One year+ TTC part 3

[BritInNZ]

Hey ladies - new thread here we come! Changed it from 9 months+ seeing as we're pretty much all over a year of TTC now (boo!)

Feel free to add anyone else I may have forgotten 😊

@Carla2601
@lemons44
@LucyAnne34
@NatW2021
@Indianna2006
@KatieLooLa
@Hoping43
@Flyonthewall89

Newbies welcome too! Just a bunch of lovely ladies going through a tough time TTC and having a good old time venting and supporting one another 😊

@lemons44 omg I am fuming for you! Good on you for complaining, surely someone has to be held accountable. Fingers crossed for you with Mr Ramsay! X

@NatW2021 that sounds really positive! You should always have hope ☺️ X

@Tinkerbell098 hope you’re OK - did you get your blood results? X

@Tinkerbell098 thanks for updating us - did you get your bloods or any next steps? Hope you’re doing ask ok as you can be under the circumstances x

@lemons44 that is so shit - I honestly can’t believe it. We kept ringing mr Ramsey’s office every day (not annoying at all us haha) and they eventually got a cancellation so worth a go. Also the lister is amazing so even though you’ve had a crappy experience here’s hoping it gets better from here

Thanks everyone. My bloods from last week went from 70 to 68 and now down to 32. So the levels are falling as expected, and seems that my body is resolving it without any further complications. I was told to do another test next week to confirm it's down to undetectable levels. I have also started to bleed today. Heavier than a normal period, but that was to be expected, as the scan last week showed my lining was 22 mm. So, got all that to shed yet.

@lemons44 I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all this. It's really frustrating. Glad you have complained. Hope you get an appointment with Lister soon.

@NatW2021 got everything crossed for you for this cycle X

@Tinkerbell098 how are you doing? Although none of it is good news, it must be a relief to know that your body is doing it’s thing without the need for intervention! The methotrexate for me was torturous. I hope you’re holding up OK x

I am 11dpo today with a BFN this morning and can feel my period coming so I’m feeling super emotional today. It’s amazing how quickly you can go from feeling full of hope to completely hopeless in the space of 24 hours. I’m chasing the clinic for our SA and AMH results because I think we are keen to go for IVF privately if it turns out we’re not eligible on the NHS yet.

@Koalie I'm coping, thanks for asking :) yes I'm glad it seems that my body is resolving it by itself without the need for further intervention. I've got a appointment with the consultant in two weeks time to review. Really not sure if I can go through this again, the heartache and anxiety is too much to bear. Some days are better than others. Have booked a few fun things for the next few weeks to make it a little bit easier.
Sorry you had a BFN. It's just so frustrating to have to go through this month after month. Having a plan would really help, so hope you get to move with that, at least for peace of mind. Why do you think you won't be eligible on the NHS?

@Tinkerbell098 oh I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I can certainly relate to how you’re feeling and I know there’s nothing anyone can say to help. :( glad you’ve got fun things planned! I always have a list of things I’m going to do when my period comes to lessen the blow (like eating a delicious Brie panini or having a huge glass of wine) but I’m fast running out of ideas and it’s starting to wear thin! 😒
If hubby’s SA results come back in normal range (we have had him dosed up to the eyeballs with various supplements for the last 3 months which are costing us a bloody fortune) then we will have to wait until we’ve been trying for two years to be eligible. Bizarrely hoping for a below average result 😆 x

I'm sorry @Tinkerbell098 ☹️ make sure you're giving yourself time and space to feel all these emotions. It is such a tough, unfair journey. Sending hugs ❤️

Sorry for the BFN @Koalie ☹️ sushi or smoked salmon bagels in my fav 'not pregnant' food. Keep us posted on the AMH and SA results.

We have our consultation with Mr Ramsay on Tuesday so hoping to get a date for our procedure then.
@Carla2601 after your DH's SSR was he ok enough to get on a tube? We don't live in London and I'm wondering if we get an Uber to our station if DH will be ok to get a train home with me? I thought we could pay extra for first class so he can have more space to spread his legs 😅 how are you feeling? You must be getting close to your due date?

Also our previous clinic are not refunding us for the pre-procedure screening tests they said we must do before the procedure (STI tests, one was a blood test and one was a urine test). They cost £225 and I can't believe they won't refund us considering they wouldn't do the procedure but did these tests on DH anyway.

@lemons44 … I love that you have go to ‘not pregnant’ foods too 😆 I will def keep you all updated!

