TTC first baby (dc1) after MC

[justwant2beamum]

Hello, I know there are similar threads for TTC after miscarriage/loss, but I thought it would be good to have a thread for those trying for their first baby. Personally, I know a few friends who've sadly had MC but they were all pregnancy number 2 having already had a healthy baby on first pregnancy. All 3 are now pregnant again which gives me hope but I can't help but be stressed/worry if I will ever have a healthy pregnancy and be able to carry a baby to full term. So I feel like I'm in a slightly different position to those TTC after loss who already have babies. I hope that isn't insensitive. Hopefully there are others TTC their first and we can support eachother.

My story is 27yo, came off pill sept 2020. Pregnant January 2021, had a scan at 7 weeks, dated 7+1 and saw a HB. Had a scan at 9+4 and baby hadn't grown and no HB so MMC. Had surgical management so ERPC on 5th March. I have just finished bleeding earlier this week snd trying straight away before first period. 🤞🏻

@danielleb97 oooh hoping for the best news for you!!🙏🙏 sad that you were in and out of hospital for so long but it’s good you are back ttc and hopefully AF doesn’t show
@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 I’m in the early ovulation boat too atm! I also don’t know if I dtd enough before I saw the positives! But hopeful! 🙏
@lucerito it’s nice to know none of us are alone 💜 I know what you mean, every time I think I’m doing better I remember that feeling of the scan and it gives me anxiety! I’m praying for us all that we don’t have to go through it again xx

@justwant2beamum, I completely understand how you feel. I feel like I was on the pill and had the implant in for so long, expecting it to be easy to conceive once we started trying, and it took us 9 months to conceive the first time. Praying we get our rainbows soon 🌈🤞🏼

I'm not sure what to do really, one of my apps predicted AF today (usually the more accurate one), and the other predicted it on Saturday... I think I have a bit of a phobia of pregnancy tests now! Scared to take one and see a negative. So I might leave it a couple more days to see what happens and then test.

@Notabs Thank you! ❤️ Trying not to get my hopes up too much, but everything after the loss has come like clockwork (first AF exactly 4 weeks after ERPC, then ovulated exactly 14 days after AF), so it's weird it's not following that pattern!

Pink turned to AF now, I’m out this month! At the same time I’m happy that I’m getting regular AFs again compared to pre-MC, hopefully they stay as it will be easier to track but disappointed to not have a baby arrive this year best of luck to everyone trying right now 🙏

I'm sorry to hear all the sad stories!
I will have my dating ultrasound tomorrow. Holding onto faith right.
I'm hoping I can share some good news

Hi All, I was hoping i could jump on and join the thread?
I came off the pill March 2020, to start TTC#1, took 6 months for my periods to sort themselves out (longest 6 months ever!). Found out Jan 2021 we were expecting, had a scan at 7+1 and heard the heartbeat, but when we went for our next scan at 11+2, but baby had stopped growing at 7+4. Was so heartbreaking that 3 days after our first scan, everything was all over and we had no idea.
I started medical management on 13th March, am still spotting, which keeps coming and going, but hoping it will stop soon. Very keen to start again as soon as we can, I plan to take a p.test Saturday so see if its still positive, I'm guessing it will be tho as it would only be 2 weeks since the MC started.
I'm very anxious about what will happen to my cycles, with it taking 6 months to regulate after the pill, i mentally cannot go through something like that again.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses, lets hope for our rainbows soon

@danielleb97 that's understandable about the pregnancy tests. I'm a POAS addict at the moment trying to make sure my HCG is negative and trying to look out for ovulation on opks so you're stronger willed than me to hold out!

I just keep finding myself down a hole of reading threads/looking for info on recurrent mc and possible testing etc. I'm trying to just hope it was just bad luck and chromosonal but I can't shake the thoughts then I worry about law of attraction/vibration and I'm putting negative thoughts to the universe so I'm trying to stop them. Ugh i never in a million years thought having a baby would be so hard!

@justwant2beamum I understand that! Because mine was a PUL, the EPU monitored the HCG levels with bloods until they went to 0 - definitely helped for my own peace of mind! I think they finally went to 0 around 16th Feb, so about 2.5 weeks after the ERPC. I also found that I tried taking OPKs while I still had HCG in my system, and I was getting positive OPKs - I've read before that they can sometimes pick up HCG and produce false positives, so after that, I stopped OPK testing and waited until my HCG hit 0. Not sure if it helps at all :)

I completely understand. I'm the same. We had the option to consent for any remains to have chromosomal testing (I think that's what it is, it was so long ago now!) and because we never even located a baby on the scans they wanted to do that, to try and give me a bit more closure. It's been about 8 weeks since my ERPC today though so god knows how much longer I'll be waiting for those results!

