Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

[fingerscrossed91]

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this post is negative but I'm so so fed up with TTC. We have been trying for 12 months and haven't even had a hint of a line. My three best girlfriends (and soon to be bridesmaids) have all announced they are preggers this past month. Whilst I'm genuinely ecstatic for them I'm hurting so much as I don't believe it will ever happen for me.

I had to take a few days off work at the start of the week when the third told me they were preggers as I was just so overwhelmed and upset. A few days eating rubbish and watching Netflix made me feel a bit better but I have just lost hope that I will ever see a second pink line let alone have a baby.

I'm currently 6DPO and even though I know I won't be pregnant I'm still working myself up about it. I (stupidly) did a test today which was obv a BFN but it's like I can't help myself. It like a weird form of self torture!

I'd be so keen to talk to any hopeful mummas in a similar boat - let's keep everyone sain!

xxx

@User1400 thank you ♥️🤞🏻 Cloud nine? More like petrified haha, he’ll wonder if I’ve seen a ghost.

Happy Monday girls! Hope everyone has a good start to the week xxx

Morning everyone!

@User1400 All good here thank you ☺️ how are you doing?

Hope everyone’s Monday isn’t too bad x.

@AZ1992X that hard work will be worth it. All that time off at Christmas will be magical 🥰

Oooo Italy?! So romantic! I’ve never been but it’s on my list too. I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time.

@Amy259 OH MY GOODNESS!!! Look at that digital!! You almost got me crying 😭 that’s amazing news! You must be so happy 🥰😍😍

Hey @User1400 trying to keep busy and sort my life out. Work is depressing me 😂 but I keep reminding myself, I’m lucky to have a job and income! 😁

I’m back on the OPK’s now, due to ovulate weds so we will see. What happens this cycle. How are you?

How’s everyone else’s Monday looking? 😁✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow Yes, defo looking forward to that time off. It also gives me plenty of time to prep for Christmas Day 😂.

Thank you, we’re both really looking forward to a holiday abroad (we’re debating if to hire a car) so we can try and see more of Italy whilst we’re there.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you this cycle 🤞

@HopefulGlow thank you. Still quite terrified if I’m honest, hoping I’ll feel better once I miss my period.

How’s your fw going? Any sign of OPKs darkening yet?

@AZ1992X where in Italy are you heading? We’ve been a couple of times and were supposed to be at a wedding in Tuscany last month that we were turning into a driving holiday but obviously it was cancelled and the wedding was in Edinburgh instead! Xx

@AZ1992X it really does! Haha you will be well and truly sorted for Christmas 😁 I love the build up to Christmas so it’s even better you get to have the time off to enjoy too!!

Ooo yes driving around sounds amazing! You could find some beautiful places, even some delicious family run restaurants 😍

Thank you! Same to you too ✨🤞🏼✨

@Amy259 I know it must be so scary but try not to be too scared. Try and enjoy this time if you can. Maybe try some mindful meditation or gentle pregnancy yoga? I try to do meditation but I end up thinking of food 😂

Only one more day until you tell you OH 💕💕 I bet you’re so excited! Has he suspected anything else yet? ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow haha I’ve got acupuncture tonight but I’m quite nervous about it. I’m just a ball of nerves tbh, it’s not very pleasant!

He’s having the worst time at work just now, and has this interview on Thursday, so he’s super stressed. I almost told him yesterday to give him some happiness but I think I’d rather tell him when all the stress is over, in case this adds to it 😂

Plus af due tomorrow/Thursday so want to get by that too.

Also I’m so aware that you guys might not want me to still be hanging around here at the moment, so please just say if you’d rather I duck out xxx

@Amy259 We’re off to Milan, I’ve briefly looked into it but I think Florence is also only a few hours drive away so could maybe do a day trip there too. Have you been to either of them?

I think once you get pass when AF would be due you’ll feel a little bit better 🤞 , I bet he’ll be super excited.

You are always welcome here ❤️ , don’t feel you need to leave. We’ve come a long way together already and would love to keep hearing how your getting on. Xx

@HopefulGlow I’m the same - the build up to Christmas is my favourite 🎄⛄️ Just end up watching Christmas movies & might do some baking too. I’m getting way to excited and it’s still October 😂😂 xx

@Amy259 please don’t think that!! We don’t want you leaving, you’re part of our little group and we are all over the moon you have your BFP! You know the journey we are all on and you appreciate those two lines just like we all would. Hearing about your BFP gives me hope and I’m sure it does the other ladies too 🥰

I understand you must be feeling so nervous! But deep breathes and keep focus 🥰 don’t forget to tell your acupuncturist too!! I’m sure they will be so happy for you 😁 how many sessions have you had now?

