even if I get positive news, I don't think I'll relax. My mmc was at 10 weeks and I never got past the 12 week scan when they noticed the abnormalities (tmfr was at 14+6).
I'm exhausted from feeling so worried...on top of morning sickness (aka all day sickness) I feel quite down about it all. Ive never had good news in a scan and I think I'm scared I'll never get past these first 15weeks.
Sorry for being so down, especially when I'm in a position so many (myself included) wants to be in again. I just wish it came with less emotions! I guess thats what pregnancy after loss is like though.
Wishing you all loads of luck for this month those ttc again 💞 It shows so much strength being able to try again I think.

@Quokka7 sorry to hear you are feeling so down, although I can't blame you after losses. If in just over a week when I decide to test, I know I'll be down either way - feeling down if its negative, but absolutely terrified if it's positive- we have a 50/50 genetic condition to deal with, so I will be terrified of whats to come.

We are all so strong cos we have to be. As my consultant said to me during my TFMR, what other choice do we have if we want a baby? It's a shitty card we've all been dealt, but i keep telling myself it's our card so we just have to get on with it. And we are all amazing for being able to.

Hand hold for you during these next few months x

Thank you @pebbles3004 I really appreciate your understanding. I just hate the fact I get my hopes up and then have them dashed. I was certain we'd had all the bad luck after our struggle to conceive, then tfmr so I think the mmc on top of that has made me very pessimistic. I realise it's not an easy road for a lot of us. You're consultant is right in that what other choice do we have?
My fingers will be crossed for you. I can't imagine how it must feel knowing you have a 50/50 chance of it happening again. X

@Quokka7 Just wanted to say that I was in your position a few months ago. TFMR last Feb (18weeks), early miscarriage July, MMC October and now I am 16weeks. It's hard and I've still not relaxed at all (had a bad bleed at 11wks which didn't help) Just wanted you to know you are not alone x

I'm 10 weeks tomorrow and have NIPT (private) on Wednesday. I feel 50/50 on whether the news will be fine or bad, though TFMR was for Edwards and I don't.have a significantly increased chances of the same happening again. That said, I am trying to be happy about being pregnant each day, without projecting to what the future will bring, good or bad. I feel much less ill in my current pregnancy than in my Edwards pregnancy, which certainly increases my ability to find joy daily.

Hi all, I'm still lurking here. I'm a week or so off of having taken the Folic for the 90 days - I can't believe where the time has gone.

I have felt so anxious the last couple of days though, I went on my sisters hen do that I originally wasn't supposed to be on as our daughter would possibly have only been a few weeks old. I found the whole weekend quite overwhelming as I was the only one there without a living child and so listen to a lot of baby chatter for the weekend. And it feels like a long long road ahead to even contemplate bringing a baby home.

I am also so ready to try again now (the want for a child is outweighing the fear at the moment) but my husband is different. I feel like I need to rip it off like a band aid but at the same time the unknown is a real haunting feeling. I assume this is all normal feelings, it just really really sucks.

That and everyone around me seems to be having these elaborate announcements of pregnancy on social media or bringing their new baby home and it all feels so unfair x

@Quokka7 thinking of you and sending so many positive thoughts your way x

@whippeywhippet - this is just such a tough road. I am really sorry. I have always thought I would have found it so much harder without already having a living child. I really wish you the best in this journey.

Sending everyone my best. @onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl I am sorry you have gone through this only days ago. I hope you are physically and mentally as ok as you can be at such an awful time.

@EMcG3 I hope your NIPT tests are good and give you some reassurance.

I've seen a few posters are a similar age to me (40), in some ways I have found being this age has made it easier to TTC again straightaway because I have no time to lose but I do wonder if I am really ready.

@whippeywhippet I am sorry you have found it tough with the hen do. I am sure it is normal but it does suck. Like you I don't have a living child and I find t tough that my sister and cousins speak so regularly about their children and post photos to our family WhatsApp group. Mother's Day was tough this year.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay - thanks so much. I've only had the scan so far but the doctor was a foetal anomolies specialist and walked us through what he would have expected to see if we had similar issues to last time. It made me optimistic that I may get there with this one. Results should come next week.

