Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

Hey all! Happy Easter!
Im in the last TWW before starting the pill cycle in prep for DE transfer! I’m obviously not expecting miracles… 4 years with only 1 natural conception has kind of killed my hopes but you never know! 🤷🏼‍♀️

@October1979 so lovely to hear updates from your little gang doing so well ❤️❤️ what is life like with triplets?? I can’t even begin to imagine 🫣🫣 it must be soooo wonderful though!!

@YellowLoafers how you getting on lovely? When’s your next scan? Rooting for those follicles!! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

@Iusedtobedontcall I so hope this is your month chick ❤️❤️❤️ you so deserve it. Sending love always xxxx

@TTCnumberfour welcome!! Sounds like some promising symptoms 🙏🏼🙏🏼 how long have you been TTC? Have you had any issues previously?

Hi All, Happy Easter! Thanks for you check ins with me, you are all ace and your support means the world ❤️ All ok here, though feeling really nervous and I’m not loving life on the progesterone pessaries 🤮🤢😂 Hoping the blood test and lining scan tomorrow morning go well and I can have then embryo transfer on Tuesday. I’ll keep you guys posted. Send me any spare good luck vibes you may have 🤞🤞

Sounds great for you and the gang @October1979 Fabulous news, they’re going from strength to strength ❤️❤️❤️

Welcome @TTCnumberfour you’re in the right place x

@Iusedtobedontcall keeping everything crossed for you, hope you enjoy your break x

@YellowLoafers omg the pessaries!!! They’re vile aren’t they?!!! 😫 although I never sleep so well as I do when taking them! 🤣
I got totally mixed up for a mo and thought you were at EC 🙄 but transfer Tuesday??!!! Waaaa!! That’s so exciting!!! 🤪🤪 hoping all is well at the lining scan tomorrow 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️

@Kelb79 vile is definitely the word! Worth it in long run, but I’m fed up of the eeewww moments and know exactly what you mean about sleeping! Transfer hopefully Tuesday, I’m so nervous about it but trying to be positive and not stress too much 🤞🤞

I am technically not 40 but will be this year. I've never had a child before. I have pcos and ovulate irregularly. One month it could be 20th. Another month it could be day 40.
Tested today at 14dpo and nope not pregnant. 2 more clomid cycles before ivf if not successful on clomid. Not sure how successful anything will be at my age. I think the pcos os the issue affecting the quality. My doctor told me w21hen I first went for testing at 36 that becsuse of pcos my eggs are likely more advanced in years . Anyone taken anything that that genuinely belive helped egg quality. I did have a chemical back last August first postive in almost 10 years and lost it after the two week wait. Literally 3 days after finding out. Im trying but can't seem to get pregnant again

Aaah good luck @Kelb79 🤞everything crossed this is the one for you!

Good luck @YellowLoafers too - hope your scan tomorrow goes well and you're on track for a transfer on Tues!! Those pessaries are the pits! My last transfer I asked to switch to lubion because they were disagreeing with me in all kinds of gross ways 🤢

@October1979 great to hear that your little ones are progressing well! I'm still so amazed that you have 3 - your arms are full in the best kind of way :o)

@Moonlight66 i don't know much about pcos but hopefully clomid will help you regulate - I have a friend who it worked wonders for, but I know it isn't the solution for everyone...i hope you are one ofthe lucky ones!

That’s lovely to hear that the little ones are doing well @October1979 . Do they have to stay in hospital for long? Must be incredible to see them all growing stronger.

Good luck to all who are progressing with IVF, especially @YellowLoafers that is so exciting you’re close to transfer. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

That sounds really tough @Moonlight66 can’t be nice to be told that about your eggs. Hope the clomid makes a difference. It’s hard to know what does help with egg quality. I’m trying to follow the ‘it starts with the egg’ approach. Though haven’t managed the diet. Can’t say I’ve noticed a difference so far, but I’m only on my second month of trying. First month I had a chemical pregnancy so not looking promising. Though I had a horrible stomach bug just after getting a positive, so wondering (or trying to convince myself) if it was due to that. I know some do swear by the approach.

