Talk sense into me...seriously losing the plot!Help!

[Anonapapple]

We were supposed to wait a few months to ttc. I decided to track my cycles, as I havent tried to conceive for a few years and wanted to get to know my fertile days.

I had a positive opk on the 27th and it must have gone to my head, because we had sex that night and definitely didn't prevent. A few hours before, I felt something go 'pop pop pop' in my left ovary area (I always feel ovulation). I was out for a walk as I felt it, and the evening sky was so beautiful and I felt all misty eyed about creation. Everything inside me was telling me to go for it, so we did 🙈

The next day I had that feeling of panic, like 'what have I done!' 😄. Then that was replaced by an unbelievable sense of giddiness and excitement to the point I started wondering if I was going to have some kind of reverse panic attack! Honestly, I was so excited that I was nearly sick! I am a 38 year old grown up!

You see, I had thought that ttc was off the cards as my husband didnt want any more kids, but he recently changed his mind out of the blue, to my complete delight, so it's like a dream that I am able to consider another.

The problem: I am absolutely convinced that I am pregnant, or that I will be in a few days when the egg implants. The thought that I am not pregnant seems impossible. The day that I conceived I wrote in my ovulation app 'diary' that I knew it would happen that night. (I just read this back to myself and noticed how I said 'conceived', not 'had sex').

I keep wanting to tell people I'm pregnant, including my boss (to help make decisions about staffing allocations). I just had sex a few days ago! Oh, and it's a boy, as if I'm not being ridiculous enough! I have even named him!

This is totally ridiculous! There is only a 20% chance of conception each month I think, and I am sure that decreases with age. This is our first month trying! There is every reason that I will not be pregnant!

I am constantly going around with a horrible sense of giddiness and excitement that is not congruent with reality and is actually physically uncomfortable. I feel like jumping up and down and squealing with joy at many points throughout the day.

Does anyone else feel like this? I am normally a very stable, pragmatic and generally realistic (possibly overly hopeful at times) person and this is totally bonkers to me! Please, can anyone relate? Or can a very sensible mumsnetter come along and give me a stern deflation?

I actually feel like I can't do another week of this. I have felt excited to the point that I wonder will I actually faint! Smelling salts anyone????

Help!

(If, by the reasonably high chance that I am NOT pregnant, I will update this thread for any other ladies going totally bonkers to help them get a grip of themselves too! Even when I was typing that, I was saying to myself 'yeah right, as if I'm not pregnant!'.

Help!

Smear-wise we weren't even going to be trying this month, in the end the egg was probably still in the Fallopian tube and nowhere near the cervix at the time so I thought best to go ahead anyway. Reading online it sounds like the smear results can be altered by a pregnancy so I'd probably ring up and ask based on how many weeks along you'll be, but they might delay it til after the birth for that reason.

Vaccine-wise I am really not sure, I've been hearing things about the Moderna/Pfizer vaccines being offered to groups with higher risk of blood-clots so will ring up and ask about that, and maybe wait til after the dating scan so we can check everything is OK first. Covid during late pregnancy sounds horrific so I'm quite keen to get a first jab before the 3rd trimester if I can. Will get DH vaccinated asap so that helps, but I'm the one most likely to get it from work.

@Ribrabrob thank you. I'm due af tomorrow and I can feel her coming on her broomstick 😄 which is fine. It was just all of the emotions!

I've learned a few things:

1. in future cycles, I wont pay so much attention to every twinge and emotion. Over the past 2 weeks, I've felt more pregnant than the times I was actually pregnant! All of the crazy symptoms, including the dry heaving in the mornings and tingling breasts, actually meant nothing!

2. We had been planning to officially wait to ttc in a few months (last month was not part of the plan) but I am not going to now. I am going full steam ahead as every month really does count especially at my age (38).

3. I know they say dont test until af is due, but that would have crushed me. At least all the bfns have prepared me and I won't fall off the toilet seat in shock when I get my period tomorrow.

Anyway, I am hoping my period comes promptly so I'm not messed around any more and I have a clear answer. Plus, another months worth of folic acid in my system cant be a bad thing.

Anyone have any other good supplement suggestions?

Vitamin d

I read that Q10 is supposed to be great in the days leading to ovulation.

If it makes you feel better I'd also convinced myself I was pregnant this month despite not really trying and also with all the things that are working against us in our ttc journey. I'd symptom spotted loads but now realise, thanks to my period that arrived today (late!) that the hormones that were causing my period to be late would of been responsible for the symptoms I thought I had.
I'm the opposite though, I can't bare to test until I'm really late! Seeing the bfn does nothing for me apart from make me feel crap. We are facing infertility atm though so maybe that's why... too many months of negatives!

@Anonapapple alot of people on here talk about concieve plus supplements, I don't know if they're any good though.

Tiny bit of spotting the afternoon when I wiped (sorry tmi). Just the once, so fingers crossed everythings ok. I sometimes think this site it the worst for making us more anxious. We read about everyone elses symptoms and worries and it makes us over think our own. I'd never even heard of a chemical pregnancy until reading about it here 😬

@Sadieeloise5687 and @Bundaberg84 thank you!
@sausageface I'm sorry things didnt work out for you this month but welcome to a new cycle!
@hewegoagain how are things now? Any more spotting? I'm sure it's totally fine and normal though!

