Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

@October1979 thinking of you!!! Glad you’re managing some chill time ❤️ Let us know how it goes!

@Marvellouslymadmum Here’s hoping this round of clomid is the one 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’ve been just quietly trying to focus on staying calm and not overthinking everything 🫣🫣 I’m off the pill now and waiting Brie AF …. baseline scan tomorrow, if AF comes and scan ok then stims on Sunday 😳😳 eek!!

Thanks @October1979 and @Marvellouslymadmum now on day 8 of flashing smilies....which means I'm having a mega long cycle again. I'm hoping just due to the miscarriage/last round of ivf combo but paranoid about menopause....long cycle means that I'll probably start my period on my trip to Copenhagen, so have had to investigate fertility clinics there that could do my day 1-3 tests for my monitoring cycle. Oof! Starting acupuncture again on Saturday so hoping that will help regulate my cycles again....

@October1979 that's awesome - that's an awesome fertilisation rate, fingers crossed those embryos are progressing well!! And great you're getting a bit of a break in Prague in the meantime, which will hopefully put your body in prime condition for transfer 🤞🤞🤞

@October1979 good luck for today!!! All fingers crossed your lining is good and everything goes well. We're rooting for you!!

Hi everyone we had our transfer this morning of one 5AA Blast. As promised I'm keeping you all posted on our progress. I've been given 54-64% chance of success. We also have 2 x 5AA and 2x5AB embryos frozen too, so have 4 more gos if this doesn't work. Wish me luck xxx

@traceyann44 it's not until we look into ttc mor in-depth that we actually discover how annoying our bodies really are!!

@99pctpractice thank you, im on cd18 with no ov yet so it's not looking good! I've had lots of days of flashing smilies before it happens sometimes.

@Kelb79 thank you, I wish I could be hopeful!

@October1979 oh wow that's a great result I'm so pleased for you! I've everything crossed this works out for you xx

@October1979 that's amazing, I'm really please forward you!!! How wonderful that you have so many back ups in the freezer as well, just in case, but sounds like you have great odds for this one. Shows how ivf should work if you have decent quality eggs......

@Marvellouslymadmum ha, I have just given up testing. I read the leaflet and it said after 9 days of flashing smilies to stop testing so I did what it said!! also I'm on cd 28 and my cycle should be less than 40 days this cycle (assuming it is going back towards its regular 30 post ivf) so I think either I have not ovulated or one of the days I tested I forgot to poas first thing so did so a couple of hrs later so it might not have been accurate. Either way, not likely that this will be a successful month!!!

@Kelb79 how was the scan? Are you on track to start stims tomorrow?? Good luck!!

wonderful @October1979 so excited for you and keeping everything crossed! x

@October1979 that is so so good!!! Literally the best possible transfer situation! Stay hopeful and keep those socks on ❤️❤️❤️

@99pctpractice yep… all on track to jab away tonight! But I’m having major wobbles!! 😵‍💫 OH has been truly horrible this past couple of weeks. He’s giving up smoking and drinking so I totally get that he’s not himself but it’s like he doesn’t even like me! I’m not feeling in any way supported at a time when I really need to. I keep trying to tell myself that it’s not him but it’s making me question everything!!
It’s epic that he’s trying to give it all up ……annoying that he couldn’t have done it before we reached the point of IVF - it might have been his lazy sperm that was the issue and this could possibly have been avoided but …..🤷🏼‍♀️ I want him to give it up…. But I’m sick of being his punching bag (metaphorical - no violence 👌🏼)
he decided he was having a drink last night then kicked off at me over absolutely nothing! I went to bed, he stayed up all night. We’ve not talked, I don’t even want to see him today! Im going out to try to clear my mind a bit.
its not the relaxing, stress free day that I had wanted to start this round on 😵‍💫

