TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@LauraLivs1986 I would say he'll be recovering and although it takes three months to regenerate I'd guess that Covid still effects it for a while, but lifestyle changes and pre-conception vitamins should definitely help!

@LauraLivs1986 I think when the unimaginable happens it makes you realise you’re not immune to bad things happening to you so you think the worst all the time even when there’s no evidence to suggest that will be the case.

Bad day for me today, just broke down in tears in my 1-1 with my manager. Thought I was getting better but clearly I’m still struggling. Going to take the rest of the week as annual leave as Im struggling to focus and stay motivated at work but I feel like such a failure and quite pathetic that I’m having to take time off again. It’s been three weeks since the ERPC and 6 weeks since I found out baby had died. Is it normal to still feel this low about it all? Is anyone else still really struggling to move past everything?

Xx

Glad you have a supportive manager @Fern346 everyone is different in what is normal so don't compare to others. I had my ERPC the week before Christmas for my last MC. I was interviewing for an internal job the same week so didn't have any time off, left early from work had the procedure and just powered through but I'm still up and down about the loss. DH best friend and his wife were exactly the same stage as us, were 12 weeks at Christmas when we'd just lost our baby and whereas my due date should have been this week, she have birth on Sunday so a down week for me but that just comes with it. Hope you start to feel better by the end or the week 💕

Anyone else in the TWW right now? Time feels so slow.

@davidrosejumper I might be talking out of my but it feels like I ovulated and am now in the TWW! Wouldn't have an actual clue, as I've been busy moving house, but all the signs were there. This is the time we have to stay busy and not overthink!

Welcome @Fern346 and @Hopefull1981 and @LauraLivs1986 you're in good company for such a crap reason! Hoping you all get answers and eventually get your rainbow babies. It's not at all unusual to feel severely affected by these losses. I was fine for a few weeks and then it hit me - it was the same as any other bereavement. Let it take time xx

** out of my arse

@davidrosejumper I'm in the TWW by rights, not tracking but CD22 today, guessing somewhere between 5-8dpo. When are you testing?

Thanks everyone for your messages. We decided what the hell we’d DTD. It was good to reconnect as it’s the first time since the miscarriage. @Fern346 I found out about my miscarriage when myself and husband had gone for a private scan. I was with my consultant the week before and had heard heart beat. He had booked me in for a section on the 21 December. It came as a complete shock. I knew when she asked to the tv scan there was something wrong. I don’t think I’ll ever forget about the heartbeat flatline.
In work I am in an awkward position, my boss left the day I had the miscarriage and my junior left on the 20th of June so I am pretty much alone. I can’t take anytime off at the moment. Mentally there are times where I can’t think of anything else and other times I find I could go 2-3 days without thinking about as work is manic. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself. 💓

@Fern346 sorry you're still struggling, it's so hard amd you'll only start feel better when you're ready.

@bez91 that's hard with your Dh best friend too 😞 this ttc lark can be so depressing

@davidrosejumper I'm in the tww 12/13dpo it's gone pretty quick for me but I think that's because I didn't ovulate until cd33/34 lol

@Hopefull1981 so sorry to hear your story. It’s heart breaking that you you already heard a heart beat. Missed miscarriages are so cruel, tricking you into thinking everything is fine. whenever I see I scan on the Tv it’s like I’ve been punched in the stomach.
Work sounds like a great distraction for you, I did have an stupidly busy job in the civil service before this happened, but moved to a more ‘strategic’ role as a way to help me cope. However the project I’m supposed to be working on hasn’t been green lit yet, so it’s a lot of waiting around - lack of purpose gets me down at the best of times. It should be getting signed off this week so Monday I can crack on and will be busy again which I really need.

@Marvellouslymadmum my fingers are crossed for you!

I have now been spotting for 5 days with no sign of a real period.. no idea what’s going on. I used to be like clock work before this and just want to be able to try again as it’s been 2 months since it happened.

