TTC first baby (dc1) after MC

[justwant2beamum]

Hello, I know there are similar threads for TTC after miscarriage/loss, but I thought it would be good to have a thread for those trying for their first baby. Personally, I know a few friends who've sadly had MC but they were all pregnancy number 2 having already had a healthy baby on first pregnancy. All 3 are now pregnant again which gives me hope but I can't help but be stressed/worry if I will ever have a healthy pregnancy and be able to carry a baby to full term. So I feel like I'm in a slightly different position to those TTC after loss who already have babies. I hope that isn't insensitive. Hopefully there are others TTC their first and we can support eachother.

My story is 27yo, came off pill sept 2020. Pregnant January 2021, had a scan at 7 weeks, dated 7+1 and saw a HB. Had a scan at 9+4 and baby hadn't grown and no HB so MMC. Had surgical management so ERPC on 5th March. I have just finished bleeding earlier this week snd trying straight away before first period. 🤞🏻

Hi! Sorry I missed your post @justwant2beamum, my period came late at night on the 26th! Still regular cycles so some positive to take away I guess but still so devastating, our 2nd cycle back trying after the loss and I’ve lost all motivation already. 😅

Also my partner tested positive for Covid on Monday and I have it too 🤒 definitely not ideal.

Welcome to everyone else that’s joined & I’m so sorry to hear about your losses 💐

Anxious Turtle Im so sorry about two back to back. That’s awful Personally I waited a month because I wanted to give my lining a chance to recover - and I drank pomegranate juice as had read it measurably thickened the linings of women going through IVF. Don’t know if it will help, but it made me feel better in terms of having tried to get my body healthier again.
Also I took soy isoflavones this month, because I wasn’t having strong ovulation, it was later than before, and my cycle was shorter- so far it brought my ovulation forward by more than a week, and the opks clearly picked it up. So might be worth a go if your cycles haven’t come back properly x

Id like to join.

31yo, came off pill March 2020. Huge irregular cycles (141 days longest one). Pregnant Sept 2020, had a scan at 10 weeks, looking great. 12 week scan showed MMC with fetal death at 11weeks. ERPC at end of November. Cycles are still nonsense long.

Awaiting test results for APS (because fetal death was so late). Hopefully results back next week then can TTC again.

@AnxiousTurtle3
Thank you for your response. It s so very kind of you!

Hi everyone

Sorry for all of your losses. I found out last week on my birthday that I was having a miscarriage and it was so awful. Hoping to try again once I've had a natural period.

Does anyone know how long you bleed for on average? I just want the bleeding to be over now as it will feel like closure and a fresh start. Felt like I had pregnancy anxiety before the MC but can't imagine how bad it will be if we get pregnant again.

Hopefully we will all get there soon ❤️

@bages1977 @TheDaydreamBelievers sorry for your losses and welcome.

Bages - I had an ERPC and bled for about 10-12 days. Think it varies and anything up to about 2 weeks is normal. I was told by hospital bleeding of up to 2 weeks post ERPC was normal x

@bages1977 I was told no more than 3 weeks x

@TheDaydreamBelievers sorry for your loss hopefully you get some answers from the test! I was also having ridiculous cycles and it really does make things so much more annoying to track doesn’t it
@bages1977 Sorry for your loss I kept bleeding even a tiny bit up until my AF and that seemed to tmi clear my body out

Btw guys I’m completely thrown now, what day do you start doing OPKs? I was doing them every day before my last AF but I’m running out and don’t want to waste them? I’m on day 12 of this cycle according to my app and finished AF about a week ago? X

Thanks for your replies. I think the bleeding has stopped today. I was only 6 weeks pregnant so I don't think it's taken too long.

Just wondering now when the best time is to try again. I've heard waiting one cycle is best so I'll probably do that.

Currently trying to get my body in a good condition for it, eating well, taking my vitamins and getting out and about for walks. Trying to stay positive about next time but does everyone else just feel like they have this weight looming over you that it's going to happen again?

