Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

[Kelb79]

@99pctpractice ohmygod!! I so wish someone had sat me down and given me some home truths!!! My mum always told me that she hit menopause late and we’re supposed to follow our mums so I believed that and just didn’t worry 🙄 like it’s that simple!! Meh!!
I didn’t meet my OH until 4 years ago (we’ve been TTC for 3 of those ffs!! 🤦🏼‍♀️) and I just assumed it would all be fine!! Even when I finally got pregnant last year I, in no way, believed that an MC would happen to me 🤷🏼‍♀️
a friend of mine who is 30 has been having a full fertility work up with her partner so that they can make an informed decision on when to have kids!! Damn I wish I was that savvy!!! 🙄
have you looked at clinics abroad? The clinic I’m going to in Alicante is supposed to be the world leader for over 40s and difficult cases where people have had failed IVF rounds

@traceyann44 im so sorry she got you lovely 😞 it’s always the worst feeling! Sending love xX

@DOB78 what do you think your timeline might be now? Are you looking at clinics?

@October1979 how are you feeling? You must be so excited!!!

12DPO and BFN today so im gonna stop testing and focus on this consultation! We fly out tomorrow 😳😳😳😳

[October1979]

@Kelb79 yes feeling excited and surprisingly calm. They have matched me with a donor and have eggs already frozen and OH sample too so it's just about timing. Just trying to work out if I should go with next cycle or the cycle after. I am going to talk to the clinic next week to come up with a plan xx

[DOB78]

@Kelb79 @99pctpractice I'm feeling quite positive about going for donor IVF but OH keeps shutting me down when I try and talk about it. He thinks we should just keeping trying on our own, seriously if I didn't kinda need him a little bit I'd just take myself the clinic!!
I've looked at a few Clinics in Prague, Spain and Greece its difficult trying to balance success rates with costs. I think whatever we do we'll have to get a loan as we don't have any savings, which is rubbish really.

Today is the start of fertile week and I usually tell OH that I'm going to start OPK coz its nearly "that" time😉 but I haven't for the first time in a year.

I've started taking 200mg Ubiquinol and I've ordered folate with B12 not sure what that's gonna do but if we're going to keep trying I'll do as much as I can.

Apologises for the essay x

[traceyann44]

Now I am confused I’ve had what I call a normal period I am now cd 5 with spotting and I don’t know what made me test but I got this yesterday I don’t know what to think at 20 dpo I also might be one of theses women that carry hcg in there bodies I don’t know

[October1979]

@traceyann44 I can definitely see a faint coloured line. Have you tried another brand maybe a frer? As sometimes these tests can cause evap lines. Good luck x

[traceyann44]

No I haven’t tested with any other brand think I will test again later and see what that says I’m not sure what to think because I’m having a normal period but my daughter was having periods up till she was 4 months which was when she actually found out she was pregnant so I’ll test again but I also see colour in this even more so when I tweaked it this was a tweaked one

[traceyann44]

Tweaked one

[DOB78]

@traceyann44 Have you spoken to your GP? It might with worth getting a blood test done see if they check HCG levels

[traceyann44]

My doctors don’t do blood tests for pregnancy only urine test … the only time I had blood test for pregnancy was at the early pregnancy unit they checked it there and when I miscarried to see if my levels were going down .

[DOB78]

@traceyann44 maybe request a full blood screening and ask them to add HCG not necessarily for pregnancy but to see if there's always a low level amount there, just a thought

[traceyann44]

I’m going to leave it I’m still getting lines but not any darker so I’m assuming I have it floating in my body

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@traceyann44 sorry af arrived for you, that's so weird with the hcg!

@DOB78 I don't think your amh is that bad, mine is 1.2!! My oh makes a great ostrich too!! We are in the same position and would have to take out a loan but it's totally worth it if it works!!

@October1979 oh my that's super fast!! I'm so pleased it's all happening for you

[DOB78]

@Marvellouslymadmum I'll be honest I don't really know what it means, I should have asked. Ah it can be a bit of a nightmare when all I wanna talk about is TTC and he doesn't. Things haven't been too good with us lately so TTC went out the window this month.
It absolutely will be and to be fair I've probably spent a small fortune already on tests, vitamins, diets and stuff. Have you looked at any clinics yet?