That is absolutely shocking that they won’t re fund you ! I hope you’ve got an extremely damning Google review penned. Hopefully your official complaint should see you get your money back too! 🤬

xx

@Tinkerbell098 I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. It’s the worst and all your feelings are so valid - hope you’re being really well supported x

@lemons44 your old clinic are horrid! What an awful response. Have you thought about maybe saying to them you’ll leave some reviews if they don’t? I know that’s quite nuclear (and not suggesting you’d actually do it) but it might be worth saying if they can’t provide what would still be awful service you’d feel that you’d need to warn others and see if that gets your money back.

re the tube we got a cab home but we live a few miles from the lister. He didn’t really struggle with walking and he could sit fine so I think if you got a cab to the station then a train you’d be fine - it’s more the general than the pain on the first day my OH said (I’ve just asked him) so it’ll be more that he’s drowsy (I was fine after mine and walked home so he might not be too bad at all) the next day the moving is a bit harder but I think my OH had it on a Wednesday and went on a stag do on the Saturday so I think they warn you it might be worse than it is but of course everyone’s different. Do you know when it will be?

@Koalie I have already started on the alcohol haha! Needed it after a tough week of being in limbo. Keep us updated on the SA results and AMH. Fingers crossed they are OK. I sometimes wish I had moved straight into private and kept the NHS round as a back up. It's crazy how long it's taken so far. I don't even know when i can do another FET.

@lemons44 fuming over your clinic! Definitely threaten with a review alongside the official complaint, hope they can compensate you for everything they put you through. Glad you've got an appointment coming up with Mr Ramsay and hope you get an appointment for the procedure ASAP.

@Carla2601 I'm doing much better now, thanks. I went for reflexology yesterday and I was talking to the lady about how I was in limbo for a while when I knew I had miscarried, but my body was still thickening the lining, still producing hCG and didn't bleed for over a week. She said take it as a positive that my body was so nurturing and was still trying to hold on to the pregnancy and not give up. That it shows how much it wanted it. It made me sad, but it's a nice way of looking at it I guess.

@Tinkerbell098 … can you do that? Have a round of IVF privately whilst waiting for NHS funding ? Do you mind me asking how long it took from getting your initial SA/AMH/HyCosy results to actually being able to start? We are so torn about what to do 🥺

@Koalie yes, my CCG allows up to two private rounds pre NHS treatment, so maybe worth having a look at you CCG's policy? Also, girls on a thread I am on for IVF have also done that, rather than waiting for NHS funding to come through. So mine was a little unusual as I had a mixture of NHS and private consultations/tests. I initially started investigations with GP in July 2021 (we were one year into TTC then). After initial bloods and SA, GP referred me to fertility clinic in Aug 2021 and said there maybe a one year's wait due to covid backlog. We wanted to give it about 6 months to see if anything comes through, and it didn't. So we decided to go private at that point. So in Feb I had my AMH and hycosy done privately. The private consultant we saw was heading the NHS fertility clinic so she referred us to NHS treatment in March, which was great as we got to jump the queue a little bit rather than having to wait for the GP referral to come through. In June, I had a letter to start treatment, which got delayed due to various admin issues in the NHS clinic, so didn't actually start until September. During this time, the GP referral came through around Aug time, by which point I had all my tests done (AMH, hycosy, etc) and been through first nurse appointments for IVF. So it did save a lot of time, however, still had delays with the NHS clinic, so wish we had just gone straight to private IVF around April/May time and we would have been done with a couple of rounds by now.

@Tinkerbell098 gosh that was a long wait for you! Isn’t it crazy how much it varies in different areas? My GP referral to HyCosy was a matter of weeks (maybe cause I nagged and cried) but who knows how long the next bit will be … still chasing for my AMH and SA results 😒 thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that out, it really is helpful! I also looked into my ccg criteria for previous cycles and it says ‘previous cycles whether self funded or NHS funded will be taken into consideration when assessing a couples ability to benefit from treatment and will count towards the total number of cycles that may be offered on the nhs’ .. however, i would be entitled to 3 full cycles so it might still be worth doing a private one first, will speak to hubby tonight. Thanks again for all your help! Enjoy all that alcohol won’t you ☺️ X

LADIES
Just got my AMH results. They wouldn’t give us the SA results over the phone because we need to wait our turn with the appointment but I managed to get the AMH and it’s a slightly concerning 10.7 .. she seemed to think it was on the low side but that it wasn’t indicative of how successful IVF may be for me, as it just means they might not retrieve as many eggs but it’s all about the quality. Do you all mind sharing your results with me please? X

Sorry … might help to say that I’m 32 a month today x

Hi Ladies

Sorry for the radio silence i have been having rough few weeks, you all get it i just feel so hopeless and depressed at the.moment its taking over my life and cant seem to escape the black cloud.

I have read your messages and thinking of you all. @Tinkerbell098 sending so much love @lemons44 so sorry to read your update hopefully your appointment with Dr Ramsey will be positive and you will get booked in asap!

@Koalie - sorry about your bfn, i am 9dpo and not feeling positive. I have been thinking about ivf aswell but seriously considering looking at going abroad i will have to weigh the costs up. Even if i go via NHS as @Tinkerbell098 has said the waiting round is torture especially if it dies t work out and you are waiting months in between

I am almost 35 and my AMH is 9.7 - low end but my follicle count has always been good so i think AMH isn't used in isolation but does give an indication as to how you may respond.

