Anyone else TTC after TFMR?

[Downtherabbithole83]

Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would be nice to chat to others who understand.

@Downtherabbithole83 Great news 🤞🏻

@Thefrogwife 3 days before will be tough. It's my birthday today and 3 days before the anniversary of our TFMR. I'm feeling ridiculously emotional right now. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried the other day because dinner wasn't right-bloody hormones 🤦‍♀️
@Hidingawaytoday Worried about the NIPT as they say they can only do it at just over 10wks. I went in on Tuesday thinking I was 7+1 but they have measured me at 8+1 and have booked me in for a NIPT at 10+2. I'm worried they have measured wrong and it will be too early to get any results and then we will have to wait and do it all over again which will take so long and if it's bad news, I'll be further along again.

Congrats @Downtherabbithole83 !

Thanks all for your kind words - I fully understand the mixed emotions when seeing someone get a positive test so I really appreciate all the love! ❤️ So glad I set up this little thread - it’s grown so much after I waited those first few days with no replies. While I’m sorry we’re all on here together through the sharing of a shit experience, you’re all awesome and I’m glad we have each other.

There’s a chance the hormones are setting in… 😂

The anxiety is started to properly set in so not sure how I’ll make it to the 12 weeks scan in one piece… we may book NIPT so at least that would be a bit earlier.

Lines are still quite faint but drying darker and I think I see some progression which is good. I’m still only 12dpo so it’s such early days. So much could still go wrong but I’m grateful for this small ray of hope.

@Downtherabbithole83 I'm so glad you started the thread too 💜 in those early days of sheer stress, panic and sadness it was amazing to find you all. I feel much stronger now a couple of months on and I just hope it continues.

We had our follow up appointment with the consultant last week and his letter came through this morning recapping on everything that he said. The main takeaway was that there was nothing we did or didn't do that caused her abnormality. It was a complete 'isolated occurrence'. This has definitely brought a new level of calm to us both.

They also have a plan in place for a new pregnancy which is good also. It will include an early anomaly scan and other monitoring which is reassuring. Not ready just yet to try again but I am excited for a couple of months time and looking after myself and taking the supplements in the meantime xx

Hi everyone, hope it’s ok I join. I started a thread elsewhere but was guided here! I had a tfmr at 14 weeks on 23rd December. I’m desperate to get pregnant again quickly as I’m nearly 40. But I’m so confused about ovulation- I appeared to ovulate (according to Clearblue) a few weeks after the termination and then got my period on day 28. I’m now on day 18 of my next cycle and still getting negative ovulation tests. Did anyone else miss a cycle of ovulation and restart again? I’m really worried about it and am starting to convince myself I will never ovulate again!!

Welcome @Harrjenk - glad you managed to find us!

Are you still tracking? Maybe you’ll just ovulate late? I think lots of us have found our cycles have been a little off for the first few months after tfmr

@Downtherabbithole83 yes still tracking. I started testing early (straight after my period) twice a day and still doing it. Now on day 18 and still getting negatives. Just feeling a bit paranoid that I won’t ovulate and what that means. I’m terribly impatient- which has actually been the worst thing about all of this. Firstly waiting for all the subsequent tests to confirm I needed a termination, then waiting to actually have it, and now waiting to ovulate!

@Harrjenk what opks are you using?

@Downtherabbithole83 easy@home and the app (just the free app, not premium) and also Clearblue 2 day one (the pink packets). I’ve tried the other Clearblue one before with the purple packets which gives more predicted fertile days but didn’t get on with them. What did you use? X

@Harrjenk those are what I used. Have you had any rides in LH or staying mostly consistent? I’d just keep testing unless it’s stressing you out in which case stop testing and try again if and when you spot any ewcm.

They all look really similar to me!

Was it hard for anyone here to make the decision to ttc again?

Im completely on the fence if we should ttc again. Part of me feels like it will heal the trauma and part of me never wants to feel like that again. I have awful HG in pregnancy too so it’s not an easy ride.

I feel like I should just be happy with the DC I have.

I'm afraid I have no advice @Harrjenk but I hope your body sorts itself out soon. I'm sure it's just recovering at the moment.

@Picturesonthewall123, for us it was an easy decision to start ttc again, we really want another and needing the tfmr was really just very bad luck so there's no reason to think we won't go on to have a healthy pregnancy. I can see where you're coming from though, how many dc do you have? I think if we were going from 2 to 3, rather than 1 to 2 it might be different. Could you wait a bit longer and see how you feel in a few months?

