TTC after MC - Feb/March 2021 (Thread 18)

[bez91]

New thread ladies as the other is almost full.

Tagging everyone I can....

@Bellabubble
@Pancakes7
@TheDaydreamBelievers
@PumpkinEverything
@NatJ24
@NatNoo96
@ELMcg
@RichmondLady1981
@susiebluebell
@Garman
@bumptobean
@bubblybrit
@PrettyPinkPansies
@chloedancer897
@elsimo
@HereWeGoooo
@ttcrainbowbaby1
@Seasalt1984
@Strawberry08

Congrats to those with BFPs on the last thread there was a lot of you 🥳

I’m so sorry @MammaJ21. I’ve only had the one mc but was told that I could try again straightaway once the bleeding subsided. They usually only recommend waiting so it is easier to date the pregnancy. DH and I took a few months off TTC but that was for personal rather than medical reasons x

Sorry @MammaJ21, it's just utterly devastating.

Haha @bubblybrit , honestly me and OH have been arguing and had to DTD and I have actually told him "i'm only speaking to u because I need ur sperm" haha.

I actually found that once we could be blunt and say to each other that we couldn't be arsed with sex but we knew we had to it made things a whole lot easier. We have an almost 4 year old who doesn't sleep so honestly sometimes sex is the very last thing I want to do.
We call shotgun on who can be then "pencil" i.e who gets to lie still and do nothing.
1 day I hope we will have spontaneous sex for fun again haha

I’m so sorry @MammaJ21. I hope you’re ok. It’s so devastating isn’t it. I’ve read you are very fertile straight after a chemical so go for it if you feel ready. 😊
Sending you baby dust xxx

@elsimo that's hilarious 🤣🤣 who can be the pencil...lol , must try that with DH. In fairness he always has more energy than me anyway 😆
So important to keep a sense of humour about ttc.

@MammaJ21 I’m so sorry for your losses, seems incredibly unfair. Same as most of these lovely ladies have said, now you have a negative test it’s really upto you when your ready to start ttc again. I know throwing myself into ttc helped me through the grief, but everyone heals and grieves differently. Wishing you the best of luck when you decide you are ready 💕

@elsimo 😂😂

@bubblybrit @elsimo @Florence15
Thanks all ♥️
I know we've all been through it and it sucks. You don't realise how common it is until it happens and then you start googling...luckily this site exists too for a support network.
I feel a bit achey today and sick...strange as I've been feeling ok whilst it's been happening. and last time was a bit further along.

Hope everyone is feeling ok xx

Oh I am so glad DH and I aren’t the only ones @elsimo. We have a 2 year old who has a heavy cold at the moment so isn’t sleeping very well. By the time she settles and we organise everything for the following day all I want to do is sit with a cup of tea in front of the tv 😂 x

@MammaJ21. I was always aware of mc but think you always believe that it won’t happen to you....well that’s what I thought at least...until it did. Please do take care of yourself and use this site any time you need support. I still have bad days where I think what might have been but the ladies here always cheer me up x

@bubblybrit Thanks lovely.
Yes same here. Always aware of it, but doesn't quite hit you til it happens to you. I know so many people on here will have had multiple too, it's just so hard.

This time (2nd one) I think I found out too early.O genuinely didn't expect it but was cramping and had a tiny bit of brown discharge....think we only dtd once close to ov...so really didn't expect it.i kind of did a test just to prove to myself...so was shocked. Did another a while after too. Trouble is today we have everything at our hands...our parents probably didn't know for a couple of weeks after af was due! but it's so tempting isn't it.

It's hard when you're told to just 'wait it out and see". I totally get it...the epus would be so busy all the time and I know they can't do anything to change things but it would be good to have some confirmation at the time and to check everything is in order.

@MammaJ21 so sorry to hear about your loss, hope you're feeling ok. With my first mc we waited a while but the second and the cp we just tried again straight away, I think it's all down to preference and how you feel about it.

@elsimo the pencil 😂😂 glad we're not the only ones! DP asks if we're DTD tonight and if it's full on sex or a quickie and I usually always respond with "im not doing any work but I'll let you" (this applies whether TTC or not 😂) and I just oblige and he gets on with it and we go to sleep quickly 😂😂 unless it's a special occasion such as his birthday I might treat him and participate 😂 poor bloke haha.

@MammaJ21 it's by no means definite that a negative means everything has passed but being quite early on I would say so, the hormones tend to leave your body quicker which was the case for me too. Hope you've got some good support around you 💐

@elsimo the pencil 😂 love it. Me and DH have bickered a bit the last few fertile windows, I think me stressing has made him stress so I've calmed down this cycle, it's really hard though mentally let alone lining up sex drives and busy schedules 🤦🏼‍♀️. My DH is on call every 4 weeks which aligns perfectly with my fertile week every bloody time! He's up for work tomorrow and Friday at 3:30am and the thought of harassing the poor git tomorrow night after potentially 15/16 hours of work, I feel guilty 🙈

@bubblybrit @Lollipop25 did you ladies get your static?

