Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

Sounds great @Kelb79 brilliant news!

So update from me. I'm now 6 weeks after I had a frozen transfer with 2 embryos using DE. I've been spotting on and off for a couple of days. My HCG grew to 34,000. But had a massive gush this morning so thought it was all over. Went to EPU for a scan thinking the worst. But thankfully they have found a hemotoma that the think is responsible, I just need to keep an eye on it. They found 2 sacs and 3 heartbeats. So currently identical twins and a singleton on board. I am shocked!

@October1979 holy crap!!!!! 😳😳😳 3??!!! That’s unreal!!! How are you feeling about that?? I’m in shock for you 🫣🫣🫣 that is utterly nuts!! So did an embryo divide after transfer? I didn’t even realise that could happen!! Wow!!!!!

I'm still in shock too! Yes one embryo must have split after transfer. I have 2 in one sac and 1 in the other. I don't want to sound ungrateful but two was a welcomed handful and I was told that there was very little chance of twins with FET. So thought it was a very small chance. Never imagined that triplets were a possibility 😳

Feeling very overwhelmed. Although the chances of all 3 making it will be slim I guess?

Mate I’d be the same! I’m totally down for twins, difficult as that would be… I’d love it!!
but triplets??!! Jesus 😳 that’s scary! 🫣 (sorry, don’t wanna make it worse 🤣🤣🫣🫣)
my instinct would say that it would be unlikely for 3 to make it…. Buuuut…. It was highly unlikely for there to be 3 in the first place! 🫣
Gawd!! You must be seriously overwhelmed by this one!! Talk about waiting for buses and them all coming at once 🤣🤣🤣 shiiiiittt!!

Three!!!!!! Oh my goodness! Congratulations!

Oh wow @October1979 this is both terrifying and incredible!!
But for now just focus on the fact there's heartbeats.

If it's in any way helpful I am 21w pregnant and have had heavy bleeds 4 times now. I actually think it's like a fake period if that makes any sense. I also bled throughout my pregnancy with DD. So if you bleed again just remember there's lots of positive stories with this. Mine is just categorized as 'unexplained'.

Following your lovely story and feeling positive for you

Omg!!! @October1979 that's insane / marvellous!! Gosh, I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed. I'm the same - I'd be pretty ok with twins, but 3!!! I hope those little heartbeats are keeping themselves cosy and safe and I am sure you will be a rockstar however it works out. I did think the limited likelihood of twins from two embryos was a bit b-s - it might be true with own egg at our age but there's no reason why it would be true with donor eggs!

Wow @October1979 that’s wonderful news.

Congratulations @October1979 !
3 is amazing!!!!

Holy Moly @October1979 what amazing news! Congratulations ❤️ So happy for you, you must feel a bit dazed though!

@Kelb79 Keeping everything crossed for you! xx

Omg @October1979 I only go on Mumsnet to see how you’re getting on. I admit I spat my coffee out in surprise at your news. Can only imagine the shock you and your partner experienced. Massive congratulations!! To think you’d have felt lucky with one and now there are three! I guess try not to focus on the overwhelm of three and take each day as it comes. Today you are pregnant. It must be such a rare outcome so you’re absolutely blessed. Please stick stay little babies! I have everything crossed for you! Surely this is it for you now. I hope the doctors are being super supportive and you’ll get all the extra care you need. Will be thinking of you! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you that's lovely to hear you are checking in on me❤️. Yes quite shocking news. Especially as I went via work by myself. So had to go home and tell husband.😂. Anyway very daunting but starting to get my head round it. They say 50% of triplet pregnancies have vanishing twin. So just going to take it a week at a time and see what we get in the end. If it's 1-2 or 3 I will be eternally grateful xxx

@October1979 im just really grateful you started this thread. It helped me at a difficult time. My story could have easily been like yours. Obviously I’m really grateful we had our two but really feel for those where it’s been a tougher journey. I guess I just want you to have some luck after all you’ve been through. It makes me genuinely happy you’re carrying these little souls. Those odds are fairly good considering but so difficult to know how it’ll pan out in your case. Good plan to just take it step by step. As you say, 1-3 babes will be great I’ll be thinking of you and hoping for good news! Xx