What's TFMR? One thing I dislike about mumsnet, is all the guess work 🙈😂

@Mummyo1 tfmr stands for termination for medical reasons. It’s not so much mumsnet terminology as a general abbreviation used by anyone who has had the misfortune to go through it.

@Harrjenk your chart definitely looks like mine did and I guess your body might just be getting back to normal after tfmr. Keep in mind that the surge comes from nowhere - you can be on 0.2 one day and then over 1 the next on the app so don’t expect clues that the surge is coming on there as it often doesn’t happen like that.

@Picturesonthewall123 it was an easy choice for us because although we both have children with our exes, our tfmr would have been our only child together. My other half is 41 and I’m about to turn 40 and as our tfmr was for t21 we know age could play a factor so just getting on with it seemed the most sensible approach.

@Downtherabbithole83 thank you, that’s really reassuring and good to know

Hey all! How's everyone doing? How are you feeling @Downtherabbithole83?

I've got a couple of days left on my tww and trying really hard not to symptom spot! There were a couple of specks of blood when I wiped earlier though so not getting my hopes up.

We also had a call from our consultants secretary yesterday to tell us the pm results were in and to arrange a debrief, which is set for a couple of weeks' time. Has anyone else had one? I'm not sure how helpful it will be given we know the problem and that it wasn't genetic but there we go.

@Hidingawaytoday we had our debrief at the end of January and I found it really useful. Mainly because we discussed what would happen with future pregnancies and who to contact as soon as I get a positive test. It was also really good for our mental health to have someone confirm (again) that it was nothing we did or didn't do. I hope you find yours useful too x

@Hidingawaytoday I forgot to add that we also got some test results back that were nothing to do with our daughters condition but they found that my placenta wasn't the best it could be and they would monitor this in future pregnancies when I am nearing the end. He said it was nothing to worry about but good that they could look out for it going forwards x

Thanks for checking in @Hidingawaytoday - I am currently swinging between excitement, anxiety and disbelief! I think that’s probably normal…

Glad you are getting your debrief. We’ve not had one - I emailed my bereavement midwife today to check whether we should have had one and if the process with this pregnancy will be any different because of the tfmr.

@Downtherabbithole83 definitely normal! Hopefully, your bereavement midwife will get back to you soon! When I spoke to the fetal medicine team a few weeks ago about some tissue that had come out, they said I should let them know about a future pregnancy as I might be able to have extra scans - just for reassurance - as the problem that caused the tfmr is very unlikely to happen again. So fingers crossed it's the same for you.

Thanks @whippeywhippet, I think that's all they'll confirm at ours, and hopefully baby's sex as they weren't able to tell us that after the tfmr. I hadn't even thought about other issues they might pick up. I'm glad it means you'll get extra monitoring in future.

Three weeks post surgical TMFR and I have stopped bleeding. Last week we had to buy an urn for our baby’s ashes. It was so small and beyond sad.

I hate that my age (40) means I need to start trying again before I’ve really addressed my grief but I know if I wait my chances of ever having a child diminish.

I believe I need to wait for one period before we can start trying again.

I am so pleased to hear your news @Downtherabbithole83 it gives us all hope.

@pebbles3004 how are you doing? I hope the bleeding has stopped and you are getting the right care.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayay thanks for checking in - I think I am about to finally stop bleeding! Just brown spotting now. I managed to see a GP last Thursday when I was still bleeding bright red, fresh blood, who referred me for an urgent scan. Mind you, I still haven't received that appt but hopefully I don't actually need it. They've checked my bloods for iron levels due to bleeding for so long (also coupled with losing a lot of blood during labour and birth) I am beyond relieved, I'm almost 6 weeks post TFMR. I am relieved it means no retained products, and hopefully that we can start to think about TTC.

I haven't even discussed TTC with my husband yet. He HATED the TFMR process and the toll that it physically took on me. I didn't sleep for a month waiting on the results. I haven't mentioned it to him because I have a feeling he will be hesitant, purely thinking of me. The issue with the baby was genetically passed on from him so I know that's a factor. And due to the fact I hadn't stopped bleeding, I was in no rush to have that difficult conversation with him, but now I know I need to bite the bullet and do it if I am hopefully due my period next...

Hope everyone else is doing OK. This community is the best worst club to be part of! X