Recent MC - New cycles & trying again

[Mellous]

Hi all,

A thread for the ladies from the recent MC/MMC group and for anybody else who wants to join us as we discuss getting our cycles back on track after MC and starting to TTC again x

@ams19
@abimix
@plantmummy87
@thehotelcalifornia
@pettylamby
@laurat94
@neady1980

@No1worrier I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. Sending you hugs...

Please ensure you take the time that you need to grieve. I hope you have a network of support around you and that your other half is looking after you during one of the most painful things in the world. I am so, so sorry.

I personally haven’t waited until my first period after my miscarriage, but I lost at 5 weeks (not so far into the pregnancy). I had a miscarriage in February and we did have sex a couple of times once my bleeding had long passed. My period is predicted today or tomorrow.

I think waiting for your af sounds like a good idea.

Sending all my love to you.

Please reach out to us on here. There is so much love, empathy and support around on mumsnet for you

Take care xx

@AMS19 do you have the link to the first thread you started about positive stories please as I can’t find it xxx

@DMT1982

We had heartbreaking news at our 20 week scan (I was 21 weeks) that our baby had abnormalities with her heart. We were sent to fetal medicine unit and they confirmed how bad it was. There was multiple defects. She was lucky to still be alive at that point and would 100% not make it to the full term. We had to make the heartbreaking decision to end our little ones pain and we will have to live with that pain in our hearts for the rest of our lives 💔. She was born on Thursday through L&D then I had to have a D&C I'm sure it is called after. We held her and cuddled her all day on Friday. Now I'm home, sore from childbirth and no baby 💔. I feel selfish for thinking of TTC again so soon but mentally I think it is the only thing that will help me.

I was only told 3 months to deal with things emotionally so not really sure about waiting physically. I will maybe call my GP on Monday and ask x

I know this doesn't exactly fall into the miscarriage category but struggling to find a thread that it does x

Morning @No1worrier, I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl. I hope you are getting the support you need and can recommend SANDS or SiMBA who are able to offer a lot of advice and support particularly in these very early days.
Our beautiful baby boy was born sleeping last July. We waited ttc until blood tests and PM results were back - partly because that’s what they suggested and partly because I was terrified of ever feeling this grief ever again. Once we had the all clear that everything was fine by god did I get on with it! I know all too well that feeling of desperation of wanting to be pregnant again- trying every trick in the book and old wives tail 🙈
What I’ve realised is my body needed time (probably more so did my head!). I tracked with opks etc but the first month we didn’t (December) we fell pregnant again and I think that was because I took away that stress - very sadly that pregnancy resulted in a MMC which our consultant has told us is in no way related to our stillborn son but unfortunately came down to the 25% statistic. I was so angry at my body for not even realising it had miscarried but I have come to realise my body was so determined to be pregnant that it wasn’t willing to let go (well that’s what I’ll tell myself!!) So we are back ttc again but this time I’m being so much kinder to myself- no pressure on bbt or opks, I’m back to acupuncture (which I find more so good for relaxation as well as the fertility benefits) and I’m finding ways to relax like going big walks. Fingers crossed this approach works for me! And you’ll find the best approach for you.
I recommend the worst girl gang podcast and Instagram page who discuss loss openly and honestly.
What will amaze you is the strength you possess- it may not seem like it now but one day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come and how your beautiful baby girl will be so proud of you.
Sending so much love xxx

Morning ladies

@No1worrier I am so so sorry! There are just no words. My mmc was at 9+5 and I was broken enough, I can't even begin to imagine. Please make sure you are getting lots of support, both from family and friends but also professional support. I know I struggled to deal with mine at the start, didn't cry for weeks, then had too much red wine about 6 weeks after it all happened and ugly cried for hours! We will all do our very best to support you. We have had lots of threads which I think would be good for you to look at.

As @DMT1982 this was the very first thread I set up which has lots of positive stories:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4113076-Positive-stories-after-a-MMC?pg=1

Even to this day I read it every week or so.

This was our miscarriage thread and there is a lady on there who also had a baby born sleeping at full term who you might find helpful to chat to:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome?msgid=105657260

There are in total 5 threads we've been talking on so hopefully lots of read when you feel ready. And of course, we will all do our best to support you on here.

