Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

Litterally just got my peak this evening, it was only high this morning. 3 days later but fingers crossed 🤞

Sounds similar to my second cycle! Glad you got your peak @Cmp990 🤞for a good outcome!

Hi all, how is everyone doing? I'm struggling to sleep tonight. This time next month we will be ready to start TTC and it's like the road ahead is laid out in front of me and it feels so long and scary. Our daughter was our first child so at the moment I don't know anything other than loss which feels so daunting. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here other than to know if anyone else feels the same. All I can do at the moment is try and stay busy (not helpful when it's 1:30am and you can't sleep) and tell myself that when the time hopefully comes, it will be a different pregnancy x

@whippeywhippet I'm sorry you struggled to sleep last night. It's important to remember that while things can go wrong in pregnancy, the majority do result in healthy babies. I can't remember why you had to tfmr, is it something that could happen again?

I've been finding out hard to sleep as well - not sure of the reason, though. I think just that a lots happened over the past few months, and I've got a terrible cold, and AF is due in the next couple of days.

Does anyone know if trisomy 21 is likely to reoccur in a subsequent pregnancy? I TFMR due to this in February.

@Hidingawaytoday Our daughter had a severe brain abnormality which we found out wasn't genetics and our consultant said it 99% wouldn't happen again, which was comforting although doesn't stop the worry completely.

Sorry to hear you've been struggling to sleep too, I think you are right that so much has happened, sometimes I find it hard to believe how much has.

@Iusedtobedontcall sorry to hear this. Have you have testing?

The embryo has been sent off for testing but I haven’t had the results back yet.

Hi all ❤
I've been struggling to sleep too. I'm away on holiday at the moment and tested on Sunday before leaving as I was 11dpo. I threw the test in the bin because it looked faulty with black ink over where the dye would run. I got it back out a bit later and it had a line on it. So I've had to bring tests with me which have confirmed I am. I am so nervous about it all. This is my third pregnancy in a year. Our tfmr baby was conceived in March last year, then we had a mmc in November. We've had such bad luck and have been trying for our first since August 2020. I wish I could be optimistic and excited but I feel scared. Like you, @whippeywhippet, all I know is loss 😔. I also still haven't had the results for our tfmr after 9 months so that's added to the worry. I hope I dont upset anybody with my news, but the only people who know are my husband and mum and it's good to tell people who might understand the fear 😣

This month is a tough one for me too as it would have been my due date. Difficult not to think about what I would have been doing... Coupled with the fact that I think AF is arriving doesn't help! Also waiting for genetic results to see if our next pregnancy may result in t13 again. Like others we've been told it's likely just a 1 off but I don't think I'll believe it until they look at our genetics for sure

@Lunamoon2022 I think this is probably why I'm finding it hard, our daughters due date was the 16th March. Are you doing anything to mark it? I'm planning on taking the dog for a long walk on the beach, something about the sea brings me peace x

@Quokka7 congratulations to you, I can imagine how you must be feeling but keep in mind - different pregnancy, different baby. And im sorry, that is such a long time to wait for results. I expect you have but have you chased them up? I know it doesn't help you but we had ours back after 6 weeks. Although I've heard that you can be prioritised if you fall pregnant before receiving results x

Gentle congrats @Quokka7 - hope it all works out for you. I have my fingers crossed xx

@Iusedtobedontcall my understanding is that T21 is unlikely to occur again unless it’s a particular type (which again is the rarest type) but your chance of it reoccurring goes up by 1% because of having a previous T21 pregnancy. I am by no means an expert - I’m just going on what I was told and my own research from my T21 TFMR in Nov.

@whippeywhippet sorry you’re not sleeping - the emotions with all this are so hard. I’m 10dpo and it’s just not happening for us this month which feels so disappointing after the chemical last month. Really hoped we might fall with a sticky one this month. I’ve now turned 40 and I can’t help but watch the days go by and think maybe it won’t happen for us now.

@Quokka7 gentle congratulations to you. I hope all goes well for you.

I have 3 dc already so hopefully the T21 isn’t genetic. I’m scared it won’t happen again but trying to keep a sense of perspective.

@@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet@whippeywhippet

We've booked a few days away as it's also our first wedding anniversary that week so hoping to try to make it a happier time. This was also month 3 of trying again, and it was month 3 we fell pregnant the first time so can't help but compare! Hopefully next cycle is our lucky one! I also hate wishing away the time as the year is already going so quickly...

Sorry about the above! Keeps messing up with tagging and went a bit crazy on me 🤪

Did you need something? 😂😂

That's lovely you have a few days away booked. It's like hearing myself with the wishing the time away, I'm the same. I can't believe it is March already.

I don't know why (probably because I was anonymous to them) but I followed a few celebrities who were pregnant and due around when I was and then unfollowed when I had to have the TFMR but knew I would eventually hear about their birth in the news somehow. The last one has had her son now and it feels weirdly calming. It's all the dates passing that seem to help x

I know exactly what you mean! The amount of celebs I've unfollowed and old friends I've had to block for my own sanity! I think they've all had their babies now as well. Our time will come soon enough.

I've decided to give up OPKs this cycle and see how we go to try take my mind off it a bit more
Not even going to try tag you in this one, it's still being weird!

Really struggling today. I’m still signed off work after my TFMR and I’m feeling extremely anxious about going back next week. I want to TTC but I’m still feeling devastated and anxious about the loss of my girl.

@Iusedtobedontcall sending you a handhold. It’s understandable you feel this way, it’s really early days. I had my TFMR in January and felt awful when I had to go back to work.

Everyone is different and I’m only a month ahead of you but already I do feel more reconciled with this terrible thing that happened whereas at the start I just felt overwhelming trauma and loss. I am not in any way ‘over it’ and I never will be fully but the emotional rawness has subsided. Take care of yourself and only do things at a pace that you feel you can cope with.

Thank you @WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay . I am finding it comes in waves.

@Iusedtobedontcall - another hand hold here. It does, indeed, come in waves.

I did not feel good about going back to work either but once I did, I felt like it helped with the healing as it made a space in my day that was not just about loss. I hope you find a supportive environment in your workplace. I was pretty upset and actually still really ill from the termination but was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to be around my (mostly young, childless) colleagues. I really hope that you find the same. It is really very tough.

Just posting as this thread seems to have gone a little quiet and I hope everyone is doing ok.

Hello @WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay - all okay here! How are you?

I’m back in the tww again… only 2dpo at the moment so not yet driving myself mad! 😂 First month ttc at 40 now… so trying not to let the number get into my head.