TTC first baby (dc1) after MC

[justwant2beamum]

Hello, I know there are similar threads for TTC after miscarriage/loss, but I thought it would be good to have a thread for those trying for their first baby. Personally, I know a few friends who've sadly had MC but they were all pregnancy number 2 having already had a healthy baby on first pregnancy. All 3 are now pregnant again which gives me hope but I can't help but be stressed/worry if I will ever have a healthy pregnancy and be able to carry a baby to full term. So I feel like I'm in a slightly different position to those TTC after loss who already have babies. I hope that isn't insensitive. Hopefully there are others TTC their first and we can support eachother.

My story is 27yo, came off pill sept 2020. Pregnant January 2021, had a scan at 7 weeks, dated 7+1 and saw a HB. Had a scan at 9+4 and baby hadn't grown and no HB so MMC. Had surgical management so ERPC on 5th March. I have just finished bleeding earlier this week snd trying straight away before first period. 🤞🏻

I tested this morning and it was negative I felt so sick yesterday and this morning that I was certain it would be positive.

@Lynne425 and @MrsF111 I am thinking of you!

I am 3 dpo and feeling all over the place. I don't know if it is just the stress, or the super long follicular phase that messed up my body - I am having small cramps and some nausea since the day of (supposed) ovulation, so obviously it can't mean anything in terms of pregnancy or AF...so it is just confusing. my bbt is a little bit higher but not so much higher as it has been previously after ovulation, so I don't know what to think. And the time is passing soooo slow! I am trying to find other things to do but I am a bit lonely these days so it is very difficult! I just realised it is May already, almost half year gone and I have concluded nothing with my life. Ughhh

best of luck with everything ladies!

It is difficult ladies I have been really struggling some weeks, as you said @EsseKey , half of the year has now gone and I learnt of my mmc on New Year’s Eve
It’s difficult to feel optimistic especially seeing other people go through pregnancies so care-free and almost certain it will all be fine, whereas I can’t imagine ever feeling like that about pregnancy
But I’m trying to think of every cycle as a period of my body getting back to normal and recovering, and hopefully getting in optimal condition for baby! No one here is ever alone Sending love to everyone and praying for us all to be blessed xx

@Notabs thats exactly how i feel too, I jsut cant imagine seeing a positive result and feeling positive that means i will have a baby at the end of it, its so sad that it has taken that from us.

@MrsF111 snap - I got a BFN this morning too!! 🤞🏻 our next cycle is the one for us 💕

However it's the strangest thing - my very very light bleeding is still there when I go to the toilet but honestly the last 3 days my pads been clean 🤷🏻‍♀️ don't know whether to class it as my period or not??

If it is implantation bleeding (honestly don't think it is tho) would you get a BFP or do you need to wait a few days to test again?!

When I tested on 1st Jan it was like 10dpo I got my first faint positive!!
I'm well passed that now at 14dpo so surely if it was it would showing something by now.

I'm just gonna assume I've had the lightest period ever and already on Day 4 xx

@Notabs thanks for your words.
As you say the hardest part is seeing other people getting through their pregnancies with no issues whatsoever, while we have been robbed of this opportunity. Seems so unfair!

On top of that, I used to travel a lot so I always had something to look forward to, which I don't have now because of the pandemic and travel restrictions! All my family and most friends are not in the UK, I don't go to work in the office, where I used to have most of my social connections and activities - so I feel quite lonely and have been focusing all my energies into this pregnancy thing! It was ok until I was pregnant, I could plan things ahead for the baby and stuff like that, now it's just useless waiting and letting weeks passing by...for something that might not even happen!

@Lynne425, did you do any opk and know "exactly" when you might have ovulated? I you don't have your period in the next week or so, I would test again just to make sure...

@EsseKey - No to be honest I just kind of took this month as it came as I didn't really know what my body was doing after the surgery etc.

I just assumed I maybe ovulated at around day 14!!

I'm gonna go back to opk testing this month tho so I can at least try and time it right 🤞🏻🤞🏻 xx

@Lynne425 you might have ovulated later than day 14, I would test again in a couple of days!
I used to have my LH peak around day 15-16 before mc, this time it was day 21... so everything is basically postponed by 1 week! and I don't think this is so uncommon after mc...

@Lynne425 you definitely could have ovulated later, my cycles are 38 days so I don’t ovulate until day 24 rather than 14! Or you could have just had a light bleed, with my chemical/mmc I had the lightest bleed a couple of days after my BFP, so light I though it was spotting but actually it was my real bleed, our bodies are so strange. I would test again in a week maybe?

Thanks Ladies I'll keep waiting see if/what comes and test again next week if nothing more happens xx

Still no period, still a negative test jsut want one of the other so I know where I stand, this cycle is now 40 days long!

How is everyone else getting on?

Hey @MrsF111, this must be exhausting for you!!! I'm so sorry...I hope the situation will evolve soon, one way or another (but I hope in the most positive outcome for you)!

I am 5dpo now, so not much to share in any way....just need to let the time pass by! I am still not feeling great at moments, little cramps and nausea but it has been like that for a while so I am not even thinking of spotting potential super early pregnancy symptoms...if anything I am thinking that I can't be pregnant because my body has been dealing with something else lately... I don't know!

If nothing changes I am planning to test on the 22nd...quite a long way to go still!

Hey @MrsF111 how are you doing!? Did AF show up or are you still on the waiting game??

I'm def out as my bleed lasted a week but was the strangest ever my pads were all dry but was bleeding when I wiped!!

