TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@Loulou237 Yes I was awake and the local anaesthetic was given about 30 seconds before she started so painful too.

I've also read that about dating being difficult but I'm hoping in the long run that wouldn't matter... But honestly I'm so new to all this I don't have a clue.

Xxx

@Elciekay ouch that sounds horrific! You poor thing.

Yes sorry I wasn’t clear, it doesn’t cause any problems really as they can date it by scans after a few weeks anyway so if I were you I’d go for it! Xx

Sorry you find yourself here @Elciekay I had an MVA back in December for my MMC. Also just had local anaesthetic, it wasn't overly painful but very uncomfortable. Like @Loulou237 says the only reason not to is for dating purposes so it's each to their own. I've seen women get pregnant straight after and then tear their hair out for 5 weeks as they don't know it it's a new pregnancy or not so in the long run like you say it doesn't matter 😊

Hi all, especially to @Elciekay welcome and hope you find the support you want here. Congrats to @bubblybrit and well done to those who are getting therapy or meds to help the process.

I just need a little vent and hand hold please! Life is just STRESSFUL at the moment, we are trying to move house but it has been delayed again and again, and currently living apart at friends' houses so only seeing each other 1 night a week. My partner is really stressed at work and in general the situation has taken its toll on the relationship, though we do still have a lovely time when we're together.

I just can't imagine getting pregnant in this situation, and as someone mentioned upthread (@davidrosejumper?) I have gone through times recently of not wanting to TTC at all, not feeling bothered about it whatsoever. I'd be better off not having kids, etc. Then I see expectant women or my partner's sis and her baby and just feel green with envy, to the point where I'm not sure I'm behaving normally

I'm still more or less on my PCOS healthy eating, though with quite a lot of exceptions, and find myself thinking I don't care if the sugar and carbs make me infertile! Which I know isn't what I really think, I just feel stressed and like there's not much to look forward to... Someone put my head right please x

Hi @susiebluebell I hope you’re ok, I’m sure all of us have felt this way at some point. Can I ask what day in your cycle you’re in? I find I always feel terrible on day 18/19 like really really down and this is made loads worse if I’ve been drinking or eating lots of sugar. I don’t really have any decent advice but just try and hang in there, your living situation will get better soon and you sound v happy with your partner in general. Also have you got any further with tests etc? Xxx

Handhold for you @susiebluebell moving house is the worst especially when upheaval is involved like that. We had something similar when we moved and had to let our sale go through before our new house could complete and ended up living with family and everything in storage, the new house needed completely renovating too - nightmare! Any idea of when you might be moving? That's a tough situation to be in whilst TTC and being apart. Sending love 💕

@susiebluebell I know I haven’t been apart of this thread for so long although my MMC was 1st Feb. TTC is relentless!!! Even more so after loss in my opinion! Because we “had it” then it cruely got taken away from us! It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on with the house etc. If it will help you take a break for a couple of months! Who knows what could even happen in the meantime. But I also understand how hard that might be. I’m feel so deflated and the exact same lately - I’m ready for throwing the towelling in. Not sure how much longer I can live month to month like this. I do agree with @Loulou237 about the cycle. Depending where you are. This has a huge affect on me also. Sending hugs!

Also totally get you with the jealousy thing. I work in a shopping centre and the amount of pregnant women and new born babies I see on a daily basis is silly. I’m also kinda dreading the texts off my friends sharing there news they are pregnant as a few are trying! Aw terrible as that May sounds I’ll be happy for them obviously but sad for me. Xxx

Few typos 🙈 towel in As

Big hug to you @susiebluebell moving house is always stressful but hopefully it will be worth it when it's done.

Seeing pregnant people and tiny babies breaks my heart at the moment too and I'm still so early in my TTC journey.

I'm not sure I can give you much useful advice but my thoughts are with you 💞

Checking in, how is everyone?

