TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

Yessss @SLCxxx that's fantastic congratulations 🥳 😊 blazing positive too! 14 dpo is that right? Very happy for you!

Yay! Congratulations @SLCxxx you must be over the moon xxx

👏👏🤗congrats @SLCxxx

@bez91 thank you, yeah 14 dpo. Let’s see if I manage to keep this one 😰

Thank you @Loulou237 @Lollipop25 💕

@SLCxxx, that is great news. Fingers crossed for you!

@SLCxxx congratulations so please for you! Its lovely to hear some positive news!

Im currently waiting for my second AF post MMC currently 2 days late and feeling very confused. I waited 11 weeks for my first AF post Surgery.

Hi ladies, do you mind if I join?

Had a MMC 24th April, (thought I was 13 weeks but found out at first scan baby had died around 9 weeks) had medical that didn’t work (BFP 3 weeks after) and had to have subsequent ERPC 3 weeks ago.
Got my negative test a few days ago then immediately got what I think is my period though it was extremely light and pretty much over now.
I’m now waiting to ovulate (I use clear blue OPKs) and want to start trying again, though this pregnancy took 14 months/12 cycles!
(Husband got COVID which rendered him practically infertile for 9 months, but as soon as his sperm was back in the normal range -boom!- we got pregnant.)

Today im having a really bad day, feeling so sad and exhausted and so anxious that I have to go back to being that obsessive person, constantly POAS and dealing with the crushing disappointment of BFNs. Since we decided to start trying, all of my cousins and my sister started TTC and all got pregnant and had a baby in that time.
I’m also so sad that the innocence of pregnancy has now gone, and even if I am lucky enough to get pregnant I will just be terrified of having another miscarriage, as I had no warning signs at all with this one.

I feel very alone In all of this and really need a support group 😊

Hi @Fern346, I am really sorry for your loss.

I think everyone here knows that getting a BFP is sadly just the first step of a long road. But hopefully, we can all pull together and support each other until we have a more successful end to the story.

Hi everyone! I hope it's ok to join you. .

I had a missed miscarriage last month (7w5d should have been 9w5d) with a D&C on the 01st of June. My consultant said we should wait one cycle to try again. I am ovulating today, but have not had a period yet.

Would you guys wait for the first cycle or try to catch this egg?

Thanks,

Welcome @Fern346 and @Hopefull1981 👋 sorry you find yourself here and to hear of your stories.

@Fern346 you are right the innocence of pregnancy gets taken away once you've had a MC. I've stopped tracking for now and have found it helps me control my own headspace a bit better 😊

@Hopefull1981 the only reason they suggest to wait is so the pregnant can be dated. Assuming you've had a negative pregnancy test after the MC there's no reason not to try and catch the egg 👍🏼

Thanks @bez91. I have had negative pregnancy tests since last Monday.

Thanks guys,

Yes, I’m considering not jumping back into tracking/testing as I just don’t think I can deal with the pressure.

Urgh, The weather today is not helping at all, I just want to hide away Under the covers. I also had my parents to stay this weekend. My mum basically told me I should go on anti depressants as my DH “doesn’t deserve to have to deal with me being upset all the time” and that I wouldn’t be able to cope with a baby, or another loss so shouldn’t be trying anyway.

Hope everyone is having a better Monday x

@Fern346, lots of people try for another baby, after they have lost a baby. You miss the particular baby you lost, but you also miss the addition to your family you imagined. The first can't be fixed, but the last potentially can. When we lost our pregnancies, DP and I realised every time how much we really wanted to be parents. We are now in our first month trying again.

@Hopefull1981, sorry for your loss. I thought to remember that it can't do any harm in terms of higher chance of miscarriage (but I am not medically trained or so). I got pregnant again immediately after a loss without having had a proper period first, and nobody batted an eyelid.

@davidrosejumper thanks, I want more than anything to be pregnant again, I just hate that I’m back to the rollercoaster of TTC and worried the disappointment of not getting pregnant will just break me. But then what other option is there when you know the only thing that will make you happy again is being pregnant. It’s so awful we’ve all found ourselves here.. no one deserves to feel like this x

Welcome @Fern346 and @Hopefull1981, I'm very sorry for your losses💓

@Fern346 regardless of what your mother says you're grieving and there is no time limit on grief, I fell pregnant on the first cycle after my first mc and it certainly helped having a newborn to distract me so if you want to keep trying, do it.

Thank you @Lollipop25, I’m just waiting for my first period to be over - it happened as soon as a got a negative test 3.5 weeks after ERPC so I’m assuming it’s my period though it’s crazy light and hardly even need a pad. Think the hormones may still be making me feel quite down too. This whole process has taken two months!
That’s amazing you got pregnant so quickly - hopefully there is some truth in being more fertile after miscarriage. X

Hi Ladies,

Do you mind if I join your TTC posts? I haven’t been part of one of these before.

I had a MMC at 17weeks just a few weeks after having Covid. I’ve been trying the last 2 cycles but no luck.

