Fertility Appointments and Beyond: Electric Boogaloo

[thislittlebird]

Hit capacity on the old thread, will tag you in!

@Alsobeyondshit I was 40 a week ago 🙃🙃🙃. I’m trying not to freak out but I know if I think about it too much then I will probably get upset. I feel like I’m almost out of time and we’ve run out of money right now for another cycle. So we need to save hard and hope we can save enough by winter, I guess, which is hard with two holidays this summer.

That’s what I did. Transferred my best one and tested the others that would survive the process. I guess I would do the same again, but I’m definitely conflicted about PGT-A.

Yeah, ikwym. I think my red line is roughly another year/too more fresh cycles. At the start I was hoping I’d only need one, what a dumb assumption that was. Mentally and physically I’m already fed up of it, but I know I won’t be able to feel like I’ve given it a shot unless I try a few more times.

I think I’ve probably regained a ton last week in Portugal! Need to get back to it. With age has come a lot of back/middle fat for me which I really don’t like.

How’s your cycle going? I’m not sure when to do another transfer. I want to get some more weight off, so if I did that for a month it would take me to July, but we’re on holiday in the Lakes then and I don’t want a BFN to ruin it so I’m thinking maybe August. It feels a long way away but I doubt it’ll make much difference. Any future egg collection cycles needed are the ones I’m more worried by time-wise.

Hope everyone else is well.

August sounds good 😊 giving yourself the summer to relax is a good idea too x

I have just had my regime through for my next round of IVF, and my egg collection is planned on my birthday in mid-July 🙈🙈🙈

I'm hoping I get a little birthday luck 🤞 but I'm also worried it will be another traumatic egg collection 😬 gah!!

@Kay00 i have to say I’m finding the wait hard. I just want to get on with it all because I’m so conscious of my age, but I know it makes sense to wait until then. I wish I was more relaxed! I’ve put on some weight again, so I need to work at losing that for the next month or so. It’s so slow going now, my metabolism is shit.

Oh wow, that is quite a birthday lol. They tell you your egg collection date in advance? I didn’t know that, how do they know your eggs will be ready then? I’ve never had this before!

@kay00 @thislittlebird hi both. Hope you are well! Kay - I had an estimated egg collection date pencilled in for this cycle but it ended up being five days later. When are you starting stims?

@thislittlebird I've stopped exercising and it's gotten me down!! I feel fat and bloated and full of fluid. How are you feeling about another transfer?

Had egg collection yesterday and much better than previous rounds. No idea what it was - the growth hormone, different stims drugs, 50 supplement tablets a day... Got nine eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilised. Now the anxious wait for day five.

Think we'll do a fresh transfer and PGT-A test anything left over.

I think our consultant thinks we should go straight into another stims round and freeze what we have - to get the biggest choice of embryos and because if we do get pregnant this time and want a sibling in a few years we have options (as opposed to doing more IVF when I'm even older...) Frankly we don't have ten grand laying around though, the £2.5k for each frozen transfer, and I found stims hard this time struggling with work etc and maybe just one child is fine?!

How do you decide what is right?

@Alsobeyondshit yeah, that's a super difficult decision. And it's so much money 🥴 but that's a bloody great egg collection! Well done!! Please keep us updated with your day 3 and 5 results 🤞 I wonder if the growth hormone helped, I have heard such good things!

@thislittlebird yes, it's hard to wait isn't it. But I'm glad I've waited until July for my next round rather than squeezing one in before my Ovarian Drilling operation. I feel more chilled and mentally ready to go through it all this time x

And yes, lol, on both my previous rounds they gave me a 'final scan' date and if everything is looking good egg collection is two days after. I'm a huge over responder, so on both occasions so far my egg collection was on the day they planned. Of course, everything could change for my next round...

@kay00 So fresh transfer for me today! Of the 7 fertilised eggs, 4 haven't really progressed since day 3 although they seem to want to give them more time.

There are two top quality blasts and one getting there - might turn tomorrow fingers crossed.

I THINK we'll transfer one, and PGT-A test two. But maybe we should transfer two? DP definitely doesn't want to do two... Argh decisions decisions.

They could all be crap couldn't they.

Eek!! Good luck in your transfer today 😄

Excellent results 👏 I'd be super chuffed. It's so hard to decide whether to transfer one or two, but my OH is always quite adamant that he doesn't want to risk twins, so we've only ever transferred one so far (we always get one good quality blast, and one rubbish one lol).