@TheDaydreamBelievers so sorry for your loss That's interesting that you were offered the APS test because it was a late loss. Is that through the NHS or private? I also miscarried relatively late at 11 weeks but since it was "only" my second MC, the EPU said that I won't be offered any tests. I will ask my GP next week when I have an appointment though.

@AnxiousTurtle3 its through nhs. They specified that its cause the baby died that late - its unfortunately common to miscarry or find out about a MMC at 12 weeks but baby usually only grew approx 6-9 weeks. My healthboard is therefore offering testing for situation where baby died after 11 weeks. The nurse said other healthboards still dont offer it until after 3 losses, sadly.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I see, thanks for your response. I don't actually know when my baby stopped growing because I miscarried before they scanned me, but yes I suspect it was probably earlier than you. Hope the test gives you some answers!

Hi ladies! I’m trying from baby number one, I’ve been trying a year now. I get pregnant quickly but have had two mc, both missed ones so have spent 6 months of the last year pregnant on total, first mmc had to take medical management around the 12 week mark and the second I got to the 12 week scan with no bleeding other that a little spotting at 4 weeks and was told I had had a chemical pregnancy but had absolutely no idea as my period had t come back and I still felt pregnant. Really been suffering with it and feeling down as we come to the year mark from deciding ttc. My period finally came back today. I have 38 day cycles and on my last scan was told I have polycystic ovaries but haven’t had the blood tests for PCOS however I have decided to act as if I do and have given up dairy and really cleaned up my diet, taking some supplements and trying to not stress! It’s at least helping me feel like I’m doing something. Sorry this has turned into an essay!! Nice to meet you all, sorry you are all in the same boat xxx

@bages1977 so sorry for your loss. After mine the nurse at the EPU told me it can help to wait for a proper 'cycle' to start again (mostly for dating purposes), but there was no harm in trying in the meantime. I didn't even ovulate before I got my period though.

I also feel that, it's a really weird feeling. I'm scared to get pregnant again, as much as I'm scared of not being pregnant again. I'm sure we will all get through it though ❤️

@MrsF111 sorry for your loss 💐 I can't imagine how hard it must be to have 2 MMC. It's been around a year since me and my partner started TTC and I feel the same as you. Feeling especially deflated this month & it's only our second month back TTC after our loss Xxx

@bages1977 and @danielleb97 I was so scared to get pregnant again last time, to the point of having to go to the loo at work because I would start crying if I thought about going through another MC. It’s such an awful feeling and it’s so frustrating that it steals the excitement of pregnancy from us. This time around I’m feeling less scared, just incredibly impatient!

Totally get you all. I'm just desperate to be pregnant but so scared I never will or will never manage to carry a healthy baby to full term 🙁 it's so unfair that MC steals a happy pregnancy away from us. Hopefully lots of BFPs on here this month xx

@danielleb97 it is so scary isn't it. Praying we all get there in the end. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody. My partner seems positive but I think men seem to accept it easier than women. I think that's partially because it has not happened in their bodies. I'm just trying to stay positive for him atm.

@MrsF111 glad it's not just me. I think from people I have spoken to around me, MC happens more often than we think but because it's rarely talked about, when it does happen it makes you feel like there's something wrong with your body.

Wishing everyone on here all the luck in the world for our future rainbow babies! 🌈❤️

@justwant2beamum you have worded that so well. It does feel like it robs you of a happy pregnancy! A family member did say to me though that after having a MC seeing your baby for the first time will be even more special than ever and I like to think about that when I get down about it

@bages1977 yeah exactly that, it feels so lonely when it happens to you. I’m noticing more “influencers” talking about it on Instagram but not sure if that is just because I’m more aware of it/Instagram algorithm working but I think it’s a good thing. The more awareness the better

Hi ladies, can I join please?

I’m so sorry to everyone on this thread, I hope we all get our rainbow babies very soon 🌈

I had a miscarriage on 27th Feb after going to a scan that very morning at 7+1 and seeing the heartbeat ❤️ So to miscarry that evening at home was incredibly difficult to wrap my head around it.