If you have Instagram I would suggest following @themindfulgriefcoach as she also had a little boy born sleeping.

Anything else just shout. Sending you so much love xx

@No1worrier I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through its just awful. I only joined this group this week and have found it a comfort to hear other people's stories and somewhere safe to talk that won't make anyone feel awkward.

Personally for me I wanted to try straight away. I found out at a 10 week scan that it had stopped growing at 7 weeks in the end needing an MVA as my body didn't want to let go. Sometimes I feel I should have moved on from what happened now and it is easier but one of my friends just announced her pregnant with a 10 week scan and I couldn't help feeling so jealous as that's what I should have seen.

I had my period 7 weeks later and have been trying this month however I think i will ditch the opks if unsuccessful this month as we haven't enjoyed the 'timed' DTD and its just taken the fun out of it. Tbh they have stressed me out all cycle lol xx

@No1worrier gosh that’s absolutely heartbreaking 😢

I can see a lot of other ladies have replied which is great and I hope you can find some comfort and support from this group.

I don’t think you are selfish for thinking about trying to conceive again because that is the first thing we’ve all thought about, when can we try again. Those thoughts don’t come without worry thought as the anxiety of trying again is all consuming.

So after a D&C you do need to wait until at least your first period and a negative test to try again as that is what I was advised. You may find as well that because you were so far into your pregnancy that it takes quite a while for your HCG levels to fall so any future pregnancy tests you may think it’s a new pregnancy but is actually the residual HCG levels still going down.

I know a lot of the other ladies have advised support from certain charities and I agree with this as I personally found the miscarriage association very informative and helpful xxx

Hello @No1worrier, I’m so so sorry for the loss of your baby girl, my heart hugs yours. It’s really unfair and there are no words, but the comfort that you are not alone in your grief, we have collectively lost very much loved & wanted babies so can relate. And its between you and your OH when you try again, don't feel guilt for wanting to start straight away, everyone is different. For us we have had 2 MC in a row, so we waited for my first Period and are now CD12 (or so around there,I’m trying not to track too closely as it gives me anxiety).

We are a lovely supportive group so come on here when you need and someone will reply ❤️

@No1worrier I’m so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine what you’re going through but I do know talking to people who have been through similar on here really really helps, as knowing else quite understands.

I’m now CD 26 in my first cycle post mmc and I got a solid smiley on CD 17 so must have ov around 17/18 I guess.
I tested with a FRER yesterday and it was very negative but is that too early to allow for implantation etc?
Pre mmc my cycles were 28/29 days and my first period came 29 days post erpc.
I’m clutching at straws as I’m so desperate but I’m been feeling very moody, crampy so likely period due soon 😔
I do have a cold sore and flushed face though which have always been signs on all my 3 pregnancies so far!

Ps. Lloyds pharmacy has 2 pack frer for £8ish atm

@No1worrier oh my gosh, I feel utterly heartbroken reading your story. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I’ve had two MMCs but both in my first trimester so I can’t imagine the pain of having to go through what you’ve endured. I know the other girls have offered some great support suggestions so I just wanted to say you’re in the right place - there’s no wrong or right way to feel or know when to start trying again, it really is so personal and as one of the other girls said, we’ve pretty much covered every approach on this thread. We are all here for you xx

@No1worrier I read your other thread when you found out about your baby girl and my heart broke for you. I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through, I can’t imagine the pain. I had a mmc and surgery in January and can relate to feeling like being pregnant again will be the only thing that helps me move on from the heartbreak. I’m still trying but other ladies here have had their bfp since mc and this gives me hope. I hope our little group can offer you some support, we are all here for you xx

So sorry @No1worrier that's awful. Yes I feel the same the only thing I feel like will help is being pregnant again.

I'm so sorry @No1worrier it's so so awful I mc in jan first trimester and have been desperate to get pg again. My cycles still seem a bit all over the place. I used to be very regular b managed to miss my ovulation window last month. I'm on cd11 of my 3rd cycle and opks everyday - really don't want to miss another opportunity.

Does anyone have any other things they're trying like KJLM with acupuncture?

