Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

[fingerscrossed91]

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this post is negative but I'm so so fed up with TTC. We have been trying for 12 months and haven't even had a hint of a line. My three best girlfriends (and soon to be bridesmaids) have all announced they are preggers this past month. Whilst I'm genuinely ecstatic for them I'm hurting so much as I don't believe it will ever happen for me.

I had to take a few days off work at the start of the week when the third told me they were preggers as I was just so overwhelmed and upset. A few days eating rubbish and watching Netflix made me feel a bit better but I have just lost hope that I will ever see a second pink line let alone have a baby.

I'm currently 6DPO and even though I know I won't be pregnant I'm still working myself up about it. I (stupidly) did a test today which was obv a BFN but it's like I can't help myself. It like a weird form of self torture!

I'd be so keen to talk to any hopeful mummas in a similar boat - let's keep everyone sain!

xxx

Good for you not testing so far! Remind me, which cycle are you on?

Ugh I know how you feel, I had a friend I was DREADING getting pregnant before me and of course, she did. It must be much harder dealing with those feelings when it's a family member, at least with a friend you can keep them somewhat at arms length. Has your BIL been TTC long?

In a twisted way, it's almost a weight off when those you have been dreading announce. Something you didn't think you would cope with, but here you are, still standing. Although, when I have found myself caught up in my panic station moments i think 'well as long as I am pregnant before they give birth, I'll be fine' and obviously it's never worked out that way, which hurts, then all of the emotions come flooding back when they give birth.

I try to remember back to the days when I was completely indifferent to pregnancy announcements, I was just happy for the couple and didn't think any further into it.. oh the memories! It never bothered me to think they would have kids before me, so it shouldn't bother me now that we're TTC.. but you still can't help but feeling cheated☹️.

Sounds lovely! Do your doggies love the water? Staying near a beach is so refreshing 🤗 xx

Just realised I forgot to tag you @Amy259 xx

Happy Saturday ladies!

So sorry for my silence, I feel like I’ve missed a bunch! I’ve tried to read what everyone has put but I keep getting the damn ads in the way.

I think @Amy259 you said you’re mid TWW? How is it going?

@User1400 so sorry to hear of another announcement, sending you lots of big hugs and strength!

I’ve just had my first acupuncture session. I do actually feel lighter ☺️ She said my core felt cold so has given me some moxi, which is like a cigar shaped thing, to light and circle over my belly button, ovaries and womb area. My OH couldn’t stop laughing when I was telling him haha I also have 2 types of herbal tablets to try and I’m booked in again next week 😅

Just starting my fertile week, I’m due to ovulate weds but I’m pretty sure I got a little thrush yesterday 🤦🏼‍♀️ so I’ve been whacking some cream on and popped a pessary in just in case. Hopefully that will be okay 🤞🏼

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out 💕

How’s everyone’s weekends going? ✨💕✨

@User1400 I think this must be cycle 15 or 16. Although it feels like cycle 400! 😂

I don’t think my BIL and his wife are trying yet, but I wouldn’t know for sure. They’re a bit younger than us but got married very young (before us) so they probably should get first dibs 😂 but they are the golden couple. My DH is the eldest and I think it would mean a lot to him to have the first grandchild too.

The dogs love water, especially the older one. They had a ball at the beach! How’s your Saturday going?

@HopefulGlow I love acupuncture! It makes me feel lighter too, and more relaxed. Glad you enjoyed it!! Stop it - I’m imagining you circling it over your belly like you’re saging yourself, that’s so funny. But hey, I’ll give anything a go!

Good luck with your fw! Of course you’ve got thrush coming on just in time for it, that’s really helpful, universe 😂 hopefully you’ve caught it early enough. How’s your Saturday been?

Your tww question… I’m about 9/10dpo (app says 9 but I think it was the night before) and I won’t lie… about 10 minutes ago I realised I hadn’t peed for ages, and temptation got the better of me. And I tested and girls there are two lines… I’m inwardly freaking out trying to hide it from DH but I’ve done 3 tests and there’s a faint second line in all of them. But I’ve been here before, with my chemical, so I can’t believe it could be real.

Reflexology and acupuncture are great for fertility. I really recommend both.

OMG @Amy259! Have you tested again? Eeek I've got everything crossed for you 😍 have you told OH yet? I don't think I could keep it to myself hehe. 💕

@HopefulGlow ahh lovely, acupuncture is mega relaxing. Haha I'm so skeptical of all the herbal remedies but as long as brings positive vibes then it's all worth it ✨.