@Kelb79 I'm sorry your having a tough day. It's a really stressful time for both of you. Hopefully OH does a bit of grovelling and gets things back on track. Try to focus on him taking it seriously and giving up smoking and drinking and less on the poor behaviour last night. This could all just be him worrying as Meds are beginning. It all becomes a bit real.
Instead of the hope I felt at the start of facing ivf, Meds made me ask- what if it doesn't work. It's an odd headspace as ivf is seen as the solution but when you actually start the cycle it becomes really nerve wracking. Stay positive and hold your nerve. Sending you big hugs xxxx

@Kelb79 I'm so sorry that you're having a difficult time with your oh, it's such a stressful time anyway without throwing partner problems into the mix. I hope he has calmed down now - infertility is horrible, and he's probably feeling quite resentful and frustrated about the circumstances you find yourselves in but it's not fair for him to take it out on you. It's great that he's trying to give up smoking but it is probably the worst time to have to try to do it if he's stressed!! Really hope you managed to have a chat and talk things through and he's behaving a bit more kindly towards you!

I am suddenly having second thoughts about doing another round of ivf with my own eggs. Nearly a year ago we did our first round of ivf with no decent embryos so it just doesn't seem realistic that we would suddenly get lucky this time....my oh got quite depressed about the lack of a baby last week so I don't really want to raise it with him. I might see how the monitoring cycle goes (eg if my amh has plummeted) and then go from there.

@99pctpractice only you will know what's right for you and when. For me I needed to raise the odds and speed up the process. I have had a number of chemical pregnancies and a few nasty miscarriages and want to avoid going through that again at all costs. I've been in this journey for over 2 years and I needed to try something different. I am not a mother yet, and i asked myself 2 questions. Do you want to be a mother? Would using DE stop me from getting any of the reasons I want to be a mother? For me the answer was no. The fact that the success was higher sold it to me. But it did take a while to get here. There is no easy choice. I would talk it through and do what's right for you. Tandem cycles look interesting too xx

Hi ladies hope you are well, do I have line eyes? I’m only 9dpo 😂 I haven’t felt well the last few days so thought I’d see what a test was saying

I can definitely see a line congratulations @Room4onemore xxx

@99pctpractice ahh yes I think these things are all pretty temperamental, I'm going to go for one round with my own eggs first I think just so I know I've given it a go, if that doesn't work I will probably move on to de unless i got miraculously good results apart from the baby!

@Kelb79 I totally get what you're going through, my oh gave up smoking the only time we've managed to get pregnant (ended in mc) and though he's given up a couple of other times we've not been successful and he always starts up again. Each and every time he gives up we go through exactly the same things, he also gets like it when he forgets to take his antidepressants for a while. It's tough but you will get through it and hopefully be stronger for it. Xx

@Room4onemore I see a little line too 🤞🏻 keep us updated

thanks @Marvellouslymadmum and @October1979 it's all just such a gamble isn't it. i do quite like the idea of a tandem cycle, i hadn't thought of that. though i'm not sure how rubbish i would feel if someone else's eggs worked like magic while mine did nothing...! i think i'm also anxious because i haven't exactly been treating my body as a temple (i have been having quite a few wines!).

my period arrived today - so i guess i started testing with the ovulation tests after i had already ovulated 😂i was so relieved that i'm back to a 30 day cycle, that i was a lot less disappointed than usual that i wasn't pregnant 😂 and the good thing is i don't have to figure out how to get a blood test while i'm in copenhagen next weekend for my monitoring cycle....

Hello! Hope everyone's surviving in the heat?!

@Kelb79 how are stims going? Hopefully you managed to resolve things with your oh?

@October1979 are you nearly at the end of the 2ww? Wishing you so much luck for test day!!!

I went to a baby shower at the weekend. I was fine at the time but i was so down the next day. She's exactly the same age as me, went through icsi (her partner had a vasectomy so they can't try naturally) and had a failed transfer before this one so I absolutely don't begrudge them their successful pregnancy but can't help but feel a bit gutted for me.

