We were supposed to wait a few months to ttc. I decided to track my cycles, as I havent tried to conceive for a few years and wanted to get to know my fertile days.
I had a positive opk on the 27th and it must have gone to my head, because we had sex that night and definitely didn't prevent. A few hours before, I felt something go 'pop pop pop' in my left ovary area (I always feel ovulation). I was out for a walk as I felt it, and the evening sky was so beautiful and I felt all misty eyed about creation. Everything inside me was telling me to go for it, so we did 🙈
The next day I had that feeling of panic, like 'what have I done!' 😄. Then that was replaced by an unbelievable sense of giddiness and excitement to the point I started wondering if I was going to have some kind of reverse panic attack! Honestly, I was so excited that I was nearly sick! I am a 38 year old grown up!
You see, I had thought that ttc was off the cards as my husband didnt want any more kids, but he recently changed his mind out of the blue, to my complete delight, so it's like a dream that I am able to consider another.
The problem: I am absolutely convinced that I am pregnant, or that I will be in a few days when the egg implants. The thought that I am not pregnant seems impossible. The day that I conceived I wrote in my ovulation app 'diary' that I knew it would happen that night. (I just read this back to myself and noticed how I said 'conceived', not 'had sex').
I keep wanting to tell people I'm pregnant, including my boss (to help make decisions about staffing allocations). I just had sex a few days ago! Oh, and it's a boy, as if I'm not being ridiculous enough! I have even named him!
This is totally ridiculous! There is only a 20% chance of conception each month I think, and I am sure that decreases with age. This is our first month trying! There is every reason that I will not be pregnant!
I am constantly going around with a horrible sense of giddiness and excitement that is not congruent with reality and is actually physically uncomfortable. I feel like jumping up and down and squealing with joy at many points throughout the day.
Does anyone else feel like this? I am normally a very stable, pragmatic and generally realistic (possibly overly hopeful at times) person and this is totally bonkers to me! Please, can anyone relate? Or can a very sensible mumsnetter come along and give me a stern deflation?
I actually feel like I can't do another week of this. I have felt excited to the point that I wonder will I actually faint! Smelling salts anyone????
Help!
(If, by the reasonably high chance that I am NOT pregnant, I will update this thread for any other ladies going totally bonkers to help them get a grip of themselves too! Even when I was typing that, I was saying to myself 'yeah right, as if I'm not pregnant!'.
Help!