TTC 35+ thread 11

[VixFromThe6ix]

New thread! I dunno how to tag everyone from the other thread 🤣

Hycosy is booked for next Tuesday 😩. I don’t want it, even though some people are fine I’m worried about being one of the people who find it painful. Unfortunately Lister don’t do it at the Shard, a consultant does it, so I have to drag all the way to Chelsea.

@Marvellouslymadmum wait for AF and it’ll probably come and put you out of your misery.

Thanks for being so kind ladies.
I've just spoken to one of the GP's who is just lovely, I had a rubbish experience with another GP but this new GP is great, said if I ever want someone to talk to I can call her.
She's referred me for various blood tests.

I'm struggling today though, I'm so upset. I'm fine whilst I'm working as it's distracting me but as soon as I take a break I start crying.
I can't tell my mum because when I told my mum last time she made out that I was just being hormonal and dramatic. She didn't say anything sympathetic at all. She's here looking after the kids criticising me at every opportunity and I'm trying to avoid eye contact so she can't tell that I've been crying.
You'd think she'd have more sympathy having been through years of miscarriages trying to have me but apparently not.

@thislittlebird I've heard some say to take painkillers from the night before and it helps. Yes I'm sure she will show her face at some point!

@Magnum99 I'm so sorry it's really upsetting, your gp sounds lovely though. I know what you mean about telling your mum It's a tough one, is there someone else you can talk to?

@Misty84 agree lol! Or fresh egg button !

I'm feeling rubbish. Like I'm even jealous of hens that can just happily lay eggs.

I'm thinking of just going ahead with ivf. I can't cope with the stress. And it's impacting my ovulation. Oh well

@Magnum99 Sorry, the lows in this are particularly bad aren’t they. Especially if you’re not getting the support you want. It’s so awful! Just keep going💐

@thislittlebird I took painkillers from the night before and it was uncomfortable but no worse than mild period cramps. I know everyone is different so I just hope it’s ok for you🤞

@AnxiousWannabe I think exactly the same when I watch nature shows! Sooo easy for them, why are humans so crap at reproducing?!
Where are you at with your journey at the moment?, is ivf an option that’s viable for you?

@AnxiousWannabe this is how I felt, I just couldn't cope with the stress anymore and wanted it in someone else's hands! Can you get nhs funding or is it private?
@thislittlebird good luck for Tuesday honey, hopefully you'll be fine! 🤞🏾
@Magnum99 I'm so sorry, that's especially tough with your mum being the way she is. ♥️

@Misty84
The doctor I consulted wasn't keen as he wants us to explore all other options first but time is not at my side.

I tried all things to relax..it works sometimes but one thing I can be sure - the stress will always come back.

I'm thinking of trying letrozole and hycosy next cycle and then if I bleed ...straight to ivf. See even with a plan I'm still stressed

I am stress when ppl are announcing or I found out they have kids, I read up on childless couples, I think of tragic news (an acquaintance died at 43, a kid that committed suicide) and tells myself look things don't always work out the way u want. Then I bury myself with guilt coz who the hell thinks like me.

I try listening to music. Acupuncture is not an option for me coz I am more afraid of covid. I tried taking time off work but still...it's just tough

@notyetamumbuttrying
I will be going private. I can't bear the long NHS process..

@notyetamumbuttrying
Congrats on your IVF! Good luck ahead! I'm rooting for you!

@AnxiousWannabe thank you! Good idea with private, far quicker than waiting on the nhs. Mindfulness would be good for you, even on the apps. Headspace is a good one!

@Marvellouslymadmum Are you okay? Will adenomyosis affect TTC? I'm assuming not as you already have kids...? I am convinced the jab messes with cycles. When do you usually ov? x

After months of no contact with Care, they’ve got in contact with me and offered me a free consultation with someone from Zita West’s clinic (this is because I was unhappy with being pushed out of ivf and some admin woman pissed me off). Bit random. Think I’d rather have my money back for the stupid appointment that cost £155 for about 12 minutes. I might push for that.

Not *out of ivf, towards ivf

@Loladoodle I did tests too for exactly the same reason - I'm cool with whatever the universe decides but if there's an easily-remedied issue I wanted to know before wasting time! I had AMH/Thyroid/Vit D and a transvag scan to check for follicles and any visible issues xx

Hey all - just got my progesterone result and DHEA and as I paid privately they don't come with an analysis (I just went through Nuffield Pathology Direct) so I have no idea at all what they mean! Dr Google unclear!

Progesterone was 45.7 mol/L
DHEA was 3.3 mol/L

Seem to be within appropriate brackets...? I'm hoping this eliminates the need for progesterone supplementation?

