Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

@Marvellouslymadmum it's one of those he has to believe its his idea or it won't happen. I'll leave a few months for it to sink in and hopefully he'll realise we can do this on our own. I'll give some thought to your idea of 1 cycle with my eggs or at least see if they're any good then donor IVF. Whatever we do it will be abroad as its cheaper and seem to have better outcomes.
I'd be in the dark with all this without this group.

@Kelb79 Wow that's awesome!!! How quick are things moving for you guys! I really hope this is a success for you both. I can't understand why it's such a slow process here and costs more, mind boggling. I had 6 follicles at my last scan so we might be able to use my eggs after all.

@October1979 that's brilliant they want a big number of eggs to give you the best chance. Hopefully they're find another donor soon and get you a BFP soon

@DOB78 I think mine is just being blindly optimistic lol which is quite unlike him in general! I'm thinking I may get to the last cycle of clomid I have then book a free consultation with one if the clinics that do online initial consults that way I'll tell him we've got nothing to lose and he can't really say no, it should then persuade him!

@Kelb79 that's amazing news!! So excited that it has all begun. Great that they were happy for you to give it a go with your own eggs as well :o)

@DOB78 your amh levels sound pretty good to me! Mine was 2.7 last august and I still produced up to 11 eggs via ivf so it isn't necessarily indicative of the number of eggs you'll get.

@October1979 sounds like you're nearly there!! It's so interesting how the process works - is there a reason why you want to have 10 rather than 7 eggs? Or just to improve the odds? I have been looking at places in the uk and it is usually 6 or 10 eggs and I'm not sure whether we'd chance it with 6. It's a lot of money if it doesn't work out!!

@Marvellouslymadmum glad to hear you are ovulating!! You really do have mega cycles, I can't believe they haven't given you more investigations on that basis alone.

We're currently trying to pick a clinic for our last round of own eggs ivf. Torn between the highly scrutinising ARGC and the less expensive and more relaxed Lister. Both had some interesting new ideas, so it's just hard to figure out which will work best for us. As it's our last round it feels like an important decision...

Ladies I don't know where else to go for support as we didn't tell anyone I was pregnant yet. I'm 8w+4 and yesterday was feeling sad due to pregnancy symptoms feeling reduced (not tired, not dizzy, not sick) so we went for a private scan and there's nothing there. Just an empty sack. Still not heard from my NHS trust for my initial booking so don't know what I'm meant to do except sit and wait to hear from them. I feel really hopeless. I'm 42 and had already decided before I got my + that this was my last go because the OPKs and BD is exhausting and not fun. I'm just low and just want to shrivel up and hide. Sorry for the negativity. I just need a space where I can be honest. Thank you. I hope everyone else is faring better.

@Marvellouslymadmum I think I'll end up just booking it and telling him we've got an appointment!! He's always optimistic and positive, like loving with tigger sometimes......

@99pctpractice Wow that's amazing 11 eggs! I'd given up hope of trying with my own eggs but it sounds like this might be an option. Thanks for giving me some hope.

@dollymixture31 I'm so so sorry, you're going through this. It might with worth calling an Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit for advice. This is a safe place to be sad we've all been there at some point, this is a place for hand holding, virtual hugs and plenty of shoulders if needed xxx

@dollymixture31 I'm so sorry. It's absolutely devastating to go through, especially when you feel like your age is against you. Agree with @DOB78 that you should call or go to your epu and they'll help you figure it out. try to be kind to yourself this weekend and give yourself a bit of time to process. Sending lots of hugs xxx

@DOB78 @99pctpractice thank you both. I didn't think of that. The sonographer said i should call them if I start to get pain or bleed, but I could call anyway for advice. Thank you.

@dollymixture31 I'm so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you. It's heartbreaking 💔 Take lots of care this weekend. I too would phone my epu xx
@99pctpractice I think 10 is the minimum they do to increase the odds. My friend had 2 rounds with fresh donor eggs in Spain . First round got 18 from her donor and second 15. Both times she got 2 normal embryos for transfer with PGS testing. So I'm thinking 10 is probably our clinics minimum to increase the odds. They guarantee two blasts. So maybe they need that many to get to that stage?
My big worry is with my window of opportunity. I really want to do this next cycle and worry if they won't due to not having enough eggs. I'm a teacher. So it would be the start of my holidays and would give me time to rest and get strong if it works or get over if it doesn't without everyone knowing at work xx

@99pctpractice the guarantee from our clinic is 2 blasts for transfer. Maybe they use a minimum of 10 to make sure they achieve that without having to do the whole thing again at their expense?

