34 and ttc

[Dbd310]

Hi all,

Thought I set up a new thread for those of us who are 34 and ttc. I'm just starting my third cycle of ttc first baby. It's much harder to live this than I expected. Lots of my friends have struggled with fertility and so I didnt expect it to happen quickly, but living it is so different to the theory, isn't it?

Anyway, I know 3 months isn't a long time to be trying and is considered normal, but I guess I just worry about my age.

And being 34 doesn't seem that far away from 35 but I dont feel right posting in the 35+ ttc groups.

So if anyone is 34 and ttc hopefully we can have a little space here to talk / vent / stay sane!

C

BTW I know some people try for years and years so I know I don't really gave anything to complain about... but I'm also worried we will be trying for that long and tbh I dont think I could do that to myself!

Morning @Dbd310 !

I am also 34 (and a half!), so on the same train as you! Totally agree that all the waiting and planning really is much much harder in practice than theory. Especially as patience is not my virtue at all. 😂

We only started TTC at the beginning of October, and amazingly I got pregnant straight away, but sadly it ended in an early miscarriage a few weeks ago. So now we are on cycle #2…. My AF is due on Sunday and I’m not feeling ANY pregnancy type symptoms so 99% sure I’m out this month.

My OH is aged 41 so time is definitely not on our side.

Nice to have someone similar to me here :)

Hi @i123i

Thanks for replying. I suddenly feel less alone lol.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mc. That must have been really hard.

My best friend has struggled with fertility but now has two kids. She just told me to have fun and stop thinking about it. I find that incredibly unhelpful even more so as she's never been in the "nearly old" bracket.

But tbh financially we just couldn't have done it any earlier, I didn't want to be broke and have a kid. So I guess that decisions on me!

Are you ttc your first?

@i123i

Morning *@Dbd310* !

I am also 34 (and a half!), so on the same train as you! Totally agree that all the waiting and planning really is much much harder in practice than theory. Especially as patience is not my virtue at all. 😂

We only started TTC at the beginning of October, and amazingly I got pregnant straight away, but sadly it ended in an early miscarriage a few weeks ago. So now we are on cycle #2…. My AF is due on Sunday and I’m not feeling ANY pregnancy type symptoms so 99% sure I’m out this month.

My OH is aged 41 so time is definitely not on our side.

Nice to have someone similar to me here :)

Yeah I came on today. I thought I was out for thos month! Tbh I really try not to symptom spot, it's no good for my head!xx

Hi @Dbd310 and @i123i ☺️

I’m also 34 and ttc my first! We’re in the 4th cycle and my AF is due next Thursday. I’ve also got no symptoms whatsoever, so pretty sure this isn’t our month.

I completely agree that I knew it might not be easy, but the reality of getting BFN and then AF each month makes me so much sadder than I thought it would!

I’m sorry that AF has arrived for you @Dbd310. Have you got anything nice planned for the weekend?

I’m so sorry for your loss @i123i. I hope you get a sticky bean soon! x

Just to give you guys some hope! I am 35 and conceived on my 4th cycle after coming off the pill. Dh and I don't have the most active sex life so timing was important for us. I tracked my ovulation and got pregnant from a one-off dtd just at the right time!

34/35 really is no age these days. Fingers crossed for you all.

Yes its much harder in reality! We are so conditioned not to get pregnant and it only takes one sperm blah blah. It's such an inadequate education when you're a teenager, isn't it?!

I'm going to try to take the attitude that if it happens it happens. If it doesn't I'll have to find other things to fill my life up with! Like a dog!

I'm renovating my house at the moment so we've got diy to do at the weekend lol! What about you?

You're a month or so ahead of me in ttc!

@eggandchips37

Just to give you guys some hope! I am 35 and conceived on my 4th cycle after coming off the pill. Dh and I don't have the most active sex life so timing was important for us. I tracked my ovulation and got pregnant from a one-off dtd just at the right time!

34/35 really is no age these days. Fingers crossed for you all.

Ah thanks egg and chips! I don't know if hope is a good thing or not lol! I've just been sent an article saying that it's normal for people over 35 to take 1 to 2 years to conceive, which I guess is the reality for some people.

It appears I want neither hope nor reality!🙄😂

@Dbd310 and @ajayelbee - thanks for your kind words about the early MC. It was pretty heartbreaking for us, even though it was only at 5 and a half weeks, but the Early Pregnancy Unit were so kind about it which helped.

@Dbd310bd310 - yes, also TTC our first. Agree it’s a different type of worry compared to all my friends who had their babies a couple of years ago. And agree we should have been taught this at school - until a few years ago I didn’t know about the short fertile window each month at all!!!!

@eggandchips37 - thanks for the positive example!! :)

In order to make the TTW a bit more bearable I’m not being insanely strict on things like coffee and alcohol ie. I still drink a cup of coffee a day and sometimes may have a glass or two of wine at the weekend. Don’t want to put my life on hold for 2 weeks every month!

(Forgot to say I did a test this morning and obviously a BFN! I’m about 10dpo).

Hi i123i

Sorry about your bfn. I did one at 10dpo too and got the same. Aunt flow arrived the following day for me but I hope she stays away for you!

