Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

Thank you for the welcome @October1979 and for the advice. I’ll see how my GP is when I get an appointment. If they seem ok with suggestions I’ll mention it as a possible. I’m new to this surgery after moving last year, so not sure what the GPs there are like. Fingers crossed as that would be a fantastic solution.

Hello. Hope it's okay if I join. I'm 40 (41 in a couple of months) and am ttc #2. My DD is 2. Took about 11 months with dd (with 1 chemical in that time) but we have now hit 12 months and not a sniff this time.

There always seems to be something that crops up in fw which stops us dtd as much as we should- illness, work trips, dd not sleeping.....

I think I'm currently 3 dpo.

Good luck to all x

Hi @RockingGazelle wishing you lots of luck in you tww! x

@yellowloafers welcome to the group. My GP was helpful in some ways and agreed to refer us the fertility clinic quite quickly but refused to prescribe progesterone. We're just waiting for our feedback from fertility tests but think our issue is poor age related egg quality.
Good Luck to you on your journey x

@RockingGazelle welcome to the group too. I was so scared and anxious about being referred to the fertility clinic, I thought they'd tell us we have no hope. I couldn't have been more wrong they are amazing and whilst they agree its unlikely we'll conceive with my eggs there are other options to consider.
Good Luck to you on your TTC journey x

Hey everyone ❤️
welcome to newbies - dichotomy…. I’m sorry you’re in the situation to find yourself here BUT here is a great place for all the support you need through this shitty ride!!!

@YellowLoafers i have a short cycle too (25/26 days) although my ovulation has been proved and gives a 14 day luteal phase I can’t help but think it’s too short still and could be my issue. I started acupuncture and Chinese meds 2 months ago and this cycle (currently CD4) I’ve seen some changes… cycle up to 27 days, less cramps around AF, no spotting prior to AF, no CD1 migraine or night sweats (which were super regular for me!) and a much healthier flow. I used to spot that horrible brown colour then get quite a light, shirt flow with clots then spot out if it. This flow happened quickly, bright red, lots of good consistency blood and lasted a day longer. I can’t help but think this is all positive 👍🏼 It doesn’t come cheap though unfortunately but potentially cheaper than IVF so I reasoned it was worth a go.

my “being ok with my due date” went seriously down the drain! I held it together all day yesterday because I had to but then totally snapped. OH was intentionally horrible to push me there I think. I feel like I’ve cried myself inside out! Total mess!! Eurgh!!! But I feel like I’ve maybe taken some steps forward in it all 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

@Kelb79 I'm so so sorry you're having a shitty time and OH doesn't sound overly helpful or supportive, apologises if that's out of line.
The acupuncture and chinese meds sound like they're having a positive effect on you which can only be a good thing, fingers crossed you get the outcome you're looking for soon x

Thanks for the welcomes, I really appreciate it. I’ve found TTC a bit of a lonely road.

@DOB78 Good luck to you also, sending lots of positive vibes your way. I must admit I’m hoping GP refers me quickly too. Not to sound dismissive of GP services, but it’ll feel like a delay to the journey unless I fluke a GP with a special interest and knowledge of fertility. I’m dreading the “go away and try longer with OPKs” or similar response 😔

@Kelb79 That sounds positive, especially the no spotting. Any improvement to AF is welcome to make it arriving a bit less crap! Fingers crossed for you and I’m so sorry due date hit hard. I can’t imagine how painful it is, so sending love x

@DOB78 I'm trying not to think about it if I'm honest, I've never wanted af to arrive before!

@oxfordinwinter85 it's never easy with announcements when we are all stuck in limbo land!! With temping you just need to take your temp at the same time every morning before you get out of bed with a basal thermometer and record it on an app, you'll see a temp rise once you've ovulated so just make sure you carry on dtd for a couple of days after that. For the opk I use Femometer tests from Amazon, some people find they work better in morning and some afternoon but just start using them about cd6/7 once a day then you should see a rise then peak before your temp raises 🤞🏻 the apps work on a standard 28day cycle with a 14 day Lp so unless you use opk and temp to check they could be totally out on ovulation

@YellowLoafers hi and welcome, I did the same as you for a while but spoke to my gp at the beginning of last year and had loads of tests, I'm now with a consultant and on clomid tablets to help ovulation. It's definitely worth doing and if your gp isn't helpful ask to speak to another one, which I also did and got a lot more help!

@RockingGazelle hi and welcome, have you been to your gp to get some tests done?

@Kelb79 sorry to hear you had a bad time but getting it all out is hopefully a good thing

@Marvellouslymadmum thank you 🙏
My cycles are usually 24/25 days on average...
I'm going to use some ovulation tests and I've started temping.
I think I'm out this round as I had some brown sort of discharge and I reckon AF is about to appear.
A little concerned my cycles are short.
I have been out running a lot this month of l t know if exercise impacts?

Im thinking next cycle to DTD every other day after AF ...

Thank you @Marvellouslymadmum I’m going to call the surgery tomorrow and hopefully start the ball rolling. DP knows I’m stressed about it and so said we should have initial tests done privately if they aren’t helpful. But I have no idea if going private for that stage would help or hinder the journey. Wishing you lots of luck too, glad you’re under a consultant and fingers crossed you’re nearly there.

@oxfordinwinter85 I don't think exercise effects it unless you're talking extreme exercise. Every other day is a good pan if you can do it, that's what we aim for most months though when it's a stupid long cycle like this one we do end up slipping here and there!