I’m already feel emotional today as today should have been my 12 week scan. I know that seeing pregnancy announcements around this time and watching people tell their due dates for when I should have been due will be difficult for me. But I’m trying to be positive.

I’m so glad we all have each other for support through this time. It really does make you feel less alone.

I’ve got a flashing smiley this morning 😊 so baby dance is on the cards tonight 😂

Hi @acupofteamakeseverythingbetter. That sounds so awful I’m sorry. It really is a kicker seeing all the announcements and then getting closer to a due date and thinking of the milestones. I always find I feel better after a good cry so I just go with it whenever I’m feeling sad, take myself off, cry and complain about how unfair life is and usually it helps me feel better

Hi all!
I have been following another threat about ttc after mc, but I just found this one and I like that we are all ttc first baby after mc! I mean I don't like it, but we are all in the same boat and it is a bit comforting so I hope you don't mind me joining in.

My story (skip if boring ):
I am 31 yo and I started my ttc journey a bit frustrated because I couldn't get my boyfriend understand that even if we were ok with having first baby in our early 30s, there are so many things that could go wrong that we shouldn't have waited that long to start trying...
Like all men he was convinced it was enough just stop using protections et voila' we would have had a baby after 9 months .
I got pregnant in january 2021 after 2-3 cycles (he says the first time we tried didn't count, don't ask me why!), so I was happy and he was all cocky and saying "I told you so, it didn't take that long!". Unfortunately when we went for an early scan at 8+5, they saw a 6wk embryo with faint heartbeat. I knew from the moment she put the probe on my belly that it was not looking great. They told us I was almost 100% going to miscarry soon, so I began phoning doctors and hospitals and whoever I could think of to try and have this miscarriage going as soon as possible. Unfortunately they all said that as long as there is a heartbeat they can't do anything….even going for a voluntary pregnancy interruption (which felt cruel but the only option remaining) seemed to be so difficult and I don't understand why. So I had to wait more than 2 weeks, I was feeling good physically but with a baby/non baby inside me, just waiting for it to stop living. That was cruel and frustrating and horrible.

The mc itself has been the most painful thing I had in my life. When I was having the heavy contractions I was thinking f**k it I don't want to be pregnant ever again...all gone within a few hours, and I stopped bleeding/spotting after few days.
Now it is exactly 3 weeks after I had the mc, and 1 week after I got my first negative pregnancy test. I am secretly hoping to get pregnant again before next AF but I know this is very unlikely, and I am doing opk just to check whether something is moving with my hormones…I would be happy just to have AF soon…
So far I only got negatives opk a part for 1 morning when I saw EWCM and something like a borderline positive - everything was gone within a few hours so I am not even sure that really happened

I found the strenght to tell a few people about it (although not my mum...she doesn't even know I was pregnant), and everyone either went through it themselves or know someone who had a mc. So I am thinking wtf why is everyone not talking about it? I mean yes you can find online and social media stuff about this, you know it's very common etc, but I never ever talked about anything like this with my friends. And we talked pretty much about everything. I know it's a sensitive topic but at the same time it needs to be normalised in my opinion, it will make everything easier to deal with when it actually happens to you. do you agree?

Sending you ladies all my thoughts, it's sad but it's comforting to know that we are not alone. Sorry for the long post!

@EsseKey

Hi all! I have been following another threat about ttc after mc, but I just found this one and I like that we are all ttc first baby after mc! I mean I don't like it, but we are all in the same boat and it is a bit comforting so I hope you don't mind me joining in.

