9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@FlyOnTheWall89 so sorry to hear about the 0% morphology! Glad to hear you’ve managed to have a laugh - sometimes it’s the only way to get through isn’t it? I have never heard of nicotine pouches! But glad he’s on board with kicking the habit. Have they said they think that might be the issue? And do you have a timeline of when they’ll test again? I guess in maybe about 3 months would be a good length of time to see some positive changes? Seeing Dr Ramsay could be a good idea, maybe you could try and get that booked in? Do you know how much it would cost? Sorry a million and one questions! It is all very bizarre but glad you’re advocating for yourself, sometimes it’s all you can do!

No major update from me. AF due over the weekend or Monday. Boobs really sore and have very watery CM so I think AF is on the way. After the initial heap of spotting it eased off and now I am just getting the odd bit of pink when I go to the bathroom. So feeling less panicked about spotting at the moment. Bit gutted that my hopeful side got the better of me and I was dreaming of telling my husband I was pregnant on our anniversary trip. I should know better after a year TTC to get my hopes up 😞 still praying for that post-HSG boost!

@BritInNZ you have to laugh. Obvs there were a lot of tears too. But it is so stressful for us as a couple and we hate that we couldn't just make a little one without have to have all these conversations and tests and appointments. I have faith. We will get there.

No advice or insight was given at all. In fact the doctor said at this point we can't guarantee it is a male infertility factor (despite my tests being normal) - I think they would need more tests or something. She said at the very earliest 3 months for a fertility referral appt on the NHS. I've called Mr Ramsay a few times without luck and I've emailed his PA today to see what the price is and when they can fit us in. Hoping that might be what we do just do we have some expert advice on supplements and perhaps he can do another SA and check everything else is normal down there. We will repeat the analysis in 2-3 months and see what it says.

So hopeful for you post HSG and I'm glad the spotting has subsided xx

Thanks for the new thread @BritInNZ

@FlyOnTheWall89 sorry to hear about your results but it sounds like the other women on here can offer some good advice. How are you feeling? I hope this isn't the worst thing to say and ignore me if it is but if you have your answer then you know what you need to work on and hopefully doing that will make a difference. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Also it sounds like Mr Ramsay is the best of the best so if you can speak to him I'm sure that will help. It's hard when it's all so expensive though.

@Hopefullywaiting01234 and @Tinkerbell098 I had a scan last year to check on a cyst which I have in my left ovary and said I was TTC so asked that they had a good look and they said everything was fine but haven't had a proper fertility scan. I think we will wait 6 more months then go for a private consultation which includes all tests and scans. I haven't had my AMH done but I've read about it and I asked the fertility consultant yesterday who said what I've read which is that if you're trying to conceive now AMH isn't that helpful to know, all that should matter is you're ovulating every month. She did say it might make us decide to do IVF sooner rather than later so maybe in another 6 months or so I would get it done.

@Aubyone good to hear from you please do keep in touch and keep sending us allll the positive wishes!

@kmbegs oh really that is interesting to know about the AMH and has made me feel a bit better as I think I am ovulating every month. Yeah I know exactly what you mean don’t want to be rushing into going private and spending unnecessary money; good to set an end date x

@Hopefullywaiting01234 yeah I specifically asked about this as I see people talking about it and I haven't had it done. The consultant said if you're getting regular(ish) periods then you will be ovulating every month. Even if you have a low AMH they wouldn't recommend IVF before two years of trying so basically try for two years then get an AMH test. If you get a good number then you could carry on trying naturally if you want, if not you might want to go for IVF sooner. Which makes sense I think and that's what I've read. Actually the fertility acupuncturist I've seen said the same, she helped me with the private tests I did before (full hormone profile etc) but said no point with AMH for now.

Yes I agree re AMH. It is really about quality, which cant be tested I don't think. I have read loads of threads re women with v low results who have been fine having multiple children over a good span of years.

Yes @kmbegs hopefully this is the reason and if we can improve it, we stand more of a chance of natural conception. Im just going to try and put TTC to the back of my mind and have sex as we usually would whilst my partner takes all these supplements and then we will see.

Just woke up to what I think is AF, how miserable. Although at least I was prepared as I've been spotting since Wednesday!!! Booked in to see my GP about the spotting in a couple of weeks time. Just don't see how this ISN'T preventing conception when I'm bleeding before implantation would even happen?! Fed up!