All thoughts appreciated! xx

Yeah your progesterone is fine @Geriatric1234. I have no idea why it’s so variable.

@Magnum99 that sounds so rubbish with your mum, I'm sorry. I wonder if you having fertility issues pushes her buttons because it reminds her of how painful it was to experience that herself, so she reacts to that pain rather than being sympathetic? Either way, it's awful for you :( Has your hubby been supportive?

@AnxiousWannabe at the end of the day it's your decision if the doc wants you to try other things first just tell them your mental health is suffering and they may reconsider.

@Geriatric1234 I'm ok thank you, had a little cry this morning but pjs led myself up and now planning on changing diet etc to try and do everything I can to help. For some it effects fertility and some it doesn't, but there's about 4 ways it can effect and as we've been ttc for 3 years it's likely it is effecting it now even though it didn't earlier, one of the ways they suspect adenomyosis occurs is from scar tissue and I've had two c-sections so I imagine it could've developed after I had them. My cycles are usually 21-33 days so not reliable anyway with ovlation somewhere around the middle ish (I have a changing Lp it ranges from 9-17 days) but I've also had a couple of really long cycles so it could be the jab or may just be random

@thislittlebird yes try going down that route and see what they say?

@Geriatric1234 progesterone is within the good levels but I'm not sure about dhea I know someone else had there's checked though, maybe @Kitekat81 🤔

@notyetamumbuttrying congrats on such a lovely graded embryo!

@Marvellouslymadmum I don't know much about adenomyosis or endometriosis but hopefully someone on here has some knowledge or info for you x

@Noodella18 great news on the progress! Glad things are going well

@Magnum99 and @Farfaraway1 sorry for you both, it's really rubbish. I think it might be a generational thing @Magnum99 rather then your mum trying to be mean. My (really lovely) mum said 'oh well seven weeks is so early, almost like a late period' when I mc'd - I was staying with her when it happened and didn't get any sympathy really. She had had miscarriages trying for me, but she and her friends/relatives of a similar age all seem so matter of fact about them

@Noodella18 tbh I've not really talked about fertility issues with my mum, I told her in Feb when we had a CP because I was upset about how DH had reacted, he didn't see it as a lost pregnancy, just a dodgy pregnancy test.
So I told her why I was upset and she was like "ah right so you're hormonal then". End of conversation, never talked about us TTC again.

I think she'll probably be worried about having another grandchild to look after because I do rely on her a lot for childcare at the moment.
I've got a travel business but due to the pandemic I had to take a full time job working on a government helpline. So whilst I've been doing that, yes I've needed her a lot, but by the time I'm having a baby and had some time off with baby, the travel industry should have picked up and I'll be able to run my business around the kids, including baby.
She's a funny one, sometimes she can be amazing and kind and lovely but sometimes she just says or does the most insensitive or inappropriate things.
I do think maybe it triggered some feelings from her past and she doesn't know how to deal with it but she has a tendency to think that she's had things worse than other people.
There's just no knowing how she'd react, she could be the best support but she could just make me feel worse.

DH has been great this time, last time it just didn't occur to him that I might be upset but this time he's been more involved and he gets it now.

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 yes I think you might be right, probably is a generational thing, in their day they probably just got on with things more than we do.
She'll probably say "well in my day you would have just called it a late period, it happens all the time" 🙄
Yes it does happen all the time and many women don't even know when it's happened but I saw that line and I was excited and overjoyed, and now that's gone and I'm gutted. And I'm allowed to be upset.

Sorry I feel like I'm just dwelling. I need to pull myself together and get planning how I can increase my chances for this month.

@Magnum99 yes you're def allowed to be upset! It's horrible and disappointing when it happens, especially as we've been trying a while and our hopes get up so much. Take the time to wallow, drink wine, eat treat food, and watch a crappy box set x

But haha yep she might say that. I just don't talk to my mum about fertility now. I do get it a bit, they couldn't get a pregnancy confirmation until 8 weeks or something back then - had to miss two periods. But a little bit of sensitivity at seeing someone upset wouldn't go amiss!

Aw @Magnum99 I feel for you 😔 it's only natural and we get our hopes up every month. To see the line must be astonishing, then so crushing for it not to be. 😔

My mum says weird things sometimes, her best and regular one is 'you look tired', thinking it's caring, but really it makes me think I look like a bag of poo 🙄 Or she's surprised with I have an alcoholic drink... I'm like 40 🤷🏼‍♀️ Somethings they just don't understand 🙄😞