Its all so exhausting and draining - thinking of you all x

@Koalie mine was 10.7 and I was 32 at the time. It was deemed low but fine by the NHS and they said it wouldn't make a difference for natural conception but could mean we are less likely to retrieve lots of eggs, so that sounds similar to your explanation. I spoke to a specialist and he said it was fine for my age but he suggested not waiting more than 6 months to kick start IVF, especially as we were trying for baby no.1 which did help me timeline wise in my head.

@Koalie we are London based. We had all the basics required referral by 3rd week in January and we would have started mid August (although could have started a bit sooner, we were just not ready). All funding was in place by March, HSG April, nurse consultation June with various consultations before that. I thought it was actually all quite quick. Really worth ringing up for cancellations a lot. I skipped the Q a number of times doing this. X

@Koalie regarding AMH, mine was 12.6 at the start of the year and I was 36 at the time. It was deemed low for my age. However, the cut off AMH for IVF at my clinic is 5, so don't think it would matter at this stage. It's just an aid for the clinic to figure out the stims dosage and how many eggs you'd egg in a cycle etc.

Thank you for all your responses re AMH! I’m feeling a little better about my result now after some hardcore google searching 😆 AF arrived today so I’ve had baileys in my coffee this morning and baked myself some muffins.

@NatW2021 what DPO are you now? Sorry to hear you’re struggling to escape the black fertility cloud ☹️ It’s just awful isn’t it? 💔

@FlyOnTheWall89 how funny that your AMH was exactly the same as mine! I did what you suggested and called sub fertility. Managed to persuade her to book me in for my next telephone apt to discuss results for the 1st Dec but she said to keep calling in and checking for cancellations which she’s gunna wish she never said cause I’m gunna be calling her ever hour on the hour lolll. Ok maybe not but did you find there was a better day/time to call?

@Tinkerbell098 thanks for your response! How are you feeling today? Will you be getting any more bloods drawn at the EPAU? X

@Koalie sorry AF's here, but Baileys and coffee sounds like a nice treat! You are tempting me now :) I have been drinking pretty much every night since I started the bleed and my OH is a bit concerned as I was never so much into alcohol pre miscarriage. Maybe I do need to calm down a bit. Hope you get a cancellation slot to speed things up a bit. EPU will only do bloods if a HPT still came back positive. Stupidly I forgot to collect my FMU this morning, so need to wait until tomorrow morning to let them know if it's negative. I hope it is anyway so I can move on and have a regular cycle. I can't start my next frozen round until my cycles are back. I'm still bleeding (been a week now), not much, but still needing at least a panty liner.

Hope everyone's having a good Monday!

@Tinkerbell098 - Hope you are ok - it just feels like your are constantly waiting round for something doesn't weather thats for your period to start/stop, treatment etc. i am really struggling with this atm.

@Koalie i am 12/13dpo - BFN so another failure, not had 1 positive test In 15 months/17/18 cycles ive lost count. Just gutted first cycle of letrozole didn't help and now ive lost all hope for the next 2 cycles as i was only given 3 months. Sorry AF showed up, sometimes i prefer for it to show up and get it over with, its this bit of my cycle i hate the most when you know your not pregnant but just have to wait for it turn up. X

I have been thinking alot over the weekend about IVF and when do we bite the bullet and go for it. Do we give it longer naturally or get the ball rolling after xmas/spring. We aren't getting any younger, i know theres no guarantees and IVF isnt the quickest of experiences plus the mental toll this is taking. I was looking at the access fertility refund package

Thank you @Carla2601 that's really useful to know. We have our appointment with Mr Ramsay today so then will hopefully know a date for our SSR or will at least get reassurance that they can perform it for us.

I had already told the clinic I am planning to review them on every platform so nobody else has to go through our experience but they don't seem to care. Their argument is they have done nothing wrong because they are not doing the procedure on DH at the clinic as he is deemed too high risk with his medical condition. My argument is they failed to spot this earlier (it had been 4 months when they said the couldn't do it!) and subjected him to unnecessary medical checks, which shows a failure of care, failure to check medical notes and incorrect medical advice! But we've reached an impasse where they are refusing to admit they've done anything wrong and to be honest I have ran out of steam! I've given up with them now and they have written us a formal letter closing the issue and I just can't be bothered to reply. They have refunded the money for the SSR and £250 compensation but still not refunded the SSR screening tests (for STIs etc) as they are arguing these are transferable.

I'm waiting for a few weeks to calm down and complaining to HFEA about them instead.

As soon as I get our refund I will review them.

@Koalie sorry AF arrived ☹️ my AMH was 14 I believe so not much different to everyone on here, we all seem very similar. I read it only drops by something like 0.2 a year as well so no need to panic about it going down for a while yet.
Baileys is a fabulous idea! x