TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

@Misty84 thanks. As I’m sure you know well, it’s just so. fucking. exhausting. It really felt like there was a lot going on, more than usual, but I guess that was just me ovulating for a change. We can’t see the urologist until the end of the month, and my next cycle starts early august. I really want to just get on with ivf. I’m so tired.

So sorry @thislittlebird It is so gutting, especially when you've had reasons to be hopeful.
Take care of yourself xx

@KatRee I think that’s the cruelest part of it all. You get used to having no hope and then stupidly let yourself be hopeful once in a while and it all comes crashing back down. Lesson learned (again). Don’t bother to have hope, if you can help it.

@thislittlebird It's so hard because we need to stay positive in order to keep on going, but we're also always trying to manage our own expectations to protect ourselves from disappointment.
I must admit that despite having 0 chance of getting pregnant this month due to OH being away, it's been good mentally to have a break from my usual constant self-talk through the month where I slap down all the hopeful signs and reasons to stay cheerful with the most negative thoughts and counter-arguments. I hope you'll be able to distance yourself from the whole ordeal whilst your away and it will feel like a bit of a break for you tooxx

@katree it’s just so hard to distance. I don’t really want to distance in a way, but at the very least we’ll be doing different things for a week or so. I want to make progress, one way or the other. We might need to start trying all month, every 2-3 days or whatever. Not a fan of that but not sure what else to do.

We have this other issue looming too, of the job in Cornwall. My husband has his second interview there when we go down. I’m bricking it because I want him to get it but I don’t know how we ttc if he does get it? I guess we’re just doing ivf at that point.

I really am annoyed our urologist wasn’t available until the end of the month. We’re waiting on his results and then we can meet with the Lister again. But it’s all so close to august when I’ll be starting my next cycle. I really wanted to try something like Letrozole or even start ivf in august. Every month without help just feels wasted because I may not be ovulating regularly.

I broke down in a big way last night. I’m so tired, I just want it all to work like it seems to for everyone else.

I hear you @thislittlebird. It’s properly, properly shite.
I’m a week or so into the tww, I don’t even really have any hope this month. Just fed up of it. Have our nurse consultation at the Lister tomorrow.

@thislittlebird It really is unfair- the cards are dealt so unevenly when it comes to fertility. It does sound like your making good progress now towards getting treatment and a treatment that will be really well tailored to you as well. I totally understand the frustration and fear about 'wasting' a cycle though and also how difficult it is to have extra life pressures on top of the whole ttc struggle.
Big believer in where there's a will, there's a way though and you have such a strong will to make this happen, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Take it one step at a time and look after yourself xx

Hey ladies. Back again after a long and drawn out mc. Back to the drawing board. Just marking my place and will catch up.

@thislittlebird so sorry about AF and all the heartache. Hope everyone is hanging in there x

Oh I’m so sorry @Pamparam. It’s lovely to see you again but I’m sorry that these are the circumstances😔
We’re all here for you🌸xx

@thislittlebird so sorry af showed and it wasn't your month but at least you still have way more chance now than before. I hope you have a nice relaxing time away and manage to relax a little, I know what you mean about letting that little bit of hope I'm and then feeling silly for it, I've definitely done that!! I'm not even barely tracking this month, we are dtd when we like amd I'll check when I've ovulated but that's about it, I've got consultant at the end of august so I'm really just waiting for that.

@Pamparam I do hope you're ok, it's so hard to deal with

@Misty84 what time is your appointment? We’ve just booked our sperm fragmentation results appointment for the 26th. Sigh. I don’t even want it, yet more blows incoming, and the Lister secretary isn’t replying to my request for an appointment the same week, which is annoying.

@KatRee I hope you’re right about where there’s a will there’s a way, I need it lol. He might not get the job, but if he does I feel like it’s too big a chance to pass up. It’s not amazing best job ever situ, he’s not really that type of guy, too laid back. But it’s what he does on a good salary for that area that may not come along again. I feel like it would be hard but would be an opportunity for us, even if it took a while to get there. But I’m very scared of doing ivf alone, I won’t lie.

@Marvellouslymadmum the only reason I’m tracking at this point is so I can tell if my period is late or not. Tracking certainly doesn’t help me conceive . Glad you’re appointment is getting nearer, life feels like one long wait for an appointment right now.

@Pamparam good to see you back but sorry it’s under those circumstances. Hope you’re ok x

@thislittlebird It’s at 2:30pm and it takes us an hour to get there.
Don’t even get me started on the communication- it has been absolutely diabolical. Messy, confusing, frustrating. I’m just hoping things improve once we see the nurses and get into things. If it wasn’t for how much I’d researched this place I would’ve given up by now. It’s really made my blood boil and I’ve sent many angry emails!

@Misty84 is it just tests and stuff today? you definitely had a worse time with the old comms than me. At the start it was bad with reception and then when I got in touch with the secretary’s it was fine. But now they’ve decided not to reply. Admittedly I’ve not given them much time but still....surely a follow up appointment booking is quite straightforward.

I have my GP arranged viral screening tomorrow, including rubella and day 3 tests.