I'm also really feeling like AF is going to come at some point today 😔 means my cycles are staying regular because it's exactly 4 weeks since my last period but still depressing and feeling really deflated. TTC is so emotionally draining I just don't think I can endure it for months and months again 😓

@danielleb97 yeah I was the same with opks while still getting positive hcg so I waited until the pregnancy tests were nearly negative before starting opks but still getting blank opks.
That's good they are testing - I didn't get that option. I wish I had :( it's so unfair they just leave us wondering and torturing ourselves when they can test and help us.

Is this your first AF since your ERPC? Xx

Welcome @pickle2020 so sorry for your loss 💐 I feel your struggle about coming off the pill! I got my implant out in May 2019 (feels so long ago now) and never went back on contraception because we knew we wanted to start trying in 2020 anyway, and I didn't have a proper cycle until 6 months later!

My HCG was 0 around 2.5 weeks after medical management, everybody's different though and I think it can also depend on how high your HCG got to in the first place (mine only ever got into the 7300s)

@justwant2beamum It's weird how that happens, isn't it. I really struggle with OPKs. I drink a lot of water though so I think that's why I never get positives 😂 Yeah, I'm quite glad we got that option. I think it's because they never knew if the pregnancy was ectopic but my body miscarried it for me, and it just never fully passed? I know from reading they usually don't offer it until a recurrent m/c but it greatly depends on this hospital etc. as well. I know my consultant really pushed for it as well because he wanted to get closure for me if possible.

No, I had my ERPC on 29th Jan, then my first AF came on 26th Feb (4 weeks to the date & time after my ERPC). Nothings progressed yet today though, just mild cramping xx

Thank you @danielleb97 , I am so sorry for what you and everyone else here has had to go through too.
Have you been ttc straight away or did you wait for your first AF to arrive?

@danielleb97 that's good your cycles came straight back - I'm hoping I'll be the same. If it's my usual 28 days then I'll be due AF next weekend so I'm hoping I'm either pregnant or get AF on time so my cycles are back and I can try again ASAP.

Are you just crampy but no AF? I felt like AF was on her way before my BFP so assumed I was out cause I was crampy so you never know!! Crampy might not be af! 🤞🏻

@pickle2020 Thank you! I got my first AF 26th Feb, although we were trying before then I don't think I ovulated. Based on the OPKs & how long and painful it was when it did come. Some people will ovulate before first AF though so as long as you're both up to it no harm in trying!

@justwant2beamum Yeah I'm really grateful for it! I was worried it would throw things off with my cycle lengths etc., but doesn't seem to have so far.

Yeah it's really weird, usually AF always turns up early to mid-morning and it's just full-on with horrendous cramps the entire day, and then trails off. So it's really unusual for me to be having just mild cramping. I can't even remember if it was a symptom last time - I didn't even test until I was 5 days late! Although I put it down to the fact that I was due around Christmas time so very preoccupied 😂x

I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up, I don't even have a test in but the urge to test is definitely getting a bit stronger 🤔

Hi. I'll join too if that's ok?

So sorry for all your losses. It's the most heartbreaking thing.

Im 37. I got my first BFP on 27th November after a year of TTC. Found out at 7 week scan (22 December) I'd had a MMC, baby was measuring 7+4 so I must have ovulated early and the heartbeat must have stopped earlier that day. Still can't get my head around that. I had surgical management on the 29th December and haven't had a period since 😔

I feel like I'm in complete limbo while everyone else gets on with their life. My friend told me, very gently and compassionately that she's now TTC which has really set me back this week. I just don't feel like I can move on or look forward until AF arrives.

Omg @danielleb97 you have will power of steel!! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for you.

Welcome @MAS50 it's so hard isn't it. I told a couple of close friends I was pregnant when we had a successful 7 week scan, so now they obviously know about MC and both will be TTC soon and I know I sound like an awful person but I'll be so gutted if they get BFP before me... I know it's not a competition... but I can't help worry about it.

@danielleb97 any update?

