Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

@pcmod hi yes it’s very confusing and cd 6 is very early to ovulate but it seems I did and the test didn’t get any darker so I’m assuming I was pregnant and I’ve done more tests and there negative so on to next month again .. ttc is so hard 18 yrs I’ve tried to have a successful pregnancy I’m an older lady at 50 and have been ttc since I was 34 it’s just never happens I am going to take the don’t care approach try and put my mind in a place and not dwell on it to much ..

I got quite sad this morning and cried to dh told him how I felt about never having a baby with him and it’s never going to happen I do have 3 girls from a previous relationship and I am truly blessed for them but would love one with dh he has no children of his own … biological children I mean .

so yeah feeling very down about it all I’ve just got to pick myself up and get on with life and I’m happy that I don’t seem to be ovulating early this month done my opks already just in case lol

thank you so much for asking how I am x

@pcmod thank you. But another negative this morning. Definitely not worked this round. @IdisagreeMrHochhauser I went through the grieving process too. It took me about 6 months of research. I tried naturally until I reached the point where I felt i was deciding against no child at all or a child that I would carry and would be mine in every sense to nurture . Since that point I haven't looked back. Although with my first DE transfer failing I am facing a whole new bunch of fears. It's not easy. Take your time and do what's right for you x
@traceyann44 I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

@October1979 im sorry for your negative it’s the worst when that’s all you keep seeing hope for a better out come for you next next time x

im feeling a little better today the feeling never goes away to be a new mom again it’s something I have to except but I know deep
down I won’t just plod on x

@October1979 I'm so sorry. So difficult to process when it doesn't work, especially when DE is supposed to be the answer to our 40+ yr old egg issues. Sending hugs

@pcmod yes! the first monitoring scan didn't show any issues so fingers crossed my immune test results are all ok so I can start the next round in August. They could see that it's likely I'll ovulate from my right ovary so I'm obviously secretly hoping that we'll get lucky and get pregnant this month instead of having to do ivf again, ha! We made it to Copenhagen on Thursday luckily without any flight issues! It is so lovely. Very chilled out and so nice to be by the water. Doing lots of walking to compensate for all the yummy rye bread and smoked salmon I'm eating :o)

@99pctpractice @October1979 ooh now a random cycle sounds interesting! Now I have to decide oe then de or or then tandem, I suppose it would depend on the result of the one cycle if I got no eggs then maybe onto de if it goes ok but unsuccessful maybe a tandem, I assume you'd have the same success rate with a tandem as a de one 🤔

It's been stifling here and I've been suffering with a urine infection and then a dog bit infection 🙄😂 BUT my cycle 2 on clomid 100mg was only a little longer than normal and I'm now on cycle 3!

@traceyann44 sorry you had yet another confusing cycle, it's so difficult isn't it?!

@IdisagreeMrHochhauser it's a disheartening process and I was feeling disappointed at first that I wouldn't be able to have a biological child with my partner but now I've made my decision that I'll try one ivf round with my own eggs and if that doesn't work I know I've done everything I possibly can and I'd rather have a child with my partner and a doner egg which will still have a small amount of my dna as I will be carrying it than not have one! And now I'm happy with that decision

@October1979 I'm so sorry this one didn't work for you, I keep thinking to myself how random this process all is - some people it works first time some people take more! I do hope you're ok? Have they told you when you can try again?

@99pctpractice glad you're having a nice time in Copenhagen and here's hoping for the miracle before your august go!

I really hope I'm pregnant this cycle as I'm not sure how many I'll do. I don't have a partner so I'll be using double donors or diabetes embryos and am struggling to get my head around the idea of carrying and raising somebody else's child.

So much autocorrect in that post. Grrr.

Donated embryos and I'm not sure how many more cycles of TTC I'll do.

It's a hard journey @IdisagreeMrHochhauser and tough getting your head around things. It has to be right for you. I too grieved not having my own biological child. But with so many miscarriages and time ticking I have embraced the donor process as my chance to be a mother. It helped me to decide if I wanted to be a mother or have no children. It stopped me obsessing on the how. For me I felt if I kept trying with my own eggs I might miss out. I know DE is not for everyone and those with children already may feel different. But for me with no children I got there. I was even excited about my first transfer even though it failed.
I've spoken with my doctor and I am now going to go back in about a month for my second transfer. This time I will transfer 2 embryos (4AA and 4AB) and hope for the best. They have adjusted my medications. If this doesn't work I'll need to go for testing to try and fix whatever the problem is. I will also have to get another donor. So fingers crossed it doesn't come to that.

How's everyone else doing?

Xxx

Thanks for sharing your feelings and DE process @October1979 it’s good to be involved in your story and I hope so much that your next transfer is successful.

