Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@Catconfusion thanks for your update. Glad to hear there isn't a backlog, but I really hope getting pregnant will just happen for you.

The change in diet sounds really interesting and beneficial. What made you change to that?

Little update from me-

I'm 5 weeks and 3 days today. Not really getting any obvious symptoms and feel quite normal. Did another cheap poas stick this morning and the test line is still darker than the control line. I'm planning on waiting to see if it lasts over next weekend and if it does, inform the midwife and make it official. But so aware there are potentially a lot more hurdles to cross for this to be a successful pregnancy!

@Littlemiss40andfabulous that’s fantastic news. I really hope this is it. I have everything crossed for you. Will you have an early scan? Symptoms seem to vary so much. With my first pregnancy I was projectile vomiting for 8 weeks and it was a mmc 🤷🏻‍♀️. No symptoms or lots of symptoms it seems hard to know if all is well without a scan. The signs are looking good for you with such a strong positive.

I follow a couple of fertility nutritionists and a Mediterranean diet seems a good choice for fertility. Lots of omega 3 and lowish carbs. I can’t be sure it it’s caused my early ovulation but since I’ve had three long cycles (50 days plus) in a row like I used to have before ds, it seems a sudden change. Xx

For anyone interested, the dietitian is @fertility.dietitian.uk on Instagram. I paid for a diet plan from her and it’s pretty easy to follow.

@Catconfusion That’s a really positive update! And thanks for diet info I will deffo check them out!

@Littlemiss40andfabulous I’m so pleased to hear that! I agree that symptoms are so individual I wouldn’t stress and just go with the flow. I think the tests are your best source of reassurance as it’s all about the hcg.

I’m off for progesterone and DHEA tests today. I panick booked them after my weirdly short cycle last month (which I now think was my vaccine).

Overall I’m feeling rather “meh”. I’ve foolishly been googling over 40 pregnancy stats again. No idea why I do it.... I think I’m just rather bored of TTC. I’ve never been bothered about having children so this TTC stuff was really about me and the DH looking back and “having no regrets by giving nature a shot”. We are not even considering IVF. But now I feel like it’s limiting my life a bit... Possibly as I approach 43 (in august) I’m just a bit too selfish for kids. We had the deadline to stop at December but I think we might pull that back a bit. It just feels like the statistics are rather against us and I’m getting bored of lying about why I’m not drinking! God I sound pathetic...🤭

Might add we had friends staying this weekend with their two children aged 5 & 2 and the 2 year old was a nightmare. Not sure I’m mother material...🤣

Blimey. That vent came from nowhere! Sorry!! The sun is shining, it’s another day!! Xxx

Hi all love to join this thread. Spent 9+1 hoping my little bubs would hang in there and be viable but sadly not meant to be. 42 so no time to waste on trying again. Our bubs was a total surprise so please share your hints, nutrition and supplement tips, and anything else. I’ve not TTC for 14 years so it’s all new for me x

@Geriatric1234 you rant away. Ttc is really stressful and boring when you can’t drink much and have to watch your diet. Hopefully you’ll get lucky soon. I’m sure you will make a brilliant mum. On the surface it looks so hard but when it’s your own baby it’s totally worth it. I doubt you’ll be having lots of them too. I honestly don’t know how mums of 2 plus do it.

The statistics really get me mad because fertility is individual and plenty of people have babies in their early 40s. It’s wise to get tests and make sure all ok, if anything just for the reassurance.

I’m convinced diet is the key to improving ovulation and egg quality. It’s not been too bad so far. We’re on our 4th week of it. Also we’re counting Pizza as Mediterranean on our cheat night 😂 xx

Welcome @Mum2baby07 I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so devastating and horrible to feel that pressure to try again due to age. You’re in good hands on this thread.

Personally I take Zita west vitafem, omega 3, inositol as I have long cycles and ubiquinol. Also a Mediterranean diet. I’m now trying to up my exercise as I think that helps too. Xx

@Catconfusion thank you so much for the warm welcome and info. I have short cycles so not sure if I need to do anything differently because of that? The diet interests me as I conceived naturally when I was eating healthier and walking most days and my lowest weight in almost two years so I will get back to that after 9 weeks of being too scared to do too much in case I lost my bubs but I did anyway . On the lookout for a good all round supplement for fertility so will check out your info and any other recommendations too x

Hiya @Mum2baby07 and welcome. So sorry about your loss - so horrible. We are the same age FYI!

