9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

@MaryTeenOfScots @Carla2601 I also catastrophise everything. I was getting CBT for
Medical Anxiety from March until around August and i try to manage this but with the ttc it’s really hard

@carla2601 and @hopefullywaiting01234 the catastrophising is horrible, isn't it? It's like my brain just has to come up with the worst possible scenario in nearly every situation, no matter how unlikely! I'm sorry to hear you struggle with it too. I've had CBT in the past as well, but I think I need a refresher on the techniques as it's been a while now.

Unfortunately a lot of houses in NZ aren't of great quality. Central heating is rare here (some houses don't have any heating except plug in heaters) and many houses don't have insulation. Not great for raising children in! There are new rules for rentals to make them healthier to live in, which will hopefully help, but a lot of landlords aren't too happy about it.

Hi ladies, sorry I am struggling to keep up - I'm enjoying reading all your updates but too many days pass before I have time to respond and then I'm lost BUT everything I've just read I'm sat here nodding and thinking yes, I feel that way too, it's so nice to see it written down.

@Carla2601 I'm so glad you got to go to a real expert and have a definite way forward - I also think that's great news. Obviously you'd like to be in a different situation but since this is where you're at, having a way forward from a known expert who feels confident in its outcome is great news. If you do start treatment in the coming months please do keep us in the loop, you will be a guru and I'm sure really helpful for us all, and we'd all be rooting for you at all stages.

We've also been investigating a bit re: costs and NHS funding etc. In my area (not sure if it's same elsewhere) if your infertility is unexplained, you have to have been trying for 3 years for access to NHS IUI/IVF, which seems very long, but it at least seems to have been relatively easy to have all the initial tests done on NHS - we haven't paid a thing yet and have had fairly quick moving bloodtests (in fact 3 times as they kept cocking up...), Hycosy, 2 SAs and 2 phone appointments (well second one is 27th Jan). Our local clinic (which takes NHS and private) offers a package (if you meet certain criteria) of one round of IVF for £2995, with added costs for freezing eggs (£600)and then about 1200 per frozen egg transfer. Also more (£1250ish) if you need ICSI which might be a possibility for us based on SA (low morphology).

We've booked a holiday for April, after which we've decided that if we're not pregnant we will pay for private IVF, as at that point we will have been trying for 18 cycles. I'd expect it wouldn't be until the summer perhaps (if I can time it to my will, July/Aug would be ideal, work wise!). Part of me feels a bit depressed working all this sort of stuff out, but a bigger part feels more hopeful and in control thinking through the options.

I've had such mood swings about tcc (and everything!) this week - some truly happy days, some real bummers. January, eh?!

Oh and cycle wise I think I have ovulated today (depending on whether temp stays up tomorrow) - our timings been good this month and I had Hycosy last month, and we've been very much on it with supplements etc for last 2 months, so my 'hope fortress' is building up. About to enter TWW, I have a shortish LP so expecting period on 25th/26th Jan ish - anyone else around there in cycle?

@MaryTeenOfScots @Carla2601 I also a catastrophiser. I like to kid myself that it's being a realist but it's just me thinking worse case scenario for everything 😂

I definitely agree with you @MaryTeenOfScots. I thought 'how bad can it be' until I moved here and saw some of the awful conditions people live in! Yes we have insulation too, and a heat pump! Bet you can't wait for your new town house 😊

@Carla2601 im so glad you have some answers!!! Although not the best answers, I'm sure most of us would give anything to actually have some answers and a plan moving forward.

@Aubyone glad you have made a plan with your partner, and the April holiday sounds lovely! I don't think the mood swings are unusual, I'm pretty sure we all feel like that on a day to day basis! I have no idea where I am in my cycle - I've been deployed for work and did over a hundred hours this week, so I haven't had time to think of anything other than that, which was actually really nice!!

No update from me other than what I just said - I was deployed for work last Sunday and have been doing 12-16 hours a day for the past week so haven't had a chance to think about anything TTC or moving, and it was such a breath of fresh air! Went for a swim at the beach yesterday and had a chat with DH and we said we'd get next weeks fertility appointment done and then stop tracking/appointments etc for the next 6 months or so. I think he's feel equally as frustrated as me. Luckily we do have time on our side as I am 29. I did say if we get to over 18 months, that's when I would want to see a specialist again and get the ball rolling. Ultimately I'm just happy to be home with my little family and spending some time together. All DTD has been purely because we've missed each other which has been lovely too.