I also thought I would have to cancel a trip to Copenhagen this weekend because of a monitoring scan on Friday, but they have moved it forward to weds so we can go (phew!) except that BA have now put our flights on red alert for cancellation 🤣 so im not holding my breath but at least if the flights are cancelled we can claim on insurance for the non-refundable Airbnb......Oof! The weather here is so good that even if it's cancelled we can have a mini-holiday at home :o)

Hi everyone @99pctpractice I'm pretty sure this transfer hasn't worked for me. I'm negative at 9dp5dt which is really 14dpo. So should have been showing on frer by now. Just need the bloods to confirm. But I already know. I have no symptoms whatsoever 😢

@99pctpractice that's good news they moved your scan. Fingers crossed your flight goes ahead and you get a nice break
@Kelb79 hope all is going well with you xx

Hi every one well it’s very hot in England it’s actually making me feel sick …

so a little update on me so I ovulated on cd 6 straight after my my period finished well I was still spotting I have never had a positive opk that early but then again how would I know if I was still spotting so I said to dh we I’ll have to bd so we did and for the next 2 nights .

then to my surprise I starting spotting on 13 dpo 21 days since my last period … so I thought okay I’ll put a liner on cause I thought no way is this my period it’s not due till he 18th but ff had it down at cd 25 cause I ovulated early .

anyway I kept an eye on the flow and put a pad on for the night it sure looks like af came early at cd 21 I am now cd 2 but it’s like a period but lighter than my normal flow I did test at 12/13 dpo and got negative hpt I tested to day and got a shadow I’m not saying it’s positive cause how could it be I’m on my period yes it’s a bit lighter and yes I have a shadow on a test so now I will just wait for the bleeding to stop and test again im so confused now here is the test it was there in the time frame but no colour

Here the test

Oh no - @October1979 hoping that it was just too early, but also sending lots of hugs. It's such a difficult process and even if you know that there's a chance it won't work it is still heartbreaking if it doesn't. Hope you are able to treat yourself kindly xxxx

How is everyone?

Overwhelmed, sad, stuck. Don't know which direction to go in next.

Hey everyone, how’s everything going? I’ve been off for a bit. We had a couple weeks holiday. Went to South Wales and got some lovely weather. Then not so nice the whole household came down with Covid! Not been too bad, but just feel really wiped out with it. Just generally feeling a bit sorry for myself as well, not sure if that’s the Covid, sadness from our situation or a mixture of both. Anyway sounds like there has been lots going on.

@Kelb79 Has all gone to plan with the stims/treatment. Are you currently in Spain for the next part? Keeping everything crossed for you. Will definitely look into the acupuncture.

@calimc83 – Sorry to hear a sickness bug got you at exactly the wrong time last month. Hopefully you’ll be coming up to a new one soon and it’ll be all smooth sailing for you this time round.

@marvellouslymadmum – Thank heavens you finally made it to the the end of such a mammoth cycle! Imagine it would be incredibly frustrating! Hope this cycle is a lot better for you.

@traceyann44 – How are you getting on? Sounds another confusing month. CD6 does sound early to ovulate, but guess must be possible. That does look like a positive line, though I suppose you’ve had them before so not much help. Would your bleeding be about the right timing for implantation bleeding? I know some get that before a period is due.

@99pctpractice – Did you manage to make it to Copenhagen? Flights are a mare at the mo. The baby shower sounds really harsh. It’s really tough seeing someone in the position you should be in. Was it your monitoring scan this week, how did that go?

@room4onemore – How are you getting on? That definitely looked like a line to me in your pic, big congratulations to you if it is.

@October1979 – incredibly sorry to hear that it doesn’t look like this cycle has worked. I hope you’re wrong but I know sometimes our instinct just know with these things. I always find it really tough to get a negative. Imagine it must be even tougher when you’ve gone through an ivf cycle as well.

@IdisagreeMrHochhauser – really sorry to hear you’re feeling like that. I can definitely relate to those, I just so desperately want to be pregnant and feel so sad and useless that I’m not. I think it is positive that there are options, but find any kind of decision making incredibly difficult at the minute!

Yes it's decision making that I'm struggling with along with coping with the grief of not having a biological child if I take those steps.

I also realised as soon as I posted that I'm probably on this thread under a previous username.