How short are your cycles? I also take the same Zita West sups as @Catconfusion along with ubiquinol. Are tracking ovulation? Have you read "it starts with the egg"? x

Thanks @catconfusion for pep talk - you are absolutely right - statistics are averages and I need to remember I've been told I have no fundamental fertility issues so it's just time. And I'm sure I'd like my own child....right....;-D x

And @Honey2 lines deffo look darker to me. Even asked colour blind DH which he though was darker and he said 5+6. But I'd be the same as you and bracing for worst whilst hoping for best. xx

@Geriatric1234 I average about 25 day cycles - or did before this miscarriage - not yet sure what ‘normal’ will be for me. Should I worry about shorter cycles? I was tracking my period before so I knew when I was due but will start to pay attention to ovulation now. Guessing ovulation tests are a bit of a must have, especially post mid-carriage.

I’ve got Co Q-10 as my OH takes it - is that not as strong as Ubiquinol? Any recommendations to keep OH in optimum health too as he’s older than me (and I’m old enough in the baby making world!)?

Thanks x

@Mum2baby07 welcome to the group! Sorry for your loss xx

@Catconfusion no I'm not planning on having a private scan. What will be will be and other than eat healthy, keep myself well etc I have no control over what happens next so will just wait and see.

Had my mum come to stay for the bank holiday so shared the news with her. She was pleased and interested but quite pragmatic too- and was sharing that when she found out she was pregnant with me she had to wait for 2 missed periods before seeing the GP, and then had to send off a urine sample and wait for the results! Next milestone for me will be ringing the midwife on Monday (if no period arrives before then).

I’ve been looking into fertility and conception supplements - has anyone on this thread used FertilitySmart Conceive for Women and if so any thoughts?

And congratulations on your pregnancy @Littlemiss40andfabulous

[quote Mum2baby07]@Geriatric1234 I average about 25 day cycles - or did before this miscarriage - not yet sure what ‘normal’ will be for me. Should I worry about shorter cycles? I was tracking my period before so I knew when I was due but will start to pay attention to ovulation now. Guessing ovulation tests are a bit of a must have, especially post mid-carriage.

I’ve got Co Q-10 as my OH takes it - is that not as strong as Ubiquinol? Any recommendations to keep OH in optimum health too as he’s older than me (and I’m old enough in the baby making world!)?

Thanks x[/quote]
Hiya,

I'm not an expert but it's my understanding that a 25-ish day cycle is not unusual or anything to worry about. "Worrying" things are very long to very short cycles.

The only issue with shorter cycles is the Luteal Phase. You need about 9 days after ovulation for a blastocyst to implant (ladies who know more do correct me if I'm recounting this incorrectly!) so if you're tracking ovulation do you know which day you usually ovulate?

I believe ubiquinol is the purer version of co-10 (and is priced accordingly...urgh!). I take 300mg a day. My OH also older - about to hit 50! So he's on ubiquinol and Naturelo brand vits for men - chose that brand as it's a recommended one in the It Starts With An Egg book.

Have you had a cycle since your MC?

xx

@Mum2baby07 Sorry - just read that back and to be clear - cycle length only needs investigating if you go from a very short to a very long cycle. That can suggest menopause, but a long OR short average cycle is fine. Mine vary by a few days. x

@Honey2 How are you doing today? x

@Geriatric1234 ah thanks for asking. I’m pretty resigned to bad news on Friday. Tests are staying stubbornly the same. But I feel my symptoms have definitely lessened, less nausea and no sore boobs. Exactly what happened back in March sadly. Still I’m coming to terms with the idea we tried and it wasn’t meant to be. Very much looking forward to a massive glass of wine if it’s not good news! I’ve been tee total since Feb!!

How are you doing? Remind me where you are in your cycle? Btw - you would definitely like your own kids (most of the time 🤣) but it is a shock going from child free to baby no.1 haha, but you’d never regret it xx

[quote Geriatric1234]@Mum2baby07 Sorry - just read that back and to be clear - cycle length only needs investigating if you go from a very short to a very long cycle. That can suggest menopause, but a long OR short average cycle is fine. Mine vary by a few days. x[/quote]
Thanks for clarifying @Geriatric1234. As my cycles seem pretty static I’ll not worry for now but will definitely track my ovulation I think as no idea when I ovulate…. I always assumed it was mid cycle but now I’ve read up I know that’s not necessarily the case!

My OH is on Co-Q10 but only a low dose so will switch to ubiquinol for us both I think - thanks

Thanks for the new thread @October1979 sorry you're going through this again it's so hard!