My period is due tomorrow or Friday and I was just thinking about how odd this cycle has been. How my breasts have been sore and they never are, how I've been so abnormally crampy, and generally feeling so hormonal, weepy, tired and all over the place. I thought about the weird cm I had too. Despite all the bfns I kept having false hopes because of all the weird symptoms.

About 10 minutes ago it just hit me that the only thing I did differently this cycle was to start taking folic acid. I looked it up, and folic acid is linked to increased levels of progesterone in the luteal phase.

Finally, an answer!! Am actually excited for af to come so I can finally move on!!!

Oh that’s really interesting re folic acid!

I really hope you get your BFP soon

And I found out that Q10 makes me sick. I had to stop working at 15h as I thought I'll have to throw up. Good thing I'm one day before ovulation, otherwise I'd be even more convinced to pe pregnant now ;)

@Anonapapple no more spotting for the moment. Fingers crossed. How are you feeling? x

I replied to everyone today but it seems to have got lost in the ether! Thanks @Sadieeloise5687 and @Bundaberg84 and @hewegoagain I am so glad that everything is going well and no more spotting.

I am good thank you, very keen to hop onto cycle 2, hopefully tomorrow. Will definitely update when af arrives. I would like to think that I will be able to manage my expectations a little better next month, but as soon as sperm gets anywhere near an egg I start losing my mind! Only approximately 14 days left until I ovulate and we can do this ALL OVER AGAIN!

I'm in for the ride!

How’s it going? I too regularly convince myself I’m pregnant even though it’s only our first month of proper trying!

Period due today but no sign. However my cycle ranges from 25-30 days so this is nothing out of the ordinary. Also another stark white bfn this morning. I wouldnt feel too confident about a faint bfp at this stage anyway, especially when I got strong bfps very early with my other two kids and the pregnancies and babies were very strong and healthy. I am pretty sure I ovulated on cd 13 and would have expected something 15 days later.

Am hoping I can start a new cycle soon. Ordered a basal body temperature thermometer, conceive plus and Q10. All ready to get started but can't until my period comes!

How is everyone? Anyone about to enter a new cycle too?

You're still not out yet @Anonapapple.

I'm 1dpo, or 0dpo, had my peak reading on my fertility monitor yesterday morning. Off I go to the dreadful 2ww.

I'm currently on day 8 of my 6th cycle ttc! I'm also starting to track bbt and I'm also going to try the SMEP method!
Feeling exciting again waiting for ovulation!

Good luck for this month OP, hoping this is a good month for us all!

Just searched your name OP as I thought it rang a bell

You had we’re posting very similar sentiments about being convinced you were pregnant on a different thread last month

@Egghead81 not quite, though maybe that's how it seems reading back. Last month we were using contraception, as we have been for years. There was a slip up around my fertile time and my imagination just got the better of me. Looking back the chances were slim, but I hadnt had any kind of 'slip up' in so long that I guess I was so excited that maybe this was it. Little did I know that my husband would change his mind very shortly afterwards, and we were having full unprotected sex this cycle around ovulation time. I have felt physically very different this cycle, and am now aware that my body plays tricks and that my mind is very powerful. I probably am just very desperate for a baby and aware that time is marching on all the time. This makes me almost delusional hopeful at times and means that I read into things. I wont be so carried away next cycle.

You even spoke about the ovary sensation last month!

* About 40 minutes ago, I got a very deep burrowing sensation in my left pelvic area, quite low down. It lasted about 10 seconds. It could be nothing, it could be something but it was very weird! *

Op
In all seriousness - is everything ok generally? Beyond the TTC?

Yes I am, thank you. Ttc does make me a bit irrational but I feel like I am in a good place in my life and I just get very excited about the prospect of having another child. I have a one tracked mind about it sometimes. I think it can be normal for women to feel like this from time to time.

The ovary sensation that you quoted did not occur this cycle. I had other feelings there, but not the same.

Honestly this was supposed to be a light hearted thread. It was cathartic for me as I went through the tww. I learned a lot from it. I want a third baby and get my hopes up easily. My period is due today so I am feeling a bit over sensitive and hormonal, but thank you for your concern.

OP I feel your getting a bit of a harsh bashing here.. TTC messes totally with your mind. I would certainly be lying if I said it didn't send me round the absolute bend every single month.

(I'm afraid I have to admit to being a little bit of a lurker here I'm still hoping for a positive (excuse the pun!) outcome for you this month!)

@Daffodil21 thanks. It really can do.

This was all just a bit of fun. I really enjoyed swapping stories with everyone and comparing notes. You gave me lots of laughs!

Now is a good time to bow out with the news that I just got my period, so onwards and upwards for next month!

Best of luck to everyone for your ttc journeys!
Thanks for the laughs!

@anonapapple I've enjoyed reading your comments on this. It's good to know others are driven to insanity too! This is my first time ttc and the obsession with symptom checking and testing is real!! 🤦‍♀️
Good luck on the next cycle 😊

I think some posters have been harsh to you OP. Anyone who has experienced TTC will have had moments where you are utterly convinced you have conceived. Sending you lots of luck for the next cycle xx

@Anonapapple I’ve been a silent watcher on this thread and thoroughly enjoyed watching you voice what so many (including myself) go through during the TWW. I think some posters have been a little harsh and it’s really ruined the lightheartedness of the thread ☹️

But don’t feel like you shouldn’t post or be open with how you’re feeling because so many others have felt the same! And I, for one, cannot wait to see you get your bfp!