Okay so do any of you know anything about FSH I ask bc I have done 2 home FSH urine tests one on day 3 of my cycle which was positive the test line was as dark as the control line 😳 then you have to do one 7 days later which was also positive but not as dark as control line but equal to the control line .I’ve read so many things about at home tests that they are not reliable and that FSH fluctuate every month so there’s no way of knowing what your FSH are some say it’s a waste of time now this is what I don’t get let me see if I can word it right .

okay so as soon as you have af your follicles are already gearing up to mature your eggs this causes FSH to rise so what’s the point in doing the test if it’s going to show a high reading if your follicles are working to mature the egg I just don’t get why it just shows it’s elevated I know I can get a blood test but I really don’t want to know cause been 51 it’s proberly high anyway just thought I’d ask more knowledgeable women thanks x

Sometimes I really hate this site!! I write a message then go to post it and the pop ups move things around just as I’m pressing post so I end up pressing something else and losing my message!! Meh!! Is it just me???

how is everyone?? ❤️❤️

@TraceyTarotReader i wouldn’t get too hung up on FSH levels lovely. Essentially the FSH will peak at the same time as LH so if you’re measuring that already then you won’t have any new information from it. But a high reading can be a sign of diminishing ovarian reserve as the hormone has to work harder to make things happen so it can be confusing. Stick to the LH tests I reckon 👍🏼

@October1979 has the shock sunk in?? How are you doing? I’m literally still in shock for you!! It’s totally crazy 🫣🫣 seriously amazing though ❤️❤️

the wait for our PGT-A results is killing me!!! It’s been 9 days and it could take up to 20 😩😩 I’m getting too much time to get stuck in my head!! I’ve basically completed Google!! 🫣😵‍💫

Thank you @Kelb79 I was a little worried about my FSH reading it was a home urine test and was surely positive and the second one was 7 days later which I’m sure means diminishing ovarian reserve that’s to be expected at my age 51 but I can be grateful I have a period every month and ovulate every month but that’s not telling me the quality of my eggs but as long as both are happening every month I’ll try not to worry about it … do you think I should do a AMH test the ones you do at home like the proov tests x

@TraceyTarotReader im a long-time follower of these threads following my own journey (under a different user name), but I wanted to comment gently to you because I think if you really want another child there are certain truths you need to face.

Stop all the at home tests. At 51 these will all say the same thing: your egg reserve is diminished and you are in peri/full menopause. That is NOT something to be sad about, you are an incredible woman and you must embrace your biology.

In 2018 there were around 700 live, healthy babies born to women over 50 in the Uk. 80% of those were via IVF and most with donor eggs. So getting pregnant naturally, with your own eggs, over 50 is absolutely possible, but incredibly unlikely.

If you want another child you need to live well, stay happy, ignore the at home tests OR start looking for an ivf clinic that will help you.

Don’t bother with AMH tests unless ivf is a possibility (as it will be useful data for clinic). I can’t remember the name of the place, but there was a natural IVF clinic that specialised in older mothers…someone on here will know it.

I wish you lots of luck. X

@3shotsofespresso thank you for your comment reading that has given me hope although IVF isn’t an option for me as we Carnt afford it so that’s a no go we have been ttc a successful pregnancy for 18 yrs I’ve had 3 losses with my husband had all the testing bloods scans husbands sperm checked all came back normal I do have 3 beautiful daughters from a previous relationship..

when I visited the RE 10 years ago he said there is no reason why I Carnt conceive a healthy pregnancy and baby and to just keep trying having got pregnant since then but it is what it is I am nervous about my body changing ya know menopause and all that but yes I do want a baby I’d love to give my husband his own child he has no biological children .

but Thankyou for been straight and to the point I won’t do anymore tests lol thank you x