Bought ovulation strips so decided to try those this time round to see if I actually ovulate??

If AF is like that again next time I'll try get a GP appointment as it was soo strange xx

Hi @Lynne425 I’m still waiting! Going to test again on Friday if AF still hasn’t shown up. No idea if my body is just totally messed up with cycles now

I’m considering getting the ovulation sticks, let me know how you get on with them!

Our bodies are so strange aren’t they, my chemical was like that, I thought it was implantation bleeding as it was so light, nothing in the pads just on wiping. Over in 24 hours. Why isn’t it simple?!

Hi Ladies...I see everyone's cycles are messed up!! not nice but it's somehow comforting to know that we are in the same boat...

I hope you will find the ovulation sticks helpful! I have been using them for a while now (at one point I was using 3 brands at the same time ahahha), to me they are totally worth it, they gave me a little bit of confidence in the fact that my body is actually doing something...

I am now 8dpo and so anxious for the time to pass by so that I can finally find out if I am pregnant or not...not feeling optimistic tbh, and I don't think I will ever feel optimistic again about pregnancy stuff, even if I get a bpf

Sorry I want to make this other post to tell this story to someone that will understand my feelings...

Last week I talked to a friend, she was the only one that knew I was pregnant at the time. I told her that finally I got my positive on the opk, so I was excited and happy that my body was doing something right after the mc...she was extremely surprised because she never heard of ovulation strips before... it's not her fault but it made me feel embarassed, as if I was acting crazy or something like that...
I mean yes I am a bit obsessed with this pregnancy thing, and to be honest I have been tracking my periods well before starting ttc...and now that I was pregnant and miscarried I am paying even more attention to that, but isn't it normal wanting to know what is going on in my body, when ttc?

She has been very lucky because she got pregnant twice without even trying, and has 2 beautiful healthy girls now, so I get why she might not have come across ovulation kits or other ttc issues, but still.... why is it making me feel weird?

maybe I am just jealous....and I feel a bit ashamed of that. She went through her pregnancies completely careless, actually she felt so good with her bpfs that she told her family and friends immediately, not even thinking that a bpf does not necessarily mean that you will have a baby 9 months later... it makes everything just feel very unfair

sorry for the post...I needed to share my thoughts with someone

You’re not being weird at all @EsseKey ! I can’t even imagine not using them now as they are sooo helpful and a great tool for assisting in both pregnancy and period tracking. I only wish I had found out about them sooner! She probably just didn’t know anything about them, I didn’t either until following my MC.

I completely relate to how you feel about how different our journeys will be/feel to other people ttc or who fall pregnant accidentally. It is really REALLY difficult, it’s painful and honestly heart wrenching at times, but we will eventually have our rainbow babies 🌈 it is an unfair journey though Thinking of you all

thanks for you words @Notabs

Sending you hugs @EsseKey. Can completely relate to how you are feeling, it really sucks. I think we are too hard on ourselves though - I feel like i'm failing because ive been trying for a year but i would NEVER think that about anyone else if they had MC or had been trying for so long, I think we are our own harshest critics. My sister in law had some words of wisdom which really helped me, she tried for 5 years with hers and now has two children and she says if she could go back and tell her younger self one thing it would be to reassure her she would have her babies and family and to try and not stress herself so much and worry about it (harder said that done as we all know) but it really resonated with me, she had so long of watching her friends get pregnant and have what she wanted and then it finally happened for her.

that's lovely to hear about your sister in law's story, thanks @MrsF111

yes I am sure that once we get our babies all these worries will go away (we will ave others, but that's just mommy life as I understand ;) ), but still it is so hard right now...
I have a similar feeling about being left out of the "mums" group among my friends...while I am sure that I will never think anything less of them if they didn't have kids, I still kind of feel 'judged' for not being able to join them with my own baby at the same time (but I know they don't judge me!)... I know it's silly, everyone's path is different but you just can't help some times...

@EsseKey yeah its so difficult, I try and stay positive but sometimes there is really nothing for it but to get some chocolate, watch some crappy tv and feel sorry for ourselves. I think it really helps to just acknowledge our feelings, I dont think you are being silly, this is a really hard path to be on and incredibly unfair. Im happy for my friends but also so sad and frustrated for myself (and for everyone in this position)

Hi ladies.
I had an MC last year and am currently pregnant again, entering my 5th week, so very early days and am quite anxious because of last year's MC... Am doing yoga and meditate to manage my stress but it isn't easy. Tomorrow I go in for blood work and an early scan that the doctor recommended as I had an MC last year. I doubt I will see anything this early, but already to see the bloodwork might reassure me... Sending all my heartfelt wishes to all of you: there are many of us, but I am sure we will all get what we wish for !

@KellyJonesSoubrette congrats for the new pregnancy, I think it is normal to be anxious but you got through the first step so this is a huge positive already!! I hope everything will look good on the scan and blood tests!
If you don't mind, may I ask you if there is a particular reason why your doctor prescribed you the blood tests and early scan? you don't need to share the reason, I was just curious if this is a special circumstance or not? I think my gp would not agree to do any early test unless I had 3 mc... (feel free not to answer if this is too personal!)

@Gr4c3liz like you, I have just kept taking my pregnancy supplements, nothing special! Exciting times when the opk shows positives...fingers crossed this goes well!

@EsseKey
She prescribed an early scan because I had a mc last year - I am 31 and have suspected PCOS so maybe that’s also why?
Scan was good, I am very early on though so not much to see haha