Hope everyone else is doing okay!

@Aubyone I think I’ve ovulated today/tomorrow so I’m at the same point in my cycle. Although my period can come any day from 30-34. So I have a little longer to wait! Haha. Fingers crossed eh. Getting a few more DTD’s in today and tomorrow too just incase I ovulated later than I thought!

I tried the mooncup the other day to help with trying to conceive …. Let’s just say it did not go well and I will not be using one in the future 🤣🤣 x

Hi guys, catching up on all the news. Sad to see no BFP as yet on this thread.

I got my progesterone test back and it is 46... does that sound ok? It's bracketed as normal but just wondered if anyone else had had it done and has an insight. X

Hi @FlyOnTheWall89 I’m awaiting my blood results. Got told I would receive them when I get my scans so I will let you know my number when I get it :) take care.

@FlyOnTheWall89 is it day 21? mine was 36 and was deemed ok by my GP. Yet to see a consultant though.

Mine was 37. Apparently it needs to be over 30 on your day 21 bloods x

@FlyOnTheWall89 yeah mine was only 30.5 and they said that was normal altho i think my issue is low progesterone so I’m not convinced on that. I don’t have a 28 day cycle tho it is usually less so I may of been a day or so out

@BritInNZ I'm definitely looking forward to it 🙂

That is a lot of hours at work! I'm glad you've been able to have your mind off TTC for a bit, and have been able to get down to the beach 😊

Do you girls think it's worth starting supplements for DH? I mean I haven't spoken to him about it, but don't think he'll be opposed to it. His SA seems ok, but not sure if supplements can help given nothing is working at the minute?
I'm also getting my thyroid checked next week as suggested by my acupuncturist. No obvious symptoms, more to rule it out.

Hi Everyone

I have been reading this thread for awhile. i am in a similar situation, been TTC for 8/9 months
I just turned 34 and my AF is due tomorrow and my bbt drastically dropped this morning so i know AF will almost definitely arrive tomorrow!

I just seen you post @FlyOnTheWall89 about your acupuncturist recommending a thyroid test.

I had accupunture before Christmas and my acupuncturist recommended the same to me as she has been in a similar situation to me in her younger years and it turned out she had an under active thyroid.

Anyway i asked my gp to do blood tests - and i received my results which indicate my TSH Is 5.5 and T4 is 13.2.

My GP advised my TSH is slightly elevated and spoke to a consultant who advised they wouldn't treat and that it shouldn't stop me getting pregnant.

I decided i wasnt happy with this response after research as everything online states TSH should under 2.5 for conception/pregnancy. I ordered an advanced thyroid check on medicheck. My results showed TShH slightly lower than GP tests but that my thyroid antibodies are at the end of the scale indicating hashimoto disease.

I booked a private endo appointment (as my gp was telling me to wait a futher 3 months to check bloods again) which i had on Saturday. The endo prescribed me levothyroxine to help lower my TSH.

One of the things with under active thyroid is it effects vitamin d and b12 levels. I have been taking a vit d supplement and my results still showed i am insufficient and b12 low end if normal so looking at how i can improve these now.

I only started on levothyroxine yesterday. My under active thyroid/low vit d and b12 may not be the reason why it's taking me awhile to conceive but it very well could be - time will tell

Hopefully your results come back fine!

I am by no means an expert but i only found this out over Christmas and learnt so much as i didn't want to hang round to wait and see!

@NatW2021 thanks for that regarding thyroid and Vit D. Yes, I first cam across it in the "It starts with the egg" book that I've been reading and started to wonder if it could be, but then when my acupuncturist also brought it up, I thought it would be good to get it tested. I'm seeing a private fertility specialist in a couple of weeks time and will query with her also, depending on my results.

@FlyOnTheWall89 hopefully all cones back fine.

I am glad i got it checked and went private otherwise i would still be waiting and i feel like that's the story of my life at the moment. I feel more positive when i am taking control of the situation. My husband js having a SA analysis next week - how long do the results roughly take?