@LucyAnne34 tagging you into the group 😊

@borolass84 tagging you in too

@BritInNZ thank you

Your spotting sounds similar to mine @BritinNZ, I replied to your other thread but Mumsnet had a hissy fit and I couldn't post it! I have spotting three days before mostly, and more recently it's been brownish (sorry tmi), but almost like the slowest every bleed if that makes sense? My last period was completely crap and light too. GPs just don't seem to be concerned but it's so hard to not be concerned when you looks at everything your body does under a microscope!!!! Gaaahhh load of balls. Hope everyone is doing ok and staying positive x

@BritInNZ thanks for the tag.

@FlyOnTheWall89 hope you manage to get an appointment with Mr Ramsay. Hope the supplements and the lifestyle changes will work.

@kmbegs hope you’re feeling better now. I also think AMH is a little bit pointless unless you’re going for IVF as it doesn’t say much about egg quality. Fingers crossed you’ll have you post hycosy boost and won’t need further tests/appointments.

@Pineappletarts that's so odd they wouldn't let you reply! I had spotting for four days and then AF finally got into full swing today. So lame 😞

So I had a cry day yesterday and then picked myself up today. Husband was amazing and very supportive, but doesn't make it any easier. I ended up down a Google rabbit hole today about chances of conceiving naturally with unexplained infertility and it did make me feel a bit better. Will give things until 18 months and then get sorted for IUI I think. Although still not mentally ready to think about IVF (not that I can get that for another 5 years...)

Thanks for the new thread @BritInNZ. Sorry to hear AF arrived. I've definitely ended up daydreaming about telling DH, my family etc. even though I try not to get my hopes up. How are you feeling about the Omicron situation in NZ? Some of the recent covid LOIs were very close to my work, which is a bit scary, though I know all the UK posters on here have had to deal with that for a while now!

Just read all your messages but at a hot tub lodge for a friends bday so can’t reply to all as it’s mad here haha. Thanks for tag! It doesn’t notify me for some for some reason. Love to all

I think it's my broadband @BritInNZ, it's a bit pants and sometimes it says Mumsnet servers are down etc. I have a private consultation later this week so will ask about spotting and report back. Like you I worry my lining isn't thick enough and falling out too early. Sorry to hear you have AF X

@BritInNZ I also had a cry yesterday. Hope you're feeling better today. It does help sometimes. Keeping everything crossed. Have you had all relevant tests done and your husband too? If so, maybe it really will happen so soon. It could be just around the corner.

Feeling a bit sad about my 10.7 AMH score. Wondering if I should have a follicle count scan to put my mind at ease even though rn it's pointless as the sperm need to get up to speed. I just feel so unsupported. So unguided. The NHS doctors results and what they deem 'normal' doesn't always match what fertility clinics want to see and my first set of bloods, they didn't even ask what day my cycle was so how do they know they're normal? I feel the only way to get some support and guidance is to pay for it privately. The enormous back log means we probably wouldn't have a referral appointment for many months yet.

@BritInNZ I meant to say to you - one of my other questions to the fertility consultant was about my spotting and I said I have some months had it from 9DPO and she said it wasn't anything to worry about. To be honest I did feel like she was quite dismissive generally but maybe we can be a bit reassured that the experts really don't think that it's an issue? Also so sorry about AF, some months are really really tough. I hope you're feeling better now but even if you're not just be kind to yourself. Your husband sounds great as well. I know it doesn't make it easier though. Can I ask what you found about unexplained infertility?

@FlyOnTheWall89 that doesn't sound like a bad score. How old are you? Otherwise I agree you need to do your own research and be your own advocate, which you really shouldn't need to. I still feel shocked that I'm getting no other help from the NHS, so they've basically done two blood tests and one SA and nothing had come up so that's it and I'm on my own. I think like you say it feels like you need to go private to actually get anywhere, which is shockingly expensive and lots of people just can't afford it. Anything from mr Ramsay?

If it makes anyone feel better my husband and I were chatting about trying again this month and he said "please no more of the lube, it's like having sex with a paddling pool" 😭😭😭🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@kmbegs I just feel like I don't have the knowledge to help myself - none of us do I guess and yet there are no answers for months and months and it's so mentally draining not knowing and not having any reassurance. Every change takes months to take affect so time just feels like it slips away. I'm nearly 33.

Yes we got an email back and they have appointments at the end of Feb. We need to just decide when to start shelling out that sort of money ... is it better to take Proxeed (on the recommendation of the internet) for 3 months and then take another SA and see if it's improved...or is it better to see Dr R and see what he says / what he thinks will help and what other tests we need. We are currently weighing all this up.