I had my meds delivered today ready for my IVF cycle starting at the end of this month... It's all starting up again for me!

@kay00 went with one! Other one off for testing and fingers crossed for the second third one.

Good luck with your next cycle! I can't remember if you're trying something new/moving clinics?

Yey!! You have an embie on board 🙌 I really hope this is the one for you xx

I'm sticking with the same clinic, and my regime is similar (slightly more drugs planned this time, with more progesterone support after egg collection and post egg transfer... Because in my last cycle I started bleeding 3dp5dt 😣), my big difference this time is that I've had the ovarian drilling. We're trying to improve my egg quality... My goal is two good blasts so I can finally have something to freeze ❤️

I'm so pleased for you and your results xx

@Alsobeyondshit hope you’re doing ok, I think you had your transfer from reading up

@Kay00 how long until your next cycle now?

I have been on MN much because there’s just nothing happening here. Other than the same old thoughts about leaving my job and then not doing it because I don’t want to restart my benefits. It’s a shame, we’re planning a transfer in august so I don’t think there’s much point looking around that time. Maybe if we have a natural lull, as we often do.

Hi @ththislittlebird. August is pretty close now!!
Do you mean a lull with your job?

We did have a transfer and it failed. I started bleeding today. Still waiting on the PGT-A tested frozen embryo we have for a transfer but I'm not holding out much hope tbh.

Just thinking things through at the moment. Wondering if this is something I/we want to do again. And can afford to frankly.

A childfree life doesn't always look so bad and one with kids often looks terrible... Currently doing a bit of self care, thinking about going away for a few days. Looking to read up on others experiences - like, how did people decide to stop IVF and just be ok with what they have? Was it a trigger?

@Alsobeyondshit

I’m sorry to hear your update, I hope you’re ok but it never gets much easier, just more predictable each time. When will the PGT-A be back?

I totally get what you’re saying, I don’t know how people get to that point. For us, it’s just been a slow realisation that this isn’t working for us in the way it does for others. I know at our age there’s fewer normal embryos to be found, so it can be hard, but just feels unfair when it definitely works for others this age.

More like a lull in treatment. I think we’ve sort of decided to do two back to back (ish) egg collections and then we’re done, because of my age we thought this would be the most sensible time-wise. We can’t afford them, we’ll have to borrow some money for the first time. Well, we can afford them if we have a year or two to save but we don’t have that time really so I think the plan will be borrow and pay back and then move on, poorer and sadder.

So transfer these two, if they both fail then in theory we’ll do two more egg collections and transfer whatever we get from there. Probably transfer 1 fresh and then test the excess again. It’s hard even saying it because although that’s not yet, it’s hard to draw a line under all this and accept it won’t possibly work. Firstly I have to be fit and well enough to do two more collections, so we’ll see if I’m feeling like it all if these last two fail.

When it’s been this hard to conceive, to even cross the first hurdle, it’s hard to believe you could ever get a pregnancy to term anyway. So many more hurdles to overcome. What other women do so easily without even thinking about it, I can’t even comprehend being possible for me.

And yeah, sometimes child free looks fine, I wish I knew more people who had no kids. Other times it just feels like I’ve won the booby prize. I’m sure in time I’d be able to accept it and move on but I can’t shake the feeling that things like watching younger family members have children in the next decade, as we get older and remain childless, will be hard.

Damn ladies. I get it 😭 this is such. Rough ride.

@Alsobeyondshit I'm so sorry you started bleeding yesterday, it's just the worst.

I have a very close friend who is child free by choice. She doesn't know about my struggles to conceive and she assumes I'm child free by choice too. It's hard sometimes because she makes comments that are derogatory towards women who choose to have children and is assuming I agree with her... But I don't 😥 but I see little chance of my situation changing and feel lucky I have at least one childless good friend.

@thislittlebird my baseline scan is on Friday and I'm expecting to start my stims on Saturday. So it's all ramping up for me again.

@kay00 Wishing you good luck for your scan and stims start. Will you keep us posted?

I feel very lucky to have a really good number of child free friends - lesbian married couple, gay male friends, and women in their 40s and 50s. Most by choice, some by circumstance. None have gone through fertility treatment.

The straight couples I know that have done IVF now have kids.

I can't imagine it's fun to be one of the onlys without children.

I'm so in my head at the moment. Still waiting for the damn PGT-A test results.