I’m OK. I lost the plot entirely through June, I just couldn’t carry on with the TTC. I stopped taking supplements, didn’t take BBT or use OPK and only DTD once. It has taken over so much and I sort of short-circuited and stopped everything. I know I sound crackers but I just needed to step away from it. I couldn’t even post on here, even though I get lots of support from it.

I’ve been back on TTC through July though. I’ve had 2 GP appointments cancelled this month due to staff issues, so am really thinking of going private if it’s another fail this month. 1DPO (I think) so on the 2WW bench again.

Sending love and keeping hopeful for you all. Looking forward to your updates x

@October1979 What company are you using for DE IVF? I've given up hope of my own eggs after 2 early MC and nothing since in over 18 months now so am going to get in touch with a clinic but don't know where to start. Did you go UK or abroad?

@SomnolentSekhmet I'm using Gynem in Prague. It is quite a small clinic. I liked the personal touch. Although smaller means they have a smaller donor Egg bank. If starting again I would possibly consider a larger clinic as success rates are all pretty similar and it would mean they would have more donors available. So far I have been impressed with how quickly it all moves and communication. Your appointed coordinator keeps you rights and can book all your transport and hotels etc. you only need to do the flights if you want. I would pick a country with good success rates which will have donors that look like you and is easy to travel to. Xx

Hi all, I’m 42 and will be joining you when I’m better. We got pregnant with a surprise baby, but unfortunately I had a MMC that has had to be medically managed. Hoping I’ll be able to conceive again.

Welcome @Iusedtobedontcall and sorry for your loss. I have been in your shoes and it is heartbreaking. I've had 2 MMC with medical management in the last couple of years. Be kind to yourself xxx

Thank you @October1979 . I’m feeling a lot better today and hopeful that I can have a successful outcome in the future.

I’m so sorry @Iusedtobedontcall Fingers crossed for when you feel ready to try again x

@October1979 having children from my previous relationship originally I wasn't even thinking about an egg doner but did think I would adopt if it came to that, but once I started thinking about a doner egg I think it's something I'd be totally happy to do, as far as I'm concerned carrying a child and nourishing that baby giving them even a fraction of your dna is an amazing thing, that baby wouldn't be there without you and I'd be proud to have a de baby. Im actually really looking forward to the journey!
That's great news that they're starting your next transfer soon and trying two this time 🤞🏻 sounds like they're a very positive proactive clinic! Xx

@Iusedtobedontcall sorry for your loss and welcome to the group x

Hi @Iusedtobedontcall I just had a mmc picked up at an ultrasound following a fresh ivf cycle. I’m 41.5 and using my own eggs. I had the MVA last Thursday… I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

@October1979 best of luck with your next transfer.

Hey everyone!
Sorry I’ve been quiet lately… I’ve been watching the thread but just finding it hard to write - this whole IVF journey is tough!!!!
I’m back in Spain now for a second attempt at EC.
My basal scan in the UK confirmed that I had ovulated before the last EC so we at least know what happened just not why 🤷🏼‍♀️
i planned everything this time around responding super fast again and typically my body has done the opposite and it going super slow!!!
had my day 7 scan today and I’ve got less and smaller follicles than last time! So trying not to be pessimistic!!
hopefully slow and steady wins the race!!

@October1979 im so so gutted for you! Praying the next transfer is the one ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Can they do an endometrial biopsy to test the nest???

@Marvellouslymadmum Are you going ahead with DE IVF? It’s on my radar if this doesn’t work …. Haven’t got my head around it yet!

@Iusedtobedontcall i feel you lovely. I had an MMC at 9 weeks last year and it’s horrific! Sending you so much love. Take care of you, take your vitamins and supplements to get your body back on track and check out a book called The Miscarriage Map (i think … or a map of miscarriage 🤔) it helped me a lot

@99pctpractice where are you up to?? I’ve lost track!! 🫣 are you starting your next round soon??

Love to all of you ❤️❤️❤️

@Kelb79 that's so typical isn't it? Our bodies never like to play ball!!
I'm on my last round of clomid now then I'm hoping my gynaecologist will agree to send me for a laparoscopy for the endo, but will be starting to looking into the ivf, I'm either going to go for one cycle with my eggs then doner eggs if that doesn't work, or maybe just a tandem cycle. It'll depend once I've spoken to the clinics and see what they think!