My weekends going ok girls! Been busy today seeing friends and have finally just sat down with a cuppa 💆🏻‍♀️xxx

@User1400 no more tests, just the 3 I did at the same time. Two cheap strip tests and a FRER. I’ve got a digital to do in the morning but the lines are faint… I’ve also been here before, so I’m very wary. No, not told DH and will probably hold off until it’s darker and undeniable, if it’s even real. But I am freaking out and trying to hide it, but he asked earlier if I was okay so I’m clearly not that good at it 😂

Haven’t told anyone except you guys, and if it is real please know that I’m so conscious of everyone here and so aware of treading carefully, I just was in such a state of shock/panic earlier I had to tell someone. I’m really sorry if anyone reads it at a time they could do without it ♥️

I’m the same with the herbal stuff and never thought acupuncture would make me pregnant, but I find it so relaxing. And the woman who does mine is so clued up with ttc/ivf that the chats with her are like therapy! So mentally it helps me through haha.

That sounds like a busy day - I hope you’re getting some chill time tomorrow! Xx

@Amy259 HOLY GUACAMOLE I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! Eeeeeeek!! Please let us know tomorrow when you test again. I honestly felt so happy seeing this message and I have a huge smile on my face.

Please don’t worry about telling us, this is what we are here for! We are all hoping we get to see those 2 lines, so you seeing them gives us more hope ✨💕✨

I was seriously lying on the sofa tonight with this herbal cigar, circling my navel for 10 minutes. We couldn’t stop giggling haha so we better have a super baby now 😂 my OH is now on some concoction of herbal vitamins too!

Thanks @MagpieMary I might look at reflexology, that does seem cheaper than acupuncture 😂

@User1400 I was worried I would keel over and die after taking the herbal tablets….but so far so good 😂 it could all be hocus pocus but I will try it!!

So Amy!! How will you tell your OH?! That’s so exciting 💕

Baby dust to us all ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow holy guacamole 😂😂

So this morning the line is still there on an easy@home cheap test but still faint and the digital was negative. Af is due on Wednesday/Thursday so still a while to go. Im trying not to let myself get carried away because it’s so so early and that digital saying “not pregnant” doesn’t help! I’ll attached yesterday’s, I didn’t take a photo of this morning’s strip but it looks the same. Quality on here might mean you can’t even see them, they’re quite faint.

I’ve got a matching baby grow and T-shirt for him that I bought when i had the chemical last year that I’ve had hidden away, so I’ll have them and a test laid out whenever I tell him (this month or otherwise).

Haha that’s so funny, and I love that it’s making you both laugh too - we all need a bit of humour around this!! Xx

@Amy259 oh my goodness I can see them!!! I’m sending all my positivity your way, I hope they continue getting darker 💕💕💕

That’s such a cute way of telling him! I had a list of ideas to tell my OH, then after another BFN and me telling him. He asked if he could be with me when I test, he wanted to feel a little more included! So my cute little ideas are out the window but I know that’s not going to matter when we get those two lines 💕

I made some bread and butter yesterday ladies….I think I’m turning into an old lady haha

What’s everyone doing today? ✨💕🤦🏼‍♀️

….did not mean the 🤦🏼‍♀️ Emoji haha

@HopefulGlow keep reminding myself that this morning’s (at 5am..) were only 12 hrs later and it’s maybe just too early to pick up on the digital.. I just always see people online with faint lines getting positive digitals, so I’m disappointed it was negative. Im going to try and not test until tomorrow and not go out of my mind…

We have a memory box thing my MOH gave us for wedding stuff and we’ve never used it, so my plan was to fill that with the shirt and baby grow and a digital test, then just casually be like “oh I thought of something to use that box for….”. May try and film it… but if this is it (🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻) I probably won’t do it until Thursday or Friday.

I would love to tell him straight away, but the small comfort I take from the chemical was that I hadn’t told him yet, so I’m still clinging to that surprise “reveal” moment. I think I would’ve been even more broken if we had had the big celebration and talked about it out loud, then it went away. I know that could happen at any time, but I never got the digital positive last time so once I’ve got that I’ll feel safer to tell him.

Bread and butter, I love that! We ended up at the garden centre so I’ll join you in the pension queue 😂

Today I think we’re off to see my folks for a bit but not much else. What about you? Xxx

Oh my goodness @Amy259! I bet you barely slept last night 🤣. I can deffo see the lines 😍 confusing it didn't come through on the digital but did on the other two types of test, hopefully it just needs a few more days 🤞🏻.

Please don't worry about us, as @HopefulGlow said that's why we are all here, to see BFPs 🤗. We know you're conscious of us but appreciate hearing it all the same. Your news brings more positive vibes for us all to the thread 💓.

Super exciting and can't wait for updates over the next couple of days, I know those days will feel like years for you 😂.

@HopefulGlow bread and butter.. yummy! I enjoy baking but I am a bit pants at it hehe. I'm trying to shift some weight too, so a house full of fresh bread is the last thing I need lol.

--
You ladies ideas for announcing to your DH are so sweet! I don't think I would be able to hold back or plan anything surprising, I would just burst into the room and announce 😂. That's such a good idea @HopefulGlow your DH waiting with you whilst you test, gives them an idea how intense it can be xxxx

@User1400 couldn’t sleep a wink, and when I did I just dreamt about it!!