@Fern346 mc really can mess with your cycle 😞 I'm not hopeful for me this month, or any other month to be honest! My temps have been dropping the last few days so expecting af any day now, though not getting my usual pain yet so may be Thursday or Friday

@Marvellouslymadmum well even if this month isn’t the month, you’re still one month closer to getting your BFP as I’m certain it will happen eventually, in this day and age it’s very rare to hear of couples who never go on to have a baby so I’m sure your rainbow will come soon but I know it’s hard to have to struggle and wait when others breeze through it.
My auntie had 5 miscarriages but she got there eventually and ended up with three children xx

@Marvellouslymadmum@bez91@susiebluebell, I am currently 3DPO. I plan to first test around 10DPO (next week Wednesday) with a FRER. I hope to keep busy in the coming week, but am secretly counting the hours.

I got pregnant quickly both times before, and although I know that it is unlikely to happen again so soon, I secretly struggle to manage my expectations. I keep on thinking how wonderful it would be to be pregnant again, when the baby would be due in that case, when the different antenatal appointments would be, etc. It is a bit mad.

@Fern346 I hope so it's just so discouraging isn't it when you see it happening for everyone else and not you! Especially as we've both had children separately just not together! I'm sure we'll all get there in the end.

@davidrosejumper I did that for a long time, working out due dates etc but it's gone on so long now I just tend to wait for af each time and try not to think about it!

Like you Marvellously I don't count dates any more, I haven't really had any opportunity to since my MC anyway!

Very happy that we'll have some people testing soon, that's always exciting

@susiebluebell I find it gets me optimistic therefore more disappointed when af arrives each time

Hey ladies, I am so fed up and confused.

I did a pregnancy test 10 days ago (3weeks after my ERPC) it was positive but so faint so assumed it would be negative in a few days. I’ve since done ovulation tests (clear blue) which have been negative.
Today I took a HCG test and it was positive, just really faint, I then took an ovulation test and got a smiley face (this used to happen when I was still getting strong positives) so now I don’t know what to think. It’s definitely not a new pregnancy. I’m also still bleeding so don’t see how I would be ovulating, but if it’s the HCG setting off the positives on the ovulation sticks then does this mean my levels have gone back up?!

I’m so fed up and tired of this now, I just want to be able to try again and I really don’t want to have to go to EPU.

Any ideas of what could be happening?

@Fern346, I am sorry, these things are horrible. I remember taking my pregnancy tests, waiting for things to go negative. It took around 6 weeks. It just really sucks. You really do want everything to be negative again before giving it a try though. I remember waiting for that moment, and thinking how ironic it was that I was sitting there, hoping for the sticks to go negative, while I had previously so wanted it to be a positive. Hang in there!

@Marvellouslymadmum, I get the cautious optimism thing. I think I just can't help myself at the moment, with it being the first time TTC'ing again after loss. Hopefully, after a cycle or two I will get a bit more realistic, and it isn't so all-consuming anymore. Fingers crossed for you, @susiebluebell and @bez91 this month!

Hi @Fern346 to be honest all bets are off so close to MC. It can be more stressful than not using OPKs, difficult when you don't know where in your cycle you are.
Is just continuing to have regular sex and not track until your next period an option for you?

@davidrosejumper thank you. We'll probably be testing a similar time 😊. I'm going to hold out until next Thursday 1st July (AF due about Saturday) so may just wait for that! Lots a cramping last few days and fatigue hit me today but I usually cramp the week before AF arrives so not being optimistic 😊

So didn’t see this coming

@davidrosejumper thanks, it is so frustrating. I don’t understand these women who manage to get pregnant two weeks after a miscarriage - this has been the longest experience, just feels never ending!

@bez91 I’m currently bleeding (spotting) so I haven’t really wanted to DTD.

Xx

@Fern346 I was the same as you with the constant positive preg tests after miscarriage at end of Jan. Everytime I googled it said a few weeks and you'd be back to normal but in all honesty I didn't stop bleeding/spotting for 2 months.

Just trust the process and try to not put pressure on yourself💗

Oh wow @elsimo you hiatus didn't last long! Congratulations! 🥳

Honestly! I did not see this coming at all - I tested today just to get it over and done with this month. Can’t quite believe it 7 months after the MC and how weird as today would have been my due date xx

@Fern346 I have seen some say it's taken 6-9 weeks for them to get a completely negative test unfortunately mine weren't that long but everyone is different, hopefully it will be sorted for you soon

@elsimo amazing, congratulations! 🎉 🤞🏻 for you're sticky bean, really lovely that today would've been your due date too