@Kelb79 that must have been so disappointing. It's hard gearing yourself up for it all. Hopefully it all works out for you this time. Your follicles are still growing so fingers crossed the right one is waiting and will be just perfect for the collection. Will keep you in my thoughts and send you good vibes in the hope this is the one for you. My clinic has said one more go and then testing. They say it's very few women that need different protocol. The testing takes time and is expensive. So we will go ahead one more time before we move on to that. The testing would look at implantation timing and killer cells. But I'm hoping it won't come to that x

Hello @Kelb79 oh gosh, sounds like you have had a difficult time of it. So was your first cycle cancelled or did they try and do an egg retrieval and only then found out that you'd already ovulated?! Hopefully gentler progress means they'll be better able to time your EC this time.... My worst round was the one with the highest number of eggs so in my experience more is not always better!

@Iusedtobedontcall I'm so sorry about your mmc. Such a difficult experience to go through and sending you lots of hugs.

@October1979 good luck with the next transfer! It must be your turn for some luck :o) and it's good that you have a plan.

We're looking at starting our next (likely last) cycle this week whenever my period arrives. My monitoring cycle seemed to be all normal and luckily I didn't have any immune issues (phew! One expense that we have been spared!). We're meant to be going away for the weekend with my in-laws and i am kind of hoping to start my period before the weekend so that I can't go because I'll have to be able to go to the clinic for blood tests etc. Not because I don't like my in-laws but just because I feel a bit exhausted from work and would rather conserve energy before starting the cycle rather than have to make a lot of polite small talk over an extended period...! Plus me and my oh are arguing a lot at the moment. Which isn't really like us, so not sure if it's because we're both anxious about the next cycle or if we're just grumpy but I wonder if a couple of days breathing space might not be a good idea...

Hey lovelies, hope you’re all doing ok? ❤️

I had my day 9 scan today. I’ve got 3 lead follicles around 17-19mm that they want to trigger for tomorrow. There are others but they’re way behind at around 7mm so im
not holding out hope of them catching up 😕 bit despondent with it tbh - can’t help comparing it to my stats on the last cycle! So annoyed that went wrong with such great stats!!! I keep telling myself quality not quantity but it’s not really sinking in 🤷🏼‍♀️
but if you could all do a happy, healthy, abundant follicle dance for me that’d be great!! 😉

@October1979 when are you going ahead again? Got everything crossed for this next cycle for you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

@99pctpractice they actually did the EC! Only 2 follicles left on my left ovary when they went in so they drained them but got nothing. That ovary just hasn’t recovered properly for a back to back 😐 definitely try and take some time for yourself lovely, it’s such a draining process that you need all of your energy for. My OH and I have argued worse than ever before over this last couple of months - there’s definitely a pattern there!! Give each other space if you can but try to talk when you’re in the right headspace. It’s all so so difficult!!

im trying to enjoy the chill out in Spain but it’s too bloody hot! 🤣 my mum is with me as OH is running our business so couldn’t come - it’s honestly making it harder as she’s basically just trying to have a holiday and wanting to go out and do things (“let’s go down to the front and have a wine before dinner” ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️) so I’m feeling like I have to entertain her. Could do without that!!

Hi ladies, this is a very depressing journey.
I’m ok while distracted, but then a cloud comes over…
@99pctpractice do you mind if I ask where you had immune testing done? I’m seeing Dr Shehata at the CRP clinic in September after my third miscarriage in a row to get tests done.

@Kelb79 your mum might be a welcomed distraction🤞although I can feel your pain. Mine would be the same. It only takes one. I'm hoping this one is for you. Good luck. Are you having transfer this time after egg collection or freezing for a later date? I'm on day 11 this cycle. So got a couple of weeks yet before my next cycle starts. It will hopefully be day 18 of that cycle so likely the start of September. As long as I can work it with work. I'm thinking of just going over the day before and travelling back after the transfer. I will probably just go myself. My OH will need to work and although my folks have offered, I think having been through it once I would rather do it myself 😂xx

Ha ha @October1979 and @Kelb79 there is no way I would be able to cope with my mum in the thick of the process!!! Particularly if she was more focused on the holiday aspects of being overseas 🤣 that must make it more of a juggle with work as well. No idea how I'm going to cope all the appointments for the couple of weeks while I'm doing stims. Hoping that it's going to be a quiet couple of weeks work-wise!

@Kelb79 oh my word that must have been so distressing. Did you get a refund at least?!? Did they put you on lower medications for this round? 3 follicles is not bad at all! Fingers crossed there's a good one in there for you!!!

@birdbybird I had my immunes done at Argc but I'm not sure if they do them if you're not doing a cycle there. I have heard good things about dr gorgy as well though and he definitely does immune testing separately to ivf....I'm the same with the ups and downs. I alternate between optimism that this could be our lucky chance and complete conviction that it's never going to happen and I'm not sure why we're wasting our money with such low chances of success...Oof!