IVFers thread

[TheMNPeacekeepingForce]

Anyone fancy starting an ongoing thread for those who are having IVF/ are planning to try again via IVF soon?

Ds was conceived via IVF - he's now 2.6 and we're stepping back on the scary rollercoaster ride with a FET - I started taking the drugs yesterday!

[Onlyaphase]

Hi all

Well, I had two embryos replaced last Wednesday, so the mad driving up and down the country from London to Essex to North Yorkshire has temporarily stopped. I did think that we were solely responsible for petrol shortages at one point last week, shortly before we went to Scotland for the weekend. Mad though it sounds, I find I do less when I am at someone else's house and I am trying to keep as inactive as possible this week. I find it very difficult at home to not do the weeding/hoeing/lawn mowing that is so desperately needed, plus we only moved 6 weeks ago and the new kitchen is finally in place, so I have lots of unpacking and moving boxes to avoid as well. Easier if I'm not here really

I did find it less hard doing this cycle than before I think - I managed to get 10 eggs this time, more than ever before (yes, good news!) then only half fertilised (not so good) and then none left to freeze either. But I am determined not to second guess every symptom next week, and not to test before 25 June - last cycle I had virtually the same symptoms as on my successful cycle - faint nausea, dizziness, needing a wee in the night - which really messed with my mind when the cycle wasn't successful, so this time I am really going to try to forget about it and not second guess everything. I'm sure this will be easier said than done next week!

Hope everyone else is well. Soosy, do you have a move date yet?

[soosy]

Hi OAP glad to hear all went well and you have two beanies on board. Have no move date trying to find a rental which is quite difficult. Have found one on internet tonight, but it looks nice and I am sure will go before we can look at it. Hoping to leave the smoke beginning August.

How did you find your treatment with all the travelling, as although we are not moving half as far as you I am not sure what to do for our remaining two vials of sperm, (last two attempts). DS will be in Nursery, but only mornings and I don't have enough time to get there and back in a morning, I suppose he would have to come with me, so I would arrange treatment during hols. Its all getting complicated and I am getting older, not a good mix.

[Onlyaphase]

Hi Soosy

The travelling and staying in London actually worked out much better than i thought it would. I had visions of me, DH and DD spending one night on the houseboat and then I would have to phone a friend and beg for a spare room for a couple of weeks! In reality, it was lovely to be on the boat with DH, and DD adapted really well to keeping later hours than normal and not having a garden to play in. My biggest fear was always walking along the pontoons to get to the boat, but DD was harnessed up and I gripped her hands and harness each time and it worked fine, no untimely swimming!

Each of my clinic appointments was in the morning, so it would be about an hour and 15 minute drive each way. DD and DH came with me each time - there isn't any childcare at the clinic really and I didn't want to impose on the lovely nurses there, so DH had to come along. Plus DD is only 19 months so is very active and doesn't understand or follow instructions at all, so isn't at the best stage for leaving with a stranger for 15 minutes if it can be helped. For EC, DH went and did his bit first and then he took DD to the zoo for a couple of hours before collecting me.

I'd be happy to go back to the clinic again if need be, rather than find a new one. It is so much nicer to go back to a small clinic where you know people already.

For you though, do you have any other childcare or could you extend DS's hours at nursery at all? It is only for a couple of weeks after all.

Good luck finding a rental too - I had this last April and it was a nightmare, but we did have 2 dogs and cats and a small baby so weren't ideal tenants in retrospect. Once we found a house it was all pretty smooth. It is odd renting after so many years in your own house.

[Britgirl58]

Hello Ladies,

I have just had a BFP this morning as a result of ICSI (TTC for 7 years. DH low sperm count and motility).

This has been my second cycle of IVF and me and DH are reeling from the happy shock.

I spend the 2ww desperately analysing every twinge my body made and had no obvious physical signs or symptoms that I was pregnant.

I just wanted to say to all you ladies doing treatment to keep up the optimism as medical science is a wondrous thing.

Keep your fingers crossed for the next 38 weeks for me!

Britgirl58

[swerve]

britgirl! how wonderful!!! It does work! It does! It does!! congratulations! keep it safe and look after yourself.

OAP, glad to hear you're looking after 2. I hope this next week isn't too stressful and you keep your mind occupied on other things. I found it really important to think about other things (well, that's the theory at least!). We hope your bubbles are staying safe.

[soosy]

Congrats Britgirl hope the next 36 weeks go well!

Thanks OAP, I think probably we would have to schedule treatment during hols, which shouldn't be too bad. It shouldn't have taken this long to get pg again! I thought I would have my number 2 by now, and not juggling DS school and appointments!

I hope your 2ww is going ok.

Still haven't made my follow up appointment yet, must do it tomorrow.

Sx

[Onlyaphase]

Britgirl, such good news for you, congratulations! Hope the next 8 months go smoothly for you all!

