TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

@CMcA21 you've been so strong! Only a couple of hours to go. Try and get some sleep! I'm convinced you'll get a BFP. I'm also not going to tell DH when I'm testing and going to announce it in a nice way .

@ItsMeantToBe I’ve woken up and been sick 😱 going to go and get a FRER today and test. I’m literally putting it off because I’m too scared... I don’t want to do it 😩

@CMcA21 It certainly sounds like you're pregnant! If your HCG is high enough for you to have morning sickness then a cheap test will definitely be positive, no need for a frer at this stage 🤞🏻

I tested with a frer this morning at 11dpo and got bfn which I was expecting tbh. Now I have to wait 3 days for a new cycle to begin even though I know I'm not pregnant which is really frustrating. I've got 1 test left which I'm going to put in the car so I won't be tempted to use it. It's such a waste of money. Next month I'm not testing until af is due cos it's making me miserable 😔

@Flopsy88 that’s so annoying for you, I’m so sorry. I would say it’s a really good idea to wait til missed period in future. Is there a chance it could be a late implantation and you could still miss your period? Any symptoms now?

@CMcA21 I possibly did ovulate late because my temp rise doesn't match up with my OPKs but if I did then we probably didn't DTD at the right time anyway. I had really strong cramps earlier in the week so I'd convinced myself it was implantation but clearly it doesn't mean anything. I was really disappointed this morning but I'm fine with it now. How are you feeling? Are you testing tomorrow? Did you get a frer?

Morning ladies! @CMcA21 have you tested yet?! So excited to hear!

@Flopsy88 I’m sorry to hear about your bfn - I know what you mean about the wait for AF - you just want the fresh start to happen ASAP! I always convince myself I can bring on AF with a hot bath or exercise - that might be nonsense if the luteal phase is a fixed length of course. Have you got anything nice planned to take your mind off TTC a bit until the next cycle?

I’ve had some time off from MN because I’ve been busy with work, which has probably helped the first few days of my cycle go more quickly. CD 11 for me so will start taking OPKs today and hoping I ovulate on CD 13 or 14 like I have done before. Am going to DTD every day to cover all bases!

How is everyone else?

@Flopsy88 @Lowkeyloopy I got my period girls 😢 while I was out with friends and I’d slyly ordered G&Ts without the G. Then decided to get drunk and cry 😂 hope you’re both okay. ❤️ I just feel so sorry for myself and probably gonna cry all day.

@CMcA21Oh hunny, I’m so so sorry. That’s so cruel of AF to make you wait and get your hopes up like that. TTC is such an emotional rollercoaster. Definitely get your crying out, and maybe make yourself a G&T with the G today (!). But then focus on the positives - your body is in good working order post MC and it will happen for you when it is meant to. Maybe get some treats for yourself - splurge on something online - clothes or skincare perhaps. Just be super kind to yourself and remember it will get better and your fresh start is just around the corner and things can change so quickly! Less than a year from today you could stumble across this thread while feeding your newborn baby and smile to yourself about how far you’ve come!

@CMcA21 Oh love, I'm so so sorry. I was certain this was your month! 😥 I'm not surprised you're so upset. Take good care of yourself today and hopefully tomorrow you'll feel more positive and ready for a new cycle and a fresh start ❤

@Lowkeyloopy Nice to hear from you again! I hope you've had a good week. It's great it's passed quickly for you, time seems to go so slowly when TTC. It sounds like you're in a good place and you're ready to go with dtd! Have you done anything differently this month? I'm going to start having a glass of grapefruit juice every day as well as my green smoothie (which I am loving btw!! 🙂)

AF showed up for me today too. Two days early which isn't so bad. It was my first full cycle since the miscarriage so it's a relief to know that I'm ovulating again and that my luteal phase is long enough, even though it's been a bit more irregular than before the mc. I was feeling a bit down because we've now been TTC for 6 months, but actually I was pregnant/miscarrying for half of that time so I've really only had 3 full cycles and conceived on one of them. So that seems fair if there's only a 1/3 chance of conceiving each month anyway, even if you dtd at exactly the right time. I'm going to cheer myself up by splashing out on a new running watch which definitely be worth it if I was pregnant.

I really hope we all have some luck soon. This WILL happen for us!!

@Lowkeyloopy @Flopsy88 thanks girls for your kind words. I’m okay just gonna have a few treats today and then be super super healthy from tomorrow ❤️ And going to order some OPKs as I wasn’t checking that just checking BBT but I kind of gave up with it when it was making me stressed so I didn’t know my ovulation date. So I suppose that might mean we just had the wrong fertile window to DTD in so I’m thinking it could be better next month.

