TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@bez91sorry AF turned up. I’ve just finished mine so onto the next one - never feeling hopeful though!

@Beleeve this sounds some great progress. Although I understand your frustrations. I had to wait 4 weeks for my blood forms to arrive from my consultant. I had them done on cycle day 5 which was the last day for them - I’m now waiting to see when I ovulate (which might be a guess if I don’t get my twinges - I didn’t get them last month). Then I can get them done again 7dpo for progesterone. I’m nervous as hell! Nervous for bad news or numbers! I don’t get how I’ve got pregnant easily in the past and now I’m in this absolute downward spiral with one thing after another! I haven’t heard back from my first bloods but I’m assuming she is waiting to do the whole thing.

Also - with my first cycle after my loss I started bleeding 5DPO. Got my hopes up thinking it was implantation (had that the last 2 pregnancies) but nope. It was AF showing very early! Luteal phases have now got better though so it was a one off. Xx

Hey @Loz2467 wanted to respond to you cos honestly your last post sounds like i could have written it. Think that was the main reason i lost it yesterday because same as you i have got pregnant pretty easily before so this all feels pretty unreal. Think it's sinking in now that there are clearly issues and yeah it is nerve-wracking.

So yeah i'm on my period now, started 5 dpo so deffo luteal phase issues. I'm not 100% sure i'm doing the bloods on the right date. They need to be done between days 2 and 6 of my cycle and then i think between days 21 and 26. I've got it booked for tomorrow which is day 4 BUT with my cycle i tend to have spotting then a break then my main period. The bleeding is tailing off already so not sure if this is my main period or the spotting before main period. This is my first cycle without a pregnancy in a couple of months so not 100% sure how it's gonna go. Hopefully the dates are close enough to be meaningful though.

I hope everything goes well for you and the tests show up where the issues are. Feels like we're on the right road finally!

Hi Ladies,

Can anyone help me in terms of ovulation. I’ve concieved twice luckily quickly in the past so I’ve never really used them. I tried them once after coming off the pill years ago just to try and get an understanding of my cycle.

Anyway. I’ve always confirmed ovulation with BBT chatting, I get a good temp spike and an increased temp throughout my luteal phase.

This cycle I didn’t want the guessing anymore so I bought the clearblue digital. I started testing too late so basically I’ve had 4 days of a blank circle which means none fertile day. However I’ve had 4 days of EWCM. A good amount too! So I’m assuming with starting testing late it’s not detected my estrogen surge for the flashing smiley so I assumed it would go straight to static like it did in a cycle I tested them last year. However I’ve woken up to another blank circle? Sorry for TMI but I still have EWCM and my cervix is soft, high and open. That’s always a clear indicator for me. Not sure why I’ve caused myself more stress and added something else into the TTC mix :(

Anyway. I’ve had 2 cycles since my loss where I have experienced ovulation pain. I ALWAYS get it and can even identify which ovary I’ve ovulated from. On the 2 cycles I never felt the ovulation pain I got the temp rise and it was sustained until my period. So question is…

Do I maybe have a super quick LH surge hence the negative opk digital?

Can you get a BBT rise without releasing an egg?

I’m so worried that maybe I’m not ovulating each cycle anymore. Wish I’d not bought the clearblue now because I’m just so anxious that I now have problems! Just worried as they’ve worked on me in the past and not now - so since my loss I’ve had 5 cycles. 2 without ovulation pain and 3 with.

Sorry for the long post but I thought I knew my body well and this clearblue digital has thrown me.

TIA for any help ladies.

Well, AF arrived a few days ago so spared me the trouble of trying to figure out if I needed to test any more or not!

It's my first one since we started trying again however it feels like ages since the mc. Found out end of April, first MVA beginning May, second for retained products beginning of June, then we gave my body a chance to "reset" with a proper cycle in July.

I'm a bit up and down at the moment, we conceived my son the first cycle we tried after our first mc so I was hoping history might repeat itself, and now that it hasn't I feel like I have been using the assumption it will as my coping mechanism and this has enabled me not to feel as bad about the loss as I might have otherwise. Now that it's clearly not the case I'm thinking a lot about the loss and the fact that I would be nearly 6 months along now.

Hi @coconutlatte44 I never realised until mine what a long drawn out process a MC can be 💕 passing milestones is super tough and I think your expectations can make things worse like you say, especially when you think you know your body too. I'm starting MC counselling this month which I'm hoping will help, there will unfortunately always be things to remind you of what would have been but after reading some ladies stories on this thread over the past year there is light at the end of the tunnel for the majority 😊

@coconutlatte44 sorry AF has arrived for you. The expectations can be super tough. I can certainly resonate with you on that one - I got pregnant first try with my now 2 year old and first time last October. When we lost our baby girl at 17 weeks at the start of Feb I was broken. However like you say I had a coping mechanism almost thinking I’d be pregnant with our rainbow by the summer. Thinking I’d be pregnant by my due date, by my birthday etc but it hasn’t worked out for us that way. I’d say I’ve been trying around 4 cycles now which in hindsight isn’t long but it’s 6months since we lost.

The milestones can be tough too but in the end I always found the lead up worst than the actual days. Try and be kind to yourself 💗

Hi everyone, apologies for the two weeks of radio silence. I just needed to take a complete break of everything that reminded me of ttc'ing. So I went away, didn't open my computer (the only place I use mumsnet on) for the entire time, and spent the entire trip drinking wine, eating soft cheese, huge amounts of fish (seaside trip), paté, etc.

