Talk sense into me...seriously losing the plot!Help!

[Anonapapple]

We were supposed to wait a few months to ttc. I decided to track my cycles, as I havent tried to conceive for a few years and wanted to get to know my fertile days.

I had a positive opk on the 27th and it must have gone to my head, because we had sex that night and definitely didn't prevent. A few hours before, I felt something go 'pop pop pop' in my left ovary area (I always feel ovulation). I was out for a walk as I felt it, and the evening sky was so beautiful and I felt all misty eyed about creation. Everything inside me was telling me to go for it, so we did 🙈

The next day I had that feeling of panic, like 'what have I done!' 😄. Then that was replaced by an unbelievable sense of giddiness and excitement to the point I started wondering if I was going to have some kind of reverse panic attack! Honestly, I was so excited that I was nearly sick! I am a 38 year old grown up!

You see, I had thought that ttc was off the cards as my husband didnt want any more kids, but he recently changed his mind out of the blue, to my complete delight, so it's like a dream that I am able to consider another.

The problem: I am absolutely convinced that I am pregnant, or that I will be in a few days when the egg implants. The thought that I am not pregnant seems impossible. The day that I conceived I wrote in my ovulation app 'diary' that I knew it would happen that night. (I just read this back to myself and noticed how I said 'conceived', not 'had sex').

I keep wanting to tell people I'm pregnant, including my boss (to help make decisions about staffing allocations). I just had sex a few days ago! Oh, and it's a boy, as if I'm not being ridiculous enough! I have even named him!

This is totally ridiculous! There is only a 20% chance of conception each month I think, and I am sure that decreases with age. This is our first month trying! There is every reason that I will not be pregnant!

I am constantly going around with a horrible sense of giddiness and excitement that is not congruent with reality and is actually physically uncomfortable. I feel like jumping up and down and squealing with joy at many points throughout the day.

Does anyone else feel like this? I am normally a very stable, pragmatic and generally realistic (possibly overly hopeful at times) person and this is totally bonkers to me! Please, can anyone relate? Or can a very sensible mumsnetter come along and give me a stern deflation?

I actually feel like I can't do another week of this. I have felt excited to the point that I wonder will I actually faint! Smelling salts anyone????

Help!

(If, by the reasonably high chance that I am NOT pregnant, I will update this thread for any other ladies going totally bonkers to help them get a grip of themselves too! Even when I was typing that, I was saying to myself 'yeah right, as if I'm not pregnant!'.

Help!

@Ninonk nearly choked on my lunch there 😄😄😄

@Anonapapple

Me again!!! Felt like my breasts were leaking milk this morning (but they werent). Am I going slowly mad!?

You would know if they were lol

Omg I so hope you get the BFP. This thread is ace 😂

I’m in the exact same boat, except my DD is 16 months and I took my bra off yesterday and milk came out my boob! I wasn’t able to produce enough to BF DD, so I thought this was odd as she’s not BF for like 15 months 😂 was hoping it was a sign, along with the very faint line ive had on a test but tested again this morning and nothing! I’m gutted as I know if I was pregnant it would show by now.

But we’re not out until AF shoes! So I’ll continue to test and think there’s a line until I’m bleeding.. then probably convince myself that it’s implantation bleeding and continue the vicious circle of conception 😦

@twinkletoesfairynose I know lol it was that tingly, squashed feeling but no damp bra puddles!

@24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed how many dpo are you now? I really hope it all works out and you get your bfp. The line and leaky boobs sounds promising!

Today was another day where I questioned my sanity! I'm 8dpo and had cramping today. My abdomen felt quite hard and I just felt very aware of it. I went to the bathroom and (tmi) wiped and saw very yellow, snot-like CM. I have never had anything like that before.

I came back from the bathroom (an in work) and about an hour later a wave of very intense 'something' came over me. I felt physical and emotional and the gist of it was 'you ARE pregnant'. I kind of broke into a cold sweat 😬

So, I am walking around like a zombie, as if I have actually tested positive. I feel so shell shocked and a bit freaked out that this is 'actually happening', even though it's not!