Defo gonna do that thing I’ve seen on here where you promise yourself a gift for your period.

Flopsy - glad your body is back in working order ❤️ The first period was a relief for me.

Positive thoughts girls and we will all hopefully get our BFP soon 🤞🏻

So sorry to hear that AF arrived @CMcA21 and @Flopsy88. Hope you're both spoiling yourselves.

It's crazy that as teenagers we get taught that if you have sex you WILL get pregnant- who knew it was this difficult? This thread is really helpful, but it also highlights how many of us struggle to get a BFP doesn't it 🙁. Hopefully it's our month this month!! I'm Cd14 today, so hoping I'll get my peak any time now. I've started to use OPK twice a day. I got a bit of a drop in temp this morning.

Thanks @ItsMeantToBe You're so right! They made it sound so easy. I also used to think that getting pregnant=having a baby, but since having the mc and reading other people's stories it feels like conceiving is just the first of many hurdles

Aw @CMcA21 I'm so sorry that's gutting for you, with your symptoms I definitely thought you were 😭 I think the same is happening to me this cycle, my rhr has shot up like it did in jan with my BFP and it's currently 75 which it's only ever been when pregnant. But I also just have a feeling I'm not and it's playing a cruel trick. I've had a super stressful week of work, was working on 16 hour days and only slept 2 hours one night to get up and work so have also eaten crap so I think the rhr is more likely stress/lack of sleep/bad eating 😭

Hi everyone, I’ve taken some time away from mumsnet, have been crazy busy at work and just needed a breather.

@Flopsy88 @CMcA21 so sorry to hear about AF for you both this cycle, fingers crossed for a Feb baba 🤞!

No real updates from me, I’m pretty unhappy in my job atm, bit under appreciated and over qualified, but I have been putting off applying for new positions in the off chance I’m pregnant for the last 2 months.

I finally bit the bullet on Friday and applied for a few dream jobs! So fingers crossed that gives me something other than TTC to focus on.

I’d rather be happy going back to a job I love after maternity than be entitled to Maternity pay at this stage!!

@Aila1994 good for you I think you have to go for it and don't put your life on hold. I also start new job this week I thought same as you I hated old job so much I didn't even care about mat pay xx

Yes absolutely@Flopsy88 !! I wish I could be that naive now. When I do get pregnant I think I'll be constantly waiting for something bad to happen.

@Aila1994 sorry you're having a tough time at work. Definitely apply for other jobs. You would have a good 7/8 months there before mat leave. I'm not happy in my job either but it's not stressful and I get to WFH so I'm sticking at it for now, to keep my anxiety down. @justwant2beamum good look in your new job!

I've had another close friend announce her pregnancy this week. We would have been due within a week of each other. I could hardly bring myself to be happy for her....which has made me feel so guilty!

@Aila1994 Exciting times on the job front! You’ve got to have something positive to work towards other than TTC. As much as having a baby is this massive thing, we can’t put the rest of our lives on hold for it. Keep us posted!

@ItsMeantToBe Any sign of your peak yet? Fingers crossed for the 2WW. I know what you mean about friends’ pregnancies.. I have one friend who didn’t even realise she was pregnant until around 6 weeks because she was “trying but not trying”. It’s hard not to feel bitter! Just got to remember a successful pregnancy could be just around the corner for all of us - and those few months “delay” won’t make the slightest bit of difference in the long run.

@justwant2beamum Good luck with the new job! What stage are you at cycle wise now? I lose track!

Hope you’re doing ok @Flopsy88 and @CMcA21 - hopefully nearing the end of AF and feeling positive about a new cycle?

Confusing one for me today. CD13 and my temp dipped yesterday and then rose today - about 0.3 Celsius, so I thought maybe that was my ovulation temp rise, except I hadn’t got a peak OPK yet, and my OPKs are getting darker today.. looks like I may be on track for a peak tonight. Never heard of LH peaking after ovulation 🤦🏻‍♀️ Will have to see what happens with temp in the next few days. Have been DTD the last few nights just to cover all bases but we’ll run out of stamina soon!

Thanks girls for all your kind words.

Been off MN since Sunday because I am applying for a job internally at work, a promotion. So everyone cross your fingers for me please.

@Lowkeyloopy I’m feeling more positive but also a bit annoyed. My cycles pre MC were 28 days and now it’s looking like they’re more 33 days... I know it’s not a big difference but I guess it means that I need to start spotting my signs now a bit later. So I’m not surprised I’m not PG as we were DTD 5 days too early 😂😂

That’s strange about your temps but I guess it’s positive that you’ve had a dip and getting darker OPKs?

