9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

Congratulations @Aubyone! That's such great news and hopefully the first of many BFPs to come 😊

Try going at it from as soon as you period ends. Every other day should cover it for a week.

Update - had fertility appointment this morning. Husbands SA still all good and was reassured my HSG was perfect, so officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Discussed next steps and if we get to may/June without a BFP, next steps will be a couple of rounds of IUI. Unfortunately with unexplained infertility, the public funding IVF isn't available for 5 years, and then a one year waiting list!!! Pretty demoralising and hoping it all happens naturally over the next few months. Hopefully @Aubyone's luck rubs off on me...

@BritInNZ I’m glad your HSG was perfect. I know it doesn’t give you any answers which is frustrating but it means there’s hope and you are doing all you can. I’m hoping you’ll also have the post HSG fertility boost and hope you won’t need to go through IUI/IVF. Finger crossed for you xx

@Aubyone thanks for the helpful tips. Wish you a smooth and healthy nine months. Lots of love your way xx

@kmbegs I’ve ordered the book you recommended and listened to a few their podcasts today. Super helpful! Thanks!
I’ve had a letter through today and have finally got an appointment for an ultrasound next Friday. That’s massive progress for me. Does anyone know if the go can refer you to get a hycosy done or is this something that will need to come through a gynaecologist?

That meant to say if the GP can refer you for hycosy**

@BritInNZ do they call it / deem it unexplained infertility after one year? Sounds pretty scary when they label it like that. Maybe you'll get a lucky number 14 too. At least you've done that appointment now and have a pathway sorted for the next fees. Hope you're feeling okay post appointment x

@FlyOnTheWall89 yep, because my tubes are open and I'm ovulating, and husband had good SA results, and we've been trying for a year, we're now classed as unexplained infertility. Bit scary but knew it was coming. Dr said he can't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to conceive naturally but if we get to 18 months and nothing has happened, he would say there's definitely something wrong as we're both healthy and have all the working parts.

I'm actually feeling a bit better now we're over that 12 month hump. Months 6-12 were definitely the worst, but we'll see how I feel when AF arrives 😂

Hoping for some of that post-HSG luck!!

@BritInNZ thanks for the update on your appointment and glad that it sounds like you're feeling okay about it. I know you weren't keen to jump to IVF anyway but a 5 year wait - wtf?! That's crazy! So many people don't start trying until mid or late 30s, they would have no hope.

@Tinkerbell098 yay I hope you find it useful. I find the podcast a little hit and miss (they have the best intentions but I find them a tiny bit low energy) but I think it's a good book, I've now read most of it and it only arrived Friday. And I think I'll re read it after.

Anyone else listen to podcasts and recommend any good ones on fertility? I find them weirdly comforting!

@Aubyone congratulations again and best of luck with your pregnancy. You've really lifted the group with your news and we needed it x

@BritInNZ ye I can see how maybe once you're past it, it feel okay. When I think of @Aubyone at 14 months.. I think that's only 4 more months for me and sort of forget the 12 month mark. Yes hoping for you to get some post HSG success... then I'll definitely be booking one. Sounds like the doctor is quite positive and I hope that is reassuring in a weird way considering he doesn't have a crystal ball but I'm sure he has seen 100's in your position. X

@FlyOnTheWall89 @BritInNZ I know what you mean, past the 12 months, it's like I've lost count, so in my head, it's "more than a year of TTC" as opposed to this many months TTC, and I feel like I'm getting closer to my BFP as statistically, it should happen any time. I think I will feel better once I get an ultrasound and hycosy done so I will get some answers and an action plan.
5 years wait for IVF sounds horrendous! Hope you don't have to go there and you'll get your BFP very soon. I am very optimistic for you that you will have your post-HSG luck! Fingers crossed for you!

Hi all, so off the back of @Aubyone's amazing news I called about a hycosy and it needs to be a Wednesday and day 1-3 of my cycle and tomorrow is Wednesday and day 4 of my cycle and they can fit me in. My one reservation is that I am away on a girls trip in March so if it gets done tomorrow then I'm missing a month of maybe being extra fertile. But I think I should just go for it. My husband really wants me to so that it's another box ticked. What do you all think? I guess if I didn't do it I would wait until April which feels so far away.

Sorry that was wrong - it needs to be between day 3-10 of my cycle not 1-3

@kmbegs ahh that's good news they can fit you in - I would go for it, personally, you'd still have this cycle and (depending on your cycle length) possibly even another one before March of possibly having the positive effect!

Only thing I'd consider is whether you'd be comfortable having it done if you're still bleeding from period. I mean, I'm sure they've seen it all before but I guess it's about your personal comfort levels. I had mine on Day 9 and it made me bleed a bit anyway, so I'm sure they are well well used to it!

@kmbegs that's great they can fit you in so soon! Could I just ask if you were referred by the GP or did you just ring up the fertility clinic to ask for an appointment? I want to get one done, but not sure how to go about getting one arranged? Thanks!