So, either I am very in tune with this pregnancy and I know before the test, I am deeply invested in getting a BFP and its altering my perception of reality, or a bit of bothm Either way, I just need to get it out there and share with some intimate strangers online 😄

In all seriousness, I generally am a very stable person, and I never had this sense of knowing with my other two, so it's not something that I am prone to.

If I get a bfn then all this will be a caution to me to not get too wrapped up in the ttc malarkey.

I just dont think I will!

I know that nobody here will laugh at me for being silly which is why I am baring my soul for you all to read 😄

I had to take my bra off yesterday when it was becoming an instrument of torture...my boobs were "zinging", especially whenever I laughed I bf both DCs and years later I have the odd boob-tingle every now and then whenever babies or bfing is discussed. Bodies are endlessly fascinating.

I took another test this morning (12dpo) and was mind-projecting a line at certain angles...put it down and 10 mins later there was a definite faint line there, but you're only supposed to check between 3-5 mins?? So now I'm really confused. Will treat myself to a test again on Friday and see what happens 🤞

I am so sure guys, and that certainty could be very disappointing if it doesnt come to pass.

@PoopMaster I laughed at the 'mind projecting'. Definitely been there. The fact that a line came up is very promising!!!! I did about a million tests this week, just to satisfy the urge. None of them changed. The imaginary lines all stayed in my imagination haha Will u test again in the morning?

Just saw you're testing on friday (woman of steel!).
Can I see a pic of today's test??

This is me every single month!
Except I punish myself for thinking these things!
(Currently at the end of cycle 5 of ttc. Got a BFN but not willing to accept that yet!)
Fingers crossed you get that BFP, keep up with the positive attitude and good things will come your way!

@naevo the mind is a powerful thing! Even if I turn out not to pregnant, it just wasnt my cycle and it will help me rule out these 'certainties" in the future. There are some benefits to not getting pregnant this month, some timing issues etc. So let's see. I got a blazing bfp with my two previous children on 9 and 10 dpo so am wondering if tomorrow I might know. I hope you get your bfp soon, and cycle 5 is The One!

12 dpo here and feeling the same. Even started a list of possible baby names 😂 This our first month TTC so probably not gunna happen so quickly (i'm 35), but i've been feeling so odd and tired the last 2 weeks i've almost convinced myself. HAD TO HAVE chicken wings for lunch, and I hate chicken wings lol (last pregnancy was worse, I had serious cravings for 'pulpo a la gallega' which is octupus 🤢), and just generally eating everything. These are pms symptoms for me as well.

Breasts have been sore since 2DPO and my temperature had spike by 0.4/0.5°C the last 2 days.

Desperately trying to convince myself that this is all a coincidence so that I don't feel completely gutted on Friday when AF is due.

I haven’t the foggiest how many DPO I am now. My OPKS were strange this month, then I ran out. But I had EWCM about a week or so ago so I’m going to guess at around 8dpo (why am I testing so early? Because it’s ‘11dpo’ since my predicted ovulation according to my app) so I go off both dates and just bloody hope!

@Anonapapple

Just saw you're testing on friday (woman of steel!). Can I see a pic of today's test??

Behold my faint line...it's actually fainter than I remembered it, haha.

I've definitely been feeling a bit queasy and that feels better when I've eaten something, I might be able to look forward to my twice-daily run to the loo in a couple of weeks time (as an aside my mum and sisters both "yeah feeling nauseous is rubbish isn't it" "no, I'm actually sick" "oh really, nobody else in our family has before, that's interesting" "thanks I feel so special". Both DCs (not envy!)

Boobs are not trying to attack me this evening so I might get outside and do some gardening tonight, in an attempt to distract myself.

Fingers crossed for all you ladies 🤞

@PoopMaster congratulations! And that line is very clear. No squinting needed! Its definitely a positive!!
Oh my gosh, I am so happy for you!
Is this number 3????

I love this thread! I am not in the same position at the moment as I just started my period on my 14th cycle of trying 😩 So I have been feeling down in the dumps today, but this thread has really made me smile and cheered me up 😂 @Anonapapple and everyone else in the TWW I am really rooting for you to get your positive test soon! 🤞

@hewegoagain sounds very promising! Have you tested yet?