Had my first session of counselling last week for my MCs, it was quite helpful if anyone was contemplating it.
CD21 here, don't think I've ovulated 🤦🏼‍♀️ thinking of taking a complete break from TTC, we have our first appointment at the recurrent MC clinic in October albeit over the phone, I mean I'm not sure how she's supposed to cure my incompetent body over the phone 🙄

@bez91im thinking of taking a complete break too until next year. For my own sanity! I don’t rceognise the person I am these days. I really hope you get some clarity. Frustrating that it’s over the phone for you and not in person though. It all just seems so impersonal post Covid!

I’ve had my first set of bloods done this cycle. I don’t have my day 3 FSH and LH etc but they’ve just confirmed my day 21 progesterone was 61. Now I’m panicking because it’s so high! Does anyone know anything? I’m still spotting prior to AF appearing!

Hey guys.
I’m still reading here but don’t want to annoy/upset anyone with my current pregnancy. I’m 13 weeks now (I hope) got my official scan on Fri but had one at 10 weeks and baby was good.
Between being worried and not able to actually digest I got pregnant again my heads mush.
@bez91 the counselling sounds a really great idea and glad it helps.
I can honestly say before I got pregnant I was so so done - in my head I had accepted it wasn’t going to happen and I was starting to plan n live life outside TTC. We got married, got very very drunk and started having sex for fun instead of TTC (although we did still time it for ovulation).
I did a lot of crying about my losses, my wee girl being an only child and not being able to conceive and planned for IVF next year. Then - I was pregnant, I can honestly say I was totally shocked. So as annoying as it is when people say it, next month could really possibly be ur month so hold on to that wee bit of hope!!
@Loz2467 I spotted in the run up to AF n both times when that stopped I got pregnant within a couple of months.
Also we have been trying for 2 years and both times I got pregnant I had spotting around ovulation time - not sure what that means really.
Xxx

@elsimo I’m so very pleased your pregnancy is going well for you! Good luck with your scan :) that’s very true about holding onto hope although it gets so hard doesn’t it. But your story is inspiring for sure!

With my spotting it’s only happened since my second trimester loss back in Feb. I’ve had about 5 cycles since I think. I’ve had spotting before my period for 2/3 days and a shorter luteal since. Before my loss I didn’t have any spotting. AF would just start and I used to concieve quickly. :( but if my progesterone is high then that’s not the issue with spotting? I just don’t know.

@Loz2467 I lost twins @ 10 weeks in Nov and my cycle and body was all to pot with spotting, short cycles, early ovulation for at least 5 months. I was on my second “normal” cycle when I conceived.
I don’t think it’s recognised how much of an impact loosing a baby can physically have on ur body and how long it takes for things to settle down again. Fingers crossed you are almost there though.
Xx

@elsimo Wonderful to read your good news xx

Sorry for disappearing for a week guys, after I asked for reassurance! I've just read through your messages and they are so amazingly kind and comforting. I wrote that message when I was really down and confused, and just took a break from all social media/communicating and just focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

Honestly I am still in a mess about passing the year anniversary of our miscarriage. I think feeling angry and 'not caring' is a defence mechanism against being too vulnerable to all the mixed feelings - I know that as soon as I'm around pregnancy and little babies I just go green with envy. So it's not a genuine change of heart re having babies. I just never thought I wouldn't have conceived again a YEAR later.

@elsimo I’m so sorry for the loss of your twins. Keep us posted on your scan too :)

That’s reassuring to know. Maybe I’m still regulating. Like I said my blood work for 21 day progesterone was 61 and anything between 30 and 80 confirms ovulation my consultant said so surely it’s not even on the low side. I really don’t know what’s causing it.