@dollymixture31 im so so sorry lovely ❤️❤️ I had an MC at the same stage last year after seeing a heartbeat on an nearly scan a week earlier. It’s devastating. Please get help, the EPU is probably your go to. Just sitting and waiting is awful. We’re all here to talk to but it’s good if you can confide in a friend/family member - MC is so so difficult and you need as much support around you as possible. Know that’s it ok not to be ok, anyone that hasn’t been through it can’t quite understand. I know I didn’t. Take care of yourself and give yourself all the love and time you need. Sending love xxxxxxx

@October1979 and @99pctpractice ….. I’m in the anxious phase I think!! To only get 2 embryos from 15/18 eggs? 😳 They counted 7 follicles at my scan….. I‘m waiting for the results of the tests on Tuesday but I was told last year that my AMH is 13 - god knows what that means as they seemed to be using a different scale 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ But they said it was equivalent to that of a 30 year old 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
im freaking out about only having 7 follicles though….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

@Kelb79 don't freak out. It was only 2 when she went down the PGS test route. She had at least 6 - 5 day blasts before the testing. They also had male factor. So it may have been more without that. I've heard of lots of women with 2/3 eggs it works for. It's a lottery, it's all about that 1 egg. All more eggs give you is more chances. I think 7 is a great number. Your amh is great. Trust your doctors xx

😵‍💫😵‍💫 I so hope so!!
we’re going the PGT route too - I really want to reduce the risk of MC as much as I can (and we got it included free as a Mother’s Day offer!! 😳😳) - I don’t think I could deal with another MC, it completely broke me!
Praying we get through each phase with something 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@Kelb79 I'm sure you will. Fingers crossed for you xxx

@Kelb79 @October1979 thank you both so much for your kind words. Just need to get through the next few weeks and regroup and figure out what's next.

im having a bit of a freak out today 😵‍💫 been feeling really good and positive about the IVF but had my test results back today. Consultant said all fine but when I looked at the results my AMH is only 0.5 ☹️🤷🏼‍♀️ This isn’t good right??

last year I was told it was well above average for my age so this has come as a huge shock!! Now I’m questioning whether we should be spending so much money 😵‍💫

total headf@ck 😐

@Kelb79 I think AMH changes month to month but I'm not sure how it works. Did the Clinic give you any other feedback about it?

I'm sorry you feel like this TTC is a terrible roller coaster

@Kelb79 what's the measurement of amh pmol/l or pmol/ng? Did your consultant say what your chances were based on results from your tests? Xxx

@Kelb79 they are a results based business. They want success. If they thought your amh was an issue they would suggest other options. Try not to worry and stay positive.

On other news they identified my second donor. She sounds amazing on paper. Even the same hobbies as me. We are all set to start next cycle xxx

@October1979 ng/ml ?? They’re saying all my test results are fine and they’re happy to proceed 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
fab news about your doner!! Full steam ahead then?? 🥰🥰🥰

@Kelb79 the attached photo says above0.3 is good for ivf. So try to stop worrying. Amh says nothing about egg quality. Try to stay positive. Yes full steam ahead for us. Hopefully the start of July for transfer xxx

@October1979 thank you!! I’ve worn google out today!! 😵‍💫
you actually really hit home with your results based comment - you’re so right!! I was thinking of them as profit based and really hadn’t factored in how important results are to them 🙏🏼🙏🏼
eeeek!! July for transfer is amazing!! We’re 11-16th July for retrieval. There’s definitely a huge benefit in going with donor eggs and skipping that part 😂 fast track!! If all goes well we’ll be August transfer I would imagine 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Hi ladies

Sorry, I’d gone back to lurking on the thread again. I’ve found this cycle really hard.

But…I wanted to pull my head out of my own ttc obsessed arse and check in! I’ve been keeping up with your updates and I’m keeping everything crossed!

And @dollymixture31 I’m so sorry, sending you love xx

@YellowLoafers thank you so much for your kindness. Yesterday I went through the thread and at least started to feel better after reading some of the positive stories and journeys others are currently on. It doesn't just help knowing others have been where I am but it also raises my spirits to hear their own progress. Much warmth and positivity to everyone here x

I feel exactly the same @dollymixture31 I find a lot of comfort in this thread ❤️

Had a message back from my consultant… they said that, although the donor egg route would be quicker and potentially easier, they are confident that there is a chance to achieve success with my own eggs.
Apparently AMH is used as an indicator of how many follicles a woman will have for treatment - they’ve done scans that showed 7 pre-stims and are happy with that, egg quality can’t be predicted at all.
so onwards and upwards I guess!! I’ve booked my flights for the retrieval 🫣🫣
trying to stay positive so hitting up podcasts and meditations and getting everyone on board with positive vibes 🙏🏼
also…. I found out that my blood type (O positive) is actually susceptible to issues with low egg count and quality 😳😳 who knew?! 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

how is everyone today?? any nice plans for the weekend? I run a restaurant so work work work for me!! 🙄