I’m concerned about me and my partner having Covid. I have got pregnant easily twice in the past. First time when I conceived our almost 2 year old and first time last October. I know 2 months isn’t very long at all and I can appreciate the journey of people trying for much longer but I can’t help that Covid could of even had an effect. Or simply my body isn’t ready and I’m just not catching.

Can I ask @Fern346 please how you knew Covid affected your partners sperm? Did you have tests to confirm it.

Thanks Ladies and I hope you don’t mind me joining the journey!

Hi @LauraLivs1986 so sorry this has happened to you both.

In terms of Covid, we had been TTC with zero luck for 8 months when we went for fertility tests. I was fine but DH sperm result was terrible, ‘not enough to analyse’ was the result and GP didn’t even know if IVF would work. We went to see a private urologists called Jonathan Ramsay as we wanted to see if we could improve DH sperm to not need IVF. He did a physical examination and couldn’t find any reason as to why DH would have this problem, in his words DH had “a fantastic set of testicles” 😂
he sent DH for a further semen analysis a few weeks later which showed everything had slightly improved though still very low. Dr Ramsay asked if DH had been ill the last few months, which he had (including having a fever). Dr Ramsay hypothesised that He had likely had COVID which had had a huge negative effect on his sperm and that this would get better on its own as sperm re-news every 3 months (plus he advised better diet, and to stop smoking which DH did though nothing drastic diet wise) A few months later he had another test which showed his sperm was in the normal range and our chances of natural conception were equal to that of IVF so we shouldn’t need it - two weeks after that result I found out I was pregnant.
Mr Ramsay said he had seen a lot of men having the same issue, lasting for around 6-9 months then rectifying on its own. I think there have been a few media articles about it too but without research most doctors won’t think to consider this. Mr Ramsay is pretty much the best in his field and definitely the best in the UK. He’s also a lovely man.

Your DH could always do a semen analysis through his GP just to be sure?

X

@LauraLivs1986 also should probably say that 2 cycles is really not very many, I wouldn’t really look to get tests until you’d been TTC for a good 6 -12 months, though I know the disappointment can have a real negative effect on your MH x

@Fern346 thank you so much for sharing your insight re Covid. It’s something that’s played on my mind for months now along with TTC and the Loss too 😩 it just all adds to the stress of it. I’m so sorry you are on this journey of TTC after loss. It’s a rollercoaster. That’s great news about your DH sperm improving overtime. Was it likely to be last year at the start of Covid when he had it? Me and DP had it Jan of this year. So it’s already been 5 months since so let’s hope if it’s done anything it’s on the way to recovery! I think like you said after 2 months I’m not going to rush off and get tests yet. Even though like you said it plays some serious games with your MH.

I might see how the next few months go and see from there. Maybe get some conception vitamins in the mean time. This journey is a tough one!

@LauraLivs1986 no worries at all, happy to help.
Conception vitamins are definitely worth trying - DH took well man pre-conception and Mr Ramsay commented that it was likely they also contributed to the improvements.
DH thinks he had COVID around April/May last year, so it took around 9 months to get back to normal, though he did used to smoke so that probably had a negative effect too.
I’m hoping that it won’t take us another year to get pregnant now that his levels are all normal. I should be relieved knowing that this time we’re starting trying with no problems and have as good a chance as anyone else but I’m still terrified it won’t happen! Xx

@SamBass so annoying how our cycles get messed up by mc

@Fern346 hello and welcome, so sorry to hear your story, I completely understand how hard it is to go back to ttc after you thought you didn't need to and the difficult situation with your family, it's so hard when you want to be happy for them but you're sad for yourself, just know we are all here and have been in similar situations so vent away, and we will be here to listen. As for mums they're not always the best at how they deliver their 'helpful' advice. Unfortunately mc can mess up your cycles for a while but not in every case.

@Hopefull1981 hi, I'm sorry for your loss, I waited after my first mc but not my second, I believe they only tell you to wait as it's easier to date a pregnancy but in all honesty as far as I'm concerned it's about if you're ready to try again

@LauraLivs1986 so sorry for your loss, I have heard that Covid can really effect your partners sperm so would definitely be worth getting an sa done, not sure if the gp will do it for you as it's usually done after people have been trying for a long time with no success but who knows with Covid rules! If not you can get it done yourselves relatively reasonably

@Marvellouslymadmum thank you xx

@Fern346 thank you for all the information it’s really helpful. I think I’ll start with conception vitamins for us both! I’m the exact same - had no issues getting pregnant before but now I’ve convinced myself there is issues 🙈 our brains work in mysterious ways after loss and TTC.

@Marvellouslymadmum that’s my worry 😩 on top of everything I really didn’t need this extra worry of Covid. He had it pretty bad too. It’s been 5 months now since he’s had it and we’ve been trying for 2 so I’m thinking it’s already regenerating. I saw online it takes around 74 days for a whole cycle but maybe on Covid circumstances it takes longer for them? I don’t feel ready to send him for SA yet if I’ve only been trying for 2 months.

Thanks for all your advice ladies.