9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

Huge congratulations @kmbegs - really thrilled for you. Hoping there are some more to come in the next couple of months xx

@kmbegs what made you test? Did you have any symptoms? 😊

Thanks everyone. Still can't believe it. Trying to really enjoy it in case it doesn't last, as much as I hate even saying that. @BritInNZ I had nausea but not horrendously and I've had that a few times before AF so not really. I don't really know what made me test, I think because I normally get spotting a good few days before AF whereas this month there was nothing every day plus the really high temps which were getting my hopes sky high but I didn't actually think it would be positive, I more did it to put myself out of my misery. Like @Aubyone I'll keep watching this page if that's okay and keep rooting for everyone x

Can I join in please? I’ve been lurking for awhile and finding your stories a great comfort. On cycle 10 right now.

I’m 29 TTC 1 . My OH is really not keen on any sort of testing whatsoever and I’m just finding it increasingly stressful thinking there could be something wrong and we are just ignoring it.

Another one of my friends has got pregnant after 1 month of trying and whilst I’m over the moon for them just feel really sad for me at the same time . I hate feeling like this because I feel like a rubbish friend.

@kmbegs 🥳🎉🤩 oh my DAYS!!! Wow! How amazing is that! 😄😄

Now I am looking forward to March’s HSG even more!!!!

Sounds like there are a few us going to have a HSG/HyCoSy next month, do we need a roll call?!

@Sweetpeasandpeonies welcome! It can be a horrible feeling, that jealously and mixture of happiness for them but sadness for you. It’s totally normal. And doesn’t make you bad friend at all. It makes you human. With emotions. And shows how important creating your own family is. So don’t be too hard on yourself.

It’s difficult if another partner isn’t keen on tests. But you have a few more cycles to go before majorly worrying and then maybe try convince him if no luck by then.

@Decaffe I’m going to ring tomorrow morning and find out if they can fit me in next months depends where in cycle it needs to be. I’m sure private clinics can fit people in much quicker. But not sure how quick.

@kmbegs have you told OH now? yes you can of course stay on the thread, we'd love to hear how you're getting on. Wish you all the best and a happy and healthy 9 months and after.

@Sweetpeasandpeonies welcome to the group. We didn't really run any investigations until about 1 year into TTC, so you've got a bit of time.

I've just booked my HSG for 2nd of March. Please wish me luck as I'm super nervous about it. I have asked if I can have my DH in the room and they said no :( Is anyone on the group having this done anytime soon?

@Tinkerbell098 I just called my local clinic and there not doing stand alone hycosys atm. And they are the 3 closest clinics. So not sure what I can do now I don’t know where else will be offering it but I’d have to travel like over 3 hours.

Ugh!!

@Indianna2006 oh that's a shame! Won't they do HSG either? Where are you based?

Nope they won’t do it stand alone. Maybe a covid procedure they have there. East of England. So looks like I’ll have to travel to Essex/north London to have it done.

@Indianna2006 with mine, they needed a referral from a consultant or my GP. Would your GP be able to send a referral to get this done from the private clinic? Would they accept it?

@Tinkerbell098 @Indianna2006 Thank you both :) I think it’s the the paranoia setting in when yet another friend tells me they are pregnant “so much quicker than they expected” that are we aren’t there must be something wrong , even though I know it’s normal to take 12 months.

I hope you HSG goes well Tinkerbell and you find somewhere to get yours done Indiana

@Tinkerbell098 no they didn’t need a GP referall they just said due to covid they aren’t doing self refer ones unless your a patient. An I guess that means having a consultation and tests which I don’t really need. But I’ve emailed to enquire again if I have a consultation if I can then have one.

As otherwise it’s a bit of a travel and so would need my DH to take a day off to drive me incase I’m not capable after. What a pain!

@Indianna2006 I think they will let you have one if you have a consultation and they refer you. That's what had to happen in my case ( I had booked a consultation beforehand anyway but wanted the HSG sooner, but they wanted me to wait for the consultation and for her to refer me. Alternatively, they were ok if the GP could refer me. I decided to wait until I met with the consultant). Hope you can get one done soon.

@Sweetpeasandpeonies - welcome! Totally agree with @Indianna2006, its completely normal to feel this way, i am in this position, i am the only childless one out of my group of friends, three have had babies in the last 9 months and another pregnant now. The last few times we have met up i found it hard - obviously so pleased for them but you get what i mean.

We have a friends baby's christening next month and i am just dreading it as its around the time AF is due,

Trying really hard to keep positive as i approach my next FW but i am just having an off day today worrying what this cycle will bring it just feels like such a slog and the upset of another BFN looming.

I think it was said a few weeks back about mental health and feeling so down in the dumps - nothing gets me excited and i feel i have lost my spark.

Sorry feel like i am whinging but its good to get it down!