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@DOB78 well there are conflicting articles on it but here are two ideas on a range and an average, it basically is your ovarian reserve but unless it's 0 it means absolutely nothing as far as ttc naturally goes, it only makes a difference when it comes to egg collection and is an indicator of how many eggs you would have collected. But it's not always accurate and less likely if you've only had one apparently as it can change. I've had a look at a couple, just to get an idea of prices, haven't had the chance to talk to oh properly yet but I'm thinking I'd like to choose a clinic that has good results for our age in whichever country and try one cycle with my eggs - just incase! Then go on to donor eggs I'm just uncertain if I should get a loan that pays roughly for one of each then if we needed a third I could add some to what's left or just get enough for one then refinance it for the second round with donor 🤔
Also it looks like I'm finally ovulating! Cd90 and I had major ewcm yesterday and today!! Will keep dtd and confirm it's happened with bbt but didn't end up taking my clomid this month so will keep hold of it for next 🤷🏼‍♀️ unless it doesn't happen again of course 😂

[October1979]

@Marvellouslymadmum a lot of clinics (in uk anyway) do finance packages and refer you to companies they work with. Might be worth checking out xx

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@October1979 I will have a look, I know I'm too old for alot of uk clinics though at 43 and if I was to use a doner egg I'd definitely want to go abroad anyway xx

[DOB78]

@Marvellouslymadmum, thankyou for this, mine doesn't look too bad really! I don't think OH really understands the impact this is having we've had a huge fall out recently and I think most of it was me stressing about TTC.
I've looked at a few clinics in Prague that have good reviews and high success rates. We're away in July so I'll keep stum till after the holiday.
I hadn't really thought about ivf with my eggs, I've convinced myself they're rubbish. I like the sound of you're idea 1 with my own and 1 donor as least then we've tried everything. Finances will be a big part in our plan.

I'm so grateful for this group and all the advice, information and support here😘

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@DOB78 no problem, I am with you on that one. I know for a fact my oh has no idea how much I'm thinking of ttc and how it effects me all the time, though he does surprise me sometimes by just randomly bringing things up, he definitely thinks that eventually it will just happen naturally for us though as it did for him and his ex with their son after trying for two years! I did slip ivf abroad into the conversation earlier to which he didn't really say much but I said we should definitely do it cos then we get a couple of days away together a couple of times too 😂
Finances are a big part of ours too, from what I can work out it's more expensive for doner ivf too and though I know there's less chance with my eggs I feel like if I give it one go I've literally tried everything I can before going to doner eggs. I think I'll choose one of the clinics that guarantees you a certain amount of eggs from a doner, that way I can hopefully freeze what isn't used the first donor round for a second try.
I've honestly learned so much from this and a couple of other groups!

[Kelb79]

Sooooo…..
we started IVF yesterday!!!!! 😳😳😳
I guess if you go to look at a puppy… you’re coming home with a puppy right 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
the consultation just felt right I guess, they assumed we wanted to go ahead with donor but we said no, so they did tests and are happy to go ahead with my eggs. OHs sperm is top notch except for swimming a bit on the slow side so maybe that was our problem 🤷🏼‍♀️
they only counted 7 follicles with me but said that’s not bad and would hopefully be good enough after stims.
so I started primer meds yesterday working towards starting stims at the beginning of July and a retrieval between 11th-16th!!!!!!! 😳😳😳😳 omfg!!!
its been hugely overwhelming…. Exciting and terrifying all at once!
had some major anxiety as the pharmacy sent the wrong type of stims by mistake - same drug but we were expecting preloaded pens and they sent vials that needed mixing with no syringes or needles!! Had a drama getting hold of what we needed back here in time!! It messed my head right up about it all!!
but I went for lunch with some close friends yesterday - 2 of them are a lesbian couple who told us they’d had their egg retrieval the day before!!! I knew they had been planning IVF but they’d kept it quiet they were at that stage 😍😍
they had spare needles and syringes and could show us how to mix and administer mine 😅
all going well now!!!
so wish us luck I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@Kelb79 that's amazing news!! Wow definitely all go for you, I love how fast they like to get the ball rolling too, it's pain you went to isn't it? Hope it all goes well for
You 🤞🏻🤞🏻

[October1979]

@Kelb79 how exciting. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx
@Marvellouslymadmum sounds like a good plan. Hope you find the right place for you xx

[Kelb79]

@Marvellouslymadmum yes, Spain 👍🏼👍🏼 The clinic was like a spa! 🤣 really lovely! It just all felt right i guess 🤷🏼‍♀️ One more injection tonight then I’m just on supplements until the start of July when I start the stims! I can’t believe how quick it all is!! 😳😳
I was referred privately to my local clinic back in November and didn’t get a phone call to even book a consult until March. They said it would be conduit in April with potential treatment starting in the autumn!!
I just don’t get why it’s so different in this county??!!

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@October1979 thank you, how are you getting in? Xx

@Kelb79 it all sounds brilliant! How come there's a gap between the injections now and starting treatment? It's all so interesting finding out how all the different places work

[October1979]

@Marvellouslymadmum we have a frozen egg donor matched. But they only have 7 eggs and they want 10. So have suggested a shared donor for the additional 3. They would keep both sets of eggs separate and fertilise and see what eggs develop the best. They say it may be better as sperm sometimes takes to one donor better than the other. They problem is they haven't matched me for the additional 3 eggs. I'm hoping they find a match soon so we can go ahead on my next cycle which is due to start on the 12th June. Fingers crossed they find a match xx

[Marvellouslymadmum]

@October1979 oh that makes sense! I like the sound of the ones that give you a minimum of a certain amount of eggs, definitely gives more chance! Xx