IVFers thread

[TheMNPeacekeepingForce]

Anyone fancy starting an ongoing thread for those who are having IVF/ are planning to try again via IVF soon?

Ds was conceived via IVF - he's now 2.6 and we're stepping back on the scary rollercoaster ride with a FET - I started taking the drugs yesterday!

That's fab NMM. Let us know how you get on.

OAP, LOL about your DH! I am just thinking of the at least I didn't forget this time conversation!!!

I know it doesn't sound like I need to lose lots, but I am finding it quite difficult to lose this last 1/2 stone. Its been around since DS so it would be nice to see it go and get back into some clothes I haven't worn for a very long time.

Recreational sex I don't think I have had that in over 10 years, saying out loud almost makes me want to have an affair, to know what its like again. Soosy sobs quietly into a cup of tea!!!

Oops bambilocket, missed your post completely. Sounds as though you have had a tough time, hope you are luckier this time. Don't talk to me about stopping, not very good at thinking about that!!!

Am getting myself all worked up and nervous now - can any of you help me out with what sort of things I ought to be asking tomorrow or expecting to be told about? I know I'll think of 1001 questions afterwards but my mind's blank right now. Assume I don't know anything (I don't apart from what I've already learnt from this thread) and help me out please either with questions to ask or any advice you have for me! Thank you

NMM, I had a great big long post typed out for you and the PC crashed! Sorry. In essence I said that the consultant should take you through what will happen, so this may well raise questions in your mind anyway

Main things to ask are around timing - when can you start etc, what drugs will be used, how often scans are done, the clinic's success rates and their estimation of your own personal success rate. Not sure if you are private or NHS, but lots of info on costs should be given if private. They should also check your history and that of your DH, looking at what has brought you to them.

Can you check the clinic's website tonight - this should have lots of basic information on it which will help you both tomorrow

Do you know if they are going to do any tests tomorrow - I had an internal scan at my first consultation, but this was to check on a known problem with my tubes and to look for hydrosalpinx as well. I've also had day 2 blood tests done at the same time, as it fitted in with my cycle.

Best of luck anyway, do let us know how you get on

NMM it might be an idea to write anything you may want to talk about down, then you won't forget at the crucial moment. I wouldn't worry too much at this first appointment, as you will probably be told that you have to have some tests,if you haven't all ready, nd to return when these are done. Like OAP says they will be done at certain times of your cycle and this will all be explained to you.

Are you in London? as here most clinics don't have much of a wait between tests and starting treatment. At the C& W all tests are carried out in the Gynae dept as as soon as you step into the ACU you are either charged or have to prove you are funded. Bloody nightmare. So it may be the same for you if you are in an NHS hospital.

Good luck, don't panic, if you forget to ask there will be another opportunity.

S x

Bambi - meant to say that it looks like you have been through the mill a bit. Do you respond well to the drugs on the fresh cycles and produce good embryos? Looks like you have good indications for this time around anyway, fingers crossed for you

Oooh nomore.....how exciting...and yes, scary....I wish I was starting all over again though!!! I really hope it all goes well tomorrow for you.
X

bambi......sounds like you've had a grim old time...welcome to our thread.
I'm so pleased that we are carrying on with it. I thought I was going to have to leave you all as we will probably not be having another go at IVF. Thisone was NHS and, unless we win the lottery, I don't think we can afford another go.
At least I can lose weight and keep nattering to you all.

I've got about 10 pounds to lose....7 at least. Only put a couple of pounds on during IVF but probably about another 5 in the last couple of days!!! LOTS of chocolate been consumed!!!!!

AF still very light but I did an 'official test yesterday am and was the expected BFN.....stopped my progerterone today so I expect a heavy and horrid flow tomorrow. [boo hoo]

SS....hope your fainting has stopped. Nasty.

PMSL at your DH's comments OAP....I agree with soosy...what is recreational sex anyway??!!!!
I think after 8 years of ttc you actually forget that it's supposed to be fun!!

So....when should I stop eating these chocolate mint matchmakers then??!!
I've just bought an 'interesting' book...."Get off your ar*e and lose weight"...delightful!!!

I'm 36 BTW.

Thanks guys - as far as I'm aware it's more of a meet and greet/get to know you/intro to the unit type of thing. Our test results/notes from the hospital gynae unit have been sent through to the clinic already and we're NHS so hopefully they won't want to see our credit card straight away. I think my main question will be timescales and drugs, I have already looked at the stats etc on the HFEA website and on the clinic's own website too. I di this before we even got referred so I had some idea of where I wanted us to be referred to.

Hi Coggy - so sorry you won't be trying again any time soon - we're in the same position, once on the NHS and then who knows? We're saving already for a self-funded cycle if NHS one doesn't work, but it might be a while off. If only we could rig win the lottery

Make sure you let us know how you get on.
I shall be thinking of you tomorrow.....it's an exciting journey to take....

X posted...twice!

DH said the other day that if it cost a couple of thousand then we'd do it.
When I told him it was more like 5 or 6 he rapidly changed his mind!!!

We always said we would stop after NHS treatment but it's VERY frustrating as only a couple of hundred miles up the road they have up to 4 goes on the NHS. ...'snot fair!!