I'm going to really try not to test until my period is late in the future! Haha please direct me to this post when I'm testing again!

Yes I've not been insanely strict either. Although I always have tea or coffe without caffeine because if seems to make me anxious but I do have caffeine in coca cola. And I've had the odd pint or glass of wine during the "tww". As you say, you can't put your life on hold for two weeks out of every month.

Hi I'm 34 and trying for my second. I was 32 when I conceived my first and took 3 cycles. I'm currently on 4th cycle now and hoping it happens soon cause it really does take over you left, especially the dreaded 2 week wait. I did think it would take longer as I'm older but doesn't make it any less hard. Whereabouts are you in your cycle?

@Dbd310 in the last cycle I managed to not test until the day AF was due, as I didn’t actually buy any tests until then, but this time I have some in the house as I had to test 2 weeks after the MC to tell the EPU it was negative (in case not everything had come out). So my biggest tip for not testing early is to have none in the house 😂 Not always possible though when you buy multi packs of cheap strips!

@mumsie01 - welcome ☺️ Glad you had a short and successful first time round! Hope it is that way for your second too.
I think I’m around 10dpo (I have been using Natural Cycles for a long time (previously for birth control) and recently started using OvuSense too). My cycle has been a bit different so far (due to MC I think... I apparently ovulated on CD20 which is later than normal for me), so I am still waiting to see if AF arrives on the day predicted (Sunday).

Also in my TWW I have started regularly baking bread 😂 😂 Who am I? 😂 Helps relax and distract me but means I’ve put on a little weight!

@mumsie01

Hi I'm 34 and trying for my second. I was 32 when I conceived my first and took 3 cycles. I'm currently on 4th cycle now and hoping it happens soon cause it really does take over you left, especially the dreaded 2 week wait. I did think it would take longer as I'm older but doesn't make it any less hard. Whereabouts are you in your cycle?

Hi mumsie, yeah knowing it will take longer when you feel you don't have much time left is not a nice feeling. I got sent an article recently by a friend saying 1 -2 years at 35 + is normal. I already knew it but really didn't want thst reality thrown in my face 😕.

I'm on cd2 now. What about you?

[quote i123i]@Dbd310 in the last cycle I managed to not test until the day AF was due, as I didn’t actually buy any tests until then, but this time I have some in the house as I had to test 2 weeks after the MC to tell the EPU it was negative (in case not everything had come out). So my biggest tip for not testing early is to have none in the house 😂 Not always possible though when you buy multi packs of cheap strips!

@mumsie01 - welcome ☺️ Glad you had a short and successful first time round! Hope it is that way for your second too.
I think I’m around 10dpo (I have been using Natural Cycles for a long time (previously for birth control) and recently started using OvuSense too). My cycle has been a bit different so far (due to MC I think... I apparently ovulated on CD20 which is later than normal for me), so I am still waiting to see if AF arrives on the day predicted (Sunday).

Also in my TWW I have started regularly baking bread 😂 😂 Who am I? 😂 Helps relax and distract me but means I’ve put on a little weight![/quote]
Baking bread sounds ideal! I think I need some distractions! Might get back to yoga now the renovation is coming to an end!

I hope the witch stays away for you!

@i123i thank you I hate how it turns me into this crazy person, I just can't switch off from it. When you say your cycle is different do you mean irregular? I'm having that at the moment and it's making it so hard to know when my fertile window is. Last cycle was 40 days and before that was 29 🤷🏻‍♀️ have you been tempted to test? I got my bfp at 10dpo. I hope this is the month for you. Ha that's a good way to keep you occupied! If it works who cares about the weight lol

@Dbd310 hey! 1-2 years is a harsh reality 🙁 I know I am so lucky with how quickly I conceived the first time but still doesn't make it any easier, especially when you have friends who don't even try and get pregnant first time. I'm on CD9 but my af is all over the place atm so not sure when my fertile window actual is. Gonna start using cheapie ov tests at the weekend I think

@mumsie01 - it was slightly irregular this month due the MC at the end of last month, so I ovulated a few days later and it was a 31 day cycle (usually 28). I did tests on 10dpo and 11dpo but obviously both BFNs!!

@Dbd310AF - AF made its appearance in the middle of the night last night with the usual painful cramps 😭!! Oh well, CD1 for me, onwards from here…

Hi everyone,

How's everyone doing?

I've just turned 35 and just tested positive with 2nd child!
My first is 12 years old so I feel like a first time mother all over again

Ah congrats! So exciting! We are trying for our first. Did it take you very long?

Hey thought I'd hop on this thread if that's ok? I'm 34 and just starting to TTC our first :)

Heya yes of course! It's nice to meet people in a similar situation. Have you been trying very long?

Can I join as well? I'm also 34 and TTC #1. I'm only on cycle #2 but already worrying that it's going to be a long journey!

Just to give people some hope. I'm 34 and currently almost 35 weeks pregnant.

I fell pregnant on cycle 2, then had an early miscarriage and conceived again on cycle 6.

Will turn 35 in February xx

Yeah me too. This will be cycle 5. Feels like it's taking ages. Feel like something is up.

Cruely I'm 5 days late but getting negatives.