Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@feelingkenty
I am so sorry to read that, absolutely utterly devastating. Big hugs to you. It's not the same but our second was born with a rare genetic condition (one of eight in the world!) he is severely disabled. We didn't think we could go through another pregnancy again (although that pregnancy was normal and we didn't know until birth). But we are now ready.. we don't know how long we will have him 😢
His condition is a fluke, not hereditary x

@feelingkenty so sorry to hear that, that must be incredibly painful to go through. Sending hugs. Xx

Hi everyone, I've read some of this thread which seems like a lovely supportive place so am hoping to join in!

I am 41 (42 in December) and have been TTC my third child (but my partner's first) for eight cycles (I had my copper coil removed last December). I have two DDs from my previous relationship who are 13 and 9. I am starting to worry about DP and I being able to get pregnant and we are both having the fertility checks offered on the NHS next month. I am fairly confident I am ovulating okay as I have been using the clearblue ovulation sticks and ensuring we DTD on the high and peak fertility days as well as other times of the month before and after the fertile period. My cycles are every 28 days like clockwork and every period has been bang on time each month. I'm finding I get really upset now when my period arrives and feel rubbish for a few days which I know I need to get over as it's starting to affect my relationship with my partner. I feel guilty that we didn't start trying earlier. We could have but our communication about it was rubbish and I wasn't sure if he really wanted a baby and he wasn't sure if I did! But we both really do.

I am on holiday with my mum and daughters and have confided in her that I am trying to get pregnant and she was really supportive and excited. I actually thought she might disapprove because of my age! So I feel like it would be good to start to talk to other people about it too a bit. I'm not great with all the abbreviations (sorry if I get them wrong!) but I am currently 8 post ovulation with my period due in 8 days. I have had very odd continuous lower back pain and lower tummy pain for the last four hours or so which I haven't experienced before, I had to take paracetamol which is unusual for me as I don't get period pains at all really. So not sure what that is, definitely doesn't feel like how my period does when it is about to start but having read about implantation pain it doesn't seem to fit that either!

Sorry for massive post.

Welcome @Kracken! I am new here too :)
That's so great your Mum is excited and happy for you! It's so silly but I haven't told anyone except one friend for fear of being judged.. it's nobody's bloody business!
It certainly sounds as though something is happening for you! I'll cross my fingers for you

Since I had my DD at 38, I have fallen pregnant at 40, 41 and 42. Each taken 12-18mths ttc. Just turned 43 with a bfp but very, very early days.

I can't remember who asked, but as my name suggests, I was going to give it to the end of this year to have a baby before I turn 44 next August.

Hang in there ladies, it just takes one good egg xxx

Send love and best wishes to everyone. Getting to grips with the early pregnancy symptoms. Those hormones are something else. Has anyone got any good book recommendations for pregnancy. I' finding The Mindful Pregnancy very helpful but I wondered what books were actually helpful or whether I'm better with reputable online resources like the NHS guides.

Thank you @ponymum1980 I will give that book a look. No recommendations as such as I’ve always just looked online at reputable sites for information.

The hormones have made me very unwell. I’ve had extreme nausea and vomiting for the last three weeks. Obviously over the moon that the pregnancy is progressing but it’s so hard being this ill. Xx

@ponymum1980 this is a book my cousin bought for me once I'd had my 12 week scan. She bought it because she'd found it really useful when pregnant with her first.

I'm really enjoying it - there's a 'page per day' of pregnancy with facts and pictures and things to consider at that stage of pregnancy.

That's encouraging @Lastyearttc, AF has just turned up for me today, it was my first cycle after coming off desogestrel (which I'd been on for just 6 weeks or so), so I'm not too surprised. Fingers crossed for next month for me and anyone else who's out for this month xx

@Littlemiss41andfabulous - thanks you. I'll see if I can get hold of it. X

Hi girls, hope you're good.
Does anyone use the clear blue ovulation tests? My period is almost finished.. anyone that uses them when do you start?
Thanks xx

@babyreds1518 I use them. If it's the connected version you log your period on the app and it highlights your test day xx

Started cramping and spotting yesterday and have lost the pregnancy symptoms by this morning. No cramping or spotting since, and the doctor I spoke to was lovely. Think it was bang on the 5 week mark. Miscarriage hasn't started properly but just sad. We have to test again in a week if things haven't started happening. My OH is optimistic because I'm not cramping or bleeding now but I don't think he really understands the not feeling pregnant (constant nausea, constant eating, drinking, peeing, tiredness). Being gentle with myself today while he's at work.

Oh no @ponymum1980 I’m so sorry to hear that. How horrible! Sending love and hoping for speedy recovery. My DH was so optimistic during our losses. I don’t think they get how strong those pregnancy symptoms are. I hope you’re wrong and you get a surprise but if not be gentle with yourself. Xx

Hi everyone, I started reading part of the thread today. I was reluctant to rejoin MN after my MMC two years ago, but I wanted to have a space where I could talk with women who share similar experiences to me.