I am so happy I was able to leave home. It has only been two weeks and a bit since the bad news scan, but it feels much longer, due to all the new memories that have been made in the meantime. I have started bleeding a few days ago, but have not had the proper miscarriage yet, so am just waiting now for the time it is all going to come out.

To be honest, at the moment, I don't know if I even want to go back to ttc'ing again. Has any of you felt like this? After my second loss I could not wait, and was literally counting the days to go back to ttc'ing, and now I just feel like I cannot do it. DP also wants us to ease things up a little bit. I am back now on being alcohol and largely caffeine free though (and still taking vits), just in case we change our mind.

I hope some good news has happened in my absence, though, and will read up more carefully. In my quick skim of everything, @bubblybrit, did I see you had a BFP?! Congratulations! I hope all is well with you @bez91? Thank you so much for your support and asking how I was. @Fern346, same for you, I hope you are doing ok?

Thank you @davidrosejumper. I’m a nervous wreck so counting down the days until my scan on Saturday (I’ll only be 7+2 but I can’t wait until 12 weeks after my previous MMC). I’m so glad that you enjoyed your break and were able to switch off for a little bit. TTC can be all consuming so I think breaks here and there are completely needed to keep your sanity. I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide xx

@davidrosejumper glad you managed to get away and eat all the good food and drink too.
It's really hard, I change my mind quite frequently about wanting to TTC again and how much I let it consume me. Last month was a down month and this month I'm up and down about it. It's strange that the thing I want the most (to see a positive PT) is also the thing I dread the most. Have you now been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic? I hope it comes to an end for you soon so you can get closer in some way. I'm ok thank you, trying to keep distracted. Very busy at work, going to the gym a few times a week and have some miscarriage counselling booked. Do you think something similar may help you?

@davidrosejumper hey lovely, it sounds like you had a really wonderful two weeks full of nice things - we definitely need to treat ourselves through this crap time.

I change my mind all the time, I feel more like myself again when not TTC as there isn’t any pressure or rollercoaster of emotions in the two week wait so I definitely think there’s no harm in taking a break for a bit until you feel a bit stronger. My auntie had 6 miscarriages but said she just had to go on trying as she wanted it so bad - she ended up with three children.

I’ve been talking to a therapist every week and have started anti anxiety meds which have been an absolute game changer and I wish I’d started them sooner, it’s really helped me to stop catastrophizing and stressing and I’m definitely finding it easier to live day to day rather than putting my life on hold until I eventually (hopefully) have a baby.

I really hope you’re doing ok and have someone to talk to, I know how all consuming this can get but you’re definitely not alone xxx

@bubblybrit good luck today! Let us know how it goes 😘 xxx

@bubblybrit hope everything goes well at your scan 💕

@bubblybrit best wishes for you for today 💕

Hi everyone a lady I follow on Instagram started this petition and it’s sadly only got 33,000 signatures so far so won’t be going to parliament unless a lot happens by tomorrow. Please please sign and share if you can. Thanks xx

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/574455

I should have said what it’s for, to extend bereavement pay for loss before 24 weeks xx

Thank you @Loulou237 @SLCxxx @bez91. Scan went really well. Measuring 7+2 and seen a lovely strong heartbeat 💓 I know it’s still early days but I’m happy for now. I hope you all get your own BFPs soon. I’ve been keeping an eye on this thread as will be delighted to see some more BFPs! Xx

@bubblybrit amazing news!!! You are 7+2 aren’t you? Exactly you can’t ask for more than that. Hope it stops the worrying for a while xxx

Yeah I’m 7+2 @Loulou237. I’m going to book the harmony test for when I’m 10/11 weeks so treating that as another milestone to hopefully reduce the anxiety. How are things with you?

@bubblybrit that’s good it’s dead on then so will stop any worrying hopefully! Brilliant you’re having another scan in a few weeks too. I think I will do the same when the time comes. I’m good thanks, had a bit of a break ttc due to my miscarriage being a partial molar but now I’ve got the all clear we’re starting trying again this month. I hope you’re not suffering too badly with morning sickness! Xx

@Loulou237. That’s brilliant that you have been given the all clear. Oh how exciting that you are starting again this month. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you 😀 I was feeling pretty sick earlier this week but feeling much better today so long may it continue x

Thanks @bubblybrit! I hope you continue to feel ok 😊 xxx

@bubblybrit that’s amazing new, congratulations 🥳

actions.tommys.org/a/miscarriage-petition

Hi everyone - new here! First timer to everything and I was 11+3 and started to bleed on 3rd August - EPU couldn't fit me in so told me to go to 12 week scan on Friday. Couldn't wait so decided to pay for private scan who said no heartbeat and was measuring 6-7w.

Had MVA 6 days ago (which was awful as had trainee doctor) and want to TTC asap.

EPU said to wait until after 1st period but have seen on other threads some people didn't wait. Am I crazy to start asap?

Xx

Hi @Elciekay welcome to the group but so sorry to hear of your loss. Did you have the procedure whilst awake?! Sounds horrid.

I’ve done lots of research as I think everyone does straight after a mc and I think the only reason they say to wait is due to dating issues so I’d go for it if you feel ready. It is difficult to know when you’re ovulating sometimes after a mc though as it throws it all out. Good luck with it! Xxx