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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

18, really nervous here

170 replies

tonijane17 · 09/08/2021 13:45

Hi there.. I'm 18 and have been with my boyfriend for a few months... We had unprotected sex (please don't say anything unkind because it won't help me) on day 19 of my usual 30 day cycle (I use an app to track this)... I'm due on my period in 10 days and am wondering if any of you have any advice as to whether I could be pregnant and if anyone has anything that could prevent pregnancy that isn't the morning after... Please 🙏

OP posts:
monkeyy97 · 22/08/2021 18:50

@tonijane17

Congratulations!!! 😘
I wish you all the best for the next 9 months ❤️

imagen · 22/08/2021 18:51

As much as OP's situation is undesirable and there are questions over the pregnancy (ie how unplanned it really was, the relationship etc. ), I do think a lot of people are bitter because of their own circumstances and passing it off as being real or whatever

Tistheseason17 · 22/08/2021 19:20

The reality is that it is the exception, not the norm, for a successful relationship to be grounded by the girlfriend of 5 weeks getting pregnant and wanting to not be pregnant, but without taking MAP, and following miscarriage with a different partner in the last 12 months.
It does happen, so let's hope for baby's sake this is the exception.

ineedaholidaynow · 22/08/2021 19:37

If my 20yo son told me that his 18yo girlfriend of 2 months just wanted a baby and for them to move in together and she wasn’t using contraception , I would be telling him to put a condom on it (and possibly run for the hills!) And I cant imagine many other parents wouldn’t do the same. I wouldn’t be saying to him, go ahead son every baby is a blessing.

Obviously, if it was too late and the deed was done I would be telling him he had to step up and take responsibility.

Gabby82 · 22/08/2021 20:04

@SpaceBethSmith

Imagine this on AIBU

My 18YO is pregnant - she’s been with the father for 2 month.

The replies would be very different.

You're probably right but AIBU is a forum specifically asking for judgement and opinions. This thread isn't doing that at all, OP was asking for some specific advice, not a character assassination.

Ideal or not, she's pregnant and focusing on the positives. Dwelling on what she should or shouldn't have done in the past won't change current situation.

badg3r · 22/08/2021 20:43

I know a couple who got pregnant this soon after meeting. Their second is due in November 😍 Good luck OP. These are exciting times and how wonderful to have such supportive family behind you both.

Ridethewaves · 22/08/2021 21:08

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope the next 8 months go really smoothly for you. Its lovely to hear that your partner and families are supportive.

I found becoming a mum hugely challenging, but having the support of kind people who I trust has made a huge difference. You know the phrase 'it takes a village to raise a baby', it's so true, regardless of your age and personal circumstances.
Best wishes and lots of luck to you Smile

kirinm · 22/08/2021 21:34

@SpaceBethSmith

It’s because you’re a teenager and because you’re reacting badly to the very real and good advice you’re being given.
What is good about being told you'll probably be a single parent? Who the hell are people on here to say that to someone they don't know. And even if she is / becomes a single parent, what business is it if you or anyone else?
SpaceBethSmith · 22/08/2021 23:01

Is this people’s first time on the internet?

SpaceBethSmith · 22/08/2021 23:03

Not to mention the photos of the pregnancy tests with lighters and cigarette rolling papers, which someone called her out on, and she said it was irrelevant if she smokes or not.

fallingup · 22/08/2021 23:42

😭😭😭 and here's me TTC for 2 years!

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 07:13

It looks like those posts have been deleted @SpaceBethSmith.

Gabby82 · 23/08/2021 07:20

@SpaceBethSmith but what's the purpose of all the criticism? Make OP realise that you're right she's a terrible person? Make her terminate the pregnancy as she doesn't deserve it? Or in fact let everyone know how perfect you are, that you would never make or condone, such terrible choices?

toadstool32 · 23/08/2021 07:24

@tonijane17 congratulations and if it's truly what you want, I hope it all works out. Not to be a complete pessimist however, but you can only be around 4 weeks pregnant? Sadly 25% of pregnancies end in a mc as I'm afraid you (and I) have experienced and you're still very much in unknown waters being so early on. Wait until you hit 12 weeks before making grand living arrangements. Take one day at a time.

