TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@davidrosejumper I'm so sorry to hear this, hope you're looking after yourself 🤍
If its any consolation, I had blighted ovum at end of Jan and started bleeding about 2 or 3 days later so hopefully (as bad as it sounds) you don't have to wait too long and you can try recover quicker 🤍 thinking of you xx

Hi ladies,

Sorry I’ve been away from this group a while.
@Twinkles18 congrats on your new pregnancy! Hope all is well xx

@davidrosejumper so sorry about your news, it’s so unfair. I often wonder what we ladies must have done in a previous life to deserve all this crap!

It’s been 8 weeks since my ERPC, 4 weeks ago I finally got a negative test (though tested in the PM) I then started tracking OPK which were negative but then got a flashy and static smiley around the time I would usually ovulate so we DTD. 2 weeks after my period was late, sore bbs, headache, tired, back ache the lot so took a test and got a faint BFP, then a strong BFP on a FRER and BFP on a digital. I was cautious and felt from the beginning that things wouldn’t work out, I was right and 5 days after I started with awful back pain And bleeding which got worse.

I’m so confused as to whether it was even a new pregnancy or just left over HCG (I was testing in the AM so more sensitive) I have taken another test this morning and there is still the faintest positive- but I didn’t think you could get your period if you still have HCG in your system?! This whole thing is so confusing and I hate not having any answers to anything. So fed up with it all now!

Sorry for the rant, I just wish this was simpler or someone could give me answers.

Xx

@davidrosejumper. I’m so sorry to hear this. I have no experience of a blighted ovum but I hope that you recover quickly. It’s so unfair. Thinking of you xx

Hey. I am not due to test until Saturday (don’t want to test early as would rather AF appear than see another BFN). However, I’ve had an upset stomach for the last 5-6 days. Seems to be worse after eating. Combination of stomach cramps/loose stools....has anyone experienced this in early pregnancy? All the over the counter meds say not to use in pregnancy so not sure whether to ride it out until I test on Saturday?

I’m so sorry @davidrosejumper sending you hugs, make sure you rest and look after yourself emotionally too.

@Fern346 I’m sorry I’m no help regarding this. As I’m not too sure with my situation being different but I hope you can get some clarification. Sending hugs! Was it me and you that discussed Covid and the males? I’ve got my partner some vitamins although he’s hestitant 🙄 someone else told me about something called imperyl too. But now im like what if there’s something with me because of my infected placenta etc.

How do you women manage the thing of thinking there is something wrong with any of you when it comes to conceiving? Im never usually a negative person but after the loss I guess I just feel a bit let down etc. I don’t know how to explain it.

Hey @Loz2467 yeh we had the chat about Covid, Sperm DNA analysis and all that jazz..

I know how you feel, I had a bit of a meltdown at DH today as I just don’t know how much longer I can go through this, it’s been over 18 months snd we are still no closer to having our first child it’s soul destroying. I hate the person I’ve become, I’m so anxious, desperate and just miserable most of the time. We’ve agreed that if we’re in the same situation by November we will go due IVF with ICSI and possibly PGT to give us our best possible chance. We both got Covid again recently so I’m also worried that DH sperm will be affected again and I’m not sure I can go through it all again,

What are your next steps now? Xx

@Loz2467 I don't really manage it, I just let it happen and then it passes again for a bit The feelings come and go, we can arm ourselves with knowledge and treating our bodies the best we can x

@ChangeHtotheP Welcome. I'm so sorry for what you've been through, my heart broke for you reading your story. Wishing you all the best x

@davidrosejumper

@Fern346 I thought it was!

Aw I’m so sorry! I know those meltdowns all to well myself. Last Wednesday I barely recognised myself. I was awful!!! Hormones are the devil and the vaccine made O late and I’ve missed this window because of it so technically no changes here with us, we’ve only tried 2/3 months which I know isn’t a great deal of time but with getting pg easily before I can’t help but look for something to blame. If that makes any sense! I’m just going to keep going then after 12 months of trying or in the new year maybe get us both tested I think! A friend was round today and it took her a year to Concieve her 2 girls but for me I’m just confused because of my past but it doesn’t mean it will happen again. I also have a friend going through secondary infertility so that also plays on my mind too 🙈 sorry if I sound like a crazy woman.