@YellowLoafers definitely try the gp first I found mine surprisingly helpful even though I'm older! If not private tests work too and are generally alot quicker so may be worth it

@YellowLoafers i was so much more stressed before biting the bullet and starting testing. It will help to ease your mind about all the possibilities. You can rule things out and just maybe pinpoint any issues (maybe not in many cases but you might be lucky to find a solution that helps you get pregnant)
GPs will refer you straight away considering your age - they don’t like to mess around these days!
it depend on how things are in your area as to whether you might want to go private to get things moving faster. Things were super quick where I am, we just got horrifically held up by lockdowns etc!
go for it! It’s easier than you might think 🙏🏼

@DOB78 you’re right - OH has definitely not been helpful! But he’s stupidly sensitive and is dealing with quite a lot so I tend to give him a slightly wider berth 😏 it makes things a lot harder though! We’ve managed to talk a lot this last few days at least, it’s all been brought to a head

CD6 today - start of predicted fertile window. Here we go again! 🙄

AF arrived...😕 and it's a short cycle this time ...22 days. It's usually 24/25.
I'm going to really try and not overthink it this next attempt.

Hi, hope everyone is well, could I possibly join? I’m 40 in august

I’m 42. Been trying officially since Feb. Had a MC in dec, but that wasn’t planned - although a happy surprise !
my partner (who is 10yrs my junior) has a very low sex drive so we’re only managing about 4x a month :( I have two teenagers from another marriage and fell off immediately with them but was a lot younger !!
feeling pretty down with yet another negative test today, and feel like time is running out for me :(
I don’t understand any of the abbreviations but am on CD21 AF due in 4 days. But tested today with an early test and it was neg.

@yellowloafers I think the recommendation is a referral to a Fertility Clinic after 6 months of active TTC after 40. We'd put it off mostly due to my anxiety but I really wish we hadn't. We had to wait 4 months for our initial appt now another 2 months for feedback. It doesn't seem to be a quick process.
@Marvellouslymadmum hopefully af will arrive soon.
@Kelb79 I hope you don't think I was out of line. Tell me about it OH has walls thicker than Fort Knox!! I'm glad you're talking to each other but sorry it had to get to this point.
@Room4onemore hiya and welcome to the group. Good Luck to you x
@Bluelightbaby Welcome to the group. I have the same problem with OH and low sex drive although he's been better the last 2 months. Good Luck to you x

3dpo today, cycle 13 hopefully a lucky number for me! I am NOT testing early this month.......🤔🤭🤨😬

Morning ladies 3 dpo today confirmed with opks and temp I’m going to promise myself not to test early this month how’s every one doing ?

I’ve been long here on this thread, but haven’t posted much. I’ve been doing to Acupuncture since January, taking Ubiquinol. Nothing yet.

@DOB78 i absolutely don’t think you were out of line lovely 😘😘😘 OH can be a total arse at times!!! I love him to the ends of the earth but he drives me potty!!! 🤣🤣

@GingerFox2021 I’ve been doing acupuncture too, and Chinese meds! No BFP yet but My cycle lengthened by a day, my PMS symptoms became much better and my flow got super healthy so it’s definitely doing something 👌🏼 I’m sticking with it 😁

@Bluelightbaby big love chick xX I’ve been through times of low interest from OH whilst TTC and it’s so tough!!! Seduction all the way 😏

@Room4onemore always room for one more lovely xxxx

so I haven’t actually told OH yet but I was making enquires about IVF in Spain and i (genuinely!!) inadvertently booked a consultation….. for the 23rd!!!! Of this month!!!! 😳😳 I totally didn’t mean to actually book it!!! I was just asking questions 🤣🤣🤣 I need to talk to OH about it now 🫣🫣

@Kelb79 oh I completely understand that! Whoops but maybe you "accidentally" booking gives you the opportunity to have that discussion. I was amazed by how quick the process is outside the uk.
Mine refuses to talk about anything until we've had our feedback on 17th. I hope he's willing to listen to how you are feeling but sometimes they just don't get it do they?

It’s all gone very wrong overnight!! OH was told last night that his Dad (who he’s essentially estranged from) is pretty much dying. Obviously that’s thrown him all over the place. He’s pretty impossible to deal with in these sorts of situations - pushes me away then kicks off at me for not being there, I literally can’t do right. So we ended up in a huge bust up last night. I have no idea how to get him through this, of course I’ll do everything he needs. But TTC will obviously have to be shelved. Awful timing, but these things always are right 😕
i feel so selfish even thinking about it but this is all going to take him so long to get past, his dad hasn’t even actually died yet 🤷🏼‍♀️ That I think that’s probably it for our TTC journey 😞

@Kelb79 I'm so sorry to hear this you seem to have had such a crappy time. All you can do is be there and accept things are gonna be shitty for a while, which isn't always easy. You know you always have a safe place here to vent TTCing or not xx

Hey. Sorry been silent. It's really hard to be on the thread while I'm trying to come to terms with all this.

I contacted a clinic in the Czech Republic about donor embryos and they have told me that they cannot treat single women. They've suggested I contact a partner clinic in Finland where the law is different. Does anyone know anything about this or do you all have partners?

@JulesRimetStillGleaming Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I can't offer you any advice about what you're going through but I can listen x