RampantIvy · 23/08/2021 07:39

Wait until you hit 12 weeks before making grand living arrangements. Take one day at a time.

This ^^ is sensible advice. Please don't rush into any huge financial commitments just yet.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 23/08/2021 07:50

Hang on, you’re 18 and you’re rushing into a tenancy now? Why on earth wouldn’t you wait? From a financial point of view you can save cash beforehand by living at home. You’ve been pregnant about five minutes. I’m sorry but it’s not a given that everything will work out how you picture it.

But that’s not how you’ve mapped it all out is it, you obviously can’t wait to play house.

You’re going to need a lot of luck.

GreenTortoise · 23/08/2021 07:54

Congratulations on your news.

The thing you made a mistake on was saying your age. Some MN's get their pitch forks out for young people especially pregnant ones.

They'd much rather have a 30+ something have a one night stand and get pregnant and have all the sympathy in the world.

Of course, a selective few but they always show up and shout abuse at people. Wouldn't imagine they'd be so brave in person though.

They're mainly keyboard warriors so just ignore them.

GreenTortoise · 23/08/2021 07:55

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Hang on, you’re 18 and you’re rushing into a tenancy now? Why on earth wouldn’t you wait? From a financial point of view you can save cash beforehand by living at home. You’ve been pregnant about five minutes. I’m sorry but it’s not a given that everything will work out how you picture it.

But that’s not how you’ve mapped it all out is it, you obviously can’t wait to play house.

You’re going to need a lot of luck.

Stop being so bloody horrible.

Why would you say 'it might not all work out' to someone who is expecting.

Ugh, you disgusting person.

GreenTortoise · 23/08/2021 07:57

@fallingup

😭😭😭 and here's me TTC for 2 years!
Oh have a word.

Post likes this annoy me so much.

I'm sorry you're struggling to conceive but just because OP got pregnant straight away at 18 is not a reason for you to make sly remarks.

It is in no way her fault that you're struggling. And it really really isn't fair for you to make such comments.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 23/08/2021 07:57

@GreenTortoise because it’s very early on.

I have experience of that. So does the OP. It would be prudent to wait a bit longer before drastically changing her living circumstances. That’s not ‘disgusting’, it is factual and sensible.

Gabby82 · 23/08/2021 08:21

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@GreenTortoise because it’s very early on.

I have experience of that. So does the OP. It would be prudent to wait a bit longer before drastically changing her living circumstances. That’s not ‘disgusting’, it is factual and sensible.[/quote]
Your choice of language comes across as judgemental rather than helpful.

@toadstool32 articulated the same valid advice in a much less aggressive way.

fallingup · 23/08/2021 08:24

@GreenTortoise a sly remark? It's not. I'm having a moment 🤣 it's a free thread and I can comment on it as I wish thanks!

Candycotton · 23/08/2021 08:40

I agree with a poster up above, the people who are writing diggy comments smack of she doesnt deserve to be pregnant so quickly and easily, shes only 18, shes a smoker, shes only been with her boyfriend 2 months. OP has experienced a miscarriage though so it's not as if she is completely without her shit luck.

my mum fell pregnant with me at 20 via a one night stand, thank goodness the internet wasnt around then because I imagine she would of either ended up feeling like she should be considering an abortion or very depressed reading some of these comments.

FatAnkles · 23/08/2021 08:49

Such judgy horrible remarks. Angry

ineedaholidaynow · 23/08/2021 08:57

@Candycotton many women who find themselves pregnant after ONS have an abortion, they don’t need the internet to help with that decision.

But I assume your mum didn’t move in immediately with the ONS.

The age has come up on this thread as it appears the OP has been wanting to have a baby since 17 and doesn’t use contraception for that purpose. She is planning to have a baby with someone she has never lived with but is now planning to make a financial commitment (a tenancy) with someone she has been seeing for 2 months. I assume she doesn’t work as is hoping to study HNC, so she could be tied to a tenancy with no income if the relationship doesn’t work out. People are just advising her to be careful as this may not be the fairytale she thinks it is.

In the same way many people on here advise mums who are not married to their partners to not become long term SAHM, unless they are financially independent by other means. It’s not because posters are hoping their relationship fails, but because if their relationship does fail it is too late for that advice and they could be financially screwed.

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