How's everyone? I'm fed up, been doing opks since I stopped bleeding and no sign of ovulation. If I'm not going to ovulate then just want my period to hurry up so I can start again. I had 3 pregnancy announcements last night. I'm so fed up, it's so unfair 🙁 this is the one thing I have always wanted and I have 0 control over it.

@MAS50 and @justwant2beamum really sorry to hear, plus all of the sad stories on here. It's worrying isn't it though, because I get what you're saying about your mind jumping to the worst and thinking there might be something wrong. I'm thinking that now because its been a few months since and I haven't got pregnant again, and I think my cycles and hormones are still messed up.

No updates here, 5dpo, just plodding along really!

So I got AF today, so my first "real" period post ERPC which was 5th March so today was CD27 for me. Before mc I was 28/29 days so hopefully I'll go back to fairly normal. I didn't catch ovulation on opks post ERPC so I don't know if I did or not. I only stopped bleeding from ERPC on 17th which was 2 weeks ago. Hopefully I ovulate and get my normal cycle this month so I can get on with TTC. I had secretly hoped I'd get pregnant straight away with no period but oh well. Fingers crossed for this cycle 🤞🏻✨

Hi, I'm so sorry for everyone's losses here. Mind if I join too?

I had an MC at 6 weeks in December, then fell pregnant again in January, but sadly miscarried again 2 weeks ago at 11 weeks. Still getting a very faint line on the test and still spotting slightly.

I have PCOS so I always thought it might be challenging to get pregnant, but I never expected the miscarriages Feeling pretty down this week as my younger sister is due to have her baby tomorrow. Dont get me wrong I'm very happy for her, but it's hard.

Also, I can't decide whether to TTC again this month or wait till after my first AF. Do any of you ladies have any wisdom on this?

@AnxiousTurtle3 so sorry. Two losses is so unfair. I tried straight away before first AF but I got AF today so wasn't successful. There's mixed info on whether you should or not and people told different advice by different doctors.

@justwant2beamum I hope we can both catch the next cycle 🙏 I’m also feeling fed-up the past few days and I miss being pg - it’s just like something is missing now? Definitely hard seeing others in life getting pregnant so easily and so care-free!

@AnxiousTurtle3 two losses must be hard I think you should wait until there is no pg line at all on the test just for ease of tracking! But after that I think it should be okay and you may be lucky enough to catch your first ovulation x

@Notabs you've summed it up perfect for me, that's exactly how I feel. Like something is missing from me now that I'm not pregnant. It's just this aching hole, I'm longing for something I have no control over. It's so horrible. Yep seeing others have no issues and be so care free hurts like hell. Hopefully we'll all be growing our precious babies very soon 🤞🏻✨

Hi all,
I think I got on here by "mistake" because I am pregnant, but maybe I just happened to get on here to give you some hope.

After having a MMC in June last year and the D&C procedure done in July (2020), my body was so confused, I didn't bleed, I didn't get a period, I didn't feel pain. It was like my reproductive system had gone on a trip far away... I think I only got a regular period like 5 months later, and it became very regular as I had always been only by December.

I didn't even want to try and conceive, I was too afraid, plus this world seems a bit more crazy and scary than per usual.
But when my body went back to normal, my mind el started wanting to try again.

And then I got pregnant right away.

I know we are all different, but we all need time to heal, both physically and emotionally.
Try to be genuinely happy for others and believe that you will get that blessing too. And that even if you don't you will have a life filled with joy.
Be kind to yourselves.
Praying for you ladies,
Looking forward to hearing good reports!

(Had my first scan yesterday 🥺 8 weeks, strong heart beat)
Hope for that rainbow 🌈

@AnxiousTurtle3
Wow, so sad! You are too strong to be sharing your stories here 🥺 Two MCS back to back. I'm praying you will heal both physically and emotionally. I know sharing is a big part of it.
Was everything going ok in the second pregnancy and one day it wasn't? Or were there sings? You don't have to answer, of course! I guess I look for assurance too 😭🌈😍

@justwant2beamum and @Notabs thanks for your responses. I did another test this morning and no line!

@lucerito thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement! I didn't have any indication that anything was wrong until I started spotting at 11+2. But I didn't have an early scan and I miscarried at home before they scanned me at the EPU so I don't actually know when the baby stopped growing. Sorry if this is tmi but from what I saw I think the baby died a few weeks earlier, it was too small for 11 weeks. I think with you seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks your chances are very good now! I know it's hard but try not to worry!

Sorry @AnxiousTurtle3