@EMcG3 I am so glad the specialist was able to give you some reassurance, sending positive thoughts your way for the results next week but pleased everything looks promising.

Hope everyone is doing well. I have just got my period. It’s only been our first month of properly trying but I was so (unrealistically) hopeful and I feel very deflated. I was due today so at least I know my periods are back to normal which is good news I guess but I feel so sad.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay same here. Month 4 for us and just as disappointing but we go again!
We had good news recently for a change which confirmed through genetics that patau's doesn't run in either of our genes so shouldn't happen to us again in future pregnancies. Feels like I can go into trying again fully aware now

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay and @Lunamoon2022 I’m sorry to hear this and I totally get it - we’re on cycle 4 here, 10dpo and no hints of anything (which in previous pregnancies I’ve had at this point) so I’m feeling like this month is a no-go again. It feels strangely worse after the chemical in cycle 2 but I can’t really explain why. The other mumsnet thread I started on in Dec, I’m the last person not pregnant… so silly to be affected by that but it has got me down.

After turning 40 last month, my age is starting to weigh on my mind a little and everything feels a bit more urgent. I was really hoping to be pregnant again before my due date but that seems unlikely now.

@Lunamoon2022 - that’s great news about yours results. That must feel like a weight has been lifted.

@Downtherabbithole83 @Lunamoon2022 sorry to hear you are experiencing the same but thank you for making me feel less alone. Hopefully we will all have good news soon.

@Lunamoon2022 that must be such a relief to receive that news and takes away some of the anxiety x

Hey all! I've been avoiding the thread for a while as I'm trying not to get too focused on ttc'ing and just letting what happens happen. I'm having a really weird cycle/af right now though... after having my first af a few weeks after my tfmr, I went back to being pretty regular. Except my last AF started only 2 weeks after the one before... and I'm still heavy spotting almost 2 weeks later. So confused!

It's my due date in a few weeks, and I've just found out there's a big team meeting/social on that day, I'm so not looking forward to having to be sociable... such typical bad timing! (My manager has said I can get out of it, but I feel like that will just get everyone wondering why, iyswim... plus I don't want to miss out)

@Downtherabbithole83 how are you doing? I’m on my 4th cycle too after the TFMR and no success yet. I’m also nearly 40.

Hello @Harrjenk. I’m currently 4dpo and this is my last chance to get pregnant before my original due date which is what I’d really hoped for. 🤞

How are you doing?

Fingers crossed @Downtherabbithole83

My original due date was yesterday, and with typical great timing, AF arrived on the same day. Oh well, always next month...

I am 8 weeks pregnant, but I'm working with a 50/50 chance of a healthy baby. I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling. Typically I think I will be waiting the result of the CVS on my due date for the baby we lost in December so I know that week is not going to be fun...

@pebbles3004 I am so pleased you are pregnant but I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I know it doesn't do anything to help but please know this internet stranger is absolutely rooting for you x

@pebbles3004 congratulations on your new pregnancy. I'm also pregnant and my husband I were discussing this when I was about 12 weeks along. I put likelihood of live birth at 64% at the time, though looking at the actual figures it was somewhere in the 90s.

I had NIPT results come out within a few days of my previous due date, while I was visiting my in-laws. The last time I had been to visit them (abroad) was when I got a confirmation of my diagnosis and realised I'd need to terminate. This time the results were positive but I really struggled doing the same thing in the same place, around my 2 pregnant sisters in law, one of whom was set to give birth 3 weeks after the due date of my TFMR baby. It can be a lot but i can say that I have found getting further along in pregnancy helpful for me. I'm set to hit the same point in my pregnancy in a few weeks as my TFMR and looking forward to the idea of coming out from under its long shadow.