Hey to all those in the 2 week wait. I’m currently about 8 dpo, though don’t track so it’s an estimate. Promised I wasn’t going to test early this month but then have lots of social things and a trip away planned. So ended up testing to make sure I wasn’t pregnant before having a drink. Going to at least keep it to every few days and try to avoid getting obsessive.

Hi All, just a quick update to say that I had the embryo transfer this afternoon! All went well, so just have to wait now. They gave me 3 pictures of the embryo taken at different points through the morning which is really cool. Official test date is 24th April which feels very far away! 🤞🤞

@YellowLoafers best of luck to you! Xx

@Moonlight66 I’ve completed my family now but I check back in on this thread to see how everyone is. I have PCOS. Well we think it’s that. Are your blood tests showing it? Mine have always come out normal however I’ve had cysts on my ovaries on scans and periods very irregular so told likely pcos. Like you, O could be day20, day40 or anything in between. It makes trying so hard so I really feel for you.

My first pregnancy was at 39 years old. Sadly I miscarried at 10 weeks. I then got pregnant the cycle after but lost it early on. We took a few months off and then I fell pregnant with my son straight away. He was born a few months before I turned 41. When he was 9 months I fell pregnant again but lost it early. We then had another two early losses in the next few months. I’d just turned 42 when I fell pregnant with my daughter. Both babies very healthy and no problems at all.

I think it’s very difficult to say if egg quality is affected by the pcos. Anyone ttc later in life will likely have less viable eggs. I think my 5 miscarriages were down to poor egg quality but maybe pcos played a part 🤷🏻‍♀️. However I must have had two healthy eggs. My son was conceived on day34 and my daughter on day28. It took a lot of temping LH sticks and perseverance to figure out when to try.

In terms of improving egg quality. We tried a Mediterranean diet which I’m sure helped when we stuck to it. I took the cheapest ubiquinol from Amazon, Proceive conception and omega 3. Also extra vitamin D.

Please don’t feel disheartened by what the doctor has said. I’m sure I read a study once about how women with pcos are fertile for longer because they release less eggs. I hope the Clomid helps regulate your cycle. I know how difficult it is ttc when your cycles are unpredictable. It was so stressful. Happy to chat to you in more detail about our journey. I’ve not tried Clomid but both my mum and sister conceived using it due to pcos. Good luck with your ttc journey. X

@YellowLoafers that’s great news about the transfer, keeping everything crossed for you that you get some great news soon. Though bless you 24th April must seem like a lifetime away! Hope you manage to get some nice distractions in to help you manage the wait. Imagine it would be a real rollercoaster from excitement to sheer frustration having to wait for those two long weeks.

@YellowLoafers amazing news!!! Got everything firmly crossed for you and will keep it that way until the 24th!! (Gawd that seems a looong time!!! I thought IVF testing was sooner 🫣🫣)

I had a full MOT today after my random mega bleed last month. Got the all clear - one tiny fibroid in a place that’s no bother but nothing else. So bleed unexplained…. Possible MC…. possible perimenopause… possible anuovulatory cycle that caused my body to dump 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️
but they did tell me that my right ovary is “done” 😳😳😳
I know my AMH is low and I know that ovary is always quieter but F. Me…. Hearing those words kinda stung!! 😐
it makes no difference now that I’m moving into DE IVF but I guess you always live in hope 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

@Catconfusion I'm 37 and still ttc my first. Your story of having your first at 39 has given me hope. The fact I'm now over 'the cliff ' is terrifying me and I know the anxiety is probably not helping. It's hard finding the right support as friends all have their babies and alot of the women I've came across on these forums are still in their 20s.
@Moonlight66 try not to feel discouraged. I understand doctors are probably trying to be realistic but they seem to lack compassion. I also had a very similar conversation, a rather upsetting consultation a year ago with the first gynaecologist I was referred to. She told me "your 36, your old and you have pcos " the whole thing was so awkward. I left feeling so depressed and cried myself to sleep that night. I seriously contemplated giving up until I came on here and I've read such positive posts from women that have shown me it's still possible to get pregnant and fertility doesn't just fall off a cliff.
I've been with my partner now 19 years and we've been trying on and off for almost 18 yrs. We have no children and no pregnancies however I did fall pregnant in december but started bleeding that same evening I got my BFP. Im just 🤞 and 🙏 it will happen again . Its really nice knowing I'm not alone In this journey

