Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

@pcmod dam I already posted my chart my heads all over the place today

Hi Ladies, can I join? I'm 39 ( will be 40 in January). Had my 2nd MMC in 7 months back in early May. Currently getting some basic bloods done at the GP. Pretty convinced it's my duff old eggs that's the issue..😫 xx

@traceyann44 Yes it is confusing, if it has started early. You never know might just be a weird one off. I know conditions have to be perfect with temping, so something might have thrown you out for the day.

@calimc83 Hello and welcome to the group. Sorry for your losses, that is really tough. Lovely to have you join us though. You sound similar to me, when I was 39 I had two miscarriage, and also an ectopic as well as a chemical pregnancy. No reason found from the testing. But then got pregnant with my little boy. No intervention, nothing different but got that good egg. Had a great pregnancy after the first trimester and now got a gorgeous little boy running round. So it is still possible to get that good egg.
I’m back in a similar position now, so far two more losses since we started ttc again. Bit worrying as I know it’s now 3 years down the line, so all the risks have increased more. But still saying hopeful I’ve got another good egg somewhere. It’s positive that I can get pregnant, but then an extra element of upset when they are not viable as it is more time lost. Currently trying to stay positive, eat well, exercise and taking a whole loads of supplements as suggested by ‘it starts with the egg’, in the hope that will make the next one successful.

@Musomama1
Wow, 25 weeks that’s amazing, congratulations! Loved that stage of pregnancy when you got all the scans done, and can hopefully relax and enjoy the pregnancy.
Know what you mean about dtd when you’re ttc. It really can take all the fun out of it and make it really pressured. Sounds like a good way to manage all that. Might have to stock up on a few items in case we run into similar difficulties. Having a little one doesn’t help either, a two year old is an extremely effective method of contraception!

@pcmod well thinking about it I didn’t sleep well at all last night tossed and turned kept waking up for no reason we will see what tomorrows test dose and if it drops more I know af is coming

Thank you 💟, lol yes toddlers are excellent contraceptive methods!!

Yes I agree, it's meant DTD can just be for dtd (!), but every couple and situation works differently, luckily DH was onboard with it all. Good luck and save those yoghurt pots 😜

@pcmod Thank you, you don't know how much your post has helped me. I really appreciate that..feeling a bit more hopeful now. I'm sorry to hear you have had some further losses since your pregnancy. How do you manage to cope with subsequent losses? I'm definitely not as down this time around but it still hit me very hard. I have a feeling DH will say this is our last shot ( which makes me even more anxious). Im also on all the supplements from that book and I've just started acupuncture in the hope that helps me. I feel like it really is a case of catching that evasive, lucky egg x

So this morning my yemp
went up abit not a lot I still think af will be here soon but at least it didn’t drop anymore

Really glad I could help @calimc83. I know it’s tough when you’ve had losses to stay hopeful but it really is still possible. I’ve lurked on this thread for a while and seen other ladies have successful pregnancies. Hopefully we’ll be seeing some more soon. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things as well. I’ve heard a few people mention acupuncture but never tried it. How are you finding it?
Re the losses it sounds really brutal but I have found it gets easier with time. It is still hard but I find I manage better. I guess I’ve become quite clinical so don’t really get attached or hopeful till I know it’s viable. I don’t do any planning, or look at development on an app or anything like that. Though I know that’s not something everyone can do. I sometimes worry I’ve become a bit hardened! I get early scans as well so find out about problems earlier on and think that helps.
That is also tough with the dh, don’t think anybody needs the extra pressure of thinking it’s the last shot if it can be avoided. I’m a bit worried that my dh is starting to waver on continuing ttc. I can see why, it is tough, but I’m really not ready to give up yet! I’m really hoping once things have settled he’ll be on board.
@traceyann44 I’d forgotten how confusing temping can be, it’s never straightforward and never what you expect. How did you get on today?

@pcmod hey I’m 14 dpo cramping like af is going to start any min temp
went down just a bit but not like my doom drop I did test this afternoon and got a faint line but I’m not calling it yet because of these af cramp like pains thank you so much for asking about me

Hi @traceyann44 that looks like a faint positive to me...?

Re: the cramps. I also had a BFP, didn't want to post it here as I've just joined this group (we have been trying for years - wish I'd found it sooner). Since the BFP I have been expecting AF due to the cramps. However - and maybe this is not your first child, if so ignore - from my previous (successful) pregnancy with our daughter I remember period like cramps and having the same issues. So if helpful I think you are feeling the right things.

@traceyann44 Really feel for you, must be very frustrating. It certainly looks like a positive test but if you have higher levels of hcg then I guess it’s really hard to know. Whilst the temp drop, whilst small, doesn’t sound ideal. It’s must be really hard to have any idea what’s going on. Fingers crossed for some good news today.
Thats amazing news on the bfp @WonderWoop congratulations. Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months.

Thanks ladies but my temp dropped quite a bit this morning but still no af and haven’t tested this morning as my afternoon tests are better so I might test later today to just wait and see what the day brings or are what tomorrows temp dose this is my temp this morning looking at that I’d say af was on the way but I’ve seen temps drop when people have been pregnant too but I suppose no af is a good sign and cramps are quite intense tbf it’s like I’m bleeding with af cramps but not bleeding if ya get me thanks ladies for your advice

@traceyann44 Its like torture all this waiting and trying to work out what’s going on. Does look like a big drop but you just never until af turns up. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that it’s good news still.