@susiebluebell I’m sorry it’s passed a year for you and the journey probably doesn’t feel like your getting anywhere and Infact it gets harder and harder doesn’t it as the months pass. I’m scared of hitting the 1 year mark too. Did you conceive easily in the past and what tests have you had done? Is your GP helpful etc? Xxx

@Loz2467 We conceived sort of by accident! We were 'not trying, not preventing' and I was visiting my partner after having to be apart for the first lockdown. It was a lovely surprise and we were really happy and excited. It changed my view of myself forever, just in that short time. Not just a person by myself, but growing a new person inside me. It actually really helped with the body image issues I've had since forever. So yeah... a bit of a blow when we lost the pregnancy.

My GP has been ok-ish, not that easy to get things done. Honestly the biggest change in the past year has been changing how I eat after learning about PCOS.

Hope everyone is having a good week x

Aww @susiebluebell I’m sorry to hear the journey has been so tough for you! It’s definitely a rollercoaster of emotions isn’t it! I have everything crossed for some good news for you very soon 💗 I can’t comprehend catching easily then struggling. That’s what I can’t get my head around!

@Fern346 how is everything with you? I’ve still noticed a difference in my partner so I’ve just ordered the procieve. See if that helps! It was on offer at Holland and barratt. It was 7 months ago now since we both had Covid. I asked him to go for sperm analysis but he won’t until January when we’ve been trying longer. Xxx

Thanks @elsimo that's refreshing to hear. I'm so glad things are progressing well for you 💕 how was Fridays scan?
I feel like I've been done a couple of months. DH is now starting to wane and wanting us to start IVF (private) start of next year so we can karotype test any embryos. I have my first appointment with recurrent MC clinic in October over the phone so won't be seen by the NHS probably until next year so would rather wait even if that means not thinking about TTC for a fair few months.

@susiebluebell keep going with your eating for PCOS, you sound really motivated and you're doing well! Milestones are so so tough, sending lots of love 💕

Any interesting updates on cycles ladies? 😆 really late ov for me on CD23, never been so late so probably missed it 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Loz2467 and @bez91 thanks for the kind words. I am generally quite motivated with it, just had a slump there around the anniversary.

I'd be interested to follow along with the next bits of your journey Bez if you're heading towards recurrent MC clinic and IVF. Would you be doing 'not trying not preventing' or stopping trying altogether for a bit?

No interesting cycle updates other than I seem to have been PMSing for about 2 weeks haha!

@bez91 yeah my OH was the same, he was keen to push on with IVF but I was a bit more reluctant!
Scan was perfect, i’m measuring a week ahead so thats me almost 15 weeks now.
Waiting for all the screening tests this week - and starting to worry about the 20 week scan!
I think when u have had loss and tried for a while it just seems so impossible to have a healthy baby. Xx

Hey @susiebluebell hope you're doing a bit better now. That 1 year anniversary can really hit hard can't it! My first baby, first loss should've been one year old this month. It doesn't seem to get easier!
@bez91 I am currently 7dpo 7 days out from AF and no pms yet so keeping fingers crossed!

Oh, here you all are - I misplaced this thread somehow and was looking for it the other day but couldn't find it 🤦🏻‍♀️

On second cycle ttc now post our second miscarriage. Af due tomorrow. Decided not to test. I have some mild cramps, but I seem to get them both before af and in early pregnancy so they don't mean much either way.

We only dtd on cd14 and 15 and not sure when I ovulate but have always assumed it's around then. I just wasn't in the mood really - I think after how disappointed I felt last month I didn't have the heart to put too much effort in because then I would get my hopes up whereas it's easier to assume now that we haven't been lucky.

Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Fantastic @elsimo so pleased for you 💕

@re6ecca we are the same dpo 😊 AF due yesterday but that's when I usually ovulate on CD16/17 and this time it was CD23 so I assume AF is due 14 days after then? Who knows, might test Sunday 🤔

Hey @coconutlatte44 did AF show? 🤞🏼

It hasn't. And I've felt nauseous all day.

Fingers crossed. But it's hard to get too excited when I'm 1 for 3 so far

I think I'll test tonight. It's very rare that my cycle is longer than 29 days. Maybe once a year it's 30.