The FRER is definitely positive, here’s a better photo now it’s dry, but I can’t get the digital out of my head.

Just keep thinking “I’ve been here before” with a blazing positive FRER that just never got darker. Why is it never straight forward? 😂 I wish I hadn’t tested now!!

Yeah @HopefulGlow I love the idea of doing it together too, such a good way to support each other through it xxx

Hi ladies!

Sorry I’ve been a little quiet - busy as usual with work and been doing overtime over the weekend.

@Amy259 omg, I’m so happy for you! ❤️ , it’s literally put a little smile on my face & given me more hope that our time will come soon.
I defo see two lines so keeping everything crossed that they get darker! Also love the idea of the announcement it’s so sweet ✨

Hope everyone else is doing ok & had a nice weekend? I’ve just booked a holiday abroad for spring which I’m really looking forward too.

Xx.

@Amy259 that’s good thinking, stay positive and wait a day or two just to make sure!! I know I wouldn’t be able to though once I saw those lines 😂 it makes sense you just want to see the digital to confirm it though! I’m honestly putting all my hope out there for you.

That’s such a lovely wedding gift and way to tell him 🥰 eeeeek it would be magical! I would definitely film it, subtly 😂 I know I said I want to film it too, my OH said maybe he would feel weird everyone seeing the video?! But I explained it’s mainly for me and our memories! 🥰 plus no one (apart from my Mum) knows we’ve been trying!

I don’t think I would have been able to sleep either haha did you manage to get a little shut eye? How have you been feeling? Any symptoms?

Garden center sounds lovely! Did you get anything nice? 😂 we are such OAP’s! I love it haha

@User1400 hahaha that’s definitely a memorable announcement!! Being so excited and just waving the pee stick in his face 😂 I don’t think it matters how we do it, I know we will all savor it 🥰🥰

@AZ1992X good to hear from you again! You work so hard, you must be pooped! I hope you’re taking some time for yourself too?

This holiday sounds perfect, where are you going? ✨💕✨

@AZ1992X thanks, I’m absolutely terrified tbh. Trying not to think about it, and I remember ages ago saying to you “next time it’s a different egg, different sperm, different pregnancy, different outcome” and I’m trying hard to cling to that atm.

Where have you booked for the spring? What a dream!

@HopefulGlow thank you lovely! I’ll be soaking up all of that hope you’re putting out there! I feel sick with worry/dread.

He hid a camera when he proposed to me, it was the best thing. So yeah I’d probably try and subtly film it to have forever, and yeah it definitely would be for us/our kids one day to show them, rather than public viewing.

Zero symptoms but I imagine it’s far too early. We just had lunch and a wander, it was lovely. Our house is covered in plants so I’m impressed we left empty handed 😂

How has everyone’s Sunday been? Xx

@HopefulGlow I am, works been mega busy recently but I get really good holiday entitlement so I try and get quite a few long weekends in to break it up. I’ve got a week break away in November with our own hot tub/steam room & sauna - literally counting down the days 😂😂 plus we get 17 days off at Christmas too which is pretty good.

We’re off to Italy - I’ve never been before so looking forward to that. How are you doing?

@Amy259 absolutely, I remember you saying that to me and it’s so true ❤️.
Glad you had a lovely day Xx.

Update: 🥺🤞🏻🥺🤞🏻🥺🤞🏻

So happy for you! @Amy259 ❤️ That’s very positive, keeping everything crossed for you xx.

Thank you @AZ1992X ♥️ I still don’t believe it, or feel like this is just it now. My cheapie got a bit darker too which helped, and hoping I’ll feel better after I miss my period 😩🤞🏻

@Amy259 It’s great your cheapies are getting darker already and like you say hopefully you’ll start to feel a little better once you miss your period. Do you think you’ll be able to keep it a secret till then? I’m terrible at hiding things that I think he’d know 🙈

@AZ1992X when I got the digital I text my best friend, that took the edge off telling someone a bit 😂 she’s so buzzing for us and can understand that I’m so wary, but can’t fully grasp that to me it doesn’t feel like a done deal yet.

He’s got a big job interview on Thursday for a promotion, and he is quite sensitive so I wouldn’t want him to have to go through it this week if something bad happens. He’d tell me I’m being daft, but it’s only human nature to be knocked off if you get bad news right before an interview. Plus even if it doesn’t, he wouldn’t be as focused on all the prep work so (for now!!) I’m sticking with waiting until Thursday… but that could change 😂xx

@Amy259 Ah that’s nice you’ve been able to share with someone close and completely get being wary too.

Let us know how you get on and if you manage to keep it hidden until then & I hope he gets two lots good news with the promotion too! Xx.

@Amy259 I am so pleased for you! So happy to see someone on this thread get their BFP 🥺. Good luck keeping it a secret for the next few days, your DH will wonder why you are walking on cloud nine 🤪.

@HopefulGlow @AZ1992X how are you ladies? Xx