Hi everyone - going to join too if that's ok? I'm 40 - TTC baby number 2 and feeling a bit down with it all. I had a chemical in December and then 2 weeks ago lost one at 6 weeks so feeling pretty dejected. Every month that goes by I feel like I become more and more conscious of my age. I know women can and do have babies well into their 40s, but I think I've created this kind of mental barrier or cut off for myself and I'm probably focusing on age too much now as a result. I'm not ready to give up just yet but do kind of feel like I should have a cut off date, I can't keep trying forever. Does anyone else have a cut off age, or would you happily keep going until it happens for you?

@MK85 I think it was really horrible the doctor made a point of saying your age of 36 and PCOS was a problem. I’m proof women with pcos issues can become pregnant later in life. Obviously I was very lucky and maybe my pcos (no blood related diagnosis) didn’t effect ovulation enough. You deserve the support with ttc. Neither PCOS or advanced age means you can’t conceive.

I wonder whether diet is the key with pcos. When I tried a Mediterranean diet I definitely felt better. My cycles were still erratic but I wonder if it helped my egg quality. Also Inositol is supposed to be good too. In my case it seemed to make things worse but then my blood hormones were normal. It might help you though. I really hope you can find a supportive doctor and I wish you lots of luck with your journey. x

@PumpkinTruffles I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I always thought 40 was my cut off and then I met my husband at 39 and had a mmc the same year. We were lucky to have our son at 40. During our three losses while ttc my daughter I always thought 43 was my cutoff for a second. We were lucky to have her at 42. My understanding is that the chances of a healthy conception really plummet at 44. Only you will know how long you’re willing to ttc during the years when it’s most likely. It’s really stressful and of course this and losses really take their toll. However what I will say is it’s totally worth it when they’re here x

@Kelb79 sounds like a really difficult conversation. I really hope you have a surprise from your remaining side. If not good luck with the IVF. x

Thanks so much for your thoughts everyone ❤️ I thought test date would be sooner, 9 days after ish. It’s going to be tough and I’ll try not to drive you mad while I’m waiting!

@pcmod You’re spot on with what you said about how it feels. You’d think we’d all be pros in the 2WW club having gone through so many, but this definitely feels different. Probably as the embryo is there so I feel more hopeful than a normal 2WW.

@Kelb79 That must have been really tough to hear, I’m so sorry. It often feels like there are endless knocks on this path. I guess it’s good news that they didn’t find anything to do with the bleed, if they had and it was something that needed treating it would be more worry when you least need it and also potentially delay your DE journey. Fingers crossed for you!

Heeeellp!! I’m doing my own head in with that diagnosis yesterday!! Google Google Google!!!
I can’t understand why it matters to me now…. I’ve signed the forms, the donor search is starting, we’ve got a transfer date, I’m just about to pay a whole big pile of money…. But this diagnosis is making me question it all 😫😫
we’ve decided to use a donor egg…. Why does it matter that my right ovary has checked out??
and why on earth would I now wobble about the donor egg decision??!! I’ve officially been told I’ve got a lot less chance than the very low chance I already had to conceive naturally ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️ surely that should confirm my decision??!!!
OH is confused and not being particularly sensitive …. And I don’t really blame him, I’m confusing my own self 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 wtf??!!

@Kelb79 I'm sorry some medical bods are incredibly insensitive - I'm not surprised you were knocked sideways by being told that! How do they even know?

I totally get the wobbling about de - it is a big step. I have had a lot of wobbles along the way. I think my saddest point was my baseline scan when there were 9 follicles and I was devastated that we weren't even going to try to recruit them....even on transfer day, I felt a bit sad that the "textbook" embryo being implanted wasn't from my egg. I just had to remind myself that we could have continued with oe ivf indefinitely without success and neither of us could really cope with the failure anymore. And we wanted a baby more than I wanted a genetic link. Do what you feel is right for you : it's easier to delay with de than with oe because age isn't against you, so take your time to make the decision and don't feel rushed into it by someone else's timeline! Sending lots of hugs!

