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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

18, really nervous here

170 replies

tonijane17 · 09/08/2021 13:45

Hi there.. I'm 18 and have been with my boyfriend for a few months... We had unprotected sex (please don't say anything unkind because it won't help me) on day 19 of my usual 30 day cycle (I use an app to track this)... I'm due on my period in 10 days and am wondering if any of you have any advice as to whether I could be pregnant and if anyone has anything that could prevent pregnancy that isn't the morning after... Please 🙏

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 23/08/2021 11:55

No, I read that she was looking at an apartment or had looked which suggests to me she’d got her accommodation sorted. Which is very surprising if it is a council property.

Original poster
tonijane17 · 23/08/2021 11:55

We have a viewing of a flat this evening that's pretty close to both our parents. It's private but we'll see if it's spacious enough before making any decisions. @kirinm

OP posts:
FTEngineerM · 23/08/2021 12:14

@ineedaholidaynow if you are so incredibly concerned that this will all end in tears it’s probably more useful to make this a safe space for someone to come for advice given in a kind way.

itsme1978 · 23/08/2021 14:19

I thought you weren't replying?!

Original poster
tonijane17 · 23/08/2021 14:46

@itsme1978 that was the plan but after seeing the shitty and bitchy things people were saying I couldn't ignore it.

OP posts:
toadstool32 · 23/08/2021 15:11

@tonijane17 why don't you hold fire with the flat until you know the pregnancy is viable?

Original poster
tonijane17 · 23/08/2021 16:00

@toadstool32 Because we already had this viewing arranged and the whole situation agreed before I found out I was pregnant. It's happening whether my pregnancy is viable or not.

OP posts:
furbabymama87 · 23/08/2021 16:45

It's more the living situation that would bother me more I think. I've been a single mum ,no problem, but wouldn't want to live with and rely on someone financially who I had only known 2 months. I hope things do go well for you though and you're happy. You may not be in the best situation but sometimes things just work out, despite everything.

itsme1978 · 23/08/2021 17:26

I know you're trying to keep up with all the shit comments but don't bother.....it's not worth it

EmmaOvary · 24/08/2021 10:03

Once upon a time it was the norm and not the exception to have babies this young. Look back at your own family tree and you probably don't have to go back too far to find a woman who started her family at 18 or younger. Am shocked at a lot of these horrible comments directed at the OP.
She is happy to be pregnant and I wish her the very best. There really is no need to say anything else.

Urghhhhh · 24/08/2021 11:52

@EmmaOvary

Once upon a time it was the norm and not the exception to have babies this young. Look back at your own family tree and you probably don't have to go back too far to find a woman who started her family at 18 or younger. Am shocked at a lot of these horrible comments directed at the OP. She is happy to be pregnant and I wish her the very best. There really is no need to say anything else.
You mean once upon a time when women had no hope to make anything of themselves other than be housewifes and mothers? When men provided and women were dependent on their whims? Don't be obtuse. At 18 you've been an "adult" for one hot minute. You have no idea who you really are. No way you're established in a career or financially stable enough for a kid. Your brain isn't fully developed until mid 20s, for fuck's sake (especially complex reasoning and decision making). Just because your body is ready for childbearing at 18 it doesn't mean it's a good idea.
ineedaholidaynow · 24/08/2021 12:10

My MIL was discouraged from doing well in the 11+ by her parents because she didn’t need a career and was just going to get married and have babies. She left school at 15 with no qualifications and went to work in a shop. Married at 19, first baby at 20. Gave up work after having a baby. I would rather we didn’t go back to those days where girls were written off so young.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 24/08/2021 12:15

Thank Christ most of us have choices NOT to live in ‘once upon a time’ anymore.

Sure I can look back at my family tree and see lots of women having babies young- and feel sad for them that that was pretty much their only option in society.

Original poster
tonijane17 · 24/08/2021 12:45
Sad
OP posts:
RampantIvy · 24/08/2021 13:08

I think posters are concerned that moving in with someone you have only known for 7 months and have only been dating for a few weeks isn't a great idea. This applies whether you are 18, 38 or 58. It just feels a bit rushed.

daisyjgrey · 24/08/2021 13:13

Some of the responses on here are so shit. She's not asking for advice on a situation in the future, it's the situation she's living right now and people being unpleasant about it aren't helping at all.

I did what I was 'supposed' to do, I met someone, dated, married them after four years, had a baby once we were married and I was still a single parent to a three year old. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't and I'm not convinced on whether making the 'right' choices have any bearing on it.

Urghhhhh · 24/08/2021 13:22

@daisyjgrey

Some of the responses on here are so shit. She's not asking for advice on a situation in the future, it's the situation she's living right now and people being unpleasant about it aren't helping at all.

I did what I was 'supposed' to do, I met someone, dated, married them after four years, had a baby once we were married and I was still a single parent to a three year old. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't and I'm not convinced on whether making the 'right' choices have any bearing on it.

You could still die in a car accident even if you wear your seatbelt. Doesn't mean you don't wear a seatbelt because 'oh well...'. You could always be the exception to the statistic, but why would you count on that and not take any precautions?
laahs · 24/08/2021 13:25

Hi OP. I am 19 and have a 10 month old, he is the best thing to ever happen to me truly. You are clearly immature at the moment which is fine because you're only 18. Be prepared for the reality check you will have when baby gets here. I'm not trying to put you down but you really don't know what hard work is until it hits you all at once after birth. To be honest the whole situation sounds very childish and the father could leave at any point, babies cause arguments. Good luck.

Original poster
tonijane17 · 24/08/2021 13:28

Can't be arsed with this thread anymore, it's an absolute pisstake so I'm just removing it from my list. Thank you all for absolutely nothing.

OP posts:
bbgxd · 24/08/2021 16:43

You mean once upon a time when women had no hope to make anything of themselves other than be housewifes and mothers? When men provided and women were dependent on their whims? Don't be obtuse. At 18 you've been an "adult" for one hot minute. You have no idea who you really are. No way you're established in a career or financially stable enough for a kid. Your brain isn't fully developed until mid 20s, for fuck's sake (especially complex reasoning and decision making). Just because your body is ready for childbearing at 18 it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

You can establish a career whilst having a child. Nobody's business other than the mother's.

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