@Indianna2006 sorry to hear you have to travel thats a total pain! X

Where is everyone in their cycle at the moment? I'm due AF on Sunday (it's Tuesday here) and I've woken up to mega sore boobs, which is my standard PMS so feel like I'm out this month. It's month 12 and cycle 13 so definitely feels like it's never going to happen, especially as I didn't get the post HSG luck (I don't think). To be fair I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't our month as I've been so stressed with our upcoming move!

@BritInNZ I am on CD11 so fertile week. But keep flitting between we have every chance as SA was good and we have no chance! I feel like Jekyll and Hyde atm.

Okay so I had to call around and I’ll have to travel further to a clinic likely now. I did also check with my more local clinic if I paid for consultation can I then have hycosy and will be awaiting back. But not sure what to do for best as the clinic 2.5 hours travel too is much more in-depth for the money.

Local clinic
Hycosy £420 - but won’t do it as one off. So if I need Gyno consultation be £95 on top at least so £515 in total.

Further away clinic 2.5 hours
They do an all in one female check:
•AMH bloods
•Rubella check
•STI check (also has this at GP)
•Full blood count
•Thyroid bloods (have had this at GP which was fine)

Then 2 weeks later at second appointment:

•3D ultrasound with saline solution to investigate inside uterus for polyps etc or abnormalities.
•Antral follicle count on US to assess ovarian reserve
•Hycosy

All of this is £580! Would you guys just travel and get all that done for £580. Seems pretty comprehensive to me!

@Indianna2006 if I had the choice I'd probably do the travelling for what you get. I guess it depends if you've already had those other tests done though? If you have then is there much point doing the travelling? And you'll have to include cost of petrol for two trips there and back.

My HSG was $600 (about £300) but that was literally all I had. But id had blood tests etc beforehand.

@BritInNZ I’ve only had STi and thyroids bloods done that’s it. GO did progesterone.

I haven’t had AMH bloods done. I am awaiting a US on nhs. But it will be a 2D one. Not a 3D one with saline solution. And neither will it be a Antral follicle count as I go at any point not a set time in my cycle like the clinic wants.

Hmm for another £65. It costs double that to get AMH checked at my local clinic. But like you say it’s factoring in the petrol too isn’t it.

Meh. I’ll wait and see what my local clinic says tomorrow. I hate there is always so many boxes to tick.

@Indianna2006 yes that all sounds pretty painful! As much as I miss the NHS, I have appreciated how quickly things have moved here in terms of investigations, even if I have had to pay for them!

I did get my gynaecology appointment come through from public system to look into my septate uterus. That's not until 30 March though.

@BritInNZ did they say to you if it was a partial or full septate uterus?
Well March 30 doesn’t seem too bad to wait. Just next month.

Just depressing how you start counting weeks away to begin with an then months just to get some answers!

@Indianna2006 it was written as 'normal variant' so I think it's very minor - it didn't even show up in my HSG. So it's kinda annoying because it still doesn't explain why we're not able to fall pregnant. Anyway, guess I will find out more next month.

Yes that must be very frustrating! Although it's even more frustrating when everything comes back fine and you're still none the wiser as to why it's not happening 😂

@kmbegs congratulations!!! I’ve just spent half an hour reading through all the messages and as soon as I saw yours about your temp I had a feeling it would be good news for you!
No post HSG luck for me yet, day 18 of cycle. But I’m definitely not as obsessed about it atm. Hence not being on here much.
Also, someone mentioned about cysts on ovary. I have a small one called a functional cyst (apparently quite normal) and it doesn’t affect ovulation or fertility. So they said anyway haha.

Congratulations @kmbegs! I hope everything goes smoothly for you from here :)

Last month was pretty much a write off for us so I wasn't surprised that AF came. Still a bit disappointed though despite how unlikely it was. I found out another friend is pregnant with her second baby; I'd thought she might be since her oldest is around two now, but it still made me feel sad, since we haven't even had our first.

I work in Wellington CBD so have been quite distracted at work by the protest going on at parliament. I guess you may have been too @BritInNZ?

@MaryTeenOfScots sorry to hear it was another unsuccessful month for you. I have PMS symptoms and AF is due Sunday so no doubt it's on its way. Sorry to hear that you had to face another announcement too, that sucks.

I had a run in with a friend at the weekend. She didn't know we'd been trying for a baby for a year and said to our other friend 'the best advice I can give you is don't try - that's what we did and I fell pregnant the first month' and she really hit a nerve. I said that's not the case for everyone and she can't really give advice when she got pregnant the first month! She did apologise and I acknowledged she didn't know what I'm going through, but there were others around the table that I know have been having issues lately so I just felt I had to say something so she could get some self awareness.

I usually work in the CBD but I've been working from home mostly. Was in Auckland at the weekend so was a bit nervous about going into work this week 😬 but also I work for the government so not keen to go in and get abused on my way to the office 😂