@Kay00 it’s rough alright, there’s no bloody light at the end of the tunnel.

It sounds like you’re both lucky to have child free friends, I don’t really have any. I have older friends though, whose kids are either pre-teen or adults so that’s quite nice. Feels like I’ve missed out on the little kid stuff they’ve done long ago and if this does work I’ll be with a small baby while they’re living their best lives 🙃

@Kay00 keep us posted on the baseline, fingers crossed for a better cycle for you this time.

@Alsobeyondshit any idea when they’re be back? Ours came back right before the bleeding started, I think, or maybe after. It was very close.

side note: just saw Sara Pascoe on tv. She’s two years older than me, she got married the same year as me (2020), had baby one via IVF in 2022 and baby 2 due this year. One one hand I have faith it can work if it did for her, she’s older, but it can’t have taken many attempts, surely? That seems like a very fast turnaround of babies, so that also disheartens me.

I think pascoe has been doing IVF for a long time. I saw her show in Edinburgh in 2017 and she mentioned how she couldn't get pregnant with her recently ex partner. They might have done IVF? She said her fertility was the issue. She may have frozen eggs? Used donor eggs? I don't know, but she's certainly been conscious of and doing things about her fertility for a long time.

PGT-A test results back and the embryo is abnormal. So that's us with nowt at the end of this round. Just over £12k down but at least we've only had to pay for one month's frozen storage....

I'm so desperate to make a decision about what's next - go again or abort mission. Just had a chat with a friend though who is good at talking me down. I must remember this transfer fail only happen four days ago and I shouldn't be rash

@Alsobeyondshit oh interesting, so she might have tried it previously. Interesting it's sort of worked twice in 2-3 years for her though. I'm glad she's open about it.

That's shit, I'm sorry it came back abnormal, did they tell you what was wrong with it? Yeah, don't rush into anything, just try to deal with the round you've had. This shit is really hard, give yourself time to think about how you're feeling, but I know that desire to want to know what's next for you.

Damn, I'm so so sorry 😞. Whatever you choose to do next, don't rush into it, give your self time to process everything you have been through so far.

I think it will be important to have your follow up call with your consultant too x

I have my baseline scan on Friday, but no sign of AF starting yet 😬. So Im worried my cycle could be delayed..

@Kay00 Any sign today? My cycle started yesterday, maybe we've had an infertility sync 😀

I emailed the clinic today, it's been a long time since I last had a FET, last one was last September, the only one that ever briefly took :/

I can't remember the process at all, when I have to come in etc. I'm away in the Lake District at the end of July, worried they'll want a scan on the first day or two but I won't be here. I know what drugs I'll be on (pred, progesterone pessaries and injectables, and clexane) but can't recall the timings.

@thislittlebird ... So no. My period hasn't shown up. I was googling how to 'induce a period' when I thought I should take a test... Just in case.

Fuk!!! It was positive! I thought it must be old and broken, so I took another... And two lines came up 😭😭😭

I'm in shock. It hasn't sunk in yet... I have never seen those two lines. And to be honest, I never thought I would.

I guess the ovarian drilling really worked for me. It really did balance out my hormones and that helped me produce a decent egg and was fertilised and implanted! I can't believe it 🤯

It's still really early days, I think I'm about 19dpo... But I'm not sure. I'm not going to get too excited. But I'm in awe that I have made it this far... Omg!! 😭

Pic

Crikey @kay00 congratulations! (I'm mainly impressed you're having sex while doing IVF )

How are you feeling? Wishing you good luck over the next few weeks

I’m late to this and stunned, that’s a bit mental tbh @Kay00 in just sat here going???? Didn’t you ovulate normally anyway? And didn’t you have regular periods? Maybe it was just luck? Can’t get my head round how the procedure could be so effective.

@Alsobeyondshit I’m also impressed. The sex isn’t up on my to do list tbh, not most of the time, I find it hard because I associate it with ttc and not sure how to stop that. Obviously it’s unlikely naturally for us because my husband’s sperm are all under constant attack by his antibodies.

Desperately wish someone would drill something of mine and make it work ffs, I need this solution. In all seriousness, I never did work out if I ovulate normally or not. We think I do, because periods and when I did ovulation induction everything looked normal and the egg grew etc, but it’s like they told me I have low progesterone and that’s that, no one ever bothered to figure out why. This process is such a headfuck.