Oh dear - funny but exhausting comment - men just don't get it sometimes. Have you tried EPO rather than artificial extra 'slide'. It really works for me. I know some others tried it, but not sure if you were one of them.

No spontaneous tears today. I'll take that for a win! X

@FlyOnTheWall89 feeling heaps better after a cry day. All the crying gave me such a bad headache, I had to go to bed early! I'm not sure if 10.7 is bad or not? And also not sure if they use the same measurements here because my AMH is 22? Which seems really high to what others have said 😂 and I wasn't told it was excellent, just as expected for my age. Yep had all the relevant tests done, only think left would be laparoscopy but they won't do that as elective surgery on public funding here, and I don't want to spend $15k on it for them to not find anything!

@kmbegs yes hopefully it's nothing of concern but it still worries me! I found that in research there's still a high chance of getting pregnant naturally. This study was interesting: academic.oup.com/humrep/article/26/2/360/595834

I've actually got an appointment with a fertility nutritionist in a couple of weeks. They look through all blood tests, understand my cycle and then recommend a meal plan and supplements. I figured I'd rather do something to help my chances over the next few months than do nothing and end up going down the IUI track (which doesn't actually have that good results). I'm excited to see how it goes! I've put it off far because we eat healthily and always cook from scratch etc, but it's my last resort now.

@BritInNZ that research article looks promising. We are also thinking how much longer we would try before considering other options (IVF/adoption). Hope the appointment with the nutritionist goes well and they'll be able to help you, although it sounds like you're already making healthy choices.

@FlyOnTheWall89 great you can get an appointment with Dr R that soon. How much would it cost per appointment? Hope the new supplements will work and you'll know in the next couple of months. I know what you mean. I've also been making changes every month hoping it'll do something, but it then takes another 3-4 months to see if there was any benefit. It's so frustrating. I'm 36 now so feel like I'm losing time, especially if we want a second child.

@kmbegs I've actually bought the twoplus sperm guide you posted about a few days ago. It actually works better for us than the fertilily cup as I had trouble keeping it in. This one is quite good and stays in place and not uncomfortable at all. The only downside is you need to insert it before DTD.

Another question girls - What do you think about hot baths and impact on sperm? My DH loves his baths and also the jacuzzi at the gym. I have heard that this can seriously impact on sperm count and quality, but at the same time don't want to tell him he can't do it. It's not like he does it everyday, probably three times a week. What are your thoughts? Am I overthinking?

@Carla2601 here's the new thread 😊

@Tinkerbell098 how long have you been trying for now? Regarding DH and his love of baths and jacuzzi's, has he had a semen analysis? I guess you won't know until you've had all the results back - if it's low on anything then he can trim it back?

@Carla2601 replying to your comment on previous thread on here. HSG went well, was a bit uncomfortable as they couldn't get the catheter through my cervix but they got there in the end, and good news is both tubes are open. Was officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility last week and next step is IUI if nothing has happened by June. Just using a nutritionist now to do all I can to try and not go down that route!

@BritInNZ yes so that is the same measure as mine. There is another unit of measure but it produces v low results like between 1 and 4. For 30-34, normal on some sites is between 5.6 and 48 so you can see there is a huge range and I'm the lower end of it, but some count 10.7 as low. You're a bit younger than me which probably makes a bit of a difference at this 'key' age. Yours defo stays in all the normal ranges I've read about. Apparently it can stay the same for a while but I think it's highlighted to us that we want to be pregnant this year because time probably isn't on our side so if we are not naturally pregnant, we will get ICSI sooner rather than later and freeze some eggs too... I'm not sure how this works but that is our conclusion. It will be really interesting to speak with a nutritionist- I've read lots about eating plenty of nuts which we already do and like you, we cook everything from scratch and have a pretty good diet. I wonder what her insight will be!

@Tinkerbell098 initial consultation is £280 but they make it very clear that it may cost £1000 if other tests are required (which in our case we know they will be). I would get your DH to do an SA. Tbh, I wished I had pushed mine into doing on earlier. It's an incredibly easy and cheap test. Hot tubs are a big no and I think baths can't be too hot and probably limit the time in the bath. It is one of the big things mentioned on every page you read. However, I understand it is so so hard to say anything / convince someone when you don't really have any proof it's doing any harm at this point. A test will either put your mind at rest and he can carry on with baths etc or maybe a less than good results being in black and white will make him reduce use / stop for a while. For me I think I'm a bit frustrated that it has taken so long to identify what is most likely to be the problem when really a male factor is easiest to work on, but it just takes time.

Welcome to the new thread @Carla2601