@Kelb79 still in shock tbh and a bit scared but wrapping my head around it. I've had a couple of big bleeds but hearts still beating away. I have midwife booking appointment on Tuesday and foetal medicine on 3rd November - which scares me. I googled and they are all about pregnancy reduction. Really hope I don't have to make difficult decisions. Just trying to take each day as it comes. How are you doing? Any news about your PGA testing? Xx

@October1979 oh gosh - Google is sometimes not your friend!! I really hope the foetal medicine appointment is more about management of a triplet pregnancy and they don't try to steer you in any directions you don't want to go in!! So intriguing though - would they let you deliver naturally or insist on a c section, I wonder? Sorry you've had some bleeds - hopefully that stops soon. Are you feeling ok so far? The high hcg levels my twin pregnancy pals had apparently made them very very sick, so I hope you avoid that.

@Kelb79 hope the wait isn't too excruciating!

@TraceyTarotReader sending hugs. Hope you're doing ok, ttc is a hard journey, esp when you have no idea what the destination is.

Today had my second scan and my lining is looking good to go so egg thaw (of the donor eggs) is on Monday and then hopefully we'll have an embryo to transfer the next Saturday. They have already confirmed it'd be a single embryo transfer so I am unlikely to have any multiples! Excited to be progressing but also still worrying about how I'll feel / any baby(/child/adult) will feel. We have counselling booked so I'm hoping that will help me process some of the emotions around everything. My oh totally doesn't get me - his view is that it's fine as long as the baby is in a loving environment, whereas I think I'm more worried about future feelings about identity etc. (and I guess to some extent scared of rejection). I'm possibly overthinking things!!

@99pctpractice

thanks lovely it’s a very difficult journey I’ve given it my best and last shot this month we have done bd EOD from cd 10 I am now 3 dpo so we shall see what this months brings .

im so happy you have things going to
plan and I hope and pray that all goes well for you x

@October1979 wow- congratulations! I don't check Mumsnet as often these days as have my hands full with an energetic 8 month old now, so lovely to pop on and see your news.

Wow- 3 babies! Fantastic news x 3. I hope the antenatal appts go smoothly, as does the rest of your pregnancy.

XxX

How is everyone doing? The wait must be driving you mad @Kelb79 !

We had our fertility tests this week, all went OK, except they struggled to see my right ovary…it was hiding apparently 🙄 Met with the consultant yesterday to go through findings. DP’s SA was all fine. My AMH is 12, which she said was OK for a 42 year old, everything else fine (no cysts, fibroids etc) so that’s positive.

She said that she thinks given our ages that IVF is the best route for us and worth giving it a try with my own eggs at first. She’s also recommended we do genetic screening if we get any embryos. She also mentioned that they offer something called “dual stimulation” where they try for eggs twice in one cycle and said will include information in that and everything else in a follow up email so we can consider everything.

I’m relieved that the results show possibilities, but it all feels quite daunting at the moment, not to mention the cost! 🙈DP is excited and just wants to “get on with it”. When consultant said meds start on CD21, he asked what CD I’m on now which was sweet.

Just waiting now for the email with all the details on so I can read and try to understand it all. I’m trying not to get excited, I know it’s a long road with loads of hurdles so it’s important not to get too carried away hoping! Sorry for long post, thanks for reading and any advice, tips for coping etc always massively appreciated! ❤️

@99pctpractice you are having all normal thoughts. I felt them all too. Particularly how they will feel when they are grown ups. Just take it a day at a time. I can honestly say so far I've never felt different about this pregnancy to any other. Just desperate for it to all work out ok. I have a friend who has a 5 month old also from donor egg conception and she says he feels completely hers in every way. I would try not to over think it. I have friends who were adopted and neither has questions on identity and see their adoptive parents as very much their mum and dad. Try not to worry. Bottom line without you and your husband your child would never have been born. I have been feeling very nauseous recently. Although it has faded the last couple of days. So new worry is something has went wrong as I don't feel as sick. I guess I will continue to worry until 12 weeks at least. Good luck @99pctpractice hope it all goes according to plan.
@YellowLoafers this sounds like great news. Sending positive thoughts and vibes your way.
@Kelb79 hope everything is going well for you.