@24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed I'm 8dpo too and it's a weird limbo land. Early enough to start feeling things but not really that early to get a bfp, at least for me anyway!

Seeing as I have been having breast twinges (some quite deep), cramps and the weird cm, I wondered would the pregnancy hormone be at a high enough level to pick something up. Cue me traipsing to the shop for a FRER that was negative.

With my first child I tested on 8dpo, bfn and then left it a few days and got a strong bfp on 10dpo. With my second I did one test for fun on 9dpo and nearly keeled over when a positive came up right away. I didnt really think I had done it either time, so this was a big shock. This cycle I have been testing since around 5dpo, burning through so many ic tests that I had to order a new pack today.

I never thought I would be in this position again. I really never thought my husband would change his mind about ttc and have spent years just hoping and praying that he would come to me and ask me to try for another. This is exactly what happened, and those few years of planning and daydreaming about this child i thought I would never have, have all come to the fore. I have been longing for this for so long, just the chance to try and now I have it, it makes sense that all of those emotions are being channelled into my situation so forcefully.

Anyway, just another little brain puke. Nobody except the thousands of people who read Mumsnet knows that I am thinking any of these things! You guys are the select few that I am confiding in 😄

@Nora11 that sounds so tough. I really hope you get your BFP soon!

I’m still in the midst of sleepless nights with DD2 and have sworn off having another, but this thread is making me broody! There’s something so incredible and magical about conception and pregnancy, despite them at the same time being so ordinary and commonplace.

OP, how old are the two children you have?

@Anonapapple I haven't tested yet, i'm trying to be strong and resist a few more days. I think i'm so worried that it'll be negative and I don't want to burst the bubble just yet lol

@Rach247 they are 3 and 6. Youngest justbstarted sleeping through a year ago so think hubby forgets what it's like. I dont, but am still willing to go back again one last time!

@hewegoagain I am the opposite. The thought of possibly having the option to know but not knowing drives me bonkers! A bit like finding out the sex...I had to know what my second would be as soon as humanly possible! I'm not impatient in any other areas of my life, just this one!hope you get a bfp on friday!

Tucking Mr Frer into the drawer for the night, ready to stick him into an empty plastic dinosaur shell full of first-morning urine tomorrow. Dont think he realises what this means to me. He better get cracking with that miu detection!!!

@Anonapapple thank you I definitely need another test to believe it, hope leaving 48 hours will make it a more conclusive "yes!" I just don't trust myself after being so convinced and yet wrong last time.

My two are turning 10 and 8 in the summer, didn't think we'd get here at all as I'd been almost waiting for permission to get broody all this time, so when DH asked this year I was quick to get on board with the idea. I'm glad we waited in a way - the last two pregnancies there were two of use getting excited which was nice, but this time it will be four! How old are your DC?

I've not quite got to picking names but today I was wondering on my way home how many KIT days to use at work (I really like my job this time round) and when to plan them in for, how the baby logistics would work...remembering baby logistics around feeding being a thing, feels like riding a bike for the first time in ages!

@PoopMaster I empathise so much! Your kids will be so excited as they are old enough to understand and help out!! Mine are 3 and 6, so still a handful but I always wanted loads of kids. I was pretty deflated when my husband said he didnt want anymore and that was that. I feel like I have been given an amazing second chance.

I'm so excited to see how your tests progress. Have you calculated your due date?? I did, before I had even ovulated! 22nd January haha!!!

Oh I have also been thinking of gender reveal parties, but that started last month when thought we had had a contraception fail (we hadnt, boo!)

Just for clarification: the thought of a gender reveal normally doesnt appeal, but hormones. Before my daughter was born, I remember ranting how I didnt want any pink or any of that princess crap moulding her into a narrow, limiting stereotype. Then she was born and I was squeezing a bow hairband on her head as soon as I could, and even wondered how soon was too soon to piece her ears (I didn't do it, obviously 😬).

Good luck for tomorrow I've just read the whole thread and am really invested in this for you!