So sorry you both got Covid and poorly again. Was it as bad as previous? Some of my friends currently have it and it’s more of a head ache and lost taste and smell rather than the horrible fever and chest pains me and DP had.

Sounds like you have a plan going forward which hopefully helps put your mind at ease a bit and you don’t know what could happen between now and then!

@susiebluebell I don’t even recognise myself sometimes! 🙈 but what you said is spot on! Xxx

@ChangeHtotheP welcome!

@davidrosejumper I'm so sorry 😞 look after yourself, I hope you've got good support around you? 💕

@bubblybrit yes I've experienced that in my last few pregnancies, not terrible and bearable so I'd wait it out until the weekend 😊🤞🏼

Thank you for your welcomes @susiebluebell @bez91 It’s nice to know people are out there feeling the same worries, concerns and general rubbishness as me. I have never felt so underprepared for something in my life so can’t be surprised at how many others have no clue what it’s actually like, it’s not just a heavy period like people have compared it to (it took all I had not to turn into the hulk and then sob, I had no control over my emotions at that point 😂)

I’m so pleased to see success stories on here and also the honesty from others. I guess we’ve just hopped on the ttc train, I wonder if we’ll make it how many stops we’ll have before we arrive at the conceived station?! Before then hopping on the pregnancy roller coaster.

I think I’m about to have my first period since the mc so I’m obviously a little bit reflective today. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi everyone,
We're on our first cycle ttc after a long drawn out mmc with retained products. Discovered at a private "reassurance" scan at 8 weeks in April, MVA early May and then repeat MVA early June after five weeks of bleeding and a continued positive test. Finally tested negative a couple of weeks later and af arrived early July though a bit later than expected

Have been pregnant 3 times, on first cycle each time but pregnancies 1 and 3 ended in mmc. My second pregnancy, conceived right after our first loss, was a lucky one and resulted in our 18 month old son.

Hoping the next one is lucky but a bit worried my expectations are unrealistic due to getting pregnant so easily all 3 times - wondering if that is what is making this last experience feel manageable and if I will come "crashing down" if we don't become pregnant right away.

Welcome @coconutlatte44 sorry for the journey you’ve been on too! Especially re visiting the hospital etc too! It prolongs the journey doesn’t it.

I’m similar to you. Got pregnant first try with my son - he’s just turned 2. Then when we started trying last October I got pregnant again first time but unfortunately lost her at 17 weeks back on the 1st Feb. It took 8 weeks for my first period to come then they’ve been regular since - apart from the last one was a longer cycle due to my Covid vaccine.

After the loss I was devastated but naively thought I’d Be pregnant again by the summer. We’ve tried 3 cycles now and nothing. I’m finding it hard to manage to be honest when in hindsight it’s nothing compared to a lot of people - time wise. I’m 35 in a week and it’s only going to get harder and not easier. I’m starting to wonder why I’m not catching. I wouldn’t say I’ve been stressed etc. I’ve done BBT to check that I am ovulating. I don’t know what else to do apart from I worry that something has changed with me or my partner in that time.

Thanks @bez91. I’ve never experienced it before but it’s only noticeable shortly after I have something to eat so can definitely wait it out!

Thanks for the welcome @Loz2467, so very sorry to hear about your loss. It does feel like we are in a similar boat. I've actually just turned 35 myself.

Our first mc devastated me, this second one upset me but I've bounced back much more quickly due to having our son around. However - I assume you can relate to this - I was really excited to have a fairly small age gap as I have it in my head that this will make it more likely they are close. I know that's not necessarily true I'm struggling to let go of it. If I could, I think I would be ok if things take a bit longer - I'm very happy with my little boy at the moment and was only in a rush to try for 2 so he could have a sibling close in age.

I feel same as you @coconutlatte44 I have a 5 and 8 year old already and really didn't want the big age gap it looks like we're going to get (if we end up with a baby at all) At the beginning i was even fussy over what month the baby would be born 'oh lets not try this month i don't want a Christmas baby'. Now herr we are 18months later, i could kick myself all those missed cycles. Just want a baby now, don't care when it's born.

So just to recap had my 6wks mc 2 months ago then a chemical at 4 weeks last month. After about 18months of trying and nothing i want to keep the momentum going cos something is obviously working up to a point.