@thislittlebird It’s a 90min run through of the treatment plan. I think they’ll advise on any further tests I need to do (I’ve had everything done on NHS but some may be out of date, eg. HIV, Hep A etc has to be done within the last 3 months, and I had that test done back in Nov). Probably this should have been discussed at initial consultation but as you already know that was dire and she was just rushing to finish so hardly anything got covered.
Also will discuss the meds, how to inject, how much time I’ll need to take off work etc! Forms to be signed and witnessed.
Feel stupidly nervous🙄 Don’t want to be doing any of this…just want to get pregnant like a normal person!

This is gonna sound so weird, but there are women on this thread (and another over 40 ttc one) who I would genuinely rather see pregnant than myself. @Misty84 & @thislittlebird you are two of those women. So just FYI I did a little deal with the universe that I’d be fine childfree, but the deal is you two get your BFPs. The lady I wanted to get it on the over 40 thread just got her BFP so I think it’s working…..🤣

(Yes, I’m imminently AF-ing (2 days late I might add!) so being creepily emosh with strangers on the internet whilst downing carbs and sobbing at cute dog videos.)

@Pamparam Awww that’s shitty. How are you doing? Virtual hugs mate. It’s not fun. Xxx

@Pamparam That's so rubbish, I'm so sorry x

What a lovely thing to say @Geriatric1234. I’m truly touched! Xx

@Misty84 ooh that’s quite exciting though, it’s progress! Let us know how you get on.

Agree about being normal. That’s all I want, just for it to happen and not have all these issues. I’d like to exit this thread one day in my life 😂

@Geriatric1234 that’s very lovely and I’m in a super emosh mood too so you might set me off 🙏. Crying on the keyboard yet again.

I’m cooking myself a mid afternoon pain au chocolat and browsing houses I can’t afford but no dog videos yet.

Now the urologist is back from holiday and we have an appointment for the 26th of course, OF COURSE the gynaecologist is on holiday the week of the urologist appointment and not back until August 2nd and my next cycle is due August 3rd.

I've emailed and asked if we can start Letrozole plus monitoring in August, I cannot be going private and STILL not getting any help until September. Very tired.

That is ridiculous @thislittlebird, I’d be losing my mind too if I were you! 🤬

@Misty84 I really am losing it. I know they said it may not be especially worthwhile because of his sperm results but it will hopefully make me ovulate. At least I have a chance if I know I’m ovulating in August and he does still have about 11 mil motile swimmers, that’s better than lots of people!

It’s not cheap with drugs + monitoring + trigger shot but I cannot do this nonsense where I’m just sat here with no help and no chance. I need something to cling on to.

How was your appointment?

@thislittlebird agh, how frustrating! I can see why you'd want to crack on with trying something different. Have they suggested pairing IUI with the letrozole treatment?

@thislittlebird Yes of course, you want to be doing something and at least ovulating so you have a chance.

Yesterday was ok…well it was a bit overwhelming to be honest. An absolute barrage of information and I couldn’t help feeling gutted that we were there, going through this, not having funded treatment. OH obviously very concerned about money. It’s a huge worry for us.
We’ve got all the syringes/needles now in a little bag, our meds prescription and day by day instructions. We’re not buying the meds until closer to the time; AF is due in 2-4 days so OF COURSE I’m praying for a natural conception miracle!!! 🥺🙏
I need to get virology, full blood count and TSH redone (got a phone call with the GP this morn to beg him!- if not will have to get it done at Lister), all my other results they accepted x

@thislittlebird it really does feel like all we ever do is wait!! Can't believe they're all on holiday one after another - nightmare!! I don't see why they wouldn't give you letrazole or clomid.

@Geriatric1234 diary af is on its way for you but you're truly a lovely person

@Misty84 everything crossed that you don't need ivf but exciting that it's all starting if you do.

I'm cd12 today got my first flashy smileys woohoo BUT been bleeding again since yesterday! 🤦🏼‍♀️ no idea why, could be endo/adeno related could be something else 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's not like full flow I just don't know what's going on now and I hope it shoves off so we can dtd this fw!

@KatRee we discussed Letrozole with monitoring and a trigger shot on the call in early June, but she said try naturally then, didn’t mention IUI. They did send an IUI pack to us that was basically what we’d discussed plus IUI but I’m not super convinced IUI will increase our chances really. I’ve asked the question now, will see what they come back with. I’d like to do ICSI but it’s too soon, maybe September. The time for Letrozole for us would have been six months ago.

@Misty84 was it just the nurse you saw? Did you sort out your access issue or make any progress with it?

It is gutting, yeah. I’m sorry it won’t work work for you naturally but fingers crossed for your July cycle! We aren’t well off, we’re ok, but my no means in a position to throw unlimited thousands at IVF. The postcode lottery and cut offs are very harsh.

Did you get given a sharps box? I always see people say there’s was forgotten. Is it early August you’re due to start?

I’ve just had all my bloods done this morning, tsh, fbc, day 3, viral screening, rubella etc. Fingers crossed nothing weird shows up on that. Hope the GP will help you, it definitely saves a bit of money.