@cupcakesandglitter I use the femometer ones I have heard bad things about others especially the one step ones. Mind you I never really got dead positives (to the point where I was worried I wasn’t ovulation) - when I was actually pregnant and used one to test the theory and was a blazing positive 😂

@Sugarskulllover welcome, even if AF does come at least you know where you stand then me can get back on it xx

@No1worrier so sorry for your loss, can’t imagine what you must’ve gone through. This is a really supportive thread so hopefully will give you some much needed love 💕x

Not much to report my end- my FRER is nearly negative with only a very faint line which is good (never thought I’d be wanting to get a negative!) boobs are hurting so I assume my body is getting ready to do something!

Did anyone else just not feel themselves post MC? Emotionally I’m upset but I feel ok but physically I’m absolutely knackered. Thinking of getting my iron and thyroid checked x

@Brightspark12 I felt physically drained for a few weeks afterwards and then after each period for the a few days after it finished I had awful fatigue and headaches so assuming alp hormone related as I had iron and thyroid checked but maybe worth getting it checked for peace of mind. Also make sure you take decent vitamins if you are low in certain ones xxx

@DMT1982 god that makes me feel better, I feel like a zombie, really fatigued like you say. I started taking multivitamins and iron but they had vitamin A and it said don’t take if you’re trying to get pg. I had my bloods checked when I was about 7 weeks pregnant and everything was ok and I didn’t lose a huge amount of blood during my MC but you never know xxx

Hi ladies, so I’m either cycle day 9 or 11 depending on which app I go with 🙄🙄🙄 I noticed Clearblue had my peak two days earlier than Premom. I’ve been lurking reading all the comments and getting my hopes up for myself seeing positives and being so devastated for those getting negatives.
So yesterday I thought I’d try a FRER and I definitely had line eyes and convinced myself there was definitely a line- doing that silly holding it in different lights 😂. Tried an easy at home today and not even a hint of a line. So I decided to check my cervix 🙈 and it’s definitely lower than yesterday and not at its highest so I think it’s safe I’m out this month- I’ve found it to be the most accurate way for me and for some reason is less disappointing than seeing no line on a test.
I’m going to start up couch to 5k as I’ve never been a runner and want to embrace something new that hopefully I can obsess over rather than this ttc obsession!!🙈🙈

@KJLM post a pic!! FRER detect a much lower level of HCG I think I said 6 rather than the cheapy strips which detect 25! So you could be enough hcg for a FRER but not enough for a cheapie xx

@Brightspark12 I binned it in a huff last night! If AF doesn’t turn up to ruin the party I’ll try again on....Tuesday if I have the willpower!

@Sleepykitkat I'm trying a whole range of things, but mainly to get my cycle back to being good not necessarily get pregnant. I'm taking loads of supplements, drinking raspberry leaf tea in the first half, taking a high dose vitamin B6 in the second half, drinking grapefruit juice in the first half and pom in the second half, seed cycling, and having weekly acupuncture!

@kjlm got everything crossed!!

@SuzieDeLaTour did you test again?

@Brightspark12 I never suffered from fatigue or headaches pre miscarriage so I can only assume it’s hormones settling down. I also started to get hormonal spots back that I hadn’t had for years and had cystic acne years ago that I was medicated for by a dermatologist. He did say the only reason they would ever come back is a hormonal change such as pregnancy and so he was correct although with my little boy I never had them so the miscarriages must have really messed with my hormones.

If you had bloods @ 7 weeks and all was fine then I would maybe guess you’re ok and it really is just the impact of a miscarriage and it’s effects afterwards while your body settles down. I remember one lady saying on here that see it from your bodies point of view, one day you’re pregnant with a baby, the next you’re not so it can take a while for your body to catch up with itself.

The fatigue is nothing like I’ve ever experienced and the type where I literally just feel floored and that went on for a few days post period. Initially after the miscarriage before the D&C I felt shattered then after the D&C for a few weeks I just wasn’t myself, like you I couldn’t put my finger on it but it just have been down to hormones xxx

@DMT1982 Thanks so much- I am feeling a bit better now, I thought there was something wrong with me! Just bought some Ferroglobin iron so hopefully helps xxx