Bus 5-ttc for what feels like an eternity, so well and truly in the donkey club. No judgement here, just well wishes and advice on endo/ivf/MFI etc.

[becarefuloutthere]

Our regular riders on the donkey train 🚂
@Annny27 29, no1 since June 19
@RobinRose 27, no1 since Oct 2019
@Motherofkittens28 39 no 1 since aug19
@Yutes 34 no1 since aug19
@Crazydoglady123 32 pregnant 🥳
@Marvellouslymadmum 42 no3 since April 18
@Tofu35 35 no1 since sep19
@Hayley19835 38 no1 oct18
@Narwhal88 32, no1 since jun19
@Theawkwardblonde pregnant 🥳
@CreativeThinkerTequilaDrinker 15 months ttc ivf in June, ov 8th April
@2020mission pregnant 🥳
@Sjhigs 37 no1 since sep18 ivf consult mid April
@crazycatlady1981 39 no1 since Oct18, ivf in May
@PeanutButterBrownies
@Juno231 33 no1 since jan20
@clolo 31 no1 since jun19
@Aimzie 28 no1 4 years NTNP 22 months ttc
@VenusStarr 37 no 1 since nov17 ivf started in May!
@paintfairy ttc no 1
@polejunkie
@MIW0

@MIW01 I don’t think I’ll get the nhs round because I think it’ll take too long tbh. With my age being a factor I’m too anxious to do this hopeless waiting for another six months or more, I just want to get going. They may not even offer us anything if they think I just need clomid or whatever, not sure.

Funding approval for a relatively cheap blood test makes me laugh. I also was fairly unimpressed with ISWTE. Didn’t learn much from it really, and I’ll carry on taking the supplements I’m on but I’m not sure if it will help. Quality is an issue I’m concerned by with my higher AMH.

I know one of the things Mr Ramsay often does is try men on antibiotics to see if it helps, that might be worth a go if there’s no varicocele? Will see what he says when we see him in a few weeks. I suppose surgical sperm retrieval is also an option? It’s all so expensive and makes my eyes water.

I’m not sure how much the lifestyle changes make a difference really, at least not for everyone, but my husband doesn’t have a bad lifestyle anyway. Only bad thing was he was doing night shifts but he’s started his new job today and fingers crossed never has to work nights again.

It’s so hard and I don’t think my husband is very good at opening up. I lost it last night in a big way. I’m just so devasted by all this, and how hard it is.

I now have 2 embabies on board and am chilling with a hot chocolate and a biscuit, in my fluffy socks

@thislittlebird sorry to hear what a rough time you're going through! Does your Dh new job still require you to relocate?
@Sunbird24 congrats on being PUPO 🎉 when's your otd?

Oh, ‘winner takes it all’ was the last song on the radio this time. Don’t know if that’s good?
OTD the 19th but no way I’ll hold out that long. My apps have af due either 17th or 20th (timings got thrown off by covid jab)

Just wanted to say hi and I hope everyone is doing ok! I'm trying out not researching, reading too much fertility wise or listening to fertility podcasts to see if I maintain my sanity a bit more in my two week wait this time around 12dpo today so fingers crossed. Really keen to check in and see how you all are in a few days ☺️

@becarefuloutthere any tips for us all 😂
Did you feel anything different in 2ww

@becarefuloutthere we want to relocate to Cornwall eventually (especially if we can have the mythical child) because we have family there. But we’re stuck here right now because of ivf. Anyway, a job came up down there in what he does, which is quite rare, and he went for it because we decided it was worth giving it a go.

In an ideal world I’d be pregnant already and he could go live there with family and then I’d follow once the house was sold and new one was bought. But instead we’re stuck in limbo and if he gets it I’m scared of what happens. I guess I’ll have to look to moving down as well, baby or no baby. But that wasn’t our plan.

The fear is me being stuck here alone long term, just doing ivf over and over and not having him here.

Congratulations @Sunbird24 🤞 for you.

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry to hear it's so tough. Age was the reason we had to change CCG as previous 1 was 35. antibiotics were mentioned by GP at his appointment. OH is getting a BUPA referral to Dr Crow in Birmingham. He will get US on Wednesday

@Sunbird24 good tune to have playing! Go for the 17th, I did two days before otd.
@CycleGirl20 good luck for that bfp!! 🤞🏾
@Sjhigs no tips apart from what you all already know. Pom juice, nuts etc. I got cramps the day after transfer for about a week and then they stopped and it felt more like I was coming on towards the end of the tww, emotional, intense period pain etc but then I didn't!
@thislittlebird yeah I remember you saying that could be an issue. If you're going private first could you not find a clinic down there?

@becarefuloutthere there’s really not many down there, but if I plan to change to Create if the first two rounds don’t work then there is a Create at Bristol.

I just wish we could look ahead now, not a year from now (if that). I want my future to look forward to, not just this miserable nightmare.