Thanks both. I just already felt anxious about being away from my husband over a fertile period, March will be the first month we haven't been able to try. So if I know I'm extra fertile I really really don't want to waste that. But also don't want to hang about.

@Aubyone I said to them on the phone that I would be bleeding and they said they're used to it and it's fine. I'm happy enough to go ahead anyway.

@Tinkerbell098 a few months back I started asking around about private fertility clinics and googling and this one seemed to be recommended. I called them last year and had a chat about wait times and whether you could just book in etc which was actually great just to understand wait times (there really aren't any as this has shown!). So I just called back this morning and asked to book in. No referral needed. It is £500 though....

Hi guys - so much to read! Just wanted to add that I got pregnant after 14 months of trying. I thought it was never going to happen once I’d passed that year mark, but it did! Even though I sadly lost it. I’m not sure whether you begin counting again after a miscarriage…but this will be my first cycle after my HSG. Period due next week. Having the label ‘unexplained infertility’ sounds pretty scary, but I suppose in a way that’s what I would come under too! I will have been off the pill in 2 years come April, with one pregnancy. (Some months we didn’t try). Let’s hope the 14 month mark is lucky for others! X

@kmbegs thanks! It’s good that a referral isn’t needed. I’m having a private appointment with a gynaecologist next week so following that I think I will go ahead and book one with the same clinic. I thought it would cost around that much but I think it will be worth it. Hope their waiting times aren’t that long. Did you need to get a chlamydia test done beforehand? Wondering if to get one done through the gp so it’s ready so I’m not wasting anymore time.

So great that they can fit you in @kmbegs. Let us know how it goes. I think I'll wait until I'm past the year mark for a HSG / further investigations.

I think I remember my doctors saying I needed a negative chlamydia test before fertility referral so might be good to get it done anyway as a tick in the box @Tinkerbell098.

@LucyAnne34 another month 14 success story! Fingers crossed it rubs off. I think for doctors, it is months since a MC... but ultimately, I guess if you've been trying for the whole time, it's still pregnant or not pregnant for all those months trying. It's so tough. X

@kmbegs I rang up the private clinic this afternoon to ask if they can book me in, and they said they need a referral from my GP/ consultant I'm seeing next week. So I'm having to wait for that. Also, they don't do hycosy, they only do HSG. I'm not sure what's better, but I guess it will be the same outcome.

@FlyOnTheWall89 yes good idea to get a chlamydia test done anyway as it would mean I'm not waiting around for more things. I will ring GP tomorrow to get that booked in.

@Tinkerbell098 my GP asked me to do a chlamydia test before my referral to the fertility clinic but the private clinic haven't asked for anything before the hycosy, they never even asked how long I've been trying. That's weird they said they need a referral but good you can hopefully get one really soon. I think HSG and hycosy are the same thing just different methods.

@LucyAnne34 sorry again about your MC, trying for 14 months then miscarrying must have been so awful and I'm so sorry you're still trying as well. Fingers crossed it happens for you soon.

That's me booked it in for tomorrow afternoon - wish me luck...

@kmbegs I asked the private clinic if I'd need a chlamydia test and they said no. But I'm going to ring up GP tomorrow to get this done as I think I'd need one at some point anyway since I've been referred to the fertility clinic too and don't want anything holding up appointments now.
Oh yey you decided to go with it tomorrow. I think I would have done the same as waiting has been frustrating. Wish you all the luck it goes smoothly, we are here for a chat before/after.

Hi everyone, I've got my thyroid blood results back today, TSH is down to 1.4 (was 3.0 back in July last year). I've heard this is ideal for conception, so happy about that.

@kmbegs hope everything's gone well today with your hycosy and was as pain free as possible xx

@Tinkerbell098 brilliant about the thyroid results. Did you book the chlamydia test?

So I am just back from the hycosy. I d honestly don't know what to say it was really really bad. The start was all fine, i could feel the catheter and balloon go in but no pain, just discomfort (and mild at that). Then when she put the dye in I had this instant awful pain, it was so bad my vision went white. Turned out my fallopian (?) tubes had both spasmed and completely closed. So she said they weren't allowing any dye in at all and basically that was that and she couldn't tell if they were blocked or not. I thought I was going to cry, it cost me so much money to get it done and I was thinking it's been absolutely pointless. But then she said we could give it time and also put more dye in and see if that worked and it did (although slowly) but the pain - I can't even describe it. However I'm so so so glad she could actually do it. She said no blockages, all the dye went through both tubes. But it was so painful, I don't know how I drove home. Now in bed with a hot water bottle having a sob. I am wondering if the pain means that maybe there weren't "blockages" but there was clearly something there. Or maybe it was the spasming just made the whole thing really painful. No one else seems to find them that bad!! Maybe I'm just a wimp!

On a good note I got a call on my way there from the hospital booking in a phone consultation with the NHS fertility clinic tomorrow! Yay! I know a few people have had these, can anyone let me know what they ask / say?