That sounds like a good idea, wait until he has this promotion out the way and you can celebrate everything together 💕

@AZ1992X I’m the same!! My OH has kindly requested I leave Christmas discussions until the end of November 😂 so I’ve been talking to anyone else about it, who will listen haha

My mum just text me saying my grandma is clearing her sewing cupboard out and it’s full of Christmas fabric! So naturally I’ve been on Pinterest getting some crafty ideas.

I already have my table set up sorted, I just need to make the napkins, placemats and table settings 😂 IM SO EXCITED!

I just love this time of the year, it gets all cosy and I love it!

I also have a Christmas movie list if you ever need some inspiration 😂 there are 64 on there 😂😂 categorised into movies, netflix and hallmark too!!….oh gosh I’m so sad! 🤦🏼‍♀️ ✨💕✨

@AZ1992X thank you ♥️ feels a bit lonely just now haha so it’s nice to have this familiar little safe space.

Ahh how amazing! Sadly not, Milan and Florence were on our list for the holiday this year that we didn’t get to go on. There’s a lovely coastal drive that way, the west coast I believe! Going from Milan down, it’s supposed to be amazing.

I absolutely love your Christmas vibe - I’m here for the nights wrapping presents next to the tree, Harry Potter on, cosy fire… 😍😍 xxx

@HopefulGlow thank you ♥️♥️ Praying this little one sticks and then you all get your bfps and we can continue on together haha.

I’ve been going to acupuncture for months now, I can’t remember how long. Haven’t been in a few weeks though as I was on holiday then she’s been on holiday. I last saw her just after the HyCoSy and when I told her about the mucus plug they flushed out of my right tube, she said she bets it happens this cycle. Apparently you ovulated from your right side more (I thought it swapped every other month but apparently not) and my right ovary had way more follicles than my left, so was obviously the dominant one. Of course I laughed it off because I’ve heard it all before, but here we are..

Oh I am LOVING all the Christmas chat!! I also love how crafty you are, that’s amazing. I wish I was more crafty - I draw occasionally, but I’m rubbishing at making things! Xxx

@HopefulGlow he sounds like mine, he just thinks I’m Christmas obsessed but isn’t wrong 😂😂

Oo that’s exciting about all the table stuff being sorted and very organised, I really need to get onto that soon! I’m thinking silver colours.

Haha! I love that - I defo want to see the movie list 😂😂 do you have any favourites?

@Amy259 Glad you feel this is your safe place ❤️, I don’t know where I would be without all the support on here.

That’s a shame you couldn’t go this year, I’ll defo have a look into that costal drive and do some research, cannot wait!

Xx

Hi ladies,

I hope you’re all good! Sorry for butting into this thread, but I’m feeling all anxious and annoyed at the whole journey today.

I’ve been ttc 1st baby for about 15 months now. Had all the tests and everything seems to be ok part from slight PCOS. I’ve had 3 rounds of femera and a chemical last month (September) but this month had a break.

I’m 9dpo today (I think) have had weird twinges in my left ovaryabit like a stitch for about 2 days now. My nipples also hurt but i know im symptom spotting even though I promised myself I wouldn’t!
I’ve also had acupuncture weekly for the past 6 weeks which is lovely (expensive) but good- they’ve not given me any herbs though.

@Amy259 Congrats!!! 🥰 may I ask how long you were trying for?

Fingers crossed for us all! Xxx

Hi @Mouseyel we’ve been trying for 15 months too, with a chemical back in sept 2020 then nothing until now.

I get acupuncture too, and no herbs here. But mine isn’t traditional Chinese, she’s a western/ivf/fertility specialist so doesn’t do herbs 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had a private hycosy in September where the dr saw my right tube was dilated and blocking the dye from over flowing, so she pushed more dye through (agony) and it eventually spilled over. She was a bit rubbish afterwards about the explanation, but since talking to other doctors it seems that it could have been a mucus blockage that she dislodged with the dye. This next cycle I’ve got my bfp, and I’m praying it sticks and isn’t ectopic (I’m very worried about everything and anything), but I can only guess the blockage was a big problem. It was on my dominant side too, so the side I likely ovulate most from, but sperm and egg couldn’t meet. Have you had your referral for a hycosy yet?

The only other things I did different were that we dtd every 36 hrs (instead of every other day) and I humoured myself by eating pineapple core every day after ovulation - I’m so sure it’s rubbish, but coincidentally another girl here conceived the month she tried it so I went for it 😂 but I’m guessing it’s the HyCoSy that made the difference.

I hope that helps a bit and fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻 Xxx

Amy259 I’m hoping this little one sticks too 💕 I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but know you’re always welcome here. Don’t ever feel like you can’t talk with us.

Hopefully we will be right behind you with our BFP’s.

Wow! So crazy they managed to flush it too, I’m sure that helped!! I bet you can’t wait to tell her.