Hope you’re all ok girls x

@Lowkeyloopy I'm on CD16 today but confused about whether I had my peak yesterday or not? My OVK was strong yesterday and weaker today but Premom is still saying low. I'm going to do another one this evening. I've been doing the last of my digital Clearblue OVK for the past 5 days or so too and I've got a flashing smiley since CD13. The BBT just confuses me, don't really know what I'm looking for.

You're right about the delay not making a difference. I'm just looking forward to not POAS every day 😂.

Hope you get your peak tonight! As I said I don't really understand BBT but I guess the slightest thing can make it dip/rise. If you've DTD lots I'm sure you'll catch it.

@ItsMeantToBe Hmm, tricky..! I think I read somewhere that Premom takes a while to “learn” what low, high and peak are for you, as everyone’s ratios are different. So maybe 1.58pm on CD 15 yesterday was your peak. That might be consistent with the dip in your BBT today - the pre-ovulation dip! Maybe keep testing just in case and also see if your BBT spikes!

@CMcA21 Good luck! Very exciting. That is frustrating about the cycle length but hopefully they’ll settle down soon. Hopefully OPKs will help you target the fertile window more easily this month! Maybe start them on CD 11 (which I think is the day to start for a 28 day cycle) and see how you go!

It's so confusing isn't it! I've tested again and it's maybe a bit fainter than earlier today, so it's looking like yesterday was my peak, maybe. I don't know why I haven't had a static smiley on my digital CB OVK. I will keep testing and see what happens. Any sign of your peak @Lowkeyloopy ?

DH is pissing me off today so I cba DTD 🙄. He hasn't done much wrong, so maybe I'm just being hormonal.

Good luck @CMcA21. Fingers are crossed for you. My cycles have always been 28 days too but last month it was 31 days and it's looking like this month will be a long one too. Frustrating isn't it.

**“ DH is pissing me off today so I cba DTD 🙄”

This really made me laugh @ItsMeantToBe ! Hope the poor guy managed to stop annoying you, haha.

I had a spanner in the works yesterday in the form of a possible UTI... TMI sorry but all that DTD and I’ve been deliberately not jumping up to pee straight afterwards (even though I know doctors / the Internet say it doesn’t make a difference if you lie there afterwards). I should’ve known better - I always get a UTI if I don’t pee after DTD. I’m hoping I caught it before I it settled in - drank loads of water and it feels a bit better today. But the upshot is that I was still getting “low” on my tests yesterday possibly because pee was too diluted.. and I got up to go to the loo at 3am which likely threw off the temp I got at 6.30am (which I would otherwise say is high enough to suggest ovulation..).

Going to try not to obsess interpreting the data and just DTD once more later today and hope that covers it...!

How are you feeling today @Lowkeyloopy ?

Where's everyone up to in their cycle now? I'm still not sure exactly when I ovulated, my charts are all over the place. I'm guessing i'm 2DPO but who knows!

Hi @ItsMeantToBe, fortunately feeling much better today thanks! Got antibiotics last yesterday and immediately started feeling better. Had a chat with the doc who said utis are common when ttc because of the increase in DTD and no-one wanting to jump up to pee afterwards! I told her I was kicking myself because I had read it doesn’t make a difference but ignored the science. Lesson learned!

Bit confused about when I ovulated too. I seem to have got my temp spike before a possible peak! Nothing was actually peak because I was downing pints of water for the UTI but I still got a line that looked like it was trying to peak! So based on temp / OPK I could be 1 DPO.. or 2.. or 3..! Let’s say 2 for ease!

Not stressed about it though because we DTD every day CD 10-14 and my temp spiked CD 13. No guarantees but we’ve given ourselves the best shot I guess and what will be will be..

Morning ladies! How is everyone?

@Lowkeyloopy Sorry to hear about your UTI, they are horrible! It makes sense that they're common when TTC. Well done for managing to DTD whilst feeling rough! It sounds like you've done everything you can this month

@ItsMeantToBe How are you feeling? Any symptoms? Are you planning to test early or wait for AF to be late?

How are the job applications going @CMcA21 and @Aila1994 ?

I'm on CD6 so will start using OPKs in a couple of days. I'm hoping my cycle goes back to normal because ovulating late really stressed me out last month. I've had a really shitty week and I'm feeling super anxious but actually thinking about TTC again, tracking everything and the healthy eating etc is really helpful and a good distraction.

I hope you've all got nice plans for the weekend. I wish it would stop raining, it's so depressing!