@pcmod it is a bit of a drop lol but I’ve been shopping and put a pad on in case I did come on and not long got back and still nothing I’ve brought some cheapy tests to do but I think there the higher like 25ml the ones I’ve been using are only 10ml and above so I might just wait and see if my temp drops more tomorrow and then I won’t bother testing or if and shows up sometime today I normally spot a day or 2 before full af and I’ve had nothing so we shall see how are you anyway x

@traceyann44 It really is a waiting game with all this. Hope it’s not driving you too mad!
I’m okay thanks for asking. Having a bit of a tough day. It’s so horrible with losses, really miss being pregnant. Fed up of not knowing if/when I’ll be pregnant again, never mind actually get to have a baby. It’s crazy how some days it just seems to be all I can think about. Think it’s just been one of those days were there seems to be pregnant women and babies everywhere. Popped into matalan , just for some basic stuff, but ended up walking past the baby section by accident. Just heartbreaking seeing all the little clothes I should have been needing soon and thinking how all that has been snatched away again!
Letting myself wallow a bit today, I’ll kick in with a bit more of a positive attitude tomorrow!

@pcmod oh I know how you feel I have lost 3 baby angels and it’s heartbreaking to have to go through it so many times we shouldn’t have to go through it it’s horrible … I have down days and always think why me but it’s not why me is it it’s other women go through it as well we don’t realise this when we’re going through it but we get through it don’t we we’ll try anyway I hope you get your bfp real soon …

and yes it’s doing my head in a bit trying to forget about it then I think I’m 15 dpo been testing since 12 dpo with faint lines not getting any darker at this point still no af temps dropping crampy oh god you name I have it all this month and to top it off I was like what can I have to eat so i ended up with a pot noodle and it gave me belly ache and then I went to throw it all back up what’s the deal I’m curious to see my temp tomorrow or if af starts also I never seem to get a good line with FMU afternoon tests are better for me .

chin up lovely we will all get there eventually x

So temp went up a bit this morning I did take it an hr later I slept in lol still no af cramping was quite intense this morning so I do feel like it’s going to come here’s my chart 16 dpo on a 33 dc normal for me is 29/30 dc but I did ovulate late so that really makes my af late right

Thanks @traceyann44 for your kind words. Sorry you’ve been through this yourself so many times. It really is horrible to lose a little one. You’re right of course it’s not just us, sadly lots of women have the experience of loss. It can just feel so lonely at the time. My husband is trying to be supportive but I think for him he moved on quite easily. A pregnancy is quite theoretical for him, I tell him I’m pregnant and we got to see the little baby on the screen but not sure it really seems real for him until a baby is born. I however very much felt pregnant, and knew I had my little one growing inside me and now I just feel so very empty!
I’ve got lots of be grateful for though. Got my gorgeous little boy who is just wonderful. Trying to focus on the positive that I can at least get pregnant, just need to hold on till I get that elusive healthy egg! Plus we’ve all got each other, and it is really good to know I can offload to others who can relate to exactly how I’m feeling.
Does that mean you’ve made it to 16 dpo today? That sounds promising that it is a least lasting this long. How many dpo does your period usually start?

@pcmod Hope you are ok lovely? I think you give out some really good advice - when I get my BFP this time around ( I'm trying to be more positive 😬) I'm absolutely not downloading any apps or even working out my DD as it just makes it 100 times worse when u get all those notifications etc flashing up..just managed to unsubscribe the other day. I'll start scans from 6 weeks as well. Thank you again and wishing u all the luck in the world xxx

@pcmod your very welcome and your right you do feel alone when it happens but I suppose god has other plans for us better ones you have a positive attitude about this and as long as you feel that anything is possible.

yes 16 dpo today my period normally comes between 29/30 days but I did ovulate late this month on cd 17 which I normally ovulate on cd 12/14 so maybe this is why my period is late x

Hey lovelies,
sorry I’ve been quiet, been trying to keep my mind off the impending IVF and stay busy so that I don’t let me anxiety get in the way of it all!!
I got a BFN at 13DPO on Friday so defo no last minute miracle!! Meh!!
my body is confused as hell having started taking the pill - AF was due yesterday and I’ve been spotting a bit and getting all the usual symptoms 🙄 plus the DHEA is turning me into a greasy sporty teenager 😩😩
I can’t wait for the stims 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️
im excited to get a relaxing week away in Spain for the retrieval but it’s a pile of stress as I need to make sure my restaurant is sorted with me being away - staffing has been a bloody nightmare lately!!! 😵‍💫
OH is constantly on my case that we’re understaffed and I’m doing too much myself but I’ve got no choice!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫
meditation is my friend right now!!! 🤣🤣

how are you all?? xX

So I’m 16 dpo had lines on hpt a couple of days ago and later this afternoon I start spotting so wth were those lines did I have another cp I did test this afternoon and got a shadow so I think af will make appearance properly tomorrow it’s so stressful even my temP went up a bit today giving me false hope oh we’ll see how this spotting goes otherwise on to next month 😢

@calimc83 I’m okay thank you, been a tough few days but feeling better. I love your positive attitude, think I’ll start trying to use “when I’m pregnant”, see it as a definite to look forward to.

@traceyann44 Gosh this really is a confusing month for you! At least you should know one way or another soon, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

@Kelb79 Sorry to hear about the bfn, that is really disappointing. Rubbish that the build up to the ivf is so stressful as well. Was reading about DHEA sounds like it’s an amazing addition to the process but imagine that it been a hormone and then starting the pill again must be strange for your body. That alongside the work stuff does sound tough. Have you got a date you’re due to go to Spain? Can imagine it all feels a lot. Also sounds very exciting though, hopefully the start of your pregnancy journey! Just hope it settles down and becomes a bit less stressful. Hopefully once you get to Spain it’ll feel much nicer.

After feeling a bit low I’m feeling a bit more positive after reading some more of ‘it starts with the egg’. I find it really encouraging to read that there are things I can do to improve my chances. Has anyone got any other recommendations for books, activities, supplements, etc? I feel much more positive if I feel like I’m taking action.