Hope everyone is well - I feel so grumpy today, really premenstrual, crampy and shouty. And I also feel particularly UN-pregnant as well. And, one of my NCT group had their second child today. All in all, not one of my better days. Less than a week to test date, and really don't see the point today at all, I know what the result will be.

Soosy, I know exactly what you mean about the timing being not what you had expected. Once I'd decided I wanted children I wanted lots of children - a UK version of Cheaper by the Dozen - and considering I am now 38 with one child, it isn't going to plan! Still, I am incredibly grateful for DD and she definately isn't getting the shouty mummy, she gets all the niceness I have instead.

[soosy]

OAP Sorry to hear you are having a bad day and feeling crampy, I think everyone you know should be banned from annoucing Pregnancies and giving birth during 2ww it just makes it all to difficult. I know it all feels futile at the moment, but it is not over til it is over . I am so pleased that someone the same age as me! trying to get PG again. I know my cousin thinks I am mad, but my friends are all so optimistic. We have two attempts left. Like you, since I was 15, I wanted a cricket team and thought I might get half of one. I think you are probably a nicer mummy but DS gets far more attention and cuddles than his friends!

I think we are going to change to the Lister for our last two attempts as the Chelsea and Westminster is proving so bureaucratic that I cannot bear it any longer as it is starting to affect patient care, not medical but pastoral, IYKWIM.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you OAP.

[Onlyaphase]

Thanks Soosy, the voice of sanity tonight! Will sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow, keeping busy is definitely the key to retaining sanity.

Re changing clinics - you've nothing to lose by having a consultation at the Lister (or indeed several places) and seeing what they suggest. But I have heard very good things about the Lister.

[soosy]

OAp hope today is better, Have a lovely weekend I am thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed.

Sx

[nomoremagnolia]

Hi girls, sorry I've not been around.
OAP fingers crossed for you that all is well, I think we're well overdue for a BFP on here.
Sadly DH's grandma died last weekend, after the disappointment of the ivf failing on thurs he had a phonecall on Fri saing 'you'd better come and see her' and she died on Sat night. So the nomore household has been a rather somber place this past week. Sorry to post bad news but wanted to explain my absence, didn't want you thinking I had abandoned ship after failing ivf.

[sootykalucy]

Hi girls, first of all so sorry to hear your news, swerve, soosy and nomore! Golly we really have to turn this thread around don't we? Getting back from holidays and reading this thread in bulk is really heartbreaking, especially if you cheat and read backwards as I did. . . seeing all that hope and knowing the outcome . . . what can I say, except I know how you feel

My camping trip to France was good, but I did fall apart a bit in the first week - the IVF cycle failing sort of hit me . .. but I got over it . . . and being able to go freeforall on stinky cheese and wine was nice . . . some compensation.

I got back to find that my clinic had moved my follow-up appointment forward a week and I had missed it! Can you believe the NHS ? They didn't even call ( I had my mobile). It makes me so angry, what a waste, for me and for the Dr who is having his time wasted! My hairdressers ring me to confirm appointments, you'd think that they'd ring to cancel one ! I will have to wait until Monday to talk to them . . .

Anyway, I hope you are okay nomore, I can understand why you might have retreated a bit - I know I did. And soosy, you trooper, hang in there. We have to be in luck soon - even just statistically speaking!

[sootykalucy]

Hi nomore, glad you are back - just wanted to say good luck to you OAP - lets hope you can turn this thread around.

[soosy]

Hi sooty glad to hear you had a good holiday. OAP hope you are ok and having a fab weekend. Nomore I hope you are lurking!

S x

[Onlyaphase]

Sooty, your holiday sounds lovely (apart from the falling apart bit) and am so glad you had a good time. Can't believe your appointment was changed without making sure you knew about it, especially at this time of year! What a waste of everyone's time and effort.

NoMore, sorry to hear about your DH's grandmother, such bad luck with timing and everything. I thought you had just retreated off the boards - I know I did last time as I couldn't deal with some of the threads for a while. Glad to have you back though.

I'm due to test on Wednesday and am pretty sure I know what the outcome is - I said to DH last night that I was sure it hadn't taken but even so, I didn't want to have a hot bath just in case (baths, swimming and sex forbidden by my clinic during 2WW). DH was surprised, but as I pointed out, on my successful cycle I had already tested positive after thinking something was up by now. So, although idly symptom spotting (do I need another wee already, is that cramping?), I am already thinking of the next treatment in September.

Heading south tomorrow as we have a funeral in Salisbury to go to - DH's aunt. Am taking DD - probably the most inappropriate thing to take to a funeral - but I'm not leaving her and at least all the relatives will get to see her at the reception afterwards. Must dash - MIL and grandMIL coming for lunch. Such fun I hardly know how to contain myself.