@MIW01 age is terrifying to me tbh. I just can’t understand how they don’t seem more worried about people who are already pushing 40. It feels very harsh.

Let me know how the Birmingham appointment goes! I am waiting for a response to my emails.

@thislittlebird ok, good to have at least one option then. I know exactly what you mean, a crystal ball would be fab wouldn't it! So much luck to you hun 🍀

@thislittlebird I really empathise with you about just getting on with the future! We were playing to have 2 babies by now and be living as a family of 4 and I still can't quite get my head around all this tbh. Our entire family is a result of accidents! It is very unfortunate and I think we are both grieving. If our 2 NHS rounds are unsuccessful then we will do a private round if there's issues with our eggs and sperm and no real chance of resolution the we will do with donor eggs and sperm. I think we've got to a point where we've accepted this may happen now.

@becarefuloutthere ibe had zilch so far 🙈

Thankfully the cat is ok, just a muscle sprain/strain! 😅 Had the call to say that we’ve got an embryo in the freezer! I can’t quite believe it!! 😀

@Sunbird24 yay for your transfer going well! 😊 fingers crossed for you! 🤞🏻 We’ll all be testing around the same time!

@CycleGirl20 good luck!! Are you planning to test or just wait it out for a bit?

@Annny27 hope the progesterone testing goes ok!

@crazycatlady1981 fab news that you’ve got a frosty, and hooray for crazycat not having done anything expensive serious!

@Sjhigs not everyone has symptoms remember, we're all different so it's just about being patient at the mo which is incredibly hard when you want to know so badly! Plus I think my cramping was down to the pessaries over anything else.
@MIW01 best of luck with the nhs round! Are you getting genetic testing done on the embryos before transfer?
@crazycatlady1981 excellent news all round then! 🎉

@thislittlebird I really sympathise about how it impacts your future and plans. 16months in for me. I didn't change jobs when I knew we were going to start trying in the next year or so. Now it's been 16 months and then there'll be 9 months of pregnancy (fingers crossed) then 9 months mat leave. Then the year I have to do not to pay back the mat leave. Then maybe a second. I don't think I'll ever be able to get a new job 😅.

@crazycatlady1981 I took a cheapie earlier. It was negative but I didn't hold my pee very long.

Thanks ladies - blood test done ans hopefully results come back soon!

@becarefuloutthere not long now untill your scan!! Can DH go with you?

@crazycatlady1981 yayyy exciting to have a Frostie sibling hopefully!

@thislittlebird sucks waiting doesnt it! And yep I kinda want to change jobs but wouldnt dare as my maternity package is very good! But I should have in hindsight switched last year when I had the same thoughts as I would have been there long enough by now for new maternity 😂😂

@Annny27 best of luck 🤞🏾
Yeah he can, he has to show a negative Covid test on arrival!
@CycleGirl20 will you test again tomorrow do you think?

@becarefuloutthere yeah probably. Although I feel like AF is coming. I have cramps now 😒

@MIW01 I have a work colleague who used donor eggs and I had no idea until we spoke about ivf fairly recently. She has twins, and it really made me more open to it all. It’s not my first choice but I wouldn’t rule it out at this stage. My sisters (a decade older than me) have so many kids, and my nieces do too now. It’s devastating that I’m the only one who can’t have any, and I’m in a good position to do so. We probably waited too long, I kick myself every day.

@CycleGirl20 @Annny27 it’s two years for us in October, with a few months off due to sickness, and it’s breaking me tbh. I just want to move jobs, move areas, move home, have a family, and I’m stuck in this hamster wheel. I could have applied for a job where I work this week that’s higher pay etc (and I’ve been waiting for such a role for some time), but I just don’t have the mental energy. Bad timing, I can’t focus or think about other things right now. A week from now, two weeks, maybe, but I feel incredibly drained. I’m also staying put because of the maternity package, but it is a large employer so eventually other jobs will come along. Or maybe I’ll just leave and sack off the maternity leave so I don’t have to go back lol.

@thislittlebird it does sound like you've had a pretty long run. It does really grind at your emotional strength doesn't it. I'm trying CBT and the therapist is helping a bit but she did say that I'm doing reasonably given the situation so there's not endless amounts that can be done. I've said to my OH we should get IVF come October if we're still trying. Maybe we can go abroad. It sounds like you're making plans on that front. Did you look at Access?

@thislittlebird don't do that to yourself, there is no way you could have known, I was 32 when we first started TTC journey but there is no way we were ready before then, I look back and realise that we did the right thing as I definitely would have wanted to start a family where we were living before, and tbh, even if we did start earlier there's no guarantees that the outcome would have been different! Especially when it's male factor issues like we have.

Negative frer 13dpo so that's probably a nope this month 🙁

Apparently Denmark is good for IVF and not so expensive. Has anyone heard of that? Apparently 10% of Danish babies are born through ivf