4 goes Where do I have to move to for that?? We've only just got in on one as I'm only 30 which is the lower age limit for NHS IVF treatment.

Wow, 4 goes on the NHS, that's fantastic. It makes me so angry when I hear that infertility isn't an illness etc etc. I have PCOS and endometriosis which may have blocked one of my tubes - are these not illnesses a side effect of which is not being able to conceive?
Thanks for having me on the thread, it sounds like everyone has been through the mill. Yes, I did respond well to the drugs, 1st attempt I got 8 eggs (1 immature) 5 fertilised and they were all great embryo's top grade and 6 or 8 cells. On the next attempt I got 10 eggs, 7 fertilised but the quality wasn't so great and they were all 4 cells apart from one 6 cell - and while both cycles worked the second one produced dd - I suppose you just can't tell. The fet last November used the 3 remaining embys from round one as I was so convinced they would work being so good to start with but they degraded a lot and only scored 2.5 after the defrost - they all survived and 2 were replaced, no result. I wish I'd asked for all 3 to be put in now but never mind. The clinic I wnet to has recently removed it's statistics from it's website which is a bit worrying. BTW I think it works out at just over £3K for a cycle there, £2.4 + drugs - some charge more than others, some are better than others, it's a minefield!
Coggy, I'm meeting my consultant today too as it's nearly a year since we last had a meeting - good luck for yours

Ooh, so sorry, I've got confused on names. Coggy, I was hoping to tell you about the cost at my clinic as it seems to be cheaper for you and its NMH who has an appointment. So sorry, I'll get the hang of it asap.

Oh Coggy so sorry to hear your news, I hope you will be able to have another try. I agree with Bambi that it is outrageous that contraception and social abortions are freely available on the NHS, but fertility treatment or having a family is a "lifestyle choice" and so not available. Its like if you decide no to have a baby we will help you but not if you do want one.

Please go and have your follow up consultation though coggy, there may be suggestions he can make if you continue to try naturally until you can afford or this government changes, or changes it's policy. We were the world leaders in fertility treatment now we lag behind.

Sorry rant over. SS how are you? I hope you are not feeling too bad and your Private doc can shed some light on what is happening.

NMM hope all goes well today.

OAP nice to see you, hope you are well.
Sx

hello all. coggy

Don't want to bleet on about injectons & hormones etc. just wanted t let you know we have scan on Thursday at Create, Harley St. Then all being well FET a few days later. I am crapping myself as this is always the worst part for me, the transfer then the awful looooong 2ww . I am thinking of you all just not about a lot as feeling very antisocial & you lovely ladies have enough to deal with without me moaning my face off..x.x.x.x I be back on line once FET has taken place. Hello to any new faces. Big {{{hugs}}} to all of you that need it. You are all very brave...you do know that don't you

EHM.....hope all goes well with your FET....we shall all be crossing everything madly for you.
X

Bambi....I used to have to write everyone down when I first started MN. It took me ages to get my head round all the acronyms and keep up....don't worry...you're doing well!

I phone my clinc this afternoon to tell them that the cycle hadn't worked and you'll be pleased to know soosy that we will be going to a follow up meeting in 3 or 4 weeks time.
I also spoke to the (very nice) nurse about cost and she said about the same as you bambi...that it was around £2,400 for treatment and £600 ish for drugs.....so I guess it's a possibility now...that's half of what I thought and only a bit more than DH said.....HURRAH....the finality of ttc is not over yet!!!!!

Having said that, we will see what the cons says when we meet him. But it's amazing how much more positive I now feel just having that option...even if we decide no to use it.
Weird....

...but good.

nomore...hope you got on well today.
X

Coggy I am so pleased that this is not the end, You have been very brave and you deserve some good news. You are also very determined and it would be a shame if funding was your only issue. I am with the NHS!

EHM Great news about FET, please tell me what yo think of your clinic as it has been recommended I get a 2nd Opinion and I have no idea where to go. One of the places that my consultant recommended does not do any other treatment than the C&W, where we are now, and I need somewhere which may use steroid and anticoagulant therapies. all so complicated.

S x

Oh Coggy that is such good news! Am so pleased that you may have the option of continuing with IVF later on if you want to.

I know our clinic charges a fortune - was probably around £4K last time, nearer £6K this but they do use the most expensive drugs known to mankind I think. Looking at clinics in the north now and the treatment seems to be around £2K (rather than £3K here) and the drugs recommended are the cheaper ones - at least I think Gonal F is cheaper than puregon?? We are extremely lucky in that we are currently renting, having sold our house last year, and so we can dip into our deposit savings to pay for treatment. Sure DH will notice one day that our savings have shrunk dramatically!

EHM, best wishes for Thursday. I've never had a FET before, hope all goes well for you. I suppose you have the same worries as a normal IVF really? And that dreaded 2WW.

I have to say that there is a theme to some of our posts - wives who feel a bit on the chubby/flabby side with DH's who don't seem to see much action. Not sure who to feel sorry for really - us or them!