He has been taking supplements for almost 3 months and cutting back on hot baths! Im like a crazy lady trying not to be demanding/obsessive but we both need to try all we can x

@NatW2021 we have an NHS one so it's 15 days - I think private ones are quicker. I also have AMH bloods this Saturday and I get the results within 2 hours. So after that, we will be more in the know. My temp has dropped a bit today although not drastically, but predict AF tomorrow.

Yes I am with you, taking less hot baths is quite an easy thing to cut down on in the grand scheme of things - 🤞🏻 for next month.

I think my DH was told 2-3 weeks for the SA results to come back. That’s another thing with the NHS testing they just say “normal”. My letter actually said “I hope this puts your mind at ease” in relation to my day 21 bloods! I have had my thyroid and I think white blood cells checked although I have nothing to suggest I have any issues with these so wasn’t surprised they came back as normal x

@FlyOnTheWall89 - My Af due tomorrow aswell! I am not a lover if tests but i am at the stage now where i would rather no whete i stand.

@HopefulhedgehogI know - i know so frustrating!
SA being done on the NHS - it will be a long 2 weeks waiting for results.

I had my 21 day bloods done this month - it came back at 68.2 i thought this was a promising sign - also had some spotting 4dpo which i never usually get but everything pointing to AF arriving right on time tomorrow! X

@NatW2021 thanks for sharing all of that, it's really interesting. It's crazy how many things can impact fertility and also how GP's particularly seen to overlook so much. Good on you for taking matters into your own hands. How did you know where to get private help? Was it just a private fertility clinic? Fingers crossed this medicine works for you and this gets you your BFP.

How is everyone else? I'm a bit behind. I'm due AF this Saturday or Sunday, so I'm at the pointy end like you @FlyOnTheWall89 which is just the worst, it's torture isn't it? I have two hellish days ahead at work and I'm actually glad because I won't have time to think.

@kmbegs ye urgh, hate CD1.

@Tinkerbell098 hopefully it could be positive - do a test, might make it easier! I thought my 21 bloods were high ish at 46 but I've just taken a cheapie test and it's definitely negative! I am just going to shut my mind off now - now I know and I can close this cycle as it were.

The SA is a long wait - I'll be practically back in my TWW by results day.

@kmbegs no problem - i just wanted to share incase anyone else is in a similar situation or haven't had thyroid checked its worth doing. I had read lots online and read about other women going private as facing some issue with GP fobbing them off. I just googled endocrinologist in my area and a well known private health service came up and j was seen the week later. It was worth the money as i will probably only need one follow up appointment to check my levels are reducing ans i am on the correct dose after being on medication a few weeks. The consultant is writing to my gp to recommend they continue to prescribe medication. If i listened to my gps advice it would no doubt take months to get referred and then the wait to be referred to an endocrinologist on the NHS.

@kmbegs fingers crossed for you this month! We're about due a BFP considering we haven't had one since I started this thread 3 months ago! The last few days suck, so glad you have something to keep you busy.

I actually have no idea where I am in my cycle. Because of my spotting before AF I don't actually know when AF started. I thought I was due to ovulate yesterday but still haven't had a temp rise, but I think it will be sometime this weekend.

Im a bit frustrated. Had my HSG results loaded into the online system and I can see everything is all good. The bit that annoys me is they say it has a normal cavity contour, despite the same place diagnosing me with a septate uterus. So what is it? Is it normal or is it septate?! Just another question to ask next week. Our fertility doctor also emailed to say only one of us is allowed to the appointment because of COVID, which is crap. We kicked up a fuss as my husband has a SA at 8am and the appointment is at 9am, and I need to be there to talk through HSG results. Luckily they said because of SA and HSG we can both go this time.

Back to work today after the deployment, well back to the office anyway. Not too happy about it but long weekend coming up with a public holiday on Monday.

How's everyone else going?

@BritInNZ just a question - since your HSG have you had any different ovulation symptoms? For example I’m ovulating around about now I think and I’m getting period type aches in my lower abdomen. Like a period is going to start! I definitely don’t usually feel this sensation at this time in my cycle! I’m just wondering if it’s anything to do with the HSG a few weeks ago! X

@LucyAnne34 I'm actually the opposite, haven't had any symptoms of ovulation. But this might be because I haven't ovulated yet, as my cycles are a bit messed up post-vaccine still!