Got my first pos ov test today so going to dtd tonight and tomorrow. I am due to go out tomorrow night, first time in forever and feel like i need a good blow out! Am i really irrisponsible if i have a few drinks on ovulation/conception date do you think?

@Beleeve. I think you need a blow out now and again when TTC! It’s all consuming (well it is for me) so letting your hair down can only do you good 😀

@coconutlatte44 I can completely relate to wanting the close age gap! I mean when we started trying last October I was shocked it worked so quickly and I felt so luckily to not be on this TTC rollercoaster. Then she left us 💔 I blame myself so much thinking if I washed my hands more and was more careful at work and didn’t catch Covid she would be here today. It breaks my heart and I blame myself a lot - I’m having therapy for it. I agree with having the little ones - he was my reason to get out of bed everyday - because I had to! But then parenting after loss is another ball game!

I’m just going to have to see what the rest of the year brings now. I wouldn’t even say my cycles are the same as pre loss yet. Getting some spotting before my periods etc which makes me think I could have a progesterone issue. Along with headaches and mood swings. I’ll have to just ride it out and see. I’m not ready to pay private yet as we’ve only been trying a few months xxxx

Yeah to be honest @bubblybrit i don't think a couple of drinks makes any difference at all and mentally it is SO needed! It's just when you expect things to go wrong you don't want to be in a position where you are blaming it on something you did (which i know i will do)

Ah @Loz2467 please don't blame yourself. We always do this to ourselves (see above me worrying about having a drink) I shouldn't have had that drink. I shouldn't have gone on that long walk. Did i take enough vitamins. It's not our fault, none of this!!

I also have spotting just before my period so suspect i have progestorone issues too but my god is it proving hard to confirm. My doctors won't check my levels cos they say only a specialist can prescribe If you haven't asked your doctor to refer you please do, it's such a long waiting list so get yourself on there xx

@Beleeve thank you so much! I think regardless of the outcome I’d find some other situation to blame like you mentioned! I have to push forward through these times. In terms of the progesterone I’ve just watched a live on Hannah Perns Instagram which was helpful and mentioned what vitamins to take etc and how to help. The good thing is vitamins, diet and less stress can help us regulate it out! Do you BBT chart? Like I mentioned I get a good sustained rise - temps aren’t too irratic at all this cycle. But I’ve had headaches the mood swings and now the spotting which is all linked.

Ah that’s so frustrating about your doctors - mine is the same. I got a set of bloods done and couldn’t pick the particular day I needed it so ended up having it 2 days prior to O. Anyway they came back at “normal” and they weren’t “normal” for 2 days before O. So I think I have to do these ones with my consultant and go from there but I think it’s just to check I’m ovulating which like I said I’m sure I am! So even if it’s low I don’t think she would prescribe me anything. Everyone is just so stretched in the healthcare system aren’t they!

@Beleeve. I know what you mean - I had to have a CT when I was around 6 weeks (nothing sinister detected thankfully) but I still think whether this caused the miscarriage. Very unlikely but the thought is still there! I honestly think that a bit of a blow out will be absolutely fine. I’ve done it on occasion and it’s lifted my spirits immensely and made me realise that life doesn’t revolve around TTC.

Well I tested this afternoon at 17dpo and got a BFP!! I’m really happy but also a bit apprehensive. Only 4+2 but going to book an early reassurance scan if I get to 7 weeks. My MMC has sucked any enjoyment out of seeing a BFP.

I hope to see more BFP from those of you yet to test. Good luck x

@bubblybrit That’s such good news. Congratulations. I have everything crossed for you. 😄

Thank you @ChangeHtotheP. Are you close to testing?

@bubblybrit No, I haven’t had my first period since the miscarriage yet, it was only last month. We’ve started taking our vitamins, I’m exercising to make sure I’m as healthy as can be and am going to start tracking ovulation after my next af flow arrives. We weren’t actively trying before as we were under the impression we would never be able to conceive. We don’t think it will work but we want to at least try. 😄

@ChangeHtotheP. I think it took me about 6 weeks before my period returned after my miscarriage. It’s such a heartbreaking time. I used clearblue opks and they were brilliant. Quite pricey but worth it as I also used them when I conceived my DD. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you 😀 x