Have just made a huge mistake - was looking on the Fertility Friends website and was lurking on the thread for my clinic, only to find that someone who tested the same date as me is pregnant. Feel very sad now. I mean, I do realise that IVF works some cycles and not others, it was just seeing that little ticker thing saying she was pregnant, it made me realise again that I wasn't, IYSWIM. Poo. And everyone I saw this morning was pregnant too.

Am off to have a large glass of wine and a hot bath as at least I can do that

oh bu**er OAP sorry about your boob. It does make you feel a bit useless, but we are not. A friend told me the other day, she has 3 children all of which took her quite some time to conceive naturally, said 'of course when you do ivf once that's like one month of ttc and I was considered to have normally fertility and it still took me five years to conceive my daughter. so in a way it's a miracle anyone doing ivf gets pg!'

It will happen OAP. I saw my acupuncturist today and she said that she thought I just need a lot of calming down as she thinks I get v Stressed but don't show it. (she's probably right.) So I got out my hypnotherapy CD, yes, I have tried most alternative treatments to aid me in my quest for a family, and i listened to it and I think it might help a bit. It may stop me getting frustrated with DS's more frequent demonstrations of independence, now he is 3.

Hello Coggy thank you for your understanding re. names. By the way, the clinic I go to uses purgeron (sp!) and the drug cost is 6 - 8 hundred. They also do a deal, which is what I am going to do, pay £6400 up front for x3 ivf (not drugs) if it works you get money back so that the cycles cost you something like 2400, 2100 and then 1800 - if you need all three you've saved about a grand and if it works earlier you still save some - mind you you have to find 6400 + drugs in the first place! I had my consultant appt yesterday, last saw him last March and he gave us 20-25 % chance of success, now, one year later and having had my 40th it's down to 10-20 % - gloom. still, I'm glad I waited, I have dd and she was breastfed for a year - up until I had to inject for the fet so I feel like I did the right thing, it's just it's such a game of chance and I'm not a natural gambler. I fully expect this to work first time and produce twins...it's very unrealistic and I will almost certainly be disappointed but, on the other hand, it's probably also helpful to believe in it so much, the power of positive thinking... I had acupuncture with the cycle that produced dd - more money but I'm up for doing it again. asked cons about it yesterday, he says he's yet to be convinced, apparantly before recent positive study there was one that was quite negative so for him, the jury is still out - I'm going for it, it worked for dd means its good in my book. Get quite superstitious actually, have got my IVF pyjamas that I will be wearing for EC and ET, pink gingham M&S, very fetching!

Hi there everyone
Ive been taking a MN break recently but back now. Hope you are all doing ok, despite all the s*itty stuff.

Sitting here eating a huge pack of choc buttons meant for DD rewards so I know I need the weight loss - 3/4 to 1 stone to go for me. The hormones and stress are a lethal combination. I need to stop snacking, and comfort eating and start exercising..... easier said than done.

Ive been having a break as was stressed by horrible cramping last week, which normally means AF is on the way. Anyway, got through that but sadly had a very early m/c this morning. Only just out of the 2ww - day 16. Feeling pretty cr*p but then you have to go on. Not sure what to do next really but Im sure I will think of something eventually.

Welcome Bambi! Good luck in your new cycle. Despite not having success myself I really believe acupuncture helps (lots of research recently). It also makes me feel a little (tiny) bit more sane in all of this. Your ivf pygamas sound lovely. I used to have a pair of 'lucky' ivf knickers that I would wear for EC and ET. Sadly they have been relegated as didnt bring luck.

Coggy - glad you can look at another cycle if you want to. Clinics vary sooo much with costs. Also worth factoring in all the blood tests you need to have while monitoring (are they included?) Ours add nearly £500.

Soosy - what happened about your house move? Talking clinics in London (as you did ask earlier) I think we are going to talk to ARGC. Im not sure if Im up for more but I guess I need to know where we stand. It seems from what I hear that Taranissi is the place to go with complex problems and repeat failures.

SS- Hope you are ok? Im really sorry about the m/c. Hope you are feeling a bit better.

OAP - Oh no, seeing/hearing other's pg news is hard. Hope you are ok.

Nmore - How was your appointment? What did you think of the clinic (I think first impressions really count).

WM - glad to see you back here too and you and DH are ok.

EHM - Hope your scan goes well? Are you taking lots of drugs for the FET?

Sorry if Ive missed anyone. Hard to keep track, esp with hormonal headache.

I laugh at recreational sex stuff! How true. 'Having' to do the deed really takes the of fun out of it. I would soooo want to get pg naturally (another miracle required) but that actually requires BD which Im dreading again (having been 'signed off games' for treatment). Poor long suffering DH.

Hi
Wow this thread has been busy whilst I've been 'away'.

I will reply more later but basically ended up being sent to A&E by my GP on Mon night, sat there for 3.5 hours, and was then admitted overnight for the most ridiculous reasons. Got back yesterday lunchtime having had 3 hours sleep but the 'good' (did I ever think a m/c would be good?) news is they scanned me and think it's a complete m/c rather than an ectopic so we're hoping the hcg levels will go down now rather than up.

It's been a bit of an ordeal!

More later just got loads to catch up on with work etc.