TTC #2 over 40

[Jem1979]

Anyone else TTC over the age of 40? I have a 19 month who was conceived first attempt. TTC #2 since June without success so far. Be good to hear from anyone in the same boat! I’m still bfeeding so wondering if that might be a factor. Plus my age obvs!

@Mattieandmummy @birdbybird me too! I'll be delighted with 2 at this rate!

@Jem1979 I love acupuncture! I don’t even like needles normally but this is totally different. I think it helps that my acupuncturist is just totally lovely and really nice to chat to for a while. I always feel so completely relaxed afterwards it’s just lovely. I started doing it weekly last cycle so am going to give it three months of weekly and then go down to once or twice a month before I go bankrupt! 😂

@Twothirtyam I think I would like acupuncture if I wasn’t such a needlephobe.

@Mattieandmummy and @Jem1979 I think I’ll be happy with 2. I think I was only joking about the third because I naively assumed my pregnancy would stick.

hello! I'm turning 40 on Wednesday and am trying for no.2. we have a little boy who is 2 and a bit, and we conceived him and his predecessor who only made it to 10 weeks () during the first month of trying, but have been trying since Dec 2020 for a second with no luck. because it was so easy for us to conceive the first time around, i was more worried about miscarriages this time, but haven't even had a pregnancy (other than potentially a chemical pregnancy in feb, where my period was late by a few days and i had v sore boobs, but i didn't take a test, so who knows!).

really nice to find this lovely group in a similar situation, even if that situation is not the best! have any/most of you had fertility testing to see if there are any underlying issues? i would quite like to get tested to find out if there are any fundamental problems, but i'm not sure if it's really worth it given that we already have a child so have been able to get pregnant (i.e. is it now just age?) and even though I would really like a sibling for my little boy, we probably wouldn't go the ivf route in any case...

Hi everyone. So I spoke to the fertility clinic for the first time today. She said she can do x2 investigations. A scan and the hycosy. I don’t think I have the capacity to go through with the hycosy. In which case she said that I wouldn’t be given any further treatment.

Husbands results are not great, so that rules out clomid. No ivf on nhs, so will have to be private.

I asked her to be honest with me and she basically I’m a right-off.

My bloods aren’t bad, for age 43- but I guess there’s nothing further I can do. Given this advice.

A family tragedy (of immense proportion) stopped me from trying younger- but now my chance is gone.

Trying not to think about it- as I have my amazing son. But I’m calling it a day I think.

@99pctpractice hello there you are very welcome to our chat. Sounds like you have a lot of similarities with a few of us. It's really helpful to hear from others in our age bracket TTC #2. As @Mattieandmummy recently pointed out it seems it's quite common to struggle to conceive your second but isn't really talked about. I think some of us have had investigations and others haven't gone down that route yet. Sending you luck as you continue to try and feel free to vent/blether whenever on here.

@Cashewcookie oh I am sorry to hear what she said to you, I'm sure that was hard to hear and sending you a big hug. Life can be very cruel and it sounds like you've been dealt a really tough hand with your family circs. If that's your decision to stop trying I hope you can be at peace with it and enjoy your life from here on in with your son. At least you can say you tried xx

Ps @Lastyearttc how did your hycosy go? x

@cashewcookie I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. As @Jem1979 said life can be so cruel and very few people get everything they ever wanted out of life, even those who look like they have everything very often have their own sadness. It doesn't help of course but you really did try. Try not to be too hard on yourself xx

Thank you @Jem1979 and @Mattieandmummy xx

I thought she was incredible unprofessional saying I had zero chances. But it’s hit home, hard. At least it feels I can move on a bit.

@Jem1979 it went all fine thanks for asking good news is womb, ovaries, tubes, lining all ok... so it's just down to my old eggs I think! Partner got a SA later this month too, so see what that brings.

@birdbybird I think we are cycle buddies as I'm on cd9 today. Earliest I ovulate is cd 12 so going to try dtd tomorrow onwards.

Cycle no 11 come on!

@Cashewcookie that must have been horrible, I really feel for you. Some of the language used around fertility is really disheartening and I think sometimes if there isn’t a clear solution (or issue), drs / fertility clinics will hedge their bets and give you a lower probability of success. Especially when it is in their interests to get you to do more tests, try ivf etc....and especially difficult for you if you have been through such a rough period before you started trying. I hope you are not too shaken up and can be more compassionate with yourself than she was.

@Lastyearttc I’m CD12... started DTD from CD9 and got a high fertility day today.
Hoping tomorrow is peak and I ovulate Saturday or Sunday.

Happy Saturday hope everyone having a good weekend so far. The nice weather makes such a difference! AF has signalled she's on her way so feeling a bit emotional today. I'm trying to look at the positives that things are back on track with my cycles. And will have a large glass of wine later! x

Happy Saturday @Jem1979 I’m CD 13 and got a second high today on the opk. Waiting for the peak. DTD since CD 9. I’m sorry AF is on her way. Wishing you best of luck this next cycle.

Got a peak today at CD14 on Clear Blue Digital. How is everyone else going?

@birdbybird good stuff, enjoy your bd and good luck! 🤞x

@99pctpractice gosh- so exactly spot on. It’s really strange to me that anyone would stick their neck out and say: you’ll never ever conceive. Particularly given neither dh or I have zero results. Of course there’s never a guarantee of conceiving, at any age- but to dishearten someone is cruel.

I just think some medical professionals get hardened hearts. Thinking they’re doing you a favour, when really, they simply have no bedside manner.

As everyone says. It takes one single sperm (out of millions sometimes) and one egg. She shouldn’t be making a decision for me, I should have made the decision to stop myself.

Thanks for your message. Xx

Morning everyone, just checking in, I'm CD15 and just got my peak smiley this morning hope everyone is doing ok x

Morning @Jem1979 I’m dpo14 I think and anxiously waiting for AF to show up after what I thought was a squinted of a line followed by a BFN this morning.

@Jem1979 Morning! I’m 9dpo today but not holding out much hope this month as only managed to DTD once in my fertile window. Again! I’ve paid for a personalised nutrition plan though so am just going through the bumpf now and then will head to the supermarket to stock up! The list of supplements though - oh boy! It’s going to cost an absolute fortune!

@birdbybird the dreaded wait for AF! I guess you aren't def out til she shows? Good luck.

@Twothirtyam you never know, once might be enough! I've just actually been watching a fertility clinic on this morning and they were talking about the benefit of diet. I am a chocoholic and have a very sweet tooth so def going to try and eat a bit less refined sugar!

@Jem1979 the feeling of a negative test and then a missing period, is very similar to getting a positive test and than spotting. :(

@Jem1979 I’m a chocoholic too but have been trying for a while to cut down as my energy levels are so much better when I eat less chocolate. Giving up all sweet treats (bar once or twice a week) will be tough but I figure it’s only for 6 months or so then if it hasn’t worked I’ll sack it off and eat what I want! 😄

So progesterone still flipping low this month, I was so hopeful too. Had ewcm for the first time since having my daughter, actually felt hungry for first time in forever and ovulation moved back ..... I had really hoped to do this myself and seems so flipping unfair my hormones still haven't sorted themselves out since stopping bfing. So fed up with stupid hormones.

Sorry just needed a bit of a rant.

I think I'm just going to have to accept that I need / have go on lutrazole

@Twothirtyam yes definitely do-able for 6 months, I'm going to try hard to cut out the rubbish. I can be quite disciplined during the day but evenings on the couch are my downfall, the worst time too! 

@Mattieandmummy oh that's frustrating for you.....but at least there is something you can take and it's relatively straight forward am guessing?