My story (skip if boring ):
I am 31 yo and I started my ttc journey a bit frustrated because I couldn't get my boyfriend understand that even if we were ok with having first baby in our early 30s, there are so many things that could go wrong that we shouldn't have waited that long to start trying...
Like all men he was convinced it was enough just stop using protections et voila' we would have had a baby after 9 months .
I got pregnant in january 2021 after 2-3 cycles (he says the first time we tried didn't count, don't ask me why!), so I was happy and he was all cocky and saying "I told you so, it didn't take that long!". Unfortunately when we went for an early scan at 8+5, they saw a 6wk embryo with faint heartbeat. I knew from the moment she put the probe on my belly that it was not looking great. They told us I was almost 100% going to miscarry soon, so I began phoning doctors and hospitals and whoever I could think of to try and have this miscarriage going as soon as possible. Unfortunately they all said that as long as there is a heartbeat they can't do anything….even going for a voluntary pregnancy interruption (which felt cruel but the only option remaining) seemed to be so difficult and I don't understand why. So I had to wait more than 2 weeks, I was feeling good physically but with a baby/non baby inside me, just waiting for it to stop living. That was cruel and frustrating and horrible.

The mc itself has been the most painful thing I had in my life. When I was having the heavy contractions I was thinking f**k it I don't want to be pregnant ever again...all gone within a few hours, and I stopped bleeding/spotting after few days.
Now it is exactly 3 weeks after I had the mc, and 1 week after I got my first negative pregnancy test. I am secretly hoping to get pregnant again before next AF but I know this is very unlikely, and I am doing opk just to check whether something is moving with my hormones…I would be happy just to have AF soon…
So far I only got negatives opk a part for 1 morning when I saw EWCM and something like a borderline positive - everything was gone within a few hours so I am not even sure that really happened

I found the strenght to tell a few people about it (although not my mum...she doesn't even know I was pregnant), and everyone either went through it themselves or know someone who had a mc. So I am thinking wtf why is everyone not talking about it? I mean yes you can find online and social media stuff about this, you know it's very common etc, but I never ever talked about anything like this with my friends. And we talked pretty much about everything. I know it's a sensitive topic but at the same time it needs to be normalised in my opinion, it will make everything easier to deal with when it actually happens to you. do you agree?

Sending you ladies all my thoughts, it's sad but it's comforting to know that we are not alone. Sorry for the long post!

I have been following another thread, not threat ahahah

@EsseKey I feel I'm in a similar situation to you age wise. I turned 32 on the day of my miscarriage (lovely birthday present) and me and my partner feel now that we was a bit naive about pregnancy and how long it could take.

I came off the pill mid January and got pregnant in early March. We felt so lucky to conceive so fast as we were only seeing each other at weekends and had only done the deed about 4 times! (moved in with mum to help her after an operation). We were so happy when we got the positive but unfortunately lost the baby at 6 weeks. It just floored us both.

I think I'm just terrified now to try again but also secretly want to get pregnant instantly! I think it's natural to feel that way. I think my partner is still a bit naive and I feel like I just put a downer on any discussion about it but I can't let myself get excited about pregnancy ever again.

I've found these discussions so helpful in terms of support but part of me keeps telling myself to delete this app as I can't help but read stories of so many recurring miscarriages and it just fills me with anxiety about trying again. I think the thought of lockdown ending too is getting me down as I feel everyone else is going back to normal yet I'm not drinking alcohol and watching what I'm eating...just feels like there's nothing to look forward too and it's lonely

Hopefully the next positives will come soon for us all and we can spread some joyful news instead!

@bages1977 oh I totally feel your pain. I am also scared of lockdown easing, I mean I would love to get around a bit more but at the same time I am kind of scared to meet my friends who recently had babies. The funny thing is that when I know that when I meet them I will be so happy and I love playing with the babies and hear all their mum stories...but when I am alone afterwards I am just full of sadness and resentment and all mixed up emotions! not nice...

I am lucky that my boyfriend is super keen to try again, probably much more than the first time - but I am also sure he doesn't 100% get the emotional rollercoaster I am going through, he keeps saying yes let's have sex and everything will be fine (he does it because it makes me laugh but after a while I am really frustrated that ughhh that's not enough for everything to be ok!).

Sorry to hear that you feel terrified about trying again...it happened to me while I was miscarrying, the pain was definitely too much and I was thinking that I didn't want to ever be pregnant again - but now I am 100% all in with ttc

I am really keeping my fingers super crossed for our bpf to show up again!