Ohhhh really? I wish I could draw! I do love making things, I always have. I like being creative but I hate it when I don’t do it right first time 😂

@AZ1992X haha we are very obsessed but there are worse things to be obsessed about 😂

I will see if I can attach my list here. Now there has been a large debate as to whether Die Hard is a Christmas film. Personally I say no, simply because I doubt feel warm and fuzzy afterwards. 😂

Home alone or Christmas Carol is one of my favourites 💕 what about you?

@Mouseyel it’s okay we are all going through this together 🥰 so sorry you’re struggling too. It’s so frustrating symptom spotting isn’t it 😩 that’s good news about all your tests being clear though, did they say what the next steps were. I have two lots of herbal supplements from the acupuncturist. I will find out what they’re called.

✨💕✨

I had to screen shot my list haha 😂 I’m so sad!!!

@HopefulGlow I agree with you I don’t think you can call that a Christmas film at all - defo wouldn’t make me feel festive at all. Your list is amazing, I’ve never even heard of some of them!! Ones to add to the list.

Oo good films - I really struggle I love them all 😂 but some of my top picks are The holiday, Love actually, Arthur Christmas & Polar express.

How early is acceptable to start watching them? 🙈

@Mouseyel I’m so sorry you’re struggling ❤️ You’ve defo joined a supportive little group here though so if you have any questions or just want someone to listen then we’re here for you!

@Amy259 I honestly couldn't believe it when I came on just now to catch up on the chat and see your BFP! Congratulations, that's what I came to this forum for, to get some hope that this will eventually happen so don't feel any guilt over your good news!

How is everyone else doing?

@AZ1992X that's exciting you are going to Italy. We have just booked Sorrento for April but would love to do Florence, Milan and some of the lakes at some point in the future!

General question for everyone - do you tend to use Mumsnet on browser or the app? I only just discovered there was an app but I can't seem to tag people when I type a message so I am just checking on my laptop which is infrequent.

@HopefulGlow she made it feel so real because she was talking me through what I can and can’t eat etc - it was so weird. But I’ve got some cramps tonight which I’m told is normal but it’s worrying me, I would rather some sickness please.

I only really draw pets haha, mainly dogs, with a cat or a horse here and there. Nothing too impressive, not like being generally crafty!

I’ll be saving that Christmas movie list 😂😂 @AZ1992X I’m ready now!! It can’t be that long until Christmas.. we’re actually probably behind! 😂

@LA9610 thank you ♥️
I use it in the browser but on my phone, not laptop xx

@LA9610 Sorrento sounds amazing, that will be lovely! I use the browser on my phone also.

@Amy259 cramping is normal so try not to worry too much, easier said than done I imagine ❤️

Haha I’ve saved the list too and was thinking I might watch one this weekend - I just want a really relaxed weekend of watching films & maybe some online shopping. If I start now maybe I’ll get through a lot by Christmas 😂😂

@AZ1992X I’m glad you appreciate my list 😂 I would like to say we can start watching them now?! Haha I’m going to start mid November I think. I will just have to do it in secret haha I think we deserve a nice long festive feeling 🎄🎅🏼

I love those festive films too! When will you start watching them? 😁

@LA9610 hi!! I found the app useless! I couldn’t tag or see what I was replying to once I started! So frustrating. How are you doing?

@Amy259 ohhhhh I’m so glad she made it feel more real 🥰 yes I’ve read lots of people get cramps, sometimes quite often. I completely understand your worry though! OH MY GOODNESS, I’ve just realised, you will most likely be announcing around Christmas 😭 adorable!!

Drawing anything is talented and let’s just make it even better 😂

I’m glad you like the list too, but some of them are awful but so cheesy 😂 I love it.

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Thanks @AZ1992X I’m just a ball of anxiety 😂

@HopefulGlow thank you! I’m not 100% sure we will announce like online etc, but if all goes to plan I’ll definitely be telling our immediate family via Christmas cards.

Maybe I’ll watch one this weekend too… a cosy day on the sofa with some cheesy movies would be a dream! Xx

@Amy259 a cosy weekend sounds perfect! In your favourite pj’s and a big tub of icecream 😍

Awwww Christmas cards seems like a lovely way to announce ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow I think I will watch one this weekend whilst doing some online Christmas shopping 🎄⛄️ Just need to decide which one 🤷‍♀️

@Amy259 how are you feeling today? Xx.

@HopefulGlow @AZ1992X I started my Christmas shopping list on my phone yesterday for husband, our parents etc. You pair got me right in the mood! Along with realising there are only two pay days left 😂

AZ I feel better thank you, got my darkest line yet this morning (obviously take a progression photo every day to compare 🙈) so I’m hoping all the cramping was just it burrowing in. Lines are much darker than the chemical now, so much so, but still so scared. Have in my head that I need to get to 8 weeks then I’m hoping I’ll calm down…