[soosy]

OAP sorry to hear you don't think things are happening. I really hope you are wrong. Planning next treatment is also quite wise, though gives you something to focus on. I think I will have to wait until christmas to do my next one with DS. I hope lunch isn't too bad. LOL at containing yourself!!!

[sootykalucy]

OAP I hope you're wrong - maybe you are just preparing for the worst. It's hard not to second guess it all, but it seems like there are no rules when it comes to symptoms . . . good luck for wednesday . . .

I rang the clinic and they were okay - made an appointment for me this week. They couldn't guarentee the Dr I liked, but I guess that is the NHS . . . it is wonderful that it is free, but sometimes it is also frustrating because your negotiating power is pretty minimal!

[Onlyaphase]

Right, lots of cramps today and a negative test. So no go this cycle. Am surprisingly OK about it really, feeling so much better than last time (but I truly did think I was pregnant then though). Must be because I didn't think it had worked, not even really deep down.

Will call clinic on Wed and see when I can start again. I am convinced that this is just a matter of time and number of cycles before we get lucky again, and I am determined to spend the intervening time getting fitter and doing all the things that I wouldn't be able to do if I were pregnant - taking DD cycling, redecorating house, digging up garden, moving boxes and furniture etc. So I am irked with life in general, but not too depressed yet. Maybe it will hit me later? When the rest of my NCT group announce their second pregnancies and debate how long it took them this time around?

Off to a funeral tonight, back Wed so I'm not disappearing off the boards to weep just yet.

[sootykalucy]

Sorry to hear this OAP .

I agree about trying to see IVF as an ongoing treatment though . . . it's not only rational (in that the statistics for cummulative attempts are much higher than per cycle) but it's the only way to keep your sanity. Chin up.

[swerve]

oh, OAP, that's just pants! I'm so sorry!

[soosy]

Sorry to hear your news OAP, You are right about keep going until it happens, that's certainly what happened with me and DS! I should just remember this when you go to your NCT meeting. A friend of mine just had her second child (through IVF, the first was natural) and had a girl another friend who has two boys naturally, was so she couldn't bring herself to talk to her. So even people who get pg easily have their moments. Sending lots of love.

Honestly though do you think we ought to start a new thread , something along the lines of Assisted Conception and the bits in between. What do you think, it may make us feel better to have a new home and leave the bad news behind.

[GorgonsGin]

hello there, can i join you ladies, on this thread or the new one suggested by Soosy?

I am sorry to hear about the negative test OAP.

I have read the thread from the start and there is so much good advice on here. We have just been referred to Hammersmith Hospital (I am another Londoner) for ICSI, after cycle monitoring and tests at St Mary's Paddington. All clear for me so far, but DH has a very low sperm count. We have been TTC since Dec 2006.

The waiting list is about 13 weeks, max, so I am not at the stage where we are undergoing IVF, but forewarned is forarmed, so I'd love to join in and have the benefit of reading about your experiences of IVF and tips etc. I think it is goign to be a rollercoaster of emotions ahead!

i think I have "met" a few people on here - nomoremagnolia - when I posted on the TTC threads as GryffinGirl.

[NappyValley]

Hello can I come lurk please?

Just been told that we will now need to go down route of IUI (apparently not very likely to work in our case) or IVF

So as I understand it our first step is to decide on which clinic to go to. Can you guys give me some help on things to looks for -
e.g. closest, best results, newest etc.

[sootykalucy]

Hi Nappy Valley and Gordon's Gin, welcome aboard. . . as to clinics I can only tell you about mine. I am at Homerton - NHS - which does private patients as well. I personally think it is pretty good. The surgery is pretty shabby being NHS, but appearances can be deceptive as the main guy in charge is excellent and he seems to have hired a lot of great staff. As it is a teaching hospital I guess there are incentives (research money) for the staff to be there. Having said that, being NHS sometimes the waiting time is very long and it can be frustrating. I don't know how their charges compare but if they are lower than other clinics I would give them a go.

No lets not change our thread Soosy, I am sure the statistics will come through for us, I think it would be faithless to jump ship!

I saw my fav. Dr today and he was very helpful. He says I can fast track to start downregging after only one month - as I am 39 he said it was probably better to push on rather than wait.

I am going to do a 'flash' cycle, which is basically that I downreg on the pill and then take suprefact for a day before taking menopur (contnuing with the suprefact). Aparently the first reaction to suprefract (before it suppresses your cycle) is to stimulate it. Has anyone done this before? I would be interested to see if it got results.

Amore.

[soosy]

OK Sooty, but we will have to change before we get to 1000 posts otherwise we self destruct!

Sooty, I do flash protocol too, but no downregging, just straight in with Menopur on D3 and then when follicles are about 15mm inject cetrotide to stop ovulation, it sort of bumps up your fsh with suppressing it. You won't feel so c**p with it as it follows your normal cycle and apart from taking the pill means you are not injecting for ages. Good Luck Sooty.