@PumpkinTruffles I'm so sorry for your losses - it's brutal to have to go through. we didn't set an age limit, but i think just got to a point of not wanting to put ourselves through the misery of trying or oe ivf anymore (plus I don't handle miscarriages very well!). Good luck :o)

Ps @YellowLoafers all fingers crossed for a speedy 2ww for you!!! Good luck getting to otd (I will be super impressed if you make it to 24 apr without testing, I think I only ever made it to about 7 days post transfer before I broke!!)

@Kelb79 it's natural to have a wobble. With DE you have a greater chance of becoming a mother. When I had a wobble I had to remind myself that the choice for me was not between becoming a mother with my own eggs or Donor eggs. My choice was possibly if I wanted to become a mother risk missing out completely. After 2-3 years of miscarriages and chemical pregnancies I knew my egg quality wasn't great as I couldn't get past the 9 week stage.
Now I am sitting with 3 babies that I love more than anything else in the world. I bonded with them as they grew in me and I can't imagine them being different they are perfect as they are. Trust me you will love them unconditionally, it won't matter they are DE and you will wonder why you waited so long. I certainly am. Good luck, it is hard xxx
@YellowLoafers good luck. I got my positive 7 days past 5 day transfer - however now realise HCG was particularly strong early due to it being multiples. Hope you get your BFP xxx
Attached a few photos of my DE triplets to help settle your mind

Just stopped by to see updates and am beaming with delight for you @October1979 !! We are complete strangers but I was here under a few different names for the past few years. We went a different way as I realised motherhood wasn’t for me, but I’ve checked in on this thread periodically to see how you’ve done. They are GORGEOUS and I’m so happy for you!! Sending so much love to you!!!

Baby dust to all trying, and a promise that deciding to stop is right for lots of us too, from someone who walks lighter with no regrets after realising kids aren’t for her! ❤️❤️❤️

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well?

@October1979 omg huge huge huge congratulations!! So pleased everything went ok for you and you have your little bundles of joy at last!! Hope everything is going well with them?! 😍

We ended up having to do a last minute house move and are now in somewhere temporarily until we can move again! But have no internet, so will do my best to try and keep popping in.

Hello everyone cd4 af nearly gone Carnt remember wether I told you guys that I went for some bloods and my folic acid was very low at 2.7 so doctors have put me on 5mg folic acid for 6 months also my vitamin d was low at 36 so have to take tablets for that too I’m hoping I see some improvement I myself soon bc I was so tired with no energy it’s been 2 weeks since starting taking the meds so hopefully in the next week or so I will start to feel my energy levels come back up .

we had a whole month off ttc last month and I’ve decided not to buy opks for a while it’s too stressful but I will still bbt to confirm ovulation and just going with the flow is better .

hope everyone has had a good Easter holiday x

@October1979 They are beautiful! So happy for you all, it’s wonderful to see them thriving. Your heart and home are full ❤️❤️❤️

@TraceyTarotReader the folic acid and vitamin d is a good shout. My clinic put me on it and said it was a good idea for older ladies TTC and then through pregnancy as helps protect against spina bifida and maybe other things. I’ve been on both since Oct last year. Hope a break from the OPKs helps you, it’s so hard being on this road x

Thank you to you all again for your kind messages! I’m finding the 2WW really hard. I’m driving myself mental and googling everything , but trying to be sensible. I got cramps quite soon after transfer and I was convinced it was my body rejecting the embryo and got upset. I’m a bit calmer now, I have loads of side effects from the progesterone which aren’t helpful as they just make me think either “yay implantation” or “period coming” depending on my mood! I bet I’m driving OH mad too 🙄 Last night it felt exactly as it does before my period starts so I got upset (again!) but it’s only CD22 today so unlikely. It’s just the pesky progesterone.