I recently turned 42 and my partner is a little younger at 35. I am currently just over 6 weeks pregnant. The only other pregnancy I am aware of was two years ago, which – as I mentioned – resulted in a MMC at 10 weeks. This had a devastating impact on me and triggered a number of anxieties. If this pregnancy is successful I shall give birth next year April at the same, tender age of 42 ; ) I didn’t actually think I would conceive again – although I always remained hopeful (at least I tried).

I’m taking each day as it comes as I know the potential risks. Fortunately, unlike my last pregnancy I don’t have the same compulsion to do multiple tests or count down each day. In fact, I only became aware of the pregnancy when my period never came. After 5-6 days I thought I should probably do a test. By placing less focus on the pregnancy I can keep my anxiety at bay.

It also helps to hear the success stories of others. That raises a smile to my face. Congratulations to everyone who is currently pregnant and to those who, despite the set-backs, are still holding onto hope and are on their own journey TTC.

With all good wishes!

@Peaceandcalm it’s completely understandable to have been traumatised by your mmc. I had one too at 10 weeks when I was 39. It was my first ever pregnancy and we were devastated. I was aware it was something that could happen but when you Google it, statistically it seems quite unlikely, although since then I’ve come to realise it’s something many women go through and I don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough.

After another early loss I conceived my ds just after I turned 40. He’s now 16 months and I’m 9 weeks pregnant after three early losses since January. I’ve had two scans and baby is doing very well. I’m 42 as well and this baby is due 3/4/22.

I know it’s difficult to believe your baby will be ok after all you’ve been through but your chances are really good. Most losses will happen before 6 weeks. Of course something could still go wrong but with each passing week your odds go up. Will you have a reassurance scan? It’s really helped us to see the baby growing and know everything looks normal.

I know you’ve had a traumatic experience in the past but many women in their 40s have healthy babies. Mcs are common in all groups of women. Yes a bit more common for us but pregnancy loss does not mean a healthy pregnancy cannot happen. Each conception is different.

I’ve got my fingers crossed for you and I hope all is well for you. I think you’ll find this thread really supportive. Xx

@ponymum1980 so sorry to hear that you have had a bit of spotting and all fingers crossed for you that the little bean is holding on tight! sounds like it may be a bit early to go to the EPU for a scan? thinking of you - the not knowing is so difficult and glad you are being gentle with yourself.

@Peaceandcalm hello! congratulations on your pregnancy and totally understandable to be anxious, but all fingers crossed that this one holds!

Yesterday was a rollercoaster between being very calm and philosophical and crying on the kitchen floor. No cramping or spotting since Friday but also no pregnancy symptoms apart from slightly sore boobs and my energy levels were up to preconception levels. But by yesterday afternoon boobs were getting sorer and I was needing to drink a bit more and tiredness hit like a wall, and overnight and this morning I've needed to drink and pee more again and have been feeling hormonal and sick and the symptoms seem to be back. Hoping we might not be out of the game yet, but we'll see. My partner's dropped off at work and the horse is fed so I'm heading back to bed to nap if I can.

Oh @ponymum1980 I really hope it’s all ok. I know I found the symptoms came and went early on. I also had some quite painful cramping, no spotting but lots of pressure in my pelvis. Fingers crossed for you. Xx

Sorry to hear about the last couple of days @ponymum1980 hope everything turns out to be ok for you. Try and rest as much as you can.

@Peaceandcalm hello there, thanks for sharing your story and congrats on the pregnancy! Sounds like you are in control of things and know how to keep yourself calm. I lost my second at 8 weeks and it was so tough. If I conceive again I think I'll find it very hard not to constantly worry. Hope it's a healthy & happy pregnancy for you :-)

Here is a new thread for us. Our current thread will run out after 1000 posts.

Trying to conceive over 40 part 2 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4335214-trying-to-conceive-over-40-part-2

So here goes i had a coloscopy on 25th june had a period 12-16th july dtd on 25th july ovulated i think between 27th july-1st aug!! Missed my period on 16th bfn after bfn after bfn then had a brownish bleed 30-31st August just the base of a panty liner never soaked through!! So tested again again and again then missed my sept 16th period and tested BFN then retested on the 18th BFP faint line tested today and its a super duper BFP!!! So i am 10 weeks 1 day since last period and yes i just got BFPPPPP i will post some pics of my tests to!!! So its not over till aunt flo has came it her full glory ladies a very late BFP is possible!!!! YES 10 WEEKS LADIES I HAVE A SCAN 12TH OCTOBER LOL

Hi all ,
I am over 40 and we want to plan our second baby ... it upsets me when ppl say ya it’s your age ... I know ppl have got pregnant over 40 ... just want to know is it possible to get pregnant between 40-44 ... I am healthy ovulating ... but when I hear from ppl my heart literally sinks

I mean I hear oh your age is more ... my heart literally sinks

I wanted to know if it possible to get pregnant and have baby in 40’s naturally...