@MammaJ21 be kind to yourself ❤️
I miscarried twins at the end of November and my SIL had her twins at the start of Feb. It has possibly been the hardest few months of my life with one thing and another. I had a MC before my DD and luckily fell straight away. After 18 months of trying I thought "surely I'll be fine this time".
All the professionals told me to try straight away again as I would be "super fertile" and here I am 5 cycles in and no hope.

We have been talking a lot about what's next for us - I don't think I have another year of TTC in me, both physically or emotionally. So our plan is IVF at the end of the year and then possibly adoption.

My long winded point is I have had some really really dark days but no matter how hopeless u feel just now this will all become more bearable xx

Urghhh @bez91 my OH was on nightshift for the whole of lockdown 🙄. Chuck in a non sleeping 3 year old and no nursery - and I wonder why I'm not pregnant lol.

I do remember a time tho that my OH used to moan about being tired etc and I used to be so annoyed if he wouldn't but now he is as obsessed with ovulation strips as me haha. He txts me from work to check the test results haha!

I am very grateful that our realtionship has probably became stronger through our struggles because it could so easily go the other way will all the pressure and emotion

@bez91 I ran out of opks so didn't test today 🤦‍♀️( must be more prepared next cycle ) with the ones I'm using smiley should still show tomorrow when I test if it showed today. I did have lower left pelvic pain and a banging headache throughout the day so🤞🤷🏼‍♀️

@elsimo not ideal is it 😂 my DH has been like that the last few months but thankfully this month he hasn't asked a lot which I'm grateful for at the moment. It was me who wanted to take a break this month but he insisted not... it's helped a little bit that he's left me to it but every month is different. Got my static this morning too 😬

@Lollipop25 oh no! I'm sure it won't matter if you're nearly there just keep going as you would have done 😊

@MammaJ21. Yeah it’s so horrible. My first pregnancy went so smooth that I just assumed my second one would as well. Was such a shock at my scan when I was told ‘I’m sorry but.....’ If I’m lucky enough to get pregnant again then I don’t think I’ll enjoy it one bit x

I’m still getting flashing smiley @bez91. I’m so frustrated as literally cannot be bothered dtd again this cycle. I’m also feeling that maybe I’m just not going to ovulate this month and hence all the dtd is a complete waste of time 😬

No smiley again today, so disheartened, thinking maybe I won't ovulate this cycle . CD19 and not a peep🤷🏼‍♀️

Ah I’m sorry @Lollipop25. It’s so frustrating isn’t it! X

Ahh that's rubbish @Lollipop25 although after my static smiley this morning I did a cheapy this afternoon and it's stark white 🤷‍♀️ so trusting these things!? I think I've started to become a bit over reliant on them

Thanks @bubblybrit, it's really annoying me now😂, @bez91 agree, This is my first cycle using them but to be honest I've been pregnant 4 times without them and I think for me they might not be a great idea. I'm too obsessive and I know every day I test and get no smiley it'll put me in a bad mood🤣 . I think I'll use up the box I've just got ( 19 left🙈) and forget about them.

I’m so disheartened this morning. Another day of flashing smiley and I’m on CD20. My cycles are usually between 30-34 days so know it’s still possible but annoying since I’ve had so many flashing smileys. Just feeling that either the test has missed my LH surge or I’m not gonna ovulate this month. Kinda feels like a wasted cycle at the moment as can’t get overly excited about the TWW as not convinced it would have been possible this month 😢

@bubblybrit aw I'm sorry your still waiting for your static, it's a real mood downer, I'm CD20 too, my tests don't give flashy smileys just two days of static🤷🏼‍♀️ , still no sign though , another O this morning. Cycles usually 28/29 days but last one was 1st after mc n it was 35 so think I'll go by that this month. So will be waiting for another while🤦‍♀️

@Lollipop25. I think I’m struggling a little bit as I’ll be 37 soon and can feel the months slipping through my fingers in terms of fertility. I also keep thinking that I should be 6 months pregnant now. In my head the only way to feel ‘better’ is to be pregnant again so I seem to have applied a lot of unnecessary pressure. Hopefully you receive your smiley over the next day or two as you may just have slightly extended cycles after your mc.

I’m going to dtd today and Sunday but will stop after that regardless of smiley faces for my own sanity!

@bubblybrit totally get where your coming from. I'm 38 next month. Clock is truly ticking. My youngest is 8. My sister had dd at 41 and SIL had ds at 38 so still time for us. It's a lot of pressure still. I'm kinda resigned that it won't be this month so will DTD just for fun😂 .🤞you get your static tomorrow,