@kalidasa sorry about your dad, hopefully he's on the mend now.

@Catconfusion hope your referral doesn't take long, I was referred back in March and was originally told it would be November before I hit an appointment but then one came through for august so not too bad!

@Honey2 I agree with @Geriatric1234 the timing on the digi seems right and the pics on 5+6 are definitely darker than the 5+1

@Littlemiss40andfabulous glad your line is still looking good

@Geriatric1234 sorry you're feeling meh, hope your tests went ok and you feel better soon

Hi @Mum2baby07 welcome and sorry for your loss, I'm 42 also and I haven't had a successful pregnancy since my now 15yo daughter either and so much has changed!!
I am taking all the suppliments -
Pregnacare conception
Vit b complex high dose
B6
C 1000mg
D high dose
E
Magnesium
Ubiquinol
Folic acid
Evening primrose oil (up to ovulation)
Maca root
I also eat fresh pineapple slices including the core in the fw drink pomegranate juice all month, keep my feet warm, grapefruit juice, seed cycling and anything else I find out about!!

@Honey2 Urgh. Sorry to hear that. I remember when I had my MC it was the same lessening of symptoms, but I started spotting very quickly. I really think this process is so tedious and knowing that life without this bean is fine, it doesn’t make it any less disappointing. I’m still crossing for you for tomorrow, but it’s good to know you have a consolation wine lined up. Have you spoken to DH? Is that definitely it for you? Given this BFP is there any temptation to extend the ttc period a little or is it a hard line? I won’t try to convince you either way, just thinking this was so close I’d be tempted to spin the wheel once or twice more - if it’s not make you crazy of course!

I’m CD23, AF due in 4/5 days. I think I’m getting slight cramps but I try not to think about it during the 2ww as when I had my BFP I felt exactly like my period was coming on. I just wait and see if she appears and if she does I chug wine and codeine and embrace being back in my familiar place 🤣 Honestly, not even sure I want a BFP anymore. I’m taking the vitamins but I’m still having a drink or two (literally just one or two) during the 2WW when with friends as I just can’t seem to say no when I don’t believe I’ll get pg. I think my journey is just a bit different because until my surprise BFP I wasn’t planning on having children anyway. I’m not sure if I’m more worried about getting a BFP or not getting one! 😆 xx

Thank you @Marvellouslymadmum! Probably hormones 🤪 How are you doing/feeling? Where are you in your cycle now? Xx

@Geriatric1234 I have no bloody clue 😂 I am cd27 today but from my temps and opk I've had two failed ovulation attempts (two separate low peaks but never any temp shift, in fact it's kept going down!) so what's going to happen next is anyone's guess! We have been managing to dtd every other day minimum since the first Lh rise and oh was doing his best Randy sex pest impression (think the maca kicked in well) but I think he's now starting to flag a little so may give it a rest and see if another peak comes along unless af shows her face 🤷🏼‍♀️ I had the vaccine this month so that's probably played a part in it lol
Have scan and sa results waiting for us at the docs but can't talk to her until Monday so should hopefully find those out then and if still no ovulation or af will talk to her then too.

What do you think you will do now? Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m the queen of long irregular cycles. My only advice is keep trying if you can. Do an opk each day and wait for the temp shift. It could be coming any day. Are you taking Maca? I found the cycle I tried it I had an extra long one. Really hoping O comes soon. It’s exhausting and stressful not knowing what’s going on. Xx

@Catconfusion I've had a few long cycles before they're so annoying! I'm still temping and opk each day and yes taking maca!! Maybe that's the culprit 😂 I was thinking it could've been the jab or maybe the fact I ran out of pregnacare at the beginning of the month so didn't take that for a bit but who knows! I'm trying to stay relaxed and dtd as much as we can we managed twice yesterday so day off today lol my temp was a reasonable one this morning but low opk so will see what tomorrow brings!

@Marvellouslymadmum it’s totally annoying. All you can do is keep going and try not to lose hope it’ll just happen. I read somewhere maca can initially affect hormones and cause an imbalance but this settles with time. I decided I didn’t have time to keep taking it and hoping my cycles got better. I’d be really surprised if the vaccine caused it. I o’ed on day 17 this time which is unheard of for me and it was a couple of days after my second vaccine. I’m thinking the Mediterranean diet I’m on has done something in my case. Xx

@Catconfusion good to know it may not last! Hopefully the end is nigh lol it was my second vax too and the first didn't effect it. The